Never Meant to fall in love

“Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” ― William Jennings Bryan Marie POV Have you ever wonder how the f**k this one mother fucker can ruin your entire life. Like I had goals and dreams of being something. I wanted to do more s**t then just sit here and take no bullshit from anyone but no, the f*****g universe has a weird and cruel way of f*****g everything up. I guess you are wondering what I am talking about. Well, I would have to start 6  months ago and how this s**t came to be. You wonder how the f**k I ended up in Denver and all this s**t happened. Here I am running from a guy who I thought was f*****g dead and this guy who I never thought I was going to fall in love with. Who is getting ready to start a f*****g bloody war for myself and my child?  s**t, Well if I told you, you wouldn’t believe me. I don't believe this s**t myself either.  6 months ago I sat there waiting for him to come home. I was thinking to myself is he ready for kids? Am I ready for kids? I always wanted to be a mom but not with him. Tonight I originally planned to leave his funky ass. I sat there with a pregnancy stick in hands, trying to figure out how the f**k did I get myself pregnant by him. Tonight I was going to break off the engagement with kyle. More as f*****g leaving my engagement ring on the bathroom and f*****g room from this hell hole that I got myself in. Don't get me wrong, lance and I have had our good moments but f*****g I cant deal with this s**t anymore.  Kyle and I dated for almost 2 years of my life. He was what every woman wants. He was charming, loving, made me feel safe, made me laugh, and all in all he was a gentleman. Kyle was a mixed boy who I deeply and madly fell in love with. But boy was I f*****g wrong. After we moved into together, he started with that little s**t that I just thought it was nothing. It was you were getting a little fat or little s**t like that. At first, I just brushed that s**t off but I shouldn't. I should have walked away from that s**t. I should have listened to my gut insect but I kept on making excuses on how no one is ever going to love me like the way that he loves me or I shouldn't have made him mad. I know what you are saying that I was crazy for staying with him but I truly did love him. I digress though. Where was I?... oh yes,  6 months ago I was sitting there waiting for him to come home. I found out that I was pregnant. I was nervous as f**k to tell him that I was pregnant and I didn't know how the f**k he would react to him.  I heard the door unlocked and I looked up at him. He looked pissed and by reading him, I know that s**t wasn't going to go well. I texted Lexus earlier to call the cops if she didn't hear from me within the next 5 minutes. She agreed and told me that she was also on her way. That's one thing that I always loved about Lexus. She was always that friend who was your ride or die type of friend that I always want to hold deeply. And forever keep.  As I was saying, Kyle walked in the door that was in our apartment. He saw how he looked and he didn't look happy the f**k at all and I f*****g know that I should be used to it by know but f**k am I losing my f*****g nerves right now. “Where the f**k is my dinner,” he says starting to get pissed off. I flinched as he said that s**t. “You useless fat piece of s**t. I bet you f*****g ate all that s**t didn't you.”    I shook my head no. How the f**k am I supposed to answer that. How f*****g useless am I? But I am a weak ass b***h who doesn't know how to stand up for myself. How can I come up and tell him that I was going to have his child and f*****g leave him? Because I am a no-good useless person, I got him his f*****g dinner. How f*****g pathetic am I right? This is supposed to be my moment to tell him that I want to leave him and that I wanted to take our unborn child with me. Once I brought him his dinner and he seemed to calm down a bit. So I built up the courage to tell him that I was pregnant. Lord knows how f*****g scared I was. “Kyle,” I said in a whisper. He looked at me in utter disgust. He gave me that look of why the f**k am I talking to him.  “I have something important that I need to tell you.” “What is it?” he seemed to start getting annoyed all over again. Possibly I won't tell him that I am leaving him.  “I-I am pregnant,” I said as quickly as I could. It was like my mouth had its mind of its own. “And I am keeping the baby.” “You said you're what? I don't think I f*****g heard you correctly. It sounded like you said that you were pregnant and you are keeping that piece of shit.” I started to nod my head quickly, and I blurted something that I thought that I didn’t imagine that I was going to say at all, “I-I am leaving you.” The next thing I know was that I am on the floor hoping that someone or anyone could come and save me. But some miracles do happen. I heard a voice calling out for me to move. It was getting louder and louder. “I need you to f*****g run,” Lexus said. I looked up at her, trying to hold my s**t together, but I couldn’t. I was terrified. Lexus was blocking the view of his body.  Till this day. I owe my life to Lexus. She was the one who saved me and I will forever be grateful to it.