Nathan
I'm so f*****g stupid!
Why did I raise my voice at Alice, and why did I get into the car?! I said she wasn't worth it, but the joke is on me because my heart won't stop aching, and my brain won't shut off!
Those images from that dream are hunting me as I drive. I see the other Alice's smile, and the picture mixes with the real-life Alice I saw earlier. Their faces, eyes, and smiles—it's all the same!
"Damn," I say while driving and suck in a deep breath. "That dream really messed me up..."
Tears are stinging behind my eyelids, but I don't shed them. I'm a grown man, for f**k's sake. It would be stupid to cry over something like this, and yet... Yet I'm close.
I was about to have a fifth daughter in that dream—I held Lily in my arms. She was perfect. Cute and adorable with ti
