I sagged against the wall of the clinic, not trusting my legs to carry me any further without collapsing into a heap on the floor.
Slowly, as though in a slow-motion video, I lifted the picture clutched tight in my left hand and stared at the black and white mass that the nurse had handed over to me after the doctor had pronounced the four words that I had not been expecting at all.
Disbelief shock and a dozen other thoughts waged a battle in my head. My most prominent thought was 'How?' How could I have gotten pregnant?
That was a silly question, really. After all, I knew all about how babies were made, I wasn't that naive. Still, it had been just the one time, my first time. One time.
A headache bloomed in my temples and I sighed and let my eyes drift shut. Unconsciously, I crumpled the paper in a tight fist, fighting the surge of tears that stung my lids. This was not the time to give in to bouts of self-pity, I had to figure out what to do, how to break the news to Aiden, and brace myself for what came after.
I heard footsteps coming towards me and I straightened, unwilling to let anyone see me in this condition. Pale, teary-eyed, shaken.
Smoothing out the ultrasound photo, I tucked it into my purse, careful that it would not fall off. A quick glance at my watch had me hurrying down the corridor towards the exit of the hospital. As I stepped outside, my phone beeped a text message from a familiar number.
Are you done?
Aiden. I quickly replied that I was done, quickening my footsteps because I knew the car would already be waiting outside and I didn’t want to keep him waiting. He was not a patient man, and I knew he had a meeting scheduled in the next hour.
I caught sight of the gleaming Mercedes already idling at the front entrance to the hospital, drawing admiring and envious gazes. Thanks to the heavily tinted windows, none of them could see the occupants of the car, but I knew Aiden would be in the back seat, watching me approach. Feeling self-conscious at all the attention, I walked up to the car just as the driver's door opened and our chauffeur.
The cause of my distraction sat at the other end of the seat, narrowed dark brown eyes, set in a face that many women and men had described as drop-dead gorgeous, was trained on me as he watched me almost lose balance and topple head first into the car.
Disapproval oozed from him in waves as he watched my blunder and my cheeks heated from embarrassment, but I managed to right myself just in time to avoid disaster, mumbling an apology that was ignored.
“Did you get the signed contract?” He asked, his voice deep, sliding over my ears like hot chocolate on a cold winter’s morning and I had to suppress the thrilling shiver that ran through me. It wouldn’t do to let him see how much everything about him affected me. Yes, I was hopelessly in love with him, but I didn’t need a fortune teller to tell me my love was neither wanted nor reciprocated.
I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded. “Yes, everything’s all set. We should be able to deliver the first batch of lab equipment by the end of the month.” I fished out my tablet and switched it on, quickly bringing up the signed contract for him to see. “Dr. Mason sends his regards as well.”
Aiden merely spared one glance at the screen and nodded. “It’s your project. You’ll be the main liaison with Vincent at the hospital. Handle it well.”
“Of course,” I murmured and slid the tablet back in my purse. My fingers brushed the edge of the damning picture that would either be the final nail in the coffin of our marriage or the start of a new beginning.
New beginnings…that was merely wishful thinking. I risked a glance at Aiden, my gaze lingering when I noticed he’d leaned back against the headrest and had his eyes shut. He wasn’t asleep, but most likely deep in thought as the car began to move smoothly. I took this rare opportunity to study him, committing every single feature on his face to memory because, who knew, the next moment, I could find myself with a broken marriage, alone, pregnant, and out of my marital home.
The thought was a knife through my chest and I forced myself to look away, turning to the window to stare at the passing scenery. I noticed then that we weren’t on the route back to the office and frowned, puzzled. Aiden had mentioned earlier that he had a shareholder meeting to attend by 2 p.m. and it was already half past one ‘o’clock. The distance from the hospital to Skylark Corp took about thirty minutes barring heavy traffic but it looked like we were headed back home instead.
I looked at Aiden again, intending to ask about our destination, but caught myself before I opened my mouth. I noticed the strained lines around the corners of his eyes, lips pressed tightly together and fell silent.
I remembered that night when he’d looked at me with something other than mild revulsion and disgust. Instead, his eyes had burned with desire, as he hovered over me, his hands braced on either side of me as I lay, bare on the desk in his study, spread out for his pleasure. The hunger in his eyes had quickly translated into heated caresses, his hands and mouth explored every inch of my body, leaving me a writhing, shivering mess. The slow, knowing smile on his face as he covered my body with his own, as his hard length slid into me in a smooth, swift move that left me gasping as he took my virginity.
He’d looked so thoroughly and devastatingly handsome and I had felt like a woman desired, lucky to be his.
Until he had whispered his mistress’ name in my ear as he reached his c****x and all my fantasies had fallen into a cold, endless depth, pain tearing through me at the realization that he had been thinking and imagining himself in her arms while he was with me.
It still hurts, even now. I mused, coming back to the present. One’s first time with their spouse should be an unforgettable and happy time. In my case, it was unforgettable, alright. I will never forget how it felt like I was eviscerated with a sharp, burning knife from top to bottom.
My thoughts wandered back to the issue of my pregnancy and how to break the news. How do I explain that the night he’d slept with me while thinking of his mistress happened to be the same night he had gotten me pregnant?
I should do it now, I reasoned silently. Rip off the bandaid and endure the pain that was sure to follow, then get on with my life. It would be better than stewing in uncertainty for god knew how long until I worked up the courage to tell him later.
“Aiden…” My palms began to sweat and I could literally hear my heart pounding in my ears. I swallowed nervously and wiped my sweaty palms on my pants.