Lockwood City: The Tale of Eloise

Seven

Falling In Reverse- Losing My Mind

Eloise:

Victoria made me a yogurt cup with strawberries in it. She even added gram crackers. I sat in the front seat of the ugly pink BMW to eat it. My dad took this moment to show up with a couple of guards to move the sliding glass in the kitchen to back the car into the elevator. They moved the furniture away to clear the space. Now, my dad is sitting in the passenger seat next to me adjusting the seat to his height. A big man like him looks funny in this car. If the soft top weren't down he wouldn't fit.

"Would you like to learn how to drive?" he asks. "It's automatic. It doesn't get easier than this,"

"You want to teach me to drive? Right now?" I laugh half expecting him to say, just kidding. He does that more than either of us cares to admit. It's both awkward and embarrassing.

"Why not?" he shrugs before reaching for the seatbelt.

I put the cup on the cup holder and looked down at the steering wheel. Driving a car has never piqued my curiosity. In fact, the only thing I've ever driven is the bike. My mom was really upset when I left tire marks in the living room. Blitz taught me and we took turns driving around the apartment on more than one occasion. It's our not-so-little secret.

"Yeah, okay," I shrug.

He smiles as I reach for the start button. The car purrs to life as I pull the seatbelt on. Nerves kick in but I push them back. I've done simulations on my PC hundreds of times with Blitz. It shouldn't be that different, right?

"You know what you're doing?" he asks.

"In theory," I laugh meeting his nervous gaze.

Blitz once told me that everything is a theory until someone tries it. He says that I should probably try to use up some of my theoretical abilities. This feels like one of them.

"The doors are open," Victoria says worriedly from behind us.

I turn the radio on and let the music fill the silence. All Me by Drake is playing as I push down on the brake and set the shifter on R. The rearview camera comes on but I ignore it as I adjust my mirrors so that I don't hit anything. I place my hand on my dad's headrest and take a couple of breaths to calm my heart pounding in my chest. I slowly release the gas pedal.

The car slowly begins to ease back. I turn the wheel slightly to get closer to the elevator. My dad is very still. His eyes are on the footage on the dashboard. He doesn't instruct me as I try my first parallel parking. He's holding his breath as I back into the elevator and then straighten the car with ease. We both let out a heavy sigh as I put the shifter back into parking.

"Did you drive the car around the apartment?" he places a trembling hand on his chest.

"No, just the bike," I laugh nervously. Heat floods my face as warmth spreads over me. I rub my face feeling an itch, like ants crawling over my skin.

"You're not driving that bike," he shakes his head.

"Dad-"

"Nope. If I didn't let your mother drive it. You sure as f**k aren't," he growls.

My phone begins to ring on the Bluetooth setting on the dashboard. Elias's name pops up and I feel the warmth drain from my body. I glance over at my dad. He gives me a nod as he turns away. I press the green icon on the screen.

"Are you okay?" is the first thing he asks.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"I-uh. Your nervousness is really strong," he says softly. "I've never felt like this before,"

"Oh," I laugh awkwardly. "Yeah, my dad is teaching me to drive,"

"To drive?" he asks surprised. My dad turns to the screen and sneers.

"Yeah, I backed my car into the elevator,"

"That's-" he chuckles. "Good. That's really good. Did you hit anything?"

"Nope, I just might be really good at this,"

"We'll see," my dad scoffs.

"Okay, I just needed to know you're okay. I'm sorry for the interruption. I'll see you tomorrow,"

"Okay," I whisper and he ends the call. I stretch to the left until my neck pops.

"How are you dealing with that?" he asks.

"I'm not," I answer honestly. "I don't- I didn't want to mark him. I didn't want him to break his engagement. I have more than enough to deal with. Adding a capable ex and a relationship to all of this is the last thing I wanted,"

"Then why did you bite him?" he smirks.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm just as big an ass hole as you are," the elevator pings, and the doors open. He laughs handing me a pair of shades. The song changes and 0-100 begins to play. The music blares from the speakers catching the attention of those in the lobby.

"Maybe," he nods. "You got this?"

"Looks like it,"

I put the car in reverse again. I back up as much as I can and then put the car into drive. The passenger rearview mirror dinks the wall hard enough to shut it. My dad backs away and glares at me as if I did it on purpose. Once I was all the way out he fixes the mirror.

"Right," he points towards the back.

Everyone is looking at me as I turn the steering wheel to drive through the lobby. We reach the back area where the warehouse is and I drive out into the parking lot. My heart is racing again but it's a different kind of rush. This one is cold. I don't think I can go out there just yet.

"Now what?" I ask.

"Do you want to drive around the block?"

"No," I shake my head. "But I don't want to go back up right now,"

"Good," he nods. "Jump over. I'll drive,"

He climbs out as I put the car in park. I hop over the center console and put the seat belt on. I feel so small in this seat. I laugh as he adjusts the driver's seat so he can get in. He looks over at me with this flare of relief on his face. I take my cup and scoop a yogurt-covered strawberry into my mouth just to keep busy. I can't just sit here. As we pull away from the parking lot, I see my mom leaning against the entrance with a smile on her face. She gives me a little wave before she goes inside.

This is really happening.

My dad doesn't hold anything back. I laugh as he pulls into the street cutting off a couple of cars. I feel a little dizzy as I look around. This is the first time I actually leave the Lockwood Tower completely.

The streets are alive with people. They all turn to look at this ugly pink car. It's funnier because my dad is driving it. I laugh scooping another piece as the wind blows through my hair. The smell down here is rich with various scents. From the other pack wolves, even the burnt scent of rogues.

The air around me has always tasted darker than the air around my mother and my sister. Like burnt sugar. It's something they teach us in elementary school. Something I'll never forget because the person in the cell next to me, he smelled like burnt popcorn. I focused on that sometimes. Especially when I was bleeding.

"Dad?" I look over at him. He has a smile on his face.

"Yeah?"

"Am I a rogue? You know because of my wolf?" I ask. The smile fades and he sighs heavily before nodding.

"Yeah, feral wolves can't-"

"I understand," I nod. Feral wolves don't know how to make a connection. Not in the traditional sense anyway. "Is it possible for me to reverse it?"

"It's unheard of," he answers honestly. "But so is a bunch of other s**t you do. I'm certain you'll bounce back,"

"Would you be mad at me if I gave it up?" I turn the music off. My ears are filled with the sounds around me. The silence is gone and filled with the sound of the world of the living. This is better. It's less controlled but it still has a pattern.

"No," he says without hesitation. "I'd never be mad at you for doing what's best for you, Eloise. I want you to understand that I only want you to be happy again. I want you to be more than Rapunzel. I want you to be Eloise Lockwood. Whoever that may be. That's all I want,"

"Okay," I nod.

He pulls into what looks like a huge warehouse. There are cars everywhere. A man steps out from inside and comes over to us. My dad asks me to get out. I finish my yogurt and climb out. The way everyone is staring at me is flattering. There's no disgust or fear. They're just genuinely curious about who I am and why I'm here with the alpha. At least, that's what I'm going to tell myself. I stay away from the runway and wait for my dad to call me over to him.

"What color?" he asks.

"Oh," I reach into my pocket to fish out my phone. I hold it up to the man next to him. I flinch back when he reaches for me. My dad carefully takes it from me and hands it to him.

"I can have it done by tomorrow morning, sir," he informs my dad. "You can take my car for now, if you like,"

"I'd rather walk," I say taking a step back. My dad smiles.

"We'll walk," he agrees.

"The key fob is in the center glove compartment," I inform him.

"That's all I need," he hands my dad a tablet.

I pull my hoodie over my head as we make our way out to the curb. My body is tensed up tightly. This might be a little too much for me right now but I need to make myself feel less so that when I get to Elias's apartment tomorrow, I don't spend the entire day throwing up. I actually haven't thrown up in a couple of days. Not since that first morning, we spent together.

It's weird seeing the other buildings from below. I push my hands into my front pocket and follow behind my dad. I reach out to take his hand when a kid on a skateboard glides by us. A laugh erupts out of me as I watch him get smaller and smaller the further he gets. My dad tightens his hold on me. I sneeze when an intense scent hits my nose.

"Hotdog?" my dad points at a cart. I shake my head.

"Do you know what's in a hotdog?" I mumble to myself. He laughs pulling me closer to him.

"Just like your mother," he scoffs.

We walk a few blocks. There are people bowing to him. Even the rogues. Their eyes linger on me. They know who I am. I'm sure he's telling them to stay back through the pack's link. It's hot down here. I'm sweating and it's not something that happens often. Not even when I'm working out. I don't like it but I don't say anything either. All I have under my sweater is my sports bra. The last thing I want is for anyone to see my scars. Any of them. Even my mark. They're mine. They have no business looking at them.

"Help," someone cries out. I let go of my dad's hand and look back as a man in a black hoodie runs in our direction. "My purse!"

Without thinking, I lash out, my hand slams into the man's chest hard. Hard enough that I lift him off his feet before slamming him on the ground hard with a growl.

"No," the man groans.

My dad pulls me away and grabs the man on the floor who is trying to gasp for air. I snatch the purse from him as a girl rushes over to us. She looks down at the man and kicks him. I recognize her right away. What are the f*****g odds of us meeting this way?

Tiffany Dustin is standing there with a sneer on her pretty face. Her dark auburn hair is pulled up into a high ponytail. she's wearing tight denim shorts with a black crop top. Green letters that read, MONSTER across her chest. She's smaller than I expected her to be but a lot prettier in person.

"Thank you so much," she says when I offer her the purse.

"Good timing," my dad says when I don't address her.

"Alpha Tec," she bows her head formally. "I didn't-" her eyes move to me and I avert my gaze. "Hi," she stretches over to get a better look at me. I don't say anything. "I'm Tiffany,"

"She knows," my dad answers her. "Are you okay? You didn't hurt yourself did you?"

"No," I put my hand back into my pocket and take a step back. What the hell is this feeling? I suddenly want to take the purse and hit her with it.

"Thank you," she repeats. "I have some real import-"

I growl and step away from her when she tries to come closer. I don't really know where I am so I can't just walk away. My dad grabs my arm and apologizes to her. She doesn't try to address me again. The police arrive. I lean against the wall of the building we're standing in front of as my dad tells the cops what happened.

Her scent is sweet. Floral. Her skin is flawless. I sneak a peek over at her to see her still staring at me. Suddenly it gets too hot to keep my hoodie on. I push it back and remove my glasses to wipe the sweat away with the back of my sleeve. She straightens up a little when I look up at her again. She tries to fix her top and pushes a stray strand of her hair behind her ear. My dad looks between us as I avert my gaze again.

"Are you hot?" my dad asks coming over to me with a water bottle the man from the hotdog cart gave him.

"A little but I'm not wearing a shirt under," I say as I put the glasses back on.

"I can buy a shirt if you don't want to go home yet," he suggests.

I give him a nod. He looks around and goes into one of the shops. He comes back out with a red t-shirt. It has a picture of a strawberry on the front. I smile and pull the sleeves of my hoodie to free my arms. I slide the shirt over my arms and push the hoodie off as I slide the t-shirt over my head. My dad takes the hoodie as I quickly pull the t-shirt down. She's still staring at me. The scarring on my arms isn't as bad as the scarring on my chest or my abdomen. Did she see it? Did she see the difference between us?

"Better?" he asks.

"Yeah," I nod trying to take the hoodie back. He smirks pulling it away and I let him keep it.

"We're done, Alpha Tec. Thank you," the officer looks at me.

I give him a nod and he smiles brightly before his eyes land on my neck. I reach up remembering that the new scar is on full display and I cover it. My dad pulls my arm down and shakes his head.

"Don't hide that. He put it there for a reason,"

"I don't care. It's just another scar to me," I growl pulling my braid forward to hide it.

He lets out a heavy sigh and motions me to follow. I look back at her one last time. She climbs into a green Eclipse Spyder. Her eyes are still on me until she pulls away from the curb. When she gets a chance she hits the gas with confidence and does a U-turn. Her license plate says No. 2. I grin. She's not wrong.

We look around and even stop at some of the shops that have outside setups. I get some cute bracelets and a mood ring. I don't know when it happens but I find myself smiling. I find myself interacting with everyone as if I've known them my entire life. I slip the bracelets on to cover the scarring on my wrists. If they notice, none of them say a word. We're almost to the Lockwood Tower when I notice people with expensive-looking cameras taking pictures of me. Pictures.

I can't remember the last time I took pictures. I almost run into the building and into the elevator. My dad follows and doesn't say anything as I take deep breaths to try and steady the trembling I've been holding back since I got in the car. I groan when my wolf pushes against me.

"f**k," I gasp as my skin stretches along my back. "Dad, close the elevator when I get inside,"

"Eloise," he kneels down in front of me and shakes his head. "You have control, baby. Calm down. Take deep even breaths. Breathe with me,"

"No," I shake my head. "I can smell her," I growl. "I can smell the flower-" I groan as my wolf pushes against me again the sound of my bones cracking, preparing to rearrange themselves is all I can hear. I let out a grunt as my body breaks out in a sweat again. "Please,"

"Okay, okay," the door pings and I stumble into the apartment. "Victoria, get out,"

"What happened?" my mom and Victoria rush out.

"Baby, come here. Victoria," they all rush into the elevator and I collapse taking my new shirt off. I toss my phone into it and fall on all fours.

"f**k," I growl feeling the pain this time.

I feel everything. All of it. A growl rips out of me as my bones pop out of place to rearrange themselves. I lie here letting the shift consume me the way Elias told me to. Everything blurs together for a bit but when it clears out, I'm still in my skin. I fall on my side feeling the cold tiles along my hot body. The doors ping and Elias rushes out of the elevator. He skids to a stop in front of me.

"Hey, hey," he reaches for me. I want to tell him to get his hands off of me. I want to kick and scream but I don't have the energy to move as he lifts me up to cradle my head on his lap. "What happened?"

"Why did you leave her?" I whisper. My voice is raspy from the almost shift I just went through.

"What do you mean? Who?"

"Tiffany Dustin," I answer. "She's perfect for you. Why did you leave her?"

"I don't want to be with her," he says pushing the hair stuck to my face away. The cold coming from the AC is drying the sweat on my body making me shiver. I feel sticky and uncomfortable. "I want to be with you,"

"What if I don't want to be with you, Elias?" I choke out because even as the slip from my lying lips. They hurt. Like my body is refusing to see reason. "What if I told you that I don't want you?"

"Why are you saying that?" he asks. "Do you mean it?"

"Answer me. Would you go back?" I demand. My body shakes with the soreness of what just happened. How did I stop the shift? I pull my legs up preparing myself to stand up and he lets me.

"No," he answers. I look over at him. His pretty apple-green eyes hold my challenge. "Even if you decide you don't want me. I can't go back. There will never be anyone else,"

"Do you love her?"

"Yes," he nods. The word stings.

"I can't go to that apartment," I say pushing myself up to my feet. My body shakes when I bend down to pick up my new T-shirt and my phone. "If I catch her scent again, I don't know what my wolf will do. I could have killed my dad in the elevator. Find a different place if you want me to go with you,"

"Okay, I'll have a new place when I come to get you tomorrow," he agrees without hesitation. His eyes land on my wrists. I look down at the colorful bracelets and slowly make my way to the stairs.

"You should have rejected me, Elias. The moment you laid eyes on me. I really am sorry. This isn't going to be easy for either of us. I'm learning about myself at the same pace you are and if I see her anywhere near you, so much as smell her on you. I don't know what I'll do but I do know that it won't be good,"