The Billionaire's Secret Baby

Besides Myself

Hope's POV

******* Five Years Later******

It's a cool winter evening in New York and I am far away from home. I never thought a day would come when I would find myself in a place like this. Never did I think that I would be able to make my dreams a reality with everything I have had to face in the past.

If you asked me five years ago if I would have been able to complete my studies and become a junior editor in a publishing house, I would have simply told you that it was impossible, this was not even in my plans, I wanted to be lawyer back then.I was in a bad space and I needed to get away. Having family like mine is not easy, especially since they put me out in the streets. I had nowhere to go and I needed the money. I never thought that I would stoop to a level I never thought I would be, never did I think that I would compromise myself like I did back then.

To be honest, no one forced me to do it, even though I was not sure if I could go through with it. I did it, I slept with a man I didn't know, a man I had only laid eyes on once. I don't even remember what happened the rest of the night because I decided to drink alcohol for some liquid courage or I wouldn't have been able to go through with it.

I suppose maybe it would have been easier if I had given myself to someone else first because that night, I lost more than just my virginity. I still remember the horror when I woke up sleeping next to a man I don't know. I woke up because I was feeling a little cold, when I opened my eyes, there was a man sleeping next to me, a very handsome man but still a stranger.

I looked down and realised that I was completely naked and the memories of the night before flooded my mind. I jumped out of bed. I could see the lingerie and the coat on the floor, I couldn't remember what happened until that moment. I knew that I had to get out of there. I left the suite and went to my locker where I had kept my envelope in, the cash I received the previous night. When I opened my locker, I found a second envelope, I had twenty thousand dollars to my name.

I have never had that kind of cash before. I was very young and twenty grands was a lot of money. I changed into my own clothes and I left. I knew what was waiting for me at home, I just didn't think that it was only the beginning of a very hard time ahead of me. I know that we haven't had the best relationship but the thought of seeing my stepmother and stepsister out in the streets didn't sit well with me, especially since I had twenty thousand dollars in cash.

I had the money but somehow, I didn't feel good about it, I felt like I had just sold myself to the devil, that I had just lost the very thing that made me, me! I was a virgin because I always thought that my husband would be my first. I have had so many things taken away from me and my virginity was the only thing that I knew no one would take away unless I gave it away willingly.

I was a willing party and now I feel dirty. I was besides myself. I didn't even know if I wanted to keep the money anymore. When I came home, no one was there. I went into the shower and tried to wash off the shame. I was not proud of what happened. No matter how much I washed myself, I still felt dirty. I scrubbed myself and when I was done, my skin was red from all the scrubbing. I went to my closet and took out a suitcase, I started packing. I took whatever I could and left.

I went to the airport and took the first plane out of the country side. Life in the country is not like life in the city, after what I did I couldn't risk being there. If anyone would have seen me coming out of that suite, things would have turned out very bad for me. I was the orphan, the sweet, humble and respectful orphan who was loved by a lot of people. I didn't know if I would have been able to look at them in the face after what I did. The shame was too much to bare.

I consoled myself with the notion that I was already on my way of town, I was just doing it sooner. I left and made my way to university. I won't lie and say that it was easy because it was not, it was scary. I am a country girl and now here I was surrounded by huge buildings and traffic. Everything seemed to be moving at an accelerated pace in the city.

I soon found out that the scenery was the least of my problems because finding a place to stay was definitely a nightmare. The rent was high and the apartments where tiny. I knew that whatever money I had left would run out soon if I didn't get a job. I finally managed to find myself a tiny apartment and a job a few minutes away from the apartment.

There was a restaurant and I was weighing tables, I even made a friend there. When the time for me to go to university came I was excited, I was going to start a new chapter in my life and for the first time in a long time, it felt like things were going well for me. That joy and excitement didn't last long. A few months into my studies, I started to notice changes in my body.

At first I didn't understand the changes, I didn't know what was happening to me, especially since I felt completely fine. I was gaining weight and I didn't think it was serious, then I fainted at work, when I woke up, I was in hospital and the doctor gave me the news. I still remember it like it was yesterday.

I remember opening my eyes only to hear a beeping sound coming from the top of my head, my eyes hurt so I squinted my eyes hoping to see my surroundings. It took me a few seconds to realise that I was lying on a hospital bed. The door opened and a doctor came in with a clipboard in his hand.

"I see that you awake," The doctor said with a smile as he made his way to my bed.

"Awake? What happened?" I asked him. I had no recollection of what had happened.

" Hope you fainted, do you remember that?" The doctor said to me.

"Yes, I remember," I said as memories flooded back.

" Doctor is there something wrong with me?" I asked him. I mean I was only eighteen, I know that I don't exercise but I try to eat healthier and all in all, I am in good shape.

"On the contrary, it looks like you are pregnant, congratulations!" He said to me.

"What? No! You must be mistaken, I am not pregnant, that is impossible!" I said to him. I mean he had to be wrong, how could he tell me that I am pregnant? I am not even seeing anyone. I came to the city because I want to make something of myself, I want to focus on my studies so I don't want a relationship, besides that, I am far to busy to be in a relationship.

"I don't know what to tell you Hope but you are pregnant, twenty weeks to be exact!" He said to me.

"Is this a joke? This is a prank right? Kim put you up to this right?" I said to him. Kim is my manager and a very good friend of mine, I can even go as far as saying that we are best friends, Doctor Stevens is her boyfriend.

"I don't know what else to say to you, let me call Kim, I can see that you are still in shock," He said and took out his phone.

He is right about one thing, I am still very much in shock. I don't know how this happened, I was not having s*x but I was on birth control, mainly because of my periods and besides that, the only time I had s*x was that one time I have been trying so hard to forget. I remember that we used protection so how can I pregnant?

"None of this makes sense! you are saying that I am twenty weeks into the pregnancy, that means that I am in my second trimester, how could I be pregnant and not know it? Surely there would have been signs right?" I said to him.

"Not necessarily, Hope you are having what we call a cryptic pregnancy, which would explain why you didn't know anything, why you didn't have any morning sickness, it happens sometimes," He said to me.

"What about the baby? Is the baby fine?" I asked him. I was in still in shock but in that moment, I was more worried about the baby.

"Yes the baby is fine, strong heartbeat, do you want to see?" He asked me.

"Yes, please!" I said to him.

" Okay, relax. " He said.

I can't believe that it has been five years since then. I was scared, afraid that I would lose my scholarship, afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it, that I would be able to be the mother that my child needed. I didn't know how I was going to cope with school and raise a baby. I had a tough decision to make. I knew that I didn't want to terminate the pregnancy, especially since I was in my second trimester.

That didn't mean that I wanted to keep the baby. I went home and all I could think about was giving the baby up for adoption. I had every reason not to want to keep the baby. I have only seen the father of my child once and I didn't even tell him my real name. He thinks that I am the woman he was waiting for. I don't know his name and he said that he was from out of town.

If I had a name, maybe I would have been able to get hold of him but I don't. I didn't know where or how to find him, that means that asking him for help was out of the picture. I thought about going back home to my stepmother and stepsister but my heart wouldn't let me. They were already struggling to make ends meet, I couldn't go back with an extra mouth to feed. I thought that I had run out of options, that the only thing to do was to give up my baby for adoption.

Since I was not showing, I thought that I could get away with it. I didn't think that anyone would find out, that it would be my little secret. Kim on the other hand realised that I was acting a little strange. Then my son decided that he would come two week early. I was at work when I went into labour, though I wanted to give him for adoption, as soon as I held him in my arms, I knew I couldn't let him go.

I chose to keep him, to raise him alone, I had to drop my studies and change the course, being a lawyer was a dream but with all the work that comes with it, I simply didn't want to be away from my son, after all, I was all he has and he has given me the best four years of my life. With the help of friends, I was able to complete my studies and now I am working as a junior editor for Maddison Publishing House. I have been working very hard and finally my hard work is paying off, I won an award, which is why I now find myself making my way to the award ceremony in New York.

I was in a five star hotel and it was amazing. The room I was in was a suite. It was all white, from the marble floors to the beautiful ceilings with a beautiful Chrystal chandelier. There was a living room area with an L shaped sofa and a big screen TV, a beautiful glass coffee table and an amazing view of the city. Right now I am talking to Kim on the phone, she wanted to see me before I left.

" So how do I look?" I said to Kim on the phone.

" You look gorgeous, blue is definitely your colour," She said to me. I was wearing a blue velvet bodycon dress, I might be a junior editor but I don't actually earn that much money and with everything I am paying for, I can't afford to buy designer clothes. This dress though, this I found in a thrift store, it is designer and it fits me perfectly.

"Thank you, I have to go, I will call you in the morning, kiss my little munchkin for me please." I said and blew her a kiss before I hung up the phone.

I went to the couch and took my purse, I put on some perfume and I made my way out of the suite. The hallway was empty when I made my way to the lift. I called for the lift and waited, my phone buzzed in my purse. I took it out and saw that it was a picture from Kim, it was my son sleeping.

The lift opened and someone came out, whoever it was, he was big because he bumped into me and knocked me off my feet, lucky for me because he has good reflexes, he was able to catch me before I reached the ground. I gained my balance and prepared myself to give him a piece of my mind when he suddenly beat me to it and spoke.

" Watch It!" He said to me rudely.

"You are the one who bumped into me you a**hole!" I said rudely.

I lifted up my head and our eyes met, my heartbeat accelerated, I felt hot and thirsty at the same time. I know this man, I know I do. I even remember the smell of his cologne. He has the same eyes as my son, the same nose, even the same chin, he is like an older version of my four year old son. I quickly turned my head picked up my purse on the floor.

"Don't I know you from somewhere? Stacey right?" He said to me.

My heartbeat accelerated even more, it was like it was going to jump out of my chest. He is right about one thing, we have met before. I was a different person back, the woman I am right now wants nothing with the woman he previously met. I made a mistake, a huge mistake and I try very hard to forget it. This man has no idea what that night did to me or how much it changed my life.

It has been almost five years since I laid eyes on him and he is just as handsome as I remembered him to be. I also know that five years is a long time. If I acknowledge that I know him, it might change my life again and I am not sure if that is a good thing. I have been doing just fine for the last five years, do I really need to rehash the past?