I remember when Papa always used to make me close my eyes when it came to the part where two people would kiss in the movies. “Don’t look beta”, he would say and put his hand on my eyes, covering my vision and making me giggle. Even as I got older, he would watch me from the side of his eye to make sure I wasn’t looking at the television during scenes like that. As a child, I found it quite gross that people lick each other’s mouth, so I never grumbled when Papa made me look away. But when I got older, I purposely fixed my gaze on the couple kissing with a huge grin on my face and I waitedo for him to mumble with annoyance something like, “movies like these set bad examples on children. Don’t go kissing boys, Neha”.
Papa had always kept me sheltered to protect me from getting hurt. Yes, sometimes he was a bit extreme but it always made me feel cared for. Those hourly calls when I left home to ask if I'm okay, wanting to know every detail about the people I talk to, Friday dinners when we would both talk about all the good and bad In our week while we polished off the paneer butter masala curry with naan from our plates. We took care of each other, looked out for each other and most importantly loved each other. And as an Indian girl living in America, Papa helped me hold up my reputation and dignity that I don’t possess now, as well.
I wonder what he would say if he knew how my last few days had been. First, losing my job before deciding to fly back to India with the money I had saved and then being kidnapped as a s*x slave by a powerful man. What would the same man who kept me from watching people kiss on screen say if he knew that I was about to go down on my knees in front of a man who treats me nothing more than a toy?.
I feel shame enveloping me entirely as I watch the devil repeat his words again, “get down on your knees before I force you to”. Still shaking from my first orgasm, I know better than to test him any further now, so I timidly let my knee caps scrape on the rough carpets and swallow back my sobs that are threatening to break free. I've never felt so humiliated in my life. The devil steps forward until the obvious bulge in his pants is right in front of my face. I look up at him with pleading eyes and beg him to not do this, but he returns my look with one of his own that says he doesn’t give a single f**k about what I want.
He bends down, fisting my hair at the back of my scalp and sharply pulling it until my head tilts further. He leans in close and I feel his minty breath on my face, his eyes drill deep into mine while he says, “If you make me repeat myself, I’ll make sure that the ass of yours is red and you won’t be able to sit for another few days”.
“Do you understand?” I nod immediately at his question, and he straightens, his hand still firmly wrapped around the locks of my hair. “Good girl”, he says and I hear a door open somewhere in the massive house. My body freezes for an entirely different reason again. Was someone in here, did they see me pinned against the wall completely naked? I never bothered to think if there were any other people living with the devil because I assumed he liked to be alone most of the time but now that I know how large his home is, there must be a few more people staying here. With uneasiness, I realize how much I don’t know about this man when he knows a lot about me.
The devil lets go of my hair and when I notice confusion crossing his features, I let out a breath of relief. Having the devil seeing me completely unclothed while he plays with my body is one thing, but I would not tolerate it if more men saw me just as vulnerable. I scramble to my feet and pick up the scraps of my torn dress, trying my best to cover my private areas with it. I hear voices in the living room, the devils and another man. I press my back against the wall and pray that they don’t come to where I am. Breathing hard, I think about screaming for help. Does the other man know about me? Does he know that I was taken against my will? Will I have a chance to escape now?
I turn to peek from the corner of the wall that divides the dining room from the kitchen that leads to the living room where I'm sure the guest is. But soon as I do, I see him, my personal living nightmare turn to the corner, his gaze capturing mine as soon as he does and I curse.
“What the f**k were you about to do?” he spits while also removing his suit jacket and handing it to me, gesturing with his hands to cover myself.
“Nothing, I was about to do nothing”, I say defensively and slip my arms into the armholes and then button up. The jacket falls off one shoulder, too big for me but the warmth and the smell of him enfolding me makes me love it.
He opens his mouth to say something else but stops when another man walks in. The first thing I notice is how he has a wide, genuine grin plastered on his face and I immediately know that I’ll like him. He wears a similar suit to what the devil always wears and his dark blonde hair is neatly gelled back. When he comes to a stand next to the devil, I see how he is at least a foot shorter but still gives out the same sense of power and wealth just as my captor does. The only difference is that this man doesn’t look like he wants to kill me while also wanting to f**k me hard.
“Neha”, the devil speaks almost boredly. “This is Alex, my business partner”
Alex reaches out his hand to me and I catch a glimpse of the dark tattoos peeking out from his shirt sleeves. “I'm Alexander. I'm more of this big man’s best friend than his business partner”, he says with a soothing but deep voice and I can’t help but smile while I shake his hand. “He usually never introduces me as his friend though because no one would believe him anyway, which is understandable because who the f**k would want to be friends with a frowning stone, am I right?” Alex laughs.
The devil has friends? What a shocker.
My shoulders feel a lot less tense now and I let out a small giggle without looking at the devils face. I'm probably going to be in so much trouble later for not looking down at my feet and staying silent. But f**k that. f**k him, I like Alex and I hope he comes back here a lot more. Maybe then this place would feel a lot less bearable.
Alex’s gaze sweeps over my body and I feel my face heat up. On second thought, I hope Alex is as decent as he looks before he begins to spend more time here. Would the devil really want to share me with another man? I won’t be surprised if he does. He’s sick in every way possible.
“It’s nice to meet you Alex”, I say, trying to sound nice and not show how intimidated I feel with these two powerful and handsome men standing in the same room as I am. Another thing Papa didn’t like me doing is spending a lot of time with boys, so it’s true when the devil said that I was inexperienced and innocent because I am. I was.
“Nice to meet you too, naked Neha”, Alex smirks and I raise my eyebrows, pulling the jacket tighter around my body. The devil turns to glare at his friend, looking like he wants to spill his blood right now at this moment on his clean cream carpet. “Shut the f**k up, Alex, before I break your nose”, he says with a steel voice and Alex raises his arms in defence. “Neha, get your ass upstairs to your room and wait for me. We’ll continue what we were doing later tonight. Alex, come with me. Oh, and Neha don’t try and f*****g ask Alex to help you escape”, saying just that over his shoulders, he moves quickly out of my vision and disappears in the corner.
Alex shrugs and gives me an apologetic smile then walks away too. I want to call after him and ask if he would ever come back but by the time I open my mouth, he’s gone. I sigh and drift sadly up to my room. I try my best to not think of what would happen when the devil returns to continue from where we were, when I remove his jacket from my shoulders, I instantly miss his scent wrapped around me but the burning hatred I have for him only grows wilder. When I step into the shower for the second time tonight, to wash away the remnants of the past few hours, I begin to hate myself too.
But when my body hits the bed and my eyes close, the only one on my mind is my father and the unforgettable memories I lived with him by my side.