The next day, before she could lose her nerve, she got up early and got ready for her walk of shame. Everyone knew what had happened to her and though she was sure not all of them were actually laughing at her behind their hands, she was pretty sure the ones who weren't were pitying her, and she wasn't sure which horrified her more.
She pushed those negative thoughts aside as best she could as she drank her second cup of coffee. After rinsing the cup and putting it to drain, she headed to the bathroom to add the finishing touches to her appearance. The fact that she even cared was a good sign as far as she was concerned. It had been a while.
In her jeans that now fit a little looser around the hips, but fell just right enough to be considered fashionable, and a nice halter top she'd had stuffed into the back of her closet, promising herself she would work up the nerve to wear one night to wow Paul, she checked herself out in the mirror.
She certainly hadn't lost any weight in her upper torso. Her breasts, which had always been a source of embarrassment for her, were even more pronounced now on her much thinner frame. Whatever!
She brushed her fat curls until they fell loosely down her back and glossed her lips with her favorite cherry flavored lip-gloss. With one last twist and turn in the mirror she spritzed on some body splash from the Dollar store before grabbing her bag and heading for the door. She didn't have time for makeup, who could afford it?
She had no idea that her fresh-faced look coupled with her natural aura of innocence was like a beacon. She had second thoughts about the top and was about to go change when something stopped her. Looking down at herself she was assured that she was decent enough and she'd seen people out and about in much worse. So what the halter framed her breasts like they were an offering, and left part of her back and all of her arms exposed.
She took a deep breath and geared herself up as best she could, trying to quell the nerves that were threatening to overcome her. "Open that door Kerryanne and stop being such a freak. You can't hide in here forever." She was getting better at talking herself into action, something she'd had to learn in the last few months or she'd never get anything done.
Hopefully, today would be one of those overcast days Silver Springs was known for, and people would stay inside. Her stomach was a jumble of nerves as she turned the knob, preparing to face whatever was awaiting her out there.
The first breath of fresh air in a long time hit her and she felt sweet stirrings in her chest. Like a flower that needed sunlight to bloom, in those first few seconds she forgot everything else, but the feel of the rays on her face. There was a pep in her step as she stepped down off the three little stairs outside her apartment door.
Of course it was a clear sunny day, not a cloud in the sky. Birds chirped in trees and the early morning breeze teased the leaves as she walked by. Already, she could feel the impending heat of the coming day as she swung her bag over her shoulder and wished for invisibility. She was already losing the little spark she'd first felt.
It was only a ten-minute walk to the library, but she felt as though she was walking to the gallows. She kept her head high even though she felt as though she would throw up any minute. The little mantra she kept repeating to herself wasn't helping much, not now that she was facing the reality of maybe running into someone from her past. And let's face it, everyone here knew her in some capacity or another.
She prayed with every step that no one stopped her to ask how she was doing. More than once she almost turned and headed back to the safety of her new cave. She only closed her eyes for one second when she saw old Ms. Thompson coming out her front door.
It was just her luck that the town's busy body would be making her rounds just as she was finding her confidence. With her eyes closed she didn't see the hard body until her nose was pressed into his chest.
"Hey lady you okay?" That voice, damn. Her eyes flew open and up and she almost busted her ass on the ground as she throttled back and away to escape his warm grasp on her arms. He held on tighter.
"Sorry, I wasn't looking where I was going." Her voice was barely above a croak and she had to clear it a couple times to be understood as she kept her eyes averted.
"Sorry." She apologized again when he didn't say anything, which prompted her to look at him. She looked up at his great height, her neck straining backwards as she got caught by the stranger's eyes. She wasn't too numbed by life to admire his beauty and that was before she even had time to take in the rest of him, which she did now that she could think clearly again.
He had the most amazing silver eyes she'd ever seen. She didn't think humans had eyes that color. Maybe they were contacts, yeah that had to be it. Whatever they were they were amazing, especially with his reddish blonde hair, which he wore cut short.
His arms in the tee shirt he wore were built and covered in some kind of colorful tattoo that she now saw ran up the side of his neck.
She took it all in at a glance while the rest of her stood frozen. Something strange was going on with her respiratory system and he still hadn't spoken. Just stood there looking down at her with her arms held. Have mercy! He must've heard her silent prayer because he took it easy on her and dropped her arms.
"No problem, just be careful okay, you sure you're okay?" Something about his voice made her feel uncomfortably warm. It was smooth, deep, masterful. How the hell can you tell all that from one sentence ninny? Her inner voice was a b***h.
"Yeah, I'm fine." So why don't you put one foot in front of the other and keep it moving Kerry? He's bound to think you're nuts if you stand here ogling him. He finally released her and her breathing evened out.
She ran her eyes down the front of him and sucked in her breath when they landed on his zipper. Mother of...It moved and she squeaked.
"Babe."
She looked back up to his eyes and almost died of embarrassment; he'd caught her ogling his package. Kill me kill me now, she thought as her cheeks heated up. He had a slight smile on his face as he studied her.