When The Rain Stops

Prologue “What about us?! Aren’t you ashamed of your daughter? Aren’t you thinking about Amy?” “I’m sorry. I—“ “No! You’ve been saying sorry for years but nothing has changed. Hindi pa ba kami sapat ng anak mo?” “I love you and our daughter. But I also love her.” “No, you don’t.” I dragged my luggage near the door after packing everything I need for tomorrow. All I can hear are their shouts and arguments, again. Every time my mother finds out, they will argue at night when they think I’m already asleep, but no, I always stay up late and their voices are keeping me up as well. Mom thinks I don’t know what my father has been doing, but I know. I saw him with his mistress, not just once, not just twice, but I lost count of it. I did not tell mom because I know that she doesn’t want me to know about it and lose my respect to Dad, but eventually I still found out. She knew. For years, she’s been putting up with my father’s bullsh-t. Why? It’s because she loves him. Yeah. Love. That foolish thing called ‘love’. Love has the power to build someone and something, but it also has the capacity to ruin everything. When you love, you put trust with it, and one mistake can make that crumble along with your life. When you engage in it, you will always find yourself hanging on a thin thread. You are always on guard, always on the risk of danger— your heart and mind I mean. Love? I am not sure what it is. But I define it as a trap that fools and brings pain to a person who dives into it. It is a fire that attracts and fools every moth around it. Its flame mesmerizes you with its dance and brightness, it shows you beauty and gives you warmth, it makes you think that it is all that you need, but in reality, it is just a dangerous trap that awaits for its prey. And if you are not strong enough to resist it, you will burn yourself along with its mighty flames. Tomorrow, I will enter college and prepare for the real world out there. I had my plans laid out already and all I need is to follow that to be fine. No mistakes, no detours, no distractions, I can’t afford to have something to ruin my plans. That’s all I need to live, to be happy, it is to only follow my dreams. College – Diploma – RN – License – Work Experience – Canada One thing I know that will be a huge threat in achieving my dreams and happiness is love. We are all vulnerable to it but I refuse to be one of its victims. No. Not me. I’ve seen enough of its effect on a person, and I don’t want to experience it. Pain. That’s all it brought to this family. Love built this but it ruined it in the end. So who cares about having a temporary happiness provided by love if its cost is a permanent damage to a person? Love doesn’t give a free service of spreading happiness. Everything has its own price. Love will make you feel giddy, excited, happy, then you commit, and trust, love will make you feel as if you are the luckiest and happiest person alive in the universe, but those are just in the beginning, because in the end, it will hunt you to collect the price of the ‘fun moments’ you had. And do you know what the price is? Pain. The price is pain. And I don’t want it. That’s why it is not included in my plan or a possibility because I know that I will never fall into it and be a fool to dive in that fire. My dreams, that’s all I want, that’s all I need. Nothing else. --- Malakas ang buhos ng ulan sa araw na iyon. Halos hindi makita ang daan sa kalsada dahil sa mabilis at mabigat na patak ng ulan at bugso ng hangin, ngunit wala namang nabanggit sa balita na may paparating na bagyo. Habang nagmamaneho ay napansin niya sa tabi ng daan ang mga taong naguunahan na makasilong at ang iba ay mga nakapayong. "Another day in the hospital" saad niya sa sarili at napabuntong hininga sapagkat talaga namang halos walang pahinga ang mga doctors at nurses sa mga hospital natin dito sa bansa dahil na rin sa kakulangan ng staff at sa dami ng mga pasyente na dumadalaw rito araw-araw. Hindi naman siya nagrereklamo sapagkat ito ang pinili niyang propesyon ngunit umaasa lamang siya na sana mapabuti na ang healthcare system ng bansa at matrato ng maayos at mabigyan ng sapat na benepisyo ang mga healthcare workers. When he arrived at the hospital, several nurses, patients, and doctors greeted him. "Good morning Doc." "Hi Doc." "Magandang umaga Doc!" Nginitian at binati rin niya ang mga nakasalubong bago dumiretso sa kanyang opisina. Pagkaupo pa lamang niya ay sumunod nang pumasok ang isang nurse upang magbigay ng updates sa mga pasyenteng hawak niya at para maglahad ng mga assessment na ginawa para sa mga bagong pasyente. Pagkalipas ng ilang oras na pagtatrabaho at kalahating oras na lamang bago matapos ang kanyang duty ay nag coding ang isa niyang pasyente sa ICU kung kaya't agad nilang dinaluhan ito at ni-revive ulit. Nakaranas ang pasyente ng Ventricular fibrillation kaya ginamitan nila ito ng defibrillator nang hindi makuha sa chest compression, matapos ang ilan pang procedure ay nag stabilize na ang pasyente ngunit nanatili parin sila sa room na iyon upang magsagawa ng ilang assessment, evaluation at ilang test, at para narin mamonitor ang kalagayan nito. Kahit na lagpas na sa oras ng kanyang duty at out na sana nito ay napilitan siyang magovertime dahil na rin sa kalagayan ng pasyente. Nang masiguro nilang stable na ang patient ay dumiretso na ito sa kanyang opisina upang magligpit ng kanyang mga gamit at makauwi narin ito. He looked outside and saw the pouring of the rain slowly stopped... "When the rain stopped, your heart also did." "The rain stopped, as well as you." "Why did you leave me?" "The rain is gone, and so are you." "I love you." ---