The First Wolves

21. THE END OF PEA

Eight times they had strolled around the circumference of the lake. Pea had glanced at him on multiple occasions to ask a question that would hopefully grow into a conversation, but each time her mouth would fill with clouds of doubt that were muffling her words. She cast her eyes back at the ground. It was no easier for Rufus. Multiple times he had intentionally brushed his hand against hers, but passed it off as an accident, offering a humble apology. He couldn’t believe she was his. After all that had happened to him, he never thought he would be gifted a mate again. He was fearful that his words would shatter this dream. Also, there was the matter of the ugly scar on his face. Was she repulsed by him? When he looked at her again, he saw a tear fall from her eye. He cursed himself for being a fool, although his wolf used stronger insults. Finally, finding his courage, he gently held her elbow, and guided her to a fallen tree trunk.

“I’m sorry, I’m so nervous that I didn’t want to spoil anything with my clumsy words and now my silence has upset you.” Rufus’ frown was a testament to his concern.

“No! That’s not the reason for my tears. I’m happy the moon Goddess took the time to think of me and bless me with a mate. My tears were…I thought of how I would tell you about myself, then I realised I couldn’t because I…I don’t know enough about myself to even tell you my likes or dislikes. All I know about myself is that I can climb well, I can dig for days, and I really like the broth Winnifred made for us last night. I don’t even have a real name.” Pea explained despondently, shrugging in defeat.

Rufus realised that she had left the mine, but still carried the weight of it with her. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he reached out, and held her hand, elated when she smiled at the gesture.

“How did you get the name Pea?” He asked.

“When I was born, Pepin said I had a round face. When I was growing up he would call me the sweet pea in the dark. Apparently it’s a flower. I’ve never seen any type of flower, so I don’t know if the name suits me,” Pea smiled at him shyly.

It was at that precise moment that he knew what he wanted to show her. Reaching out his other hand, he was relieved when her fingers rested on his palm. He smiled, then led her to the secret spot that Otto and Conri had told him about; the meadow filled with flowers.

Amazed Pea explored the hidden glory of the forest with Rufus. Nature’s bejewelled buds were blooming from the ground, impervious to the colder weather. It seemed to have paused in time. Patiently guiding her, he kneeled down next to a white flower that looked like tiny bells lined up in a row on the stem.

“What do you think of this flower?” Rufus asked her curiously.

“It’s beautiful, but very delicate. Look how the petals cluster together for safety, it is as if they are scared of nature’s brutalities,” She answered honestly.

Rufus smiled at her, and nodded, giving no attention to the flower, its beauty diminished in comparison to his mate’s resplendence.

“I couldn’t agree more. It is a sweet pea.” Rufus explained, and Pea blushed, knowing he had taken her words out of context.

He named some other flowers for her, mesmerised by the tender touch she used to feel the petals, jealous that it wasn’t his own skin enjoying her attentiveness. She was perfection, her skin unmarked and scar free, her smile warming the area around them. She was the antithesis of him.

“You are a little older than me by several years, it is a long time to wait for your mate,” Pea commented tentatively, hoping that he would tell her more about his own past.

Rufus turned, needing to look into her eyes, and wanting to be honest with her. He desired to explain his cautious behaviour, but required to see her expressions as he shared his secrets with her, ones he hadn’t even told Otto about.

“Before I was enslaved, there was a she-wolf in my pack. She was like the daisy I just showed you: petite and overlooked by many. I always noticed her though. I came of age sooner than her, so even though I felt our bond, I hid it until she could feel it. I wanted to respect her youth, and let her feel unburdened by the mate bond being one-sided. The slavers came and she was caught early on in our struggle. She became hysterical with fear. Her birthday was only two months away, she was still more human than wolf, and she could cause no harm. I ran towards her, desperate to save her. I managed to hold her in my arms when the slaver brought his gladius down. It sliced through my face and her body. I should have turned and covered her with my body. The slavers killed her, and she died in my arms. I think she realised what we were to each other, before the moon Goddess guided her home. I felt something leave from inside me, but the bond had been one-sided, so I survived. This is the scar I was left with to remind me of my failure.”

Rufus finished his story, and Pea wrapped her arms around him in a comforting embrace.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” she softly whispered.

“Are you upset that I had another mate first?”

“I am only upset that you didn’t get the chance to live that life with your first mate, in your first home,” Pea replied.

“I know my scar is grotesque, but you haven’t looked away from it, most people pretend they can’t see it.” Rufus needed to know how she felt.

She ran her finger tips along his repaired skin, slowly following the path from his forehead to the opposite cheek.

“I see you, I see your bravery, and I see your loss. You think this makes you ugly, and it is a sign of where you went wrong. I see it as a testament that you did everything you could to save your mate, and your biggest regret was that you couldn’t take her place. What can be more honourable than that?” Pea confessed, and Rufus was taken aback by her answer.

Needing to lift the grief that was heavy on both of them, Pea changed the subject.

“What’s your wolf’s name? I heard his roar last night. He sounds strong,” she complimented him.

“Good moon Goddess, he is bouncing around because of your approval, he can’t wait to meet you in his true form. I think we should wait until he is calmer. I don’t want him to frighten you. His name is William.” Pea looked at him seriously, and then held on to his chin as if she was about to scold him.

“Nothing you or William could ever do would scare me,” Pea stated resolutely, causing Rufus to place a kiss on her forehead.

They sat in silence enjoying the feel of their skin upon each other, the hum of the invigorating prickles across their skin had awoke something deep inside them both, something they both thought was never going to belong to them. The missing part of them. Pea pinched the beautiful emerald green leaves that had a lighter colour of spring in the centre. Their robustness was comforting.

“Does this have a name? She asked Rufus, delving her hands into the foliage.

“Yes, it’s called Ivy. It’s hard to kill, and fills all the space that is left bare,” he replied.

“Ivy” She sighed, before turning back to look at him.

“After today, everything that happened in my past will be part of Pea’s life. I’ll take a new name and I’ll never think of the memories, or the life she had. I want you as my mate. I accept our bond completely, so if you want to know anything about the time before we met, now is your time to ask,” She told him with intransigent certainty.

“I only want to know what you need or want to tell me. Nothing that has happened to you in your past would ever make me see you as anything less than perfect, anything other than mine.” He assured her.

She nodded, relieved by his acceptance and uncompromising support.

“Ivy. That is the name I want to give myself,” She decided.

“My glorious mate…Ivy.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips against her own. “Then we only have one thing left to do. “I, Rufus, as undeserving as I am, accept you Ivy, as my mate. This vow I make to you with the Moon Goddess as my witness.”

“I, Ivy, finally free to make my own choices unreservedly and without hesitation or doubt, accept you, Rufus, as my mate. This vow I make to you with the Moon Goddess as my witness.”

Ivy parted her mouth as she indulged in the splendour of this foreign sensation, her first freely offered kiss. Further aroused by his tongue that wrapped around her own, like the trailing plants he had shown her before, she pulled him closer to her. Desire bloomed in her core as he gently lay her on the ground. Like the meadow bursting with colour, her emotions were a painter’s canvas of bright, beautiful feelings. They were so lost in their kiss that only the terrifying scream from the camp prevented their moment from flourishing. Filled with concern, they ran to the camp hand in hand. Neither of them would ever run in the darkness alone again.

After an anxious dash through the forest, Ivy and Rufus rushed into camp, startled by everyone’s fear. Their camp was in upheaval. Winnifred was having wolves carry bags of grain in their mouths, and provisions on their backs, and even if they were rescuing a wolf less pack member, they were loaded with food supplies that the rider would carry. Pepin was helping, making sure that each wolf was taking something with them, and that the system was running calmly so that they could leave efficiently.

“All the wolves who can shift, pick up at least one member, and one pup from Luna Fidella. All ranked wolves attempt to carry at least three pack members. Once you have carried the load you are capable of, run as quickly as your paws will take you towards the north of the forest!” Conri commanded.

The urgency was palpable, and the Alpha’s instruction had caused disarray in some, and admirable efficiency in others.

Rufus sought out his friend, Otto, locating him near the supplies queue with his recently-restored family.

“Rufus, thank the Goddess you found us,” He rejoiced, the worry lifting from him. “Could William take Pea and Anna, while I carry Holda and the scrolls? Adal is taking Bruno and some of his friends.” Otto summarised their plans.

“Actually, my mate’s chosen name is Ivy, and it will be an honour to guard little Miss Anna if she trusts me?” Anna smiled, and nodded at the newly paired couple.

“Shall we see if we can help carry any supplies before we leave, and we can get to know each other better, while William takes us to a safe place?” Ivy asked the young teen, and was pleased to see that she instantly warmed to her.

By the time they returned carrying a little grain and water, both Rufus and Otto had shifted into their respective wolves: William and Amos. William, unable to exercise control, licked Ivy’s cheek before lowering down, so his mate and Anna could climb on. Once he was sure they had held on tightly, he ran towards the north as quickly as he could.

Ivy held on to William’s fur as his paws pounded on the ground. The distance they managed to cover at the speed they committed to would have been euphoric if the situation wasn’t petrifying. The trembling hands clasped around her waist added to the sense of inevitable danger, but Ivy continued to rub her thumb on the teen’s hand, trying to keep her calm. The only thing that was keeping Ivy strong was the visible pumping of William’s heart as he raced them towards safety. She glanced backwards, amazed by the number of wolves fleeing to retain their freedom. Smoke was rising from the camp where she had left the tunic she had arrived in.

“Let it burn. Let Pea, and the past turn to ash, while I race into my new life with my mate and pack.” She thought.