Chapter 2 - Searching
Weakness.
Pain.
Love.
Burdens.
Loss.
Hate.
In body soul, and mind we buried these things inside each other,
And because of the diamonds, that I placed into you...you glimmered like heaven.
And when you left, I burned like hell.
Untitled – Written by CrimsonPetals
Ezekiel finally gave up on tracking Brandon after days of useless fruitless searching across the four corners of his Lands for some clue
A broken twig.
A shoe print.
Anything!
But Brandon had moved like a ghost. It was impossible to know what direction he had left from or if he was still traveling within their borders. Or if he had already broken out of the forests and disappeared up into some random mortal city or wild mountain range.
As Ezekiel finally stopped to take a breather on the morning of the third day. He concluded that he was wasting time. He’d been searching fruitlessly, mind abuzz with fear and anger over Brandon, so much so that he had been unwilling to even accept help from his brothers or cousins.
With the threat of the Elders and Dragons and Lions looming over the entire clan Ezekiel hadn’t been able to stop himself from tearing off in a wild fury searching for clues, that Brandon simply didn’t leave for him.
With a curse, the Guardian turned from the fields of the north and he made his way back into the deeps of the northern forest. Trekking barefoot and shirtless back along the dirt paths that coiled into his Lands leading him back towards the center of the Clan.
After a few hours he knew he had gotten close to the Mansion and he decided to check in with his family. Ezekiel closed his eyes and called Walter.
It was amazing that Ezekiel was able to do this at all without wasting time making a phone call...mostly because there had been a significant change in Lander since Brandon had left.
Because Lander had taken it upon himself to become the living breathing communications center for the Guardians. It was almost impossible to believe his brother who so openly despised his innate abilities had taken to using it to the benefit of them all. Lander seemed deeply affected by not only Ezekiel’s pain over the loss of his Mate.
But perhaps because Landers’ power allowed him to feel exactly what Ezekiel was feeling. The sharp pain he carried after losing his Mate. Or perhaps Lander saw this as the best way he could help to protect his family, allowing them to stay in almost constant contact seeing as the threat of attack in the last few months had only gotten more and more serious.
Now besides the times that he slept Lander had created a kind of supernatural network of thoughts better than any landline and much faster and more reliable connections in the bare and sparse forests of their lands.
Simply by letting the connections between all of the Guardian’s minds remain open nearly twenty-four hours a day they could communicate freely. It had made dealing with the current crisis more simple...a part of him didn’t know why Lander hadn’t tried to be more helpful before.
No...that’s wrong and I know it. I know how much this must be affecting him. the burden of so much cant be easy...
Ezekiel shook off the thoughtless idea he had that any of this was actually ‘simple’ for his brother at all.
The act of maintaining such an intimate and powerful innate ability for such long periods would have been mentally exhausting in ways that Ezekiel couldn’t even begin to fathom.
Privately he worried that his brother had taken on this task out of a misguided sense of responsibility for Ezekiel plus Ezekiel getting kidnapped, then for Brandon running away. Ezekiel knew that Lander took all of their safety seriously and perhaps he felt the urge to make up for his abilities not helping them avoid these painful events, but Ezekiel worried for him.
More specifically the act of carrying so much mental and emotional baggage would hurt Lander in the coming days.
But despite this understanding, Lander believed the open mental connection was necessary...especially since any minute, hour or day now the Dragons, elders, or possibly the Lions/ Alchemists could come knocking on their door.
To top it all off the mental work involved with being a walking talking cell tower for the rest of them oddly enough seemed to calm Lander down as nothing had ever calmed him before... or perhaps it just exhausted him so much that he couldn’t be a massive prick about everything?
Lander’s attitude and moodiness had taken a considerable turn for the better giving them a more solemn sibling....and with the connections as easy to use as cell phones (Painful/ Ice cold cell phones that stabbed you in the brain) all of the Guardians remained in constant communication if they had to be.
The only hang-up....was that only one person could speak to another person at one time unless that person was Lander himself.
Lander could talk to everyone at once, but everyone else needed to take turns or relay the message through Lander to the rest.
Ezekiel hissed as he glanced through a break in the tree line and spotted the silhouette of the Mansion far across the dancing slightly browning grasses of the fields.
Crisp air thundered past him whisking the sweat on his back and shoulders with a chill.
Straining to find calm and peace of mind past the high-strung irritation radiating from his Leopard inside Ezekiel eventually managed to reach out to the weak connection he felt with his brother....with a simple thought....that brought Ezekiel a considerably painful spike of cold to his brain, Ezekiel called out to Lander.
The connection was hazy like he was grasping a fluttering lost thought in his mind...then as he grew closer the connection seemed to swell and latch into him like a hook being cast into the meat of his temple. Ezekiel snarled, closed his left eye, and rubbed at his thundering skull as the unpleasant sensation dulled.
Lander...Lander Im returning. Where are you?
Ezekiel soon brushed his eldest brother’s mind with his thoughts.
Ezekiel? s**t man! Stop f*****g snarling and hissing in my damn head. What the matter with you!? In fact, why are you back so soon? You only left two days ago...did you find a lead yet? Are you ok?
Lander inquired with a voice mixed with calm annoyance and some confusion.
Ezekiel sighed and called back.
Im...sorry. Im struggling with my Leopard lately. He’s so angry and on edge...but I’m fine.
Landers Lander's clipped response was a scoff that rattled in Ezekiel’s head as he slowed to a stop so he could concentrate fully.
Ezekiel, you’re not struggling with your Leopard you're fighting with the Reaver. I can feel the vice your rage has on you and I know Brandon’s disappearance is only making things worse! s**t two days ago you weren’t this wound up in the sickness and now...well are you sure you’re going to be ok? And before you lie to me remember who you’re lying to...I’m in your head Lil Bro.
Ezekiel snapped his fangs.
I said I’m fine Lander! This isn’t about me, its Brandon I’m worried about. I can’t pick up his scent. I can’t FEEL anything but his pain and need from my connection with him. I can’t find him...I can’t help him. It’s impossible to stay calm!
Ezekiel gnashed his teeth and clenched his talons, his claws refused to shrink entirely no matter how much he tried to will them down, so he just ignored the aggravating pricks he felt as the tips pierced his skin and his belly-flopped on more irritation and rage he forced himself to ignore it.
Lander sighed.
I don’t need you to tell me. I can see your frustration. Seriously you’ve checked all sides of the forest, including the trail up into the northern Mountains and you’ve found no scent? Or even a trail of some kind? You’ve done all you could...but you still feel guilty? Why!? Brandon left of his own free will...and he made sure you couldn’t follow him. Stop agonizing over it so much bro... I want you to know it’s just driving me crazy.
Ezekiel rolled his eyes.
Oh, so it’s all about you now!?
That’s not what I said, but the less I have to deal with all your anger and guilt the better I’ll be! We need you to focus on the Clan and other bigger issues right now!
Lander rumbled back sounding less than interested, but Lander had never been good at keeping his emotions under tight wraps and Ezekiel sensed both the worry and expiration his brother was feeling for him. And about Brandon.
Ezekiel knew that Lander had the capacity to care more deeply than even he knew how to deal with and Ezekiel could sense everyone’s worry and anxiety over Brandon’s sudden departure from their Clan’s safety. Out there he could become Ghoul’s prey. Wielding the Acris or not, being a Mana User or not, Brandon was still in terrible danger and they all hated that he was beyond their reach.
Ezekiel found himself past the point of worry and feeling more resentful and terrified, but he had to deal with that every second and as much as he hated how much losing Brandon had unraveled his self-control...he couldn’t pretend like everything was okay.
Ezekiel rubbed at his eyes, the slits in his gaze itching as he fought to push away the beastly urges inside. Nonsensical urges that wanted to push him to run down a Mate he had no chance in hell of finding any time soon. His heart...no his soul ached...and he didn’t know how to make it stop.
Look I can’t just turn it off, Lander...I cant not stop being a Reaver and I can’t control how the Mate bond is affecting my sickness, but...
Ezekiel quietly confessed to his brother.
He was mine and I am his...and I want him to come home, but what I want doesn’t matter. I know that I have to stay controlled and only worry about not losing my grip on my sickness. But right now I can’t focus on always controlling myself, because he needs me to focus on him. I’ll be fine...I have to be fine. Okay...?
Lander didn’t respond, but some of the worry Ezekiel was sensing from him faded away.
With a sigh, Ezekiel turned back to the Mansion, unclenched his fists, and started walking forwards again as he changed the subject.
You read my thoughts already, you aren’t wrong. There was no Trail at either end of the Forests where I searched. Both Brandon and Ann completely masked their scent and steps as well. So I’m betting it was Ann that helped him do that, probably with Alchemy. I’ve followed him out into the southern milkweeds and wheat fields...but after that Brandon is just gone.
Ezekiel explained.
We know Ann couldn’t have taken him where he wanted to go with a Portal because she’s never been there and neither has Brandon so they left on foot. I was hoping to get a hit of their direction, but....
Well, he left a note, right? He told you not to follow him, Ezekiel. This place from his dreams he wanted to go see, the mountain we don’t know the first thing about it, besides I got the feeling that he knew what he was doing...
Lander replied
Ezekiel interrupted fiercely.
I’m not going to just abandon him!
Lander chuckled in his head. Dry and somewhat mean-spirited he laughed and offered back.
Ezekiel, you don’t even know WHAT he is. You don’t really know, how can you when Brandon didn't really have a clue himself!?
Ezekiel stood up from where he had crouched in the grasslands. He turned on his heels and strode back towards the woods.
I don’t care what he is. And neither do the rest of you. He shouldn’t have run off, he belongs here.
Ezekiel softly imparted to his sibling.
Oh! But that’s a lie... We may have welcomed him into this Clan, but that doesn’t make him a Shifter. Hes a Druid so he doesn’t belong here but hes also a Mana User so he belongs with the Alchemists too...I got to say Ol Candy Pants belongs to a lot of different people! Everyone trying to control, possess or take care of him...., especially you. It’s a wonder the man ran for the hills. Ha!
Ezekiel stopped his trek across the tall grass. He growled in his mind at his brother.
Shut up you asshole!
Lander chuckled again this time the sound seeming more human and less dead.
What? The man was like lunch meat to a bunch of hounds. Everyone wanted a piece. Everyone pulling him a thousand different directions, made me feel kinda bad for him. I bet you don’t deny it!
Ezekiel sighed as he stepped fully under the canopy of the woods. The smell of rotting pine filled his nostrils, but unlike any time before the familiar scent failed to calm his nerves.
Deny what!? Why are you tormenting me, Lander!? I know you’ve already seen how important Brandon has become to me. I know you care for him as well even a little bit....so why are you being cold now? Do you just like to fight for the hell of it?
Ezekiel told him.
Lander hissed heavily back at him.
I do see that your torn up over him Ezekiel. I can feel it too in your mind. And I do like your Mate, which is why I will advise you to stop trying to find him! Stop thinking about him! Stop trying to figure out where he’s gone. Just let him go for now. Promise me you will listen to me...just this once. Let it go...Ezekiel.
Lander told him.
In Brandon’s case, being lost might just be better for him, lost and never found. Besides...as of a few hours ago his true fate is beyond your control...you need to accept that.
Now, what the hell is that supposed to mean!? Beyond my control? Tell me where you are Lander so we can talk...This telepathy s**t is hurting my brain.
Ezekiel said back not comprehending.
Lander rumbled in silence seeming to hesitate....then in a dead voice, he started to report.
Look Ezekiel it wasn’t my idea, but we know how upset you were already and....We kind of hid something from you because we didn’t want to worry you, but now it’s time you knew. They arrived the day after you left to find clues about where Brandon went. Come to the house now. Dont ask me to explain...You will understand everything once you arrive. We are in a Meeting and for the love of god...put all thought or mention of Brandon out of your mind when you get here. For his safety...
Lander told him hesitating for a few moments before he included.
What’s happening Lander your acting strange? Who are they!!?
Ezekiel began.
He couldn’t just ignore that Brandon had disappeared. Ezekiel knew he didn’t want to be followed, but....what did he hope to find out there alone?
Stop bitching over him and hurry up!
Lander barked at him then cut the connection completely and refused to speak with Ezekiel anymore.
But!.... f**k!
Ezekiel felt fury pour across his chest as the connection to Lander was abruptly ended leaving his head aching slightly and his thoughts swirling with confusion. Unable to grasp any understanding he hissed angrily and with little hesitation Ezekiel finally let the Shift take him over. It was almost too easy to slide into that skin, to let the Leopard run hard and fast. He needed the break from the anxiety he felt as a man.
When he came out of the woods and padded up to the open gate of the Mansion, he spotted the smoke rising from the chimneys of the log cabins far away, in the Western village.
Ezekiel prowled through the open field next to the front patio. Closed Lilly’s and slowly drying verdant grass tangled in the breeze. Though the leopard would have normally stopped to scent mark and rub its self against the posts of his home tonight the leopard stalked straight to the door. As he came to his front porch, the leopard once more surrendered control.
Fur wilted away into cloth, and joints and bones shifted. Teeth and eyes shrunk and Ezekiel was standing in his mortal flesh once more. Then with some trepidation, the Guardian began to ascend the steps to the entrance. He felt unease as he went which was compounded by his somber thoughts.
It was nearly impossible not to go somewhere in his home or around it and not think about Brandon.
Even simply looking at the Porch was enough to remind Ezekiel of the first time that Brandon had kissed him. The first time the Druid had openly wanted him back.
It was the first night of the Clan Celebration.
With the smoky heat of barbeque sauce on their tongues and the heady buzz of Sunset in their systems, Brandon had pushed him up against the wall beside the door in the darkness and stolen a sweet sensual kiss. The urge to see him or touch him was a painful squeeze on his heart as Ezekiel pushed the memory away.
In its place rose the painful cutting burning sensation of feeling Brandon’s painful power sapping his energy, driving him into
unconscious agony as the Druid attacked him.
The beast in him, his leopard seemed to mewl and cry out, its sorrow chiming through Ezekiel like a knife through butter, nearly making him shudder to realize just how disturbed he and his Leopard were by Brandon’s actions against them. The unspoken sorrow that swirled in both of their souls that their Mate had hurt them.
He was just scared. He didn’t know what his actions could mean...he didn't mean to hurt you...
Ezkeiel offered to his beast, hoping half-heartedly to convince himself of his own words. The Shifter touched his heart feeling the pangs of disquiet inside as his agitated other side clambered around inside of his soul in distraught.
Listen to me! Brandon didn’t mean to hurt us... I know it!
But his Leopard just continued to yawl at the painful memory....at the actions of their Mate that felt intensely close to a rejection. A rejection of the Mate Bond.
In fact any sane shifter would have taken being attacked and left behind by their Mate as a clear rejection that couldn’t be denied...and yet Ezkeiel didn't want to let that harsh reality become his truth. The truth he had feared all of his life as a Reaver having been shunned by so so many.
The reality was that his Mate didn’t want him. That just as all others had before him Brandon had turned away from the diseased dangerous Reaver and left him to die alone...and that Ezekiel had been a fool to trust that anyone could love a sickly beast like him.
Painful and resentful thoughts tested his mind making Ezekiel glad that he hadn’t made a true fool of himself on the night of the Rite and tried to seal the Mate Bond with a man who didn't want him. A man who shouldn't have wanted him to begin with.
And yet somehow it was also the thoughts of Brandon kissing him, caressing and smiling at him in their passionate moments, his alluring gossamer eyes gleaming with need and love that made Ezekiel hate himself for not telling Brandon about their true connection.
And it was these memories that pushed away the resentment of being betrayed and abandoned and hurt. It was these memories that gave Ezekiel and his forlorn beast hope that their Mate hadn’t rejected them after all....and that even though Brandon left him behind the Druid still loved him. And would accept the Reaver as his Mate.
Struggling to keep his mind on anything except for Brandon Ezekiel marched into the front parlor letting the door close behind him.
He shook any grasses off himself as he walked past the stairs, turned to the right and followed that hallway to the meeting hall. His senses picked up the squabble of voices he both recognized and didn’t. The large wooden doors were wide open and as he came further into the room he soon spotted his Mother, Father, and all of his Brothers sitting on one side of the meeting table.
Sitting opposite his family was a group of five people that Ezekiel had never seen before. But even though he couldn’t place even one of the stranger’s faces Ezekiel instantly recognized their scents.
They were Shifters.
Lion Shifters.