Some Helpful Insight
1800 Words
[Roanna’s Pov]
We usually meet in warm, foresty places. But it isn’t that hard to tell who’s dreaming up who this time. The forest is all aspen. I guess I should have picked up on that. Me calling to my fellow descendants through a dream, it took us to the stars. There’s nothing but half moons, bright stars, and a clear blue plane that makes me think we’re standing on the edge of the universe.
How can something so beautiful come from me?
Lola is there first before Aspen. That is the only normal thing about this routine. We always appear here before she does. I’m going to chuck it up to her not sleeping early. As a queen and mother of two, I can’t imagine she goes to bed early.
“Hi, Roanna!!!” Lola ran at me, arms wide. I parted mine for her too. Is it just me, or has she gotten paler? She looks like she’s getting her soul sucked out or something. It worries me.
I’ve been selfish, thinking of myself too much. Lola... I don’t seem to envy her even though she told me she’s very rich. She doesn’t look like that made a difference. She says her parents love her, but it doesn’t look like that love is good.
I clutch her tight. I need friends. I didn’t sleep throughout the night. I woke up a little bit early to check on Zane, and to my surprise... he was willing to reach a compromise. I will still suggest fighting. Because he doesn’t look like he’s happy about not punishing me. I do want a moment to enjoy life. The way those tests made me feel... I don’t think I have a shot at surviving this. I should have thought it through.
And I would like to talk to someone.. an omega about it. In case it works out. Which is not even the best-case scenario.
“Hi, Lola! You don’t look so good.”
She giggles like she can't help it and glances around the room. “I’m alright. Just dealing with stuff. This place is beautiful.”
“Don’t avoid the question. What’s going on?”
she ran her hand through her hair. “I told you my father runs a sort of omega boot camp, right?”
Technically she had said ‘omega breeding camp’. I’m not sure I want to know.
But I listen.
“Yeah, you said it.”
“Well, I’m finally graduating. Which means I’ll be sold off soon. And while this is what I’ve been trained for, I’m terrified. What will I do without my mother’s guidance? What if I do something wrong and fail my buyer? I can’t fail a buyer, I can’t be a returned omega. Father hates those.”
“Whoa whoa whoa, a buyer?”
She laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. She looks drained. “Yeah. I don’t wanna talk about it, please. So can we discuss you? Is everything alright?”
I want to push, to ask questions so I know if things are good or not... but she clearly looks distraught and disturbed. Sold... buyer? Dear goddess, what life did you toss us into?
“Okay, uh, I wanted to ask you about being an omega,” I explained my situation, and while I was talking Aspen appeared. She looked not so relaxed. I wonder if something is happening with all of us today.
She plops on the ground beside one of the half moons just as I rounded up. “Wow, that is something. I wouldn’t recommend changing your DNA. Being an omega isn’t all it’s cracked out to be. In my pack, we’re like gold. Wanted and desired so much they treat us like property. But that’s okay, right? Father says it’s our duty.”
“Your father sounds like a tool.” Aspen comments, tiredly. We walk over to join her on the ground... well it feels like the ground but it looks like nothing but a cosmic mix of blue and purple.
“Don’t call him that. Anywho, my only advice is to make sure you and your alpha are on the same page. Omegas are dependent, not really by choice... but by nature. I could be wrong though, this is just my knowledge from my pack. Which by the way, I have to return too..” she cupped my hands. “I admire you, Roanna. You’re an alpha, you’re strong. Whatever is holding you back, fight her off. I hear her. That voice.... she not in your head alone. She’s succeeding off your misery. I know who the voice is, but you need to find out for yourself.”
“What are you psychic?” I question. Not sure what to think.
“No, I just say what comes to my mind. As for you Aspen, that threat is bull. Tell Rylan, whoever it is, wants a different valtero.” like that she was gone. Vanished from this dream plain. It has to be late over there for her, why is she leaving?
“I must say, she’s strange. Much like the two of us.”
“Yeah. Uh, thank you. By the way. Zane wants to compromise because you laid into him.”
She smirked. “Thank fuck.”
“What do you gain from helping me?”
“Contrary to what you think of me, I’m only cruel to those who hurt my family. I fought hard for them, I won’t let anyone take them from me.”
“So, why is it toxic when I do it?”
Aspen leans back on the palms of her hand and stares at me. “That part is easy. Do you want to be here changing your DNA for those people?”
“No.”
“Right, it’s an obligation for you. Not a choice. It’s a choice for me. To die, live, and kill for my family. The valteros taught me that.” she says with a fond smile hooking her lips.
An obligation, not a choice? I’ve always known it wasn’t my choice. The voice in my head reminds me that I’m a dog, I’m weak. It’s hard to shift out of that mindset. So my only option is to run. If I can get through this, then I will leave. Either through death or something else.
Lola says the voice in my head feeds off my misery, I know that. But the next part, she knows who it is. That part I don’t get. Who is it?
“My life’s a bit more complicated. I mean look at me. I should be able to say no right?”
Aspen actually laughed like it was funny. “I lived with my family, up till the age of twenty-five and the only time I left was when they branded me a rogue and pregnant.”
I winced. Crap that does not sound as picture happy as I thought it was. “I have as many siblings as you do. Two brothers- who threatened me countless times that they would w***e me out. An omega sister everyone thought was golden. A mother who wishes I’d never been born. She actually told me once that she had the chance to put a pillow over my face when I was an infant, and she regrets not doing it.” My face showed as much as I felt. “My dad just didn’t like me. My pack hated me. I can stay here and list all the bad things. How I never had the balls to leave because guess what? We’re descendants. The previous ones that came before us did so much evil that it didn’t matter if we ran, or hid, werewolves would never like us. If it’s not your family, it’ll be another. The only thing you can do is find a way to live your life. And if you get that strength to let go, and sever those ties, do it. And do it in person.”
“That sounds awful. f**k I thought-”
“Alot of wolves think the same. That I hopped on Rylan’s d**k and had kids so I could join him in terrorizing people. I don’t blame you. I just think.... let me ask you, what’s the most appealing feature I have?”
I took a good look at her before answering. “Your eyes.”
Aspen’s smile grows. “Yeah, I was told as a kid that they were unusual and demonic. Rylan taught me that they were what people envy. My eyes are expressive. When I first met you, I thought you were so beautiful. Tall, strong- heck, remember you tried to shove a spear down my throat and drown me.” I laughed at the memory. Our first time appearing in a dream together. “Yeah, and you may not have noticed because it has gotten so f*****g small but your eyes have clouds in them.”
“They do? Oh yeah, they do.” hell, I haven’t seen much of those clouds in a while. I was also ridiculed for my eyes. But people preferred my body for a target. Is it too much to ask for a family? Aspen is braver than I am.
“Yeah. I think you could be an amazing person, you just need to regain your mojo. I think your family is realizing their lives suck without you. Because they’re weak. Who’s going to bail your sister out when she inevitably cheats and gets engaged to another person? Will she find her way back here to ask you for help?”
My shoulders went rigid. What would I do if she did?
“Make sure you’re capable of saying no by the time. I love my family, and I’m rooting for you. The valteros are amazing once you connect with them. You can show Zane. I know it. And even if that’s not a good reason, then try to do it for yourself. You and I are demi-gods. In a different world, we would be worshipped. We are paying for crimes we didn’t commit. And I don’t know about you, but I refuse to serve another person’s sentence.”
I cup my knees and smirk. “I think I like you, Mrs Valtero.”
She giggles. “I know right? If only people took the time to get to know me. They would loveeee me.”
She’s joking but it’s true. The valteros protect her for a reason. I misjudged, that makes me as bad as the people I internally stew over. so... who is Roanna?
What does she like? What can she make of herself without shadowing the weight of her family? I can’t wait to find out.
- Writer
