Harry Potter and the Enemy Within

Chapter 6 - Defense Against the Dark Arts

CHAPTER 6: Defense Against the Dark Arts

As much as Harry had enjoyed his stay with the Weasleys, he was glad when the Hogwarts Express pulled into the station at Hogsmeade. He had managed to get caught up in his class work over the holidays, though admittedly this was due more to Hermione hounding him than his own initiative, and he was anxious to get back to his classes. But more than anything else, he wanted to resume his lessons with Snape. Harry was still having nightmares about the attack on the orphanage and he’d dreamt of two other attacks in the past few days as well. With the new year, Death Eater activity had exploded. Voldemort seemed determined to outdo himself which in turn made Harry more determined than ever to be rid of his visions once and for all.

As the students arrived at the castle, Professor McGonagall pulled Harry aside.

“Mr. Potter, I need a word with you, please,” she said. Harry followed his teacher to her office. When they arrived, McGonagall sat down at her desk, regarded Harry severely and sighed.

“Sit down, Potter.”

Harry sat down, feeling increasingly uncomfortable. He wondered what could be wrong to warrant an audience with his Head of House before the new term had even begun.

“Professor Snape wants to see you immediately after dinner,” McGonagall said as if answering his unspoken question.

“You called me up here to tell me that, Professor?” Harry asked.

“No. I also wanted to find out how you could have possibly thought it a good idea to accuse the Potions Master of this school of having no greater pleasure in life than to torment you. And to do so in writing, no less!”

Harry’s mouth fell open. “He told you that?”

“No, I read it along with a few other of your choice opinions! What on earth possessed you to write such things?”

Harry had no idea what to say. It was mortifying to think that McGonagall had read his letters to Snape.

“Honestly, Potter, do you really need to provoke any more bad blood between you and Professor Snape?”

“I wasn’t the one who started it,” Harry said petulantly.

“I have no doubt. But when will you learn not to rise to the bait? Couldn’t you have just once done the sensible thing and let it go? Did you have to insult him?”

“I didn’t mean to offend him.”

“Then I’d hate to see what you consider offensive!”

Harry winced. McGonagall was right, of course. He had been terribly rude and it was impossible to explain that he hadn’t really meant most of what he’d written and didn’t think Snape had either. It was even harder to explain that these irreverent letters had seemed to be the only way he and Snape could communicate at all. But maybe Snape had been in earnest. Sitting here in McGonagall’s office, Harry felt doubt close in around him.

“Is he very angry with me?” Harry asked.

“Don’t you think he ought to be?”

Harry didn’t answer, and McGonagall continued. “Although Professor Snape cannot strictly punish you for your behavior outside of school, I’m sure he’s resourceful enough to find a way around that technicality.”

“I don’t care,” Harry said, rolling his eyes in frustration. “He can give me detention for a month. It doesn’t matter.”

McGonagall raised her eyebrows at Harry in surprise.

“I’ll apologize to him,” Harry continued. “Not that it’ll help.”

McGonagall regarded Harry closely and her stern demeanor softened.

“Well, I don’t think you need to go that far,” she said with a hint of a smile. “I merely wanted to be sure that you understood what you were doing. I’m quite certain Professor Snape took your letters in the spirit in which they were intended.”

Harry frowned slightly at his teacher and wondered if he’d heard her right.

“So then you mean… he’s not angry?” Harry asked slowly.

McGonagall fixed Harry with a wry look.

“No more so than usual. Which isn’t to say that he won’t still give you detention, you know.”

“I know, Professor. That’s all right.”

“Potter, do be careful,” McGonagall said seriously. “Severus Snape is not a man to be trifled with.”

“I know that, Professor.”

“I hope you do. Now, you’d better get down to dinner.”

“Yes, Professor.” Harry rose and was nearly at the door when McGonagall spoke again.

“And Potter, you didn’t hear any of this from me, or I’ll give you detention myself. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Good. Dismissed.”

Harry left McGonagall’s office and hurried down to the Great Hall to join the rest of the students for dinner. Everyone was sharing stories about the holidays and Harry was soon talking animatedly with his friends. He kept an eye on the head table, though, and when he saw Snape get up to leave, he wolfed down the last of his dessert and followed. It wasn’t that Harry was looking forward to his meeting with Snape, but after his conversation with McGonagall he wanted to find out just how much trouble he was in.

Harry knocked on Snape’s office door and waited, but there was no response. He frowned and was about to knock again when a door at the end of the hallway opened and Snape emerged. He saw Harry and frowned.

“Well, well, Potter. Aren’t we punctual tonight?”

Snape closed the heavy, polished, oak door behind him and came towards Harry.

“Professor McGonagall said you wanted to see me, sir,” Harry said.

“So I do.”

Snape led the way into his office. Harry followed and closed the door behind him. He stood facing his professor who made no move to sit down.

“Because you have shown a certain proficiency for Occlumency, last term I chose to focus your lessons primarily on Legilimency,” Snape began the moment the door was shut. “However, I believe now that it would be best to study both in tandem.”

“But I already know how to block my thoughts using Occlumency,” Harry said.

“Really?” Snape asked. “What did you have for breakfast this morning?”

Harry frowned at the odd question and his thoughts immediately went back to breakfast and what he’d eaten. Before he could answer however, Snape spoke again.

“Eggs, sausage, pumpkin juice and toast.”

Snape sneered at the look of disbelief on Harry’s face.

“The idea is to prevent me from discerning your thoughts quite so effortlessly. And no, looking away is not an option. You need to be able to look me in the eyes without allowing me to see every thought that wanders through your mind and you must do so without using your wand to cast a spell.”

“How?” Harry asked in exasperation, angered and embarrassed by how easily Snape had read his memory of breakfast.

“Potter, surely you must realize that neither Occlumency nor Legilimency are actually used the way you practice them in these lessons? Both rely heavily on stealth for their success. Do you honestly think brandishing a wand at someone and crying ‘Legilimens’ would produce any useful information? Likewise, if you forcefully eject a Legilimens from your mind, he will know that you are hiding something and is likely to find a less subtle way of extracting it. It is essential, therefore, that your opponent be unaware that you are using either of these disciplines.

“You have learnt basic Occlumency skills, but although these do a reasonable job of protecting you from a blatant, long-distance attack by the Dark Lord, they are useless against a more subtle invasion. It is time for you to learn more advanced techniques, not least because they should aid your Legilimency training as well. Now let’s begin.”

Snape drew his wand.

“Why do you get to use a wand if I’m not supposed to?” Harry asked as he tried to prepare himself for the mental attack. Leave it to Snape to spring something entirely new on me after two weeks of no lessons, Harry thought.

“Because it brings your memories vividly to mind and allows you to concentrate on blocking them. If I weren’t using a wand, you’d have no hope of succeeding, given your current abilities. Now concentrate. Legilimens!”

Memories of his childhood flooded Harry’s mind and he had no idea how stop them. It was as bad as the first Occlumency lessons he’d had the previous year. Then all at once, the memories ceased.

“That was pathetic, Potter,” Snape said in disgust. “Your mind is ridiculously easy to manipulate.”

“I can’t help it!” Harry said. “I can’t defend myself without my wand.”

“Yes, you can. Remember the night you attacked me. You didn’t use your wand. You cast no spell. You used your mind. This is no different.”

“But I don’t know how I did that!”

“Then I suggest you discover the answer quickly, because you will not leave here tonight until you do.”

“What?”

“You need to master both Occlumency and Legilimency to effectively defend yourself against the Dark Lord and you don’t have forever in which to do it. I will not waste my time while you continue to dawdle about. You will make progress, and if you think I’ve pushed you hard in the past, you have no idea what I can put you through.”

“Threatening me isn’t going to help me learn any faster,” Harry said.

“Perhaps a demonstration then? Legilimens!”

Harry was thrust into another memory, but this one wasn’t of any childhood humiliation. It was one of Voldemort’s attacks. When the memory ended, Harry found himself trembling violently on his hands and knees while Snape stood regarding him dispassionately.

“You must have quite a few memories of the Dark Lord by now,” Snape said as Harry got shakily to his feet. “Would you like to relive them all tonight?”

Harry had his wand out and pointed at Snape before he realized what he was doing.

“No, I wouldn’t,” Harry said angrily. “And if you think I’m going to stay here, you’re mad!

Snape was unmoved by Harry’s outburst. He flicked his wand at the door and locked it with a word. Harry instinctively glanced that way as well and Snape was ready to take advantage of his momentary distraction.

“Expelliarmus!”

Harry’s wand was ripped from his grasp and went hurtling towards Snape who caught it in mid air and pocketed it without taking his eyes off Harry.

“Now Mr. Potter,” Snape continued calmly as though nothing had happened, “let’s get on with your lesson, shall we? Concentrate on stopping me this time.”

***

Harry vomited, or rather tried to. But although his stomach contracted violently, nothing came up; which made sense, he supposed. He couldn’t remember if this was the third or fourth time he’d thrown up this evening, but surely there was nothing left in his stomach by now. He’d lost all track of time, but knew that morning had to still be hours away. He was becoming genuinely afraid that his sanity wasn’t going to make it.

So far, Harry had been unable to block any of the memories Snape had called forth. Horrors he’d entirely forgotten presented themselves in lurid detail. Snape showed no mercy and no inclination to stop the torment. Harry knew he couldn’t endure much more. He could feel panic gnawing at the edges of his mind.

I’ve got to stop him! Harry thought desperately.

“Look at me, Potter,” Snape said. “I will not let you take the coward’s way out.”

Snape’s voice was brittle with some emotion Harry was too tired and miserable to be bothered trying to identify. But, cowardly or not, Harry wasn’t about to look Snape in the eyes again. He wasn’t going to make it that easy anymore.

“Potter, do you really want to suffer the added humiliation of having me force you? I can, you know.”

Harry knew that was probably true. Snape surely wouldn’t be deterred by something as simple as Harry refusing to look at him and without his wand Harry had no other defense. Better to face the inevitable with dignity, he realized, and wondered if anyone would come looking for him before he was reduced to a raving lunatic fit only for St. Mungos. He pushed that thought aside and looked up to meet Snape’s gaze. That alone was frightening. The man looked feverish and half-mad himself. His eyes burned unnaturally bright and there was a fine sheen of sweat on his forehead.

“Legilimens!”

Harry was at the Ministry of Magic, deep in the Department of Mysteries. A pitched battle was raging and on a dais not far away stood Sirius and Bellatrix Lestrange battling one another.

Not this! Harry begged silently. Please, not this!

Sirius was laughing, then Bellatrix’s curse hit him and he fell backwards towards the veil…

“Noooooooooooo!” Harry screamed. He shoved the memory away and felt an overwhelming relief. He’d done it. He’d managed to throw off Snape’s attack even without his wand.

“Finally,” Snape said sounding relieved as well. “Now if you could manage that without being utterly desperate, we’d be getting somewhere.”

Snape spoke as calmly as if Harry had just managed to grasp some arcane principle of potion brewing and Harry stared at him in disbelief.

“You’re mad. Do you know that?” Harry said seriously.

“Not mad, Potter. Just tired of the tediously slow progress you’ve been making. After the hopeless letter you sent me a few days ago, it was clear that something needed to be done.”

“And you thought torturing me would help?” Harry snarled, his composure splintering.

“It worked,” Snape said. “Besides, self-preservation is an extremely powerful instinct. There is no way you would have allowed yourself to be seriously harmed without fighting back. Even your mind is stronger than that. You simply needed to reach the point where you felt genuinely threatened.”

“Is that all?” Harry asked icily. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that you did this to help me?”

Snape’s eyes flashed angrily. “I had to relive your memories too, Potter,” he said quietly. “Do you think I enjoyed that?”

Harry met Snape’s glare. I’m sure you loved it! he thought viciously. But, before he could put the thought into words, Harry realized that beneath the practiced self-control, Snape was nearly at the breaking point himself. No, Harry thought, the horror hadn’t been lost on his teacher.

Harry ran a hand across his eyes, feeling his anger ebb away.

“No, of course you didn’t enjoy it,” he said wearily. He closed his eyes against a pounding headache and missed Snape’s startled look. The Potions Master had composed himself a moment later as he reached for a nearby decanter.

“Here,” he said pouring a familiar potion into a cup and handing it to Harry.

“You ought to have some of this, too, you know,” Harry said offhandedly as he took the cup.

Snape looked at Harry sharply once more, but poured himself a cup of the potion as well. He drained it immediately and Harry followed suit. As Harry put down his empty cup, Snape handed him his wand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Snape said, managing to make the simple statement sound like a threat.

Harry sighed. Wonderful! he thought miserably. “Yes, sir.”

Harry left Snape’s office and headed for his own bed. It had been a long, exhausting day and Harry was sure that if Snape had his way, the days to come weren’t going to get any easier.

***

“Wonder what we’ll be doing in Defense this term?” Ron mused as the Gryffindors headed down to the lake the next morning. “It’s getting a bit boring stunning Crabbe and Goyle. ‘Course, they’re already halfway there to begin with, so it’s not much of a challenge.”

Ryan was waiting for them, his usual infectious energy not at all dampened by the bitter January cold.

“You’ll be working in teams of two today, so everyone needs to have a partner.”

They’d done this plenty of times in the past and the students were already starting to pair up.

“Not your usual partners,” Ryan said. “Today I want you to pair up with someone from the other house.”

There was a moment of complete silence where no one moved.

“What?”

That was Malfoy finding the perfect mix of disbelief and disgust. For once Harry agreed with him.

“Did you lot learn nothing last term?” Ryan asked. “Do you think you spent hours analyzing each other’s fighting styles simply as a lark?

“Mr. Malfoy, when you duel, you use distraction and stealth to gain the upper hand. You fight well enough, but you’re always looking for a sneaky way to undermine your opponent.

“On the other hand, Mr. Potter, you almost never attack first. You certainly never attempt to take your opponent off guard. But once the duel begins, you fight boldly and never back down.

“Understand that neither of these approaches is inherently superior to the other. Some situations call for boldness, others for more subtle tactics. But one thing is certain: if you only know how to fight one way, you’ll lose more often than someone with more versatility. Right now, each and every one of you is completely predictable. My job is to teach you not to be and the easiest way is for you to learn from each other.

“Now, since you don’t seem inclined to choose partners, I’ll do it for you. Miss Granger and Miss Bulstrode, you’ll work together.”

Hermione and Millicent eyed one another warily, but moved to stand next to each other.

“Mr. Crabbe, you’ll be with Mr. Weasley. Mr. Potter, you’re with Mr. Malfoy.”

“I’m not working with him,” Malfoy insisted.

“Professor, I really think we’d do better with other partners,” Harry chimed in.

“Really? Well then, the next time I ask you to choose partners, perhaps you’ll remember that. For now gentlemen, do as you’re told and don’t interrupt me again or you’ll both have detention.”

Harry and Malfoy subsided into glaring at one another while Ryan finished pairing up the remaining students. Next he paired up the teams for duels and everyone split up.

When the students were dueling in teams, Ryan employed a different technique from the sort he used with individual duels. Instead of simply having the teams spread out and fight, he assigned each pair of teams a designated location somewhere around the lake. This gave everyone plenty of room and allowed the students to develop tactics beyond simply hurling curses at one another. For this reason, opposing teams typically took different routes to the dueling site in order to plan their strategy without being overheard.

For the first duel, Harry and Malfoy were to fight Hermione and Millicent. The girls headed off in one direction and the boys struck out sullenly in another.

“I can’t believe Ryan expects me to work with you,” Malfoy seethed scornfully.

“I’m not particularly thrilled, myself,” Harry growled.

The clearing where they were to duel came into view and Malfoy strode ahead of Harry to take up position behind a large tree at its edge.

Harry scowled, but followed Malfoy and took cover nearby.

“Try to keep the Gryffindor heroics in check, Potter, and follow my lead,” Malfoy snapped, smirking at his would-be partner.

“In your dreams, Malfoy!” Harry glared at Malfoy. “Just remember who you’re supposed to be cursing.”

“You don’t trust me, Potter?” Malfoy sneered.

“Not for a second.”

“I’m not so thick as to take you down in Defense. Believe me, when I’m ready there won’t be any witnesses.”

“You talk big, Malfoy, but you’re awfully short on action. You want to take me on? You’re welcome any time.”

“Impedimenta!”

The twin curses caught Harry and Malfoy completely off guard and left them both lying on the ground unable to move. Harry looked up to see Hermione and Millicent standing over them.

“You two really ought to talk less and pay more attention,” Hermione chided them.

“This is all your fault, Potter!” Malfoy declared furiously.

“My fault! You were the one threatening me.”

“If you’d just done what I told you in the first place –“

“I’m not one of your lackeys, Malfoy!”

“You think maybe we should use a silencing charm?” Millicent asked Hermione. Hermione smiled and they both raised their wands.

***

Harry stormed into the castle plucking canary feathers off his robe with Malfoy close on his heels.

“How could you let Neville Longbottom sneak up on us?” Malfoy demanded, brushing feathers out of his hair. “Are you blind?”

“You were supposed to be watching our back!”

“I was trying to get around behind Goyle!”

“Nice of you to mention that!”

“I don’t need to tell you everything I’m doing, Potter!”

“You do when we’re supposed to be working together!”

They stopped mid-stride as they spotted Snape, arms crossed, blocking their path. He clearly wasn’t happy and looked them both up and down with perfect disdain.

“Mr. Filch will not be amused by feathers littering the entrance hall,” Snape said. “Clean them up, Potter, before you wind up with detention.” The Potions Master glared at Harry, who had the sudden impression that Snape was trying not to laugh. That absurd thought was gone a moment later as Snape stalked away.

Malfoy smirked at Harry. “Yeah, Potter. Clean it up,” he said then headed off towards the dungeons, dropping feathers as he went.

“Harry!”

Harry turned to see Ron, Hermione and Neville entering the hall.

“Are you okay?” Neville continued. “I really didn’t think that hex would be so effective.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Only Snape told me to clean up all the feathers in the entrance hall or he’ll give me detention.”

“Oh, for heavens sake, Harry!” Hermione tutted. She raised her wand. “Evanesco!” All the feathers vanished.

“Hermione, have I ever told you you’re brilliant?” Ron asked, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Thanks, Hermione,” Harry said feeling considerably cheered as they went in to lunch.

***

The day wore into evening and sooner than Harry would have liked, it was time to meet with Snape again. He wasn’t sure if he could handle another lesson like the one he’d had the evening before. He was still furious with Snape for having put him through such misery and the memory of Sirius’ death had been a stark reminder of the hatred he harbored towards the Potions Master. Logically, Harry knew that Sirius’s death hadn’t really been Snape’s fault, but somehow he still blamed the man.

Snape looked up as Harry entered the office and took his accustomed seat. He leaned back in his chair, and regarded Harry with an unreadable expression. Harry met Snape’s gaze with an impassive expression of his own and fought the urge to squirm. But when Snape rose, drew his wand and pointed it at him, Harry couldn’t help it. He flinched.

“Nervous, Potter?” Snape drawled, obviously amused.

Harry’s jaw clenched and he stood up as well and faced his professor.

“I’m here. Let’s get on with it.”

Snape smirked and raised his wand once more. This time Harry didn’t even blink.

“Legilimens!”

To Harry’s surprise and relief the memories that sprang to mind were the run of the mill childhood humiliations he’d relived so often in the past. Even more surprising, he found that he could banish them without using his wand. Not as easily and not always, but more often than he would have imagined possible two days ago.

At last Snape stopped the exercise. Harry was drenched in sweat from the effort, but Snape seemed satisfied with his progress.

“All right, Potter, that will be enough of that for this evening. Let’s see how rusty your Legilimency is.”

Harry rolled his eyes. He was already exhausted and hadn’t practiced Legilimency in over two weeks. Snape knew that of course and Harry was sure the man was simply trying to show him up as a way to get even with him for going away on holiday. Harry took a deep breath to focus his mind, drew his wand and faced Snape.

“Legilimens!” he said and his scar exploded in pain. Harry screamed and dropped to his knees clutching his forehead. A moment later Snape was beside him.

“Block it! You know how to do this! Focus!”

Harry tried. Through the haze of pain, he drew upon the skills he’d been using only a few minutes before. The pain began to recede. Harry concentrated harder and the pain vanished.

“Potter, you must always be on your guard!” Snape scolded. “This isn’t just an academic exercise we’re practicing here!”

Harry looked at Snape and sighed. “I know that, Professor,” he said miserably. “Believe me, I know.”

Snape took Harry’s arm and pulled him to his feet.

“I think you’ve had quite enough practice for one night. Go and get some rest.”

“Yes, sir,” Harry said. He hesitated a moment, then continued. “He’s really angry about something. I don’t know what it is, but he’s furious.”

Snape’s expression didn’t change, but Harry felt the man’s grip tighten on his arm.

“There’s no point in worrying about it. We’ll simply have to wait and see what transpires,” Snape said as he led Harry to the door. “Put it out of your mind.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “I’ll try, sir,” he said, not holding out much hope of success. He reached for the doorknob, but Snape stopped him.

“Potter, I have told you before,” Snape said angrily. “It isn’t your place to be concerned with the Dark Lord’s activities.”

“Well, it’s a little hard not to be when I dream about them every other night!” Harry said, his own anger flaring. He and Snape glared at one another, but Harry was too tired to keep up the staring contest. He sighed.

“Professor, I promise to try not to worry about whatever it is he’s doing. Now can I just go? I’m tired and I’d really like to get to sleep.”

Snape searched his eyes for another moment then relented and stepped aside. Harry pulled open the door and left, without a word or backward glance.

***

The next morning, Harry sat in the Great Hall nursing his pumpkin juice. He picked at his breakfast and glanced at the clock again. It didn’t seem to have moved at all since the last time he’d looked at it. Harry sighed and nibbled at his toast. He was exhausted. He hadn’t been sleeping all that well recently and last night had been bad. He wanted to forget about it and get on with the day before he fell asleep here at the table.

Not that he was looking forward to Potions. He still wasn’t sure what to make of Snape. The tentative rapport he and the Potions Master had managed to develop before Christmas had vanished. Snape seemed harsher than ever and ready to explode in anger at the least provocation. Of course, that was hardly unusual. What really disturbed Harry was that Snape seemed… worried. At least, Harry thought that’s what it was. It was hard to tell with Snape, but he’d definitely seen something like that in the man’s eyes as he’d struggled to control the pain in his scar the previous evening.

Harry didn’t like to think about what it would take to worry Snape. The man wasn’t exactly the sort to be easily rattled. Harry had spent a good portion of the night agonizing over this until he’d finally given up. Second guessing Snape was impossible and Harry knew he’d only drive himself mad trying. Right now, he just wanted to get on with his classes so he could forget about Voldemort and his visions and just be a normal sixteen year old for a while.

If only that stupid clock would cooperate, Harry thought as he scowled at the massive timepiece once more. It seemed to have only grudgingly inched forward.

Seamus gave a low whistle. He was seated across from Harry next to Ron and was reading the Daily Prophet.

“Have you read this?” he asked his fellow classmates. “Death Eaters killed a family in Oxford last night. Mother was Muggle born. Father and six-year old son died too.”

Harry looked away. He was certain the paper didn’t carry any but the most general information on the murders. It wouldn’t mention the surprised look on the mother’s face as she was struck dead upon opening the door. Nor would it mention how the father had sobbed over his son’s dead body. Harry stood up, unable to bear the bustle in the Great Hall or the smell of food.

“Harry, are you all right?”

Harry glanced over at Ginny who was looking at him in concern.

“Yeah, I just forgot something,” he said. He left before anyone else could question him and went down to the dungeons. It was still early and the corridor outside the Potions classroom was deserted. Harry leaned against the stone wall and shut his eyes. The coolness and quiet helped to settle his stomach.

“Mr. Potter?”

Harry opened his eyes to find Snape watching him.

“It isn’t your habit to be early for class,” Snape said.

It isn’t yours either, Harry thought. But he knew perfectly well that Snape had followed him and answered the unspoken question.

“I didn’t sleep well.”

Snape nodded curtly and stepped past him to open the classroom door. As Harry followed his teacher in, he wondered idly what someone overhearing their conversation would make of his and Snape’s seemingly unrelated comments to one another. Harry took his seat and soon the rest of the students began to arrive. Once everyone was assembled, Snape addressed the class.

“In my experience, two weeks is more than enough time for the average student to have forgotten everything I have spent three and a half months painstakingly teaching. Dare I hope that any of you will prove an exception?”

Total silence reigned in the classroom as each student found someplace to look other than at their teacher. Each student except for Hermione, who looked as eager to prove herself as ever.

“Who can tell me the seven uses of Bicorn horn and the difference in the preparation for each?”

Hermione’s hand shot up instantly. Harry had a vague memory of having studied this, but that had been a couple of months ago and he certainly didn’t remember it. Apparently, no one else did either because Hermione’s was the only hand raised.

Snape ignored Hermione and scowled at the rest of the class. “What are the ingredients of Rust Repellant solution?”

Hermione’s hand stayed up but no one else moved. Most of the students were now staring at Snape with varying degrees of disbelief. The man couldn’t really expect them to have that potion memorized. He’d barely mentioned it in passing.

“What are the steps that must be taken to harvest and prepare Mandrake for use in restorative droughts? Miss Granger, put your hand down. I am well aware that you know the answer. I would like to discover if anyone else does.”

Hermione lowered her hand as Snape regarded the rest of the class icily.

“No one?” Snape said in a silky voice that was barely above a whisper.

The whole class sat frozen in place. Even the Slytherins looked scared. They had all long ago learnt that the angrier Snape got, the quieter he got. As long as he was shouting at you, things couldn’t get too bad. At the moment, though, no one dared breathe for fear of getting a month’s detention or worse.

“I should fail you all,” Snape snarled.

“Mr. Potter!” Harry jumped as Snape’s furious glare turned towards him. “What are the two ingredients that should never be combined in any potion?”

“Asphodel and Mandrake,” Harry answered immediately.

Snape blinked, then his eyes widened in surprise. “Correct.”

It was obvious that Snape hadn’t expected Harry to know the answer and in truth, Harry hadn’t. He’d simply blurted out the first two ingredients that had come to mind and was no less astonished than his teacher that they’d been right.

Harry was certain that Snape would read his expression and know he had simply made a lucky guess and sure enough, Snape was looking at him with dawning realization. But instead of the suspicious sneer Harry was expecting, Snape wore a look of suppressed triumph.

“Well, Mr. Potter. It would seem that your extra Potions lessons are finally paying off.”

Harry frowned slightly in confusion. Snape never passed up an opportunity to insult him and certainly never complimented him. Strangest of all, Snape looked genuinely pleased with him. Harry blinked.

No he doesn’t, Harry thought. Snape was wearing the same coldly aloof expression he usually did.

Am I going mad? Harry wondered.

No.

Harry felt a shiver run down his spine. The answer to his unspoken question had been unmistakable, but he was certain he hadn’t thought it. It had simply popped into his mind like… Like Asphodel and Mandrake.

Harry suddenly understood. He hadn’t known the answer to Snape’s question, but Snape had.

“Clearly even you are capable of learning, given enough time and effort,” Snape told him. The Potions Master turned away from Harry and glared at the rest of the class. “Which means the rest of you should be able to do at least as well. I want an essay on the interactions of all the standard potions ingredients listed in your book. At least three feet due Thursday at the start of class.”

Most of the students slumped dejectedly at this news. They knew better than to groan. But Hermione’s eyes had lit up excitedly and Harry was sure that she was looking forward to the assignment. Harry was too stunned by what had just happened to care. Snape had already launched into the day’s lecture and Harry did his best to concentrate, but it was nearly impossible. His thoughts were in turmoil. Was it really possible that he had read Snape’s mind? That seemed unbelievable, yet the more he thought about it, the more he became convinced that there was no other answer.

Harry glanced over at Hermione. He desperately wanted to ask her opinion. If there were some other reasonable explanation for what he’d experienced, he was certain Hermione would know about it. Harry couldn’t wait for the lesson to be over so he could talk to her.

Naturally, class seemed to drag on interminably. More than once, Harry glanced at his watch certain they had somehow missed the bell. At last the class ended and Harry quickly gathered his things.

“Hermione, I need to talk to you,” he said.

“Is everything okay, Harry?”

“Yeah, fine. I just need to talk to you and Ron.”

“Potter, I need a word with you,” Snape called from the front of the class. “Alone,” he added with a pointed look at Hermione.

“Yes, sir,” Harry replied. He turned back to Hermione. “I’ll see you in Charms.”

“Okay, Harry,” Hermione said. She glanced between Harry and Snape then followed the last of the students out.

“Well, Potter,” Snape said once he and Harry were alone. “Although, I would prefer that you actually learnt something about potions in my class, I suppose Legilimency is an acceptable alternative.”

“So, I really did read your thoughts then?” Harry asked excitedly.

“Did you know the answer to my question?”

“No, sir,” Harry admitted. “I had no clue at all.”

“Then I’d say you read my thoughts. It’s not all that surprising really. I was furious and you were terrified. Both are highly emotional states.”

“But I didn’t do it on purpose.” Harry said. “I didn’t even realize what had happened at first.”

“Yes, I gathered that,” Snape said with his usual condescending smirk.

Harry pursed his lips in annoyance.

“So, is this sort of thing supposed to just happen,” Harry asked nonchalantly. “Or should I have a little control over it?”

“No, Potter, it’s not supposed to ‘just happen’ and yes, obviously you need to learn to control it,” Snape replied testily. “Your problem is that you pay no attention to what your own mind is doing, so it takes you unawares.”

“So how do I learn to control it, sir?”

“Like everything else, it takes practice.”

Harry had a sudden thought.

“How did you know, I’d used Legilimency, Professor?”

“I know what you do and don’t know about potions, Potter.”

“I might have made a lucky guess.”

Snape raised his eyebrows disdainfully at that suggestion but offered no other opinion on the efficacy of wild guesses in Potions class.

“I felt your presence in my mind, of course, so I didn’t consider guesswork as an option.”

“Excuse me, you felt what?” Harry asked.

“Your presence, Potter,” Snape repeated. “Your mind,” he clarified at Harry’s blank look. “A competent Occlumens can sense the presence of a Legilimens in his mind. That’s what makes defense possible.”

“Oh,” Harry said, still not quite understanding what Snape meant.

“Never mind, Potter, we’ll deal with this tomorrow evening in your lesson. Now go before you’re late for class.”

Harry only just made it to Charms on time and was even more distracted than usual, but at last it was time for lunch and Harry, Hermione and Ron made their way to the Great Hall. Hermione broached the subject first.

“Harry, what’s going on?” Hermione asked “You said you wanted to talk to us. Is everything all right?”

“I think so,” Harry answered. He explained what had happened in class and Ron gave a low whistle.

“Now that’s a nifty trick. I wish I could read my professors’ minds. I’d never have to study again. Do you suppose it would work during exams?”

“Ron!” Hermione scolded.

“I really don’t think so,” Harry answered.

“So that’s why Professor Snape kept you after class?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah, he just wanted to talk to me about it.”

“But how’d he know you used Legilimency? You might have actually known the answer.” Ron asked.

“Any good Occlumens would have known,” Hermione said. “I’ve read all about it. An Occlumens can sense the presence of a Legilimens who is invading his thoughts.”

“That’s what Snape said. He also told me I need to pay more attention to what my mind is doing so I don’t go wandering into other people’s thoughts without meaning to.”

“Yeah, I can see where that would be important,” Ron said looking a bit worried. “Er Harry, you haven’t ever… I mean, you’d tell us if you… er…”

“I’ve never read your mind, Ron,” Harry insisted firmly.

“You’re sure about that?”

“Yes!”

“All right, all right, I just wanted to ask.”

***

The rest of the day passed uneventfully in a flurry of classes and homework. Harry was happy to discover that they were no longer studying Jarveys in Care of Magical Creatures, though he wasn’t sure that Glumbumbles were going to be much of an improvement. He certainly didn’t need anything to make him more depressed than he already was.

After dinner, Hermione cornered him and insisted they work on Snape’s essay. That took the rest of the evening to finish, but with Hermione’s help, Harry was confident he’d done a respectable job of it.

***

The next morning Harry followed the rest of his class down to the lake for Defense, pulling his cloak tightly around him against the frigid morning air.

“Same drill as Monday. Same partners,” Ryan announced, his usual buoyant mood unaffected by the cold.

“Er, Professor,” Harry said as diplomatically as possible. “Malfoy and I didn’t do very well together last time.”

“No, Mr. Potter, you didn’t,” Ryan said easily. “Hopefully, you’ll do better today.”

Harry started to respond, but Malfoy stopped him.

“Don’t waste your breath, Potter. Come on!”

They marched off around the lake to meet the other team they were going to duel.

“Look,” Harry said. “We have to find a way to work together.”

“Ah yes,” Malfoy sneered. “Saint Potter holding out the olive branch. Want to make peace, do you?”

“No, I just don’t want to wind up sporting feathers today. Do you fancy spending the next hour and a half getting hexed?”

Malfoy grimaced. “All right Potter, what do you have in mind.”

“We just need to not work against each other. We’re facing Ron and Crabbe, right? Well, I know Ron and I know I can beat him. If you can take Crabbe, we should be all right.”

Malfoy snorted. “I can take down Crabbe. But all the same, we need to be careful. Come on.”

“Where are you going?” Harry asked as Malfoy headed off in the wrong direction.

“Just be quiet and trust me this once, Potter. I know what I’m doing.”

Harry bit back a snide retort and followed Malfoy, who moved as quietly as possible through the bushes. At last, Malfoy stopped and held up a warning hand. Harry stopped, then crept forward to crouch down beside his partner. There was a small stretch of water separating them from the clearing where the duel was supposed to take place. The clearing was empty, but directly in front of them, hiding behind another clump of bushes and watching the clearing intently were Ron and Crabbe.

Malfoy leaned close to Harry. “Expelliarmus on three,” he whispered.

Harry nodded and Malfoy held up his hand, ticking off the count on his fingers. One. Two. Three. They jumped to their feet and pointed their wands simultaneously.

“Expelliarmus!”

Ron and Crabbe were taken completely off guard and their wands went flying.

“Oh well, that’s a fine thing! Sneaking up on us from behind,” Ron declared indignantly.

“Yeah, and I’m sure you two were just resting behind that bush,” Harry responded, feeling no sympathy at all for his best friend.

The rest of the class went considerably better for Harry and Malfoy than the previous one had. They managed to keep their animosity in check and hold their own against most of their opponents. By lunch time, Harry was in high spirits.

“Practice schedule,” Katie Bell said as Harry, Ron and Hermione took their seats in the Great Hall for lunch. She handed a slip of parchment to both Harry and Ron as she continued talking.

“We’re up against Hufflepuff in a little over a month and we need to trounce them. I expect to see everyone giving their all at practice.”

“But you’ve got us skipping lunch three days a week in addition to Saturday morning practice.” Ron protested as he glanced over the schedule.

“Would you rather eat or win, Weasley?”

Ron looked very much as though he thought that eating might take priority, but he didn’t dare say so in the face of Katie’s stern glare.

“Grab something to take with you and let’s go,” Katie said.

“What? You mean we’re starting today?”

“It says Wednesday on the schedule doesn’t it? We’re meeting on the pitch in 10 minutes.”

Katie moved off down the table to collect the rest of the team. Once she was out of earshot, Ron sighed irritably.

“What is it about being Quidditch Captain that makes people go mad?”

“It’s her job to make sure you win,” Hermione said. “Don’t worry Ron, I’ll take something up to the common room for all of you.”

“Don’t bother for me,” Ginny said, shoving a sandwich into her pocket as she got up from the table.

Harry stood up as well. He shoved his own sandwich and an apple into his pockets and gulped down his pumpkin juice.

“Don’t worry about me either. I’ll be fine.”

“Come on Ron, you won’t starve to death,” Ginny said.

“Oh all right!” Ron said. He stuffed two sandwiches into his own pockets then grabbed a tart which he attempted to swallow whole.

“Sab‘ee sub ’atoes,” he told Hermione.

Ginny looked at her brother in disgust then turned to Hermione. “I don’t know what you see in him.”

“Wha’?” Ron asked as she stalked off towards the door.

“Come on,” Harry told Ron as he followed Ginny. He didn’t mind missing lunch at all. He wouldn’t have cared if he missed breakfast and dinner, too. After his poor showing against Slytherin, he was determined to win the next match.

Once everyone had gathered on the pitch, Katie’s instructions were short and simple.

“Bludger practice today. Beaters, I want to see you send everything you’ve got at the others. Don’t hold back. The rest of you keep your eyes open and Harry, I’ll be counting how many times you catch the Snitch.”

They all nodded and mounted their brooms. Harry kicked off hard, determined not to let the elusive Snitch get away. The day hadn’t warmed up much since Defense class and the air was bitingly cold, but Harry loved it. Soaring high above the pitch he felt all his cares fall away as the sheer joy of flying took hold of him. He raced around the pitch, diving and rolling. He dodged a Bludger effortlessly and spied the Snitch darting among the goal posts at the other end of the pitch. He grinned and gave chase. Two more Bludgers came hurtling his way. He dodged one and outran the other, as he picked the little golden ball out of the air with ease.

“That’s one, Potter!” Katie called grinning at him.

Harry grinned back, released the Snitch and watched it disappear behind the stands. The rest of the hour was sheer delight. Harry caught the Snitch eleven times in all and hadn’t been as happy since Christmas. He was so exhilarated he even managed to stay awake through most of Binns’s class and his spirits didn’t begin to flag until he arrived for his lesson with Snape that evening.

***

“Legilimency,” Snape said. “More difficult to master than Occlumency and, if you recall, the main point of these lessons. You have an unfortunate tendency to invade the thoughts and feelings of others, usually without even realizing it and you seem incapable of controlling yourself. In short, your mind is completely undisciplined, which is becoming a serious liability. Regrettably, it is my job to remedy this. So, let’s begin shall we?”

Harry grimaced and drew his wand. He’d been dreading this. He’d never been anywhere near as good at Legilimency as Occlumency and it had been three weeks since he’d last practiced. He was certain this wasn’t going to go well. He concentrated as hard as possible and raised his wand.

“Legilimens!” Harry said.

The memories leaped out at Harry, but they were so intense he could hardly distinguish one from another.

Snape gave Harry a mental shove that made him stagger as the link between their minds was broken.

“That was abysmal, Potter!” Snape scowled at Harry. “You’ll never learn to master your own mind this way. Concentrate and try again.”

Harry sighed. This definitely wasn’t going to go well.

***

“Potter, have you no control at all?” Snape yelled in complete exasperation.

“Apparently not!” Harry snapped back.

They had been at this for well over an hour and Harry had made no progress at all. In fact he suspected he was getting worse. His head was pounding and he had no patience left for his professor’s snide remarks. He was doing his best and was even more frustrated than Snape by his continued inability to control the memories he called forth from his teacher’s mind. He wondered briefly if his professor was doing something to hamper him, but decided that couldn’t be the case. Snape seemed genuinely perplexed and angry.

“Potter, pay attention to what you are doing.” Snape repeated for what had to be the twentieth time. “Legilimency requires subtlety and finesse. You have all the finesse of a Mountain Troll!

“I’m doing my best.”

“Well, you need to do better! Now, try again!”

Harry sighed and tried to concentrate harder. He met Snape’s eyes and raised his wand.

“Legilimens!”

Snape actually flinched this time and instantly repelled Harry’s mental attack.

“Potter, which part of subtlety and finesse don’t you understand?”

Harry sighed again. He had no idea what he was doing wrong. His head was throbbing from the intense concentration and he rubbed his temples in hopes of relieving the pain. He noticed that Snape was doing the same and had a sudden thought.

“Professor,” Harry asked. “Yesterday, you said that you could feel my mind. Can you feel it now?”

“Like a club,” Snape said in disgust.

“Could I be trying too hard?”

Snape’s eyes narrowed as he considered Harry for a moment.

“Possibly,” he said at last. “Relax and clear your mind.”

Harry took a deep breath and did as Snape instructed

“This time when you cast the spell, use no more effort than you would when casting Lumos. Don’t concentrate on anything. Just keep your mind as empty and still as possible.”

Harry nodded. He took another deep breath and raised his wand. “Legilimens.”

Snape’s memories obediently sprang to life, but this time they weren’t nearly as overwhelming and Harry discovered that he didn’t become lost in them as he usually did. He pushed the memories away just as he had learnt to do in Occlumency and they vanished.

“That’s it, Potter! That was much better!” Snape said. “You’ve finally taken the first real step towards learning Legilimency.”

“Let me try again,” Harry said raising his wand. But, Snape shook his head.

“That’s enough for tonight.”

“But, Professor –”

“You’ll be able to manage that from now on. At the moment you need rest. I don’t want you falling asleep in Potions tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.”

Harry left Snape’s office and walked slowly back to Gryffindor Tower. He was excited about his progress in Legilimency and hoped that Snape was right that one day he’d be able to control it as easily as he had learnt to control Occlumency. He had been unnerved by his unintentional foray into Snape’s thoughts the day before. He could imagine getting to the point where he had no control over his mind at all and helplessly read the thoughts of everyone foolish enough to look him in the eyes. Rationally, he knew things probably wouldn’t get that bad, but it still worried him.

Then there was Voldemort.

Harry’s visions were getting worse and not just because they were becoming more frequent. The connection between himself and Voldemort seemed to be getting deeper and sometimes as he lay awake alone in the dark, Harry was terrified that he might lose himself entirely. If Snape could teach him to put an end to these visions, all the time and misery would have been well worth it.