The Beast Within

Chapter 1

Chapter 1

“Hey, where you headed now?”

Gary looked over his shoulder and gave a hint of a smile. “Nowhere, everywhere. Hell if I know. Just away from here.”

“Come on, Gary, it’s not so bad.” Devin walked quickly toward him, hand held out. “Stick around and unwind.”

Gary glanced down at the hand then up at Devin again. “Dance? That does nothing for me.”

“So we do something else.” Devin let his hand drop down to his side again. He was tempted to turn and go back to the dance floor. To find someone else and sate his need to wipe away the last month. But…He bit his lip. “Come on, just one dance?”

“What would that accomplish? It’s over, done, finito. No more games, Devin. You’ve changed and it’s…not working anymore.” With that said, Gary walked quickly out of the club.

Devin watched him go and felt empty inside. When someone touched his shoulder he spun around then smiled bitterly. “If you’re here to watch the meltdown it’s not happening.”

Vanni chuckled softly. “Of course it’s not. He’s not worth it. Come, let me help you forget him.” He held out his hand and Devin took it.

The lights, the mass of humanity on the dance floor, the throb of the music, all began to work their magic and soon Devin was lost in a world beyond reality. Faces spun by until they blurred into one, known and unfamiliar at the same moment. Hot bodies, lathered in sweat, glistened eerily under the flashing lights as they moved chaotically to the sounds of frenetic instruments.

Vanni held him tightly while he wove an erotic spell around Devin that only heightened the other sensations. Desire swelled within him just as his c**k swelled beneath the tightness of his jeans. He needed…he needed…

“No!” Devin broke free, his eyes wild. They glistened green and red and gold as the multi-colored pulsating beams flashed over them.

“Devin!” Vanni said sharply.

“I can’t…I need…” Devin spun around to thread his way erratically through the whirling bodies to the door. As he got to the door he glanced back to see Vanni watching him, his face devoid of emotion before he turned away.

Probably looking for the next man willing to dance with him, Devin thought in disgust.

* * * *

Gary was tense and angry when he left the club, although he had done his best to keep the anger hidden from Devin. He was quite certain he probably hadn’t succeeded. The club seemed to accentuate any emotions he felt, be they lust, love, or just plain aggravation. When all three were present he had difficulty handling them.

Tonight that had most definitely been the case. Going there had been a huge mistake but he had needed one more chance to try to get through to Devin, though why he had felt the club could be the place to work out their problems was beyond him now that he thought about it.

Devin had always been somewhat erratic; his moods could swing back and forth at the drop of a hat. Recently, however, that had become much worse. Gary never knew from one day to the next whether he would be dealing with the sweet, loving man he had met three years ago or the tension-ridden b***h Devin seemed to turn into more and more often these days.

I wish to hell I knew what to do about you, Dev, Gary thought somewhat morosely as he made his way through the parking lot at the side of the club. “And why the hell did I park in the dark?” he muttered when he realized the lights barely reached the back of the lot. He had just unlocked the door when he thought he heard something in the trees that bordered the lot. Quickly he got in, turned the headlights on then shook his head when he saw a cat’s gleaming eyes before the animal beat a fast retreat. “I probably scared you as badly as you did me,” he muttered in wry amusement.

At loose ends now and not wanting to go back to his empty apartment, he pulled out onto the street to head away from the heart of the city. When he reached the river road he felt his depression and anger begin to wane as the cool air blew in through the open windows. Within minutes he was at his favorite spot and pulled off the highway to park on the verge. A few yards away through the trees he could see the river, dark and mysterious, the lights of a few houses adding glitter to its surface.

He walked silently through the trees, the sound of the river now louder than the noise of the traffic behind him, which was just how he liked it. When he reached the edge he stood, hands loose at his sides as he breathed in the slightly dank, fishy smell that assaulted his nostrils. It reminded him of the lake where he’d grown up. One of the reasons he came here; it brought back memories of a kinder, gentler time before things had skewed sideways in his life.

As he pondered this, a night heron appeared, swooping down to land at the river’s edge. There it stood, so still that if he hadn’t seen its arrival Gary might have missed it. He stepped back, careful not to disturb the bird, then sank down to his knees to watch it. And so the two of them remained until Gary’s knees began to ache and his eyes blurred from tiredness. He eased back until he sat, arms wrapped around his legs, and drifted off into a light doze.

* * * *

Vanni rose from his knees to wipe a hand across his mouth. The man in front of him put his now flaccid c**k back into his jeans after stripping off the condom, which he tied off, dropped into the john, and flushed. Money exchanged hands then the man left. Vanni counted it quickly, put it in his pocket, and returned to the dance floor. Arms crossed, he leaned back against the wall to observe the dwindling crowd.

Some nights it doesn’t pay to get out of bed, he thought angrily. First Devin had walked away for no reason at all, then one of the men he’d hooked up with had stiffed him, daring him to do anything about it. He scrubbed his hand across his eyes as he pushed off the wall. One good, strong drink and he’d be out of there.

When he arrived at the bar he found a whiskey on the rocks sitting in front of him.

“I could tell you needed this,” the tender said when Vanni c****d his eyebrows in surprise.

“Yeah, I do.” He tossed back half of it before he set the glass down.

“Vanni, when are you going to give up this life and let me take care of you?”

“Hell Mitch, how ‘bout yesterday,” Vanni retorted with a chuckle. It was a running joke with them since Mitch was about as straight as they came with a wife and two kids at home.

“I’ll dump Beth and we’ll run away to LA.”

“As in the city or the state?”

Mitch laughed. “Does it matter?”

“Naw, not really.” Vanni finished his drink, his mood darkening again despite their joking. He dropped some cash on the bar and stood to take one last look around. The man who’d stiffed him a couple of hours earlier was on his way out the door, his arm around a twink who looked all of eighteen at best. “Good luck, kid,” Vanni muttered. Two minutes later he left too, but out the back door. Once in his car he debated what to do next. He could just go home and crash, that would be the smart move, but he was still too juiced up and pissed off. There was one cure for that so he pulled out of the lot and drove as fast as the law allowed until he reached the highway heading north.

Not too much later he swerved off the highway into a small parking lot. After he’d checked himself in the rearview mirror to make certain his mood didn’t show on his face, he snagged the blunt he’d rolled earlier from its hiding place and stepped out of the car.

“Fun time,” he murmured under his breath as he lit the blunt and headed to his destination.