His and Only His (mature +18)

Ch 2: Shame and Double Shame

The gentle green eyes boring into hers were filled with so much love, she started to feel a lump forming in her throat. Jeremy was so good to her. She felt like she didn't deserve him sometimes.

He leaned in ever so slowly, giving her time to back away should she not share his desire, and then he finally kissed her. They had been on yet another date that evening – their fourth as a matter of fact – and it was, to her pleasure, not the usual peck she got but a real kiss. They were standing in front of her house, lost in each other, oblivious to the world, and it was all she could not to moan as his tongue first came in contact with hers.

She opened her eyes when they came up for air, a beautifully shy smile adorning her lips, and then she sucked in a startled breath. For a brief a moment, the blond hair had turned black, the green eyes had turned gray, and the sweet eighteen year old had turned twenty seven. To say she was ashamed to be picturing Lucas when she finally had her first French kiss would not cover the half of it.

She was mortified.

Thankfully, her eyes had barely widened upon seeing that deliciously forbidden vision of her stepbrother. It had been almost imperceptible and she had gotten her wits together quickly enough, making it impossible for her date to notice anything.

“Do you wanna be my girlfriend, Jen?” He took a deep breath, hope filling him, and yet bracing himself for a rejection.

She nodded, smiling at him, tears of shame filling her light brown eyes.

“Why the tears?” He wiped one of the rebels that hadn't enjoyed being held back.

“I'm so happy you've asked me,” she was merely stating a fact, and by no means answering his question… but he didn't know that, and her shame doubled. She felt like such a hypocrite sometimes.

He was elated to say the least. Jennifer was not like any girl he had met, and he was happy beyond words to be her first boyfriend. The smile his features broke into made her feel slightly guilty for, even though she did like him, care for him even, she had yet to feel for him as deeply as she used to for her stepbrother.

“Well,” he straightened up, having had to bow his head to kiss her, “I guess, I'll see you on Saturday.”

“Can't wait,” was her sincere reply.

There was a little bit of je-ne-sais-quoi in his step as he went to his small Chevy, and she smiled at that. She had made the right choice. Jeremy obviously had strong feelings for her, and she was certain that with time she, too, would grow to love him. He was devilishly charming, absurdly cute and the very definition of a gentleman. What was there not to love?

Lucas could only be forgotten. He had to be if she wanted to have a shot at a normal romance – and boy did she want that!

Nevertheless, when the darkness claimed her at night, the eyes haunting her dreams had been a stormy gray.