The Voice Of My Dark Angel Book 1 Angels of the Apocalypse

4: Keep Breathing

The conversation with the Demon had been disturbing, in more ways than one. I spent the afternoon in ‘my’ room, only coming out when the Demon called me for dinner. A dinner which ended up being mostly silent, each of us lost in our own thoughts. I slurped vegetable soup and once finished, went back to the room and collapsed on the bed, feeling the weight of the world drag me down.

“Analise.” I muttered sleepily. “Please be safe.” A single tear crept down my cheek, and the world faded out until the next morning.

The Hell Hound’s breath hot on my neck, stirring my hair. It chased me through the store, but our surroundings changed. Suddenly, I was in the Colony again, and trying to escape, but I couldn’t get away. And the hot breath was no longer that of a Hell Hound’s, but that of four men.

“Wake, you’re safe now. Wake.” The voice called me from the nightmare and I reached for it. That sinfully delicious voice that sent shivers down my spine. I didn’t realize I had actually reached for him, nor that I was sobbing in his arms until the rocking stopped. “Are you ok now?” He asked quietly and I nodded against his chest, afraid to move.

“I won’t.. Hurt you, you know?” He muttered, his chin brushing the top of my head. “At least not intentionally. But you must trust me, and I fear that is something you’ll never do.”

“What do you want from me?” I mumbled against the soft silk of his shirt. He sighed.

“I told you before. I was lonely. You seemed.. To feel that too, and I thought.. Well, I’m not sure what I thought other than I hoped you lived, really. But I just wanted companionship. You were out there on your own, and I have this place. It’s safe..” He trailed off.

“So I’m a pet?” I still hadn’t pushed away from his embrace. For some reason, despite his home being cool, his skin was warm. Deliciously so. I wanted to snuggle into it, but held still, letting him hold me. He guffawed.

“Well, I had hoped for more than that. There are plenty of stray animals now if I simply wanted to domesticate a pet.” He made it sound insulting to me somehow. Like I needed domesticating. It was almost enough to make me shove away from him. Almost. I was just so tired. My whole life, or at least fifteen years of it, I’d been tired. And now.. It was like resting in the arms of clouds and sunshine. I just couldn’t forget these clouds had teeth.

“Go back to sleep, if you’d like.” He murmured in that delicious voice, stroking my hair. I reminded myself that his whole appearance, his whole attitude was a trap, designed to lure humans in. But that didn’t matter to my exhaustion, and I found my eyes closing as the first fat drops of heavy rain beat against the bedroom window, lulling me further to sleep. The safety and warmth might have been illusions, but I suddenly couldn’t care less.

It was still raining when I woke up again. To my complete shock, the Demon was still wrapped around me on the bed. My head whipped back, but I froze, afraid he may lash out unconsciously if I were to struggle.

His eyes were closed as if in sleep, and all of his hair, at least that was visible, was platinum blond, almost silvery white. Even his brows and lashes, and those, how enviable they were. Women the world over would pay for those long, full lashes that brushed his cheeks in sleep. His brows were perfectly shaped and formed, thick enough to be masculine, but somehow still enough to make me jealous. His hair was beautifully mussed, his lips just full enough to be inviting, straddling that line of feminine. His perfectly shaped nose was straight and evenly balanced with his other features. Cheeks and jaw not too angular nor round, just that perfection, again. He had flawless skin.

I wanted to punch him in his perfect face.

The vitriol behind the thought surprised me, and I sat back mentally, to think about it. Physically, I was still being held against the Demon’s warm chest, and had begun to realize the iron grip he had around me.

I mean, I understood my hatred of Demons. Even the simmering hatred of people I had developed. But this seemed almost personal, and almost solely based on appearance. Even taking into consideration his words and not trusting him yet, the reaction was a bit severe-

“Are you done staring at me yet?” He exhaled slowly, as if afraid of startling me himself. I jerked back anyway, and just as I feared, his grip tightened. “Careful, you’ll fall.” He opened clear golden eyes and motioned with his chin behind me. I craned my head around and saw I was indeed pretty close to the edge of the bed.

“Damn.” I cursed, as he slowly rolled over, tugging me by the arm so I could sit up as he sat on the edge of the bed himself.

“I apologize for still being here. I tried to leave, but your nightmares resumed, and it was.. Troublesome to hear you crying.” He wasn’t looking at me, so why did I get the impression that there was more meaning behind what he was saying than what I understood?

“I..don’t remember that.” I answered honestly. The night had become one awful blur filled with terror and then warmth.

“I.. ‘ate’ your memories.” The set of his shoulders became so tense you could break stone on them.

“You did what now?” I tried to modulate my voice, but it was still almost a shriek. His shoulders tensed further.

“I consumed your memories of the night, or more specifically, of the nightmares. It’s a sort of energy exchange that-”

I leapt off the bed and backed into a corner. If he could manipulate my mind so easily, there was no telling what he could do or have done to me without my knowledge or permission. His shoulders slumped..

“It’s truly no use, is it?” It was said so softly, I had to step from my corner to hear. “You will always fear me.” He stood abruptly and left the room, leaving me to stare after him in shock.

I didn’t leave my room the rest of that day, or the next, but fresh changes of clothes and food arrived promptly at the door, along with a note inviting me to use the master bath for a shower or bath, if desired, instead of the small attached half bath to my room. Of course he had hot water, he had functioning plumbing and electricity after all..

In all the commotion, I hadn’t forgotten Analise. I just didn’t know how to go about finding her. I wasn't even sure where I was after getting a good look outside. I would need help to get back to the store to even start looking for her, and the longer that took-

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll go alone if I have to.” I muttered to myself.

I was attempting to sneak out for a bath when the Demon finally caught me. For several seconds, we just stared at each other.

“The memories you ate-is that going to do any damage?” I blurted. Yes, I’m always this subtle and elegant.

“To you or to me?” He asked curiously, c*****g his head to the side. I blinked. I hadn’t considered that they might damage him.

“Why would you eat them if they would hurt you?” The words popped from me just as carelessly. His eyes melted to gold, his hair changed to a fiery red, a color I hadn’t seen before, then melted back into platinum.

“To spare you pain, because I was hungry, who knows, right?” He shrugged carelessly, but there was definitely hurt hiding in his expression. My mind reeled. Was this all a careful manipulation by a Demon? Or had his feelings actually been hurt? Did Demons have feels? My hands found their way into my hair and I clutched my head tight until gentle fingers pried them free.

“Hey, hey..” That heavenly voice soothed. My whole body relaxed slowly. “There won’t be any lasting damage to your mind. It’s an exchange. In order to take, I had to give. I took your pain and offered comfort. That’s where the idea of a ‘contract’ came from with our kind. It’s always a two-way street with us. As far as for me-” He shrugged. “I’m used to pain.” He shrugged again. His hands were still on my wrists rubbing soothing circles on the insides. A warmth started to spread through my body, causing me to squirm.

“You’re doing it again, aren’t you?” I gasped, and tried to pull away. “You said you were hungry-are you.. Are you feeding off me?” I wrenched my arm free and his face contorted. I realized about two seconds later that he was feeling my pain for me when it slammed through my nervous system. He was strong, so much stronger than I anticipated, and I’d used all my strength. My wrist had popped, but I hadn’t felt it, until now.

I gasped and slid down the wall, clutching my wrist as he freed my other hand. He crouched in front of me, several feet away.

“I can heal that. Please let me fix it. It’s my fault you’re injured.” He murmured.

“Why?” I panted. “Does that feed you too?” He grimaced as if the vile words I had spoken tasted bad in his own mouth.

“No. Healing takes from me. In essence, if you want to put it that way, I would be ‘feeding’ you.” He responded and I recoiled.

“Why would you do that?” It horrified me in more ways than one. Did that mean I had bits of Demon inside me? Did that mean I would become one? He sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Your panic is overwhelming.” He mumbled, which made me scramble even further away.

“You can feel that?” I cried, and he looked at me, no, through me, with those golden eyes.

“Intimately. Let me help you, please. I have no intentions of harming you. I promise. You’re the first person I’ve had to talk to in years. I’d like to keep you around for a while.” He offered me a crooked grin, but my heart sank.

Analise.

The Demon had taken my moment of silence to shuffle closer. He held out his hand, and I took the moment to burst out with the other question that had been bothering me.

“Why don’t you ever use your Demon form?” I couldn’t help myself. While all Demons were capable of the ‘beautiful human’ disguise, almost all were some form of nightmare monster fuel.

“Maybe this IS my Demon form.” He teased, reaching for my arm. Even though the words were discomfiting, his voice sent a pleasant shudder down my spine. I felt a calming aura and realized he must be bleeding off my panic feeding off me. I shuddered.

“Really?” I asked.

“Not all of us are monsters, you know.” He responded idly.

“Really?” I repeated incredulously.

“No. My Demon Form is large and terrifying, and I prefer not to use it on this plane. I was one of the originals who were sent here to sort of ‘investigate’ humanity so to speak, and being here, in this form, just became a habit that I never lost I guess.” He gently turned my wrist over and there was warmth that turned to almost unbearable heat. “Just bear with it a moment.” He murmured, and with almost an audible sound, the pain leached out of me and my body relaxed. I sagged forward, unable to help myself.

“Side effect of the healing, I’m afraid. I’ll have to use your body’s own processes to heal you, and it can be exhausting. Did you still want that bath?” I didn’t even ask him how he knew, just nodded my head against his chest as he caught me and scooped me up.

He carried me down the hall and opened the door to a ridiculously large bathroom with a built-in shower made to resemble a waterfall, half inside and half outside the building. Plants had grown up all around the transparent walls looking out, and the skylight had fallen through at some point, but it just somehow fit the theme even more. Ignoring the constantly cycling waterfall shower, the Demon walked to the other side of the room and sat me on the edge of a large tub, then began turning knobs until the tub began to fill with clean, warm water.

Turning back to me, he reached for the hem of my shirt, but I shrank away slightly, clutching the tub’s edge so I wouldn’t over-balance. The Demon huffed and met my gaze.

“Unless you have the energy to do this on your own…” He offered. I blanched. About that, he was right. I was so drained, I felt like if I closed my eyes I might topple into the tub of water. And maybe drown.

“I’ve already seen you naked, to heal you the first time. Then to clean you up and change your clothes-”

“Ok, I got it! That doesn’t make it any better!” I exclaimed, and forced myself to relax my muscles slightly, allowing him to get a grip on the hem of my shirt when he reached for it the next time. Cautiously, he raised my shirt, tugging it up over my belly and breasts before pausing.

“Arms.” He stated simply, and with embarrassment, I raised them like a child. They trembled, and I was glad when the shirt came free and I could let them fall at my sides. I didn’t even have the strength to cover myself, so I avoided looking at the Demon as he reached for the button on my jeans. He seemed to be moving in slow motion, maybe so he wouldn’t scare me. The button popped free, the zipper slowly lowered, and then he looked at my face, though I was still avoiding his eyes. “Can you stand?” He asked, and it was a valid enough question, but it still sent a shiver down my spine. Combined with my exhaustion, I wasn’t sure if I could myself. Placing my hands on his shoulders, he tugged me by the hips, helping me upright, and leaving himself nearly eye-level with my navel. He placed a warm hand on my back, which made me jolt, then tugged at the denim material, sliding it down over my hips and thighs. Guiding me back down to sit on the side of the tub, he slid the jeans off one leg, then the other. With a flushed face, I tried to keep my legs together as much as possible.

The water in the tub was several inches deep by now, and with no effort at all, the Demon picked me up and set me inside. I protested as he rolled up his sleeves and grabbed a cloth, soap, shampoo and conditioner.

“Again-are you going to do it? You could barely hold up your arms to remove your shirt a second ago. I was holding you up while you were standing. Please.” I couldn’t tell if his last ‘please’ was sarcastic or not, but had to concede the point when I reached for the cloth with a shaking hand that missed its goal and became too heavy to support itself seconds later. I collapsed back against the edge of the tub, eyes sliding half-closed and wished that his silky voice wasn’t so attractive to me, especially right now, while I felt so vulnerable.

“I’m just..so tired.” I whispered.

“I know.” The Demon answered, and I realized, he probably did. I also realized the exhaustion wasn’t just physical, it was mental as well. Psychological. Years deep.

I’d been running all of my life. Still was, even though my body was currently trapped in one spot, my mind still raced, trying to find a way to escape, to sneak away. And suddenly.. Suddenly I was just tired of it all. I slumped further in the tub and the Demon gave a surprised shout, banding an arm around my ribs to hold me up. I barely noticed. Just as I hardly noticed when he soaped the cloth and began to wipe my face gently or how delicately he washed my body, running the cloth even between fingers and toes. Detachedly washing breasts, between my thighs, all of me. It wasn’t until his fingers dug into my hair and my muscles truly relaxed with the scent of some flower and spice that I suddenly took notice. And that was only because I’d moaned, and when I did that, he froze.

Letting my head rest on the tub edge, he met my gaze, his eyes completely golden as he looked at me upside-down.

“Did I.. hurt you?” He murmured.

“Uh-uh.” I tried to shake my head, but it just wasn’t cooperating. “Feelsgood.” I ran the words together. “Sorry.” His eyes turned an even more liquid gold, pupils blowing from slits to encompass most of his eyes, then shrinking back.

“Oh. Ok. Can I.. continue?” He questioned cautiously, and I dipped my chin as much as possible. He nodded in return and continued digging his fingertips into my scalp, watching my expression carefully, almost..ravenously.

I closed my eyes, afraid of that hungry look, but unable and unwilling to pull away from the strong, comforting touch in my hair. Another small moan escaped me, and the Demon’s finger paused, but only momentarily this time, before continuing on. He then moved on to rinsing out the shampoo and gently massaging the conditioner through the strands.

His touch was gentle, but it was enough to give me shivers, regardless. Particularly when his hands began to knead the knotted muscles at the base of my neck. My whole body shuddered and a small gasp escaped me. There was an answering growl from behind me and I turned my head to see those golden eyes watching me carefully. Sharp teeth were bared in an inhuman snarl, and the overall expression made me shudder harder. Letting his hands slide down my spine and causing me to jolt forward in shock, the Demon released another growl. It reverberated through the room, and in particular through me. I was afraid to look over my shoulder again.

Was this it? Was this the moment he finally consumed me?

Instead, strong, nimble fingers rubbed at my tense shoulders until they relaxed, dropping down and away from my ears. I suppressed the noise of relief I wanted to make as those magnificent fingers worked their way to my shoulder blades, pressing out tension and working out knots that I had scarcely been aware of.

By increments, I relaxed, leaning forward, his hands working further down my back until they hesitated just above my rear.

“I will never do anything you don’t want me to.” He murmured softly, and with that, he began rinsing the conditioner from my hair. Part of me was suddenly disappointed, even as his hand settled on my hip to help me stand. I wanted his fingers to slip between my thighs, I wanted him to find out that the bath wasn’t the only reason I was wet.. I shook my head.

Once again, he was all business as he helped me towel off, wrapped a dry robe around me and scooped me off my feet to carry me to my room. The last thing I remembered clearly was being tucked in with a gentle kiss to my forehead, so it shocked the Hell out of me to wake up outside.