THE ALPHA'S SECRET

BAD NIGHT

EREN POV

Octavia, why?

That's the question I keep asking myself.

I do everything for her, give her everything she needs and what does she do.

She runs off into my brother's arms with every slightest opportunity she gets.

I have done everything to show her that I love her but she doesn't see me.

Is it because I am not sane, she must be reposed by me.

That must be it.

But it's not supposed to be like this. Mom assured me that if I had s*x with her, she would love me.

She promised that if I took her, and wifed her. She would love me.

Mom said she wanted me to make her feel like a woman, that's why I took her.

Mom said, woman love it when they are being forced. That's what I did twice but why doesn't she still love me.

' Did mom lie to me?'- I wonder as I wait patiently in the living room for my beautiful wife.

Tonight happens to be the annual alpha gathering and I have been invited as the guest of honor.

At first, I thought of boycotting the event and just staying in my cage but after seeing Nick and my wife being all comfy in each other's arms.

I don't think I can stomach the thought of her being far from me, so I have decided that we are going to grace the venue as a couple.

Atleast this way I will get to spend quality time with her and I can steal a couple of kisses while I am at it.

I mean it's not like she would agree to spend time with me, if she wasn't obligated to.

" Eren, what is this I am hearing?. You are attending the convention of alphas with Octavia?" Mom ask in a panic as she strides into the living room

" You heard right mother" I confirm her suspicions

" Why?" she ask with a displeasing frown

" Should there be a reason why I want to spend time with my own wife?" I ask nonplussed

" You know what I am talking about. Tonight is a full moon, you know how you get after midnight" She reminds, talking about my condition.

My Lycan has been running wild lately, uncomfortably to exact. After midnight I go into total savage mode like a wild animal.

I have been taking my medication but I don't think it's working, because the hallucinations keeps slipping into my day.

" Mom don't worry I took my medications, an ice bath. I even ate the herbs, and bugs you left. I will be fine" I assure her

" No you wouldn't. What if the alpha's notice something off with you. We can't have that, cancel" She orders in a panic

" I can't mom. I will be fine mom. I can control the shaking and carnivorous edges" I assure her with a smile.

" Oh come on, spare me that crap. You are a madman Eren. Madness cannot be controlled" She thunders at me angrily, taking me aback.

Till today she always said I was just a little different from everyone else, guess this is her truth.

" Madman???" I ask as an envelope of disappointment consumes me.

" That wasn't what I meant...." She tries to justify herself but I cut in

" That's what your heart has been telling you. You don't need to butter coat it for me. You think I don't know that I am mad. Do you think I am happy. If you don't know I hate myself. I sleep and pray that I don't wake, because I am tired of living like this. I don't know what is real or fake. I eat trash and sleep on steel. My body hurts throughout the day and no one might ever love me, but I expected that you my own mother wouldn't judge me" I confess bitterly.

" I am so sorry son, I didn't mean to hurt you" She apologizes as her eyes start to water

" But you did. I need some air" I inform before turning to leave, only to see Octavia standing at the door in a blackless velvet dress that accentuates her hourglass figure perfectly.

She looks dumbstruck, as though she had just been caught doing something horrible.

I bet she must have heard every single word of our conversation, which must explain the shock in her icy blue eyes.

" How long have you been standing there?" I ask in a panic

" Not long, I just got here" She informs but I don't believe her, if that were to be the case she wouldn't look so stunned.

" What did you hear?" Mom ask with a frown as she wipes away her tears

" Nothing mother. Was I supposed to hear something" She ask confused, as she eyes us suspiciously.

" No not at all. Are you done?" I try changing the subject, so as not to increase her suspicions

" Can we go?" I ask and she nods in approval

" See you later mom" I say before ushering my wife out

The drive to the event was quiet with me stealing occasional glances at her.

I can never say this enough, my wife is beautiful.

Her smile angelic, even her frown is cute. Today she looks absolutely breathtaking in her velvet dress and mild makeup. He hair is made into a nice ponytail and around her slender neck rest a small, yet expensive jewelry, that screams of elegance.

All through out the trip I could sense that she wanted to say something, but she restrains herself.

" Do you have something to say?" I ask, consequently breaking the silence

" About earlier tonight, it wasn't what it looked like......" She starts mumbling with great distress but I cut in

" It's fine, I trust you" I inform staring directly at her, and I can see that she is shocked.

" And about last night. I shouldn't have slapped you..." She starts speaking but I cut in once more

" I should be apologizing. I shouldn't have tried to force my way on you. I just thought women love it when men insist" I inform, but instead of her being cool about things, her face turns into a hideous frown.

" Are you justifying what you did last night?. Do you think it's right forcing yourself on women, just because they wouldn't complain" She ask angrily

" That wasn't what I meant" I correct but she cuts in

" But that is what you implied. Men like you are what is wrong with this world. You think just because you have money, you can get away with anything" She yells angrily

" What has money got to do with this?" I ask nonplussed as to how we got to this point in our argument.

" Everything. You are so selfish and inconsiderate" She yells angrily

" I am selfish?" I ask doubtful " Everything I have done, I have done for you"

" Done for who?. What have you ever done for me, apart from ruining my life?" She ask arrogantly.

The nerves of this woman, maybe I might have wronged her in the past but that doesn't give her the right to undermine the sacrifices I have made for her. I remember taking 3 jobs back in the day just to pay for her tuition, that was before I opened my own company.

I work hard day and night, so I can provide her with everything she can ever imagine, because I wanted a good life for her and our children.

For heaven sake I am still paying her mother's medical bills, only for her to sit here and talk down to me like this.

What an ingrate.

" Listen here, little wife. You have no idea all the sacrifices I have made me you so don't you dare call me names" I warn looking her straight in the eyes.

She doesn't say a word instead we just sit in the back seat frozen before Simpson, the driver's voice interrupts.

" We are here alpha" He says, and Octavia takes the opportunity to avoid eye contact. We step down from the car and dash into the building hand in hand.

I could feel the irritation in her hands as she reluctantly holds onto to me, eventhough she puts on a smiling act throughout the night.

I can tell that she is suffering from depression.

It's pretty evident with the number of glasses of alcohol that she consumes.

She must have taken like 7 glasses of really strong wine, it's a good thing she knows how to handle her alcohol.

Everything was fine until 11pm when she left the party to compose herself, only to hear two older lunas shamelessly defaming her in the garden.

" I am telling you Luna Youvone, that prostitute Octavia was busy sleeping with both alphas for years, until she decided it was time to settle for the richer one" One of the old women inform arrogantly

" I equally heard that she was found out on the night before her wedding, but still alpha Eren decided to marry her" The other informs

" You mean the alpha knew about her and his brother yet he still wifed her?. Why?" The former asked nonplussed

" I am telling you, that woman is a witch. I bet there is something she uses on her v****a that keeps men tied to her" The second says and I can clearly see Octavia wipe a tear drop from the corner of her eye, making me furious.

If there is one thing I can't stand, it's tears in my woman's eyes.

" Aren't you two not ashamed of yourselves. How dare you deform the character of a woman you know nothing about. For chitst sakes she is young enough to be your daughter" I repraments them bitterly

" We are sorry alpha of alpha. We were simply disclosing what we heard" They apologize abashed.

" You shouldn't spread any rumor you hear" I inform angrily.

" Of course alpha. Forgive us" They say abasely bowing their heads

" You shouldn't apologize to me. Apologies to her" I inform pointing at Octavia.

" We are sorry Luna" They apologize reluctantly, with disgust before walking out.

" Are you okay?" I ask Octavia, worried as I try to pad her shoulder

" Don't touch me" She yells as she angrily slaps my hand away

"It is all your fault" She adds angrily as she walks out on wobbling legs

" What do you mean by this is all my fault?" I ask following her but she won't stop or answer so I am forced to pull her by the hand causing her to lose her balance and fall to the ground.

" I am sorry. I didn't mean to...." I apologize, trying to get her to her feet but what she does next shocks me.

" I hate you" She yells in tears, as she bangs against my chest in anger, crying her eyes out.

" You are the worst thing that ever happened to me. You make me so miserable. I wish you die" She yells in tears still stumping at my chest and I let her ,so she could get some steam out

" You ruined my life. My reputation. You took my pride away and for what, so you could pretend to save my reputation, a reputation that you single handedly destroy" she yells bitterly as she pulls away from me

" Octavia I told you I was sorry. I am sorry. I feel horrible. I feel like dieing, because I can't live with the guilt of hurting you" I confess

" Then die, why are you still living. No one wants you around" She yells angrily.

Her words stab me like a dagger to the heart but I can't bring myself to hate her.

" I know no one does Octavia, but I am hoping that you could probably give me half of, not half, maybe a quarter of the love I have for you. I am willing to do anything to be deserving of your love, just give me a chance" I inform her sincerely as I take her hands in mine, consequently causing her to look into my eyes.

" I don't think I can give that chance Eren. You have hurt me too much" She says in tears

" Just one chance. I will make it up to you. I promise" I assure her with a hug. She doesn't resist and a few seconds later I realize the she has fallen asleep on my shoulder.

She must have had too much to drink after all.

I waste no time in taking her off her feet, carrying her bridal style into our car.

She seems to be exhausted, as she snores softly with gentle sobs. She must be going through alot and it's all my fault. I hate myself for hurting her like this.

All the while, as we are driven home. I don't let her go, I carry her in my arms like my baby till me arrive our location.

I then carry her to her bedroom, and help take off her shoes, before gently placing her on her bed but just when I am about to leave she wakes.

" Don't go" She says in her woozy state as she clings to my arm " I need you" She adds as she wraps her arms around my neck, pulling me closer to herself.

" What are you doing?" I ask nonplussed before she cuts me off with a hungry kiss.

Her lips are soft, tender and sweet. There are the best thing I have ever tasted.

Her touch is so arousing, the way her hands roam around my all my body sends unimaginable pleasure to my genitals to the point that my hardness hurts.

I need her with every nerve in my body, but this can't happen. She already hates me. If we were to do this she will kill me.

" Stop" I beseech her as I pull away from the kiss

" Why?" She ask desperate, as she licks her lower lip seductively " I want you"

" I want you too, but you are going to hate me tomorrow morning" I inform sincerely

" Then let me hate you then, but I want to love you now" She confesses.

Her words comes to me as an afrodisia that sends every spirit of hesitation out of me.

Without a moment of hesitation I recapture her lips in fierce kiss that she retaliates with the same energy, as she unbuttons my shirt hastily.

One thing is for sure, she is not going to be happy about this tomorrow morning but I am far too gone to stop now.

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