Our Blues

Before we collide

Across room I can hear my friends partying that night, it was one of my friend’s birthday and sadly i had a flight to catch at four in the morning. Before i even know i was at the terminal and sadly no one was there to drop me off.

Who would? Everyone’s dead drunk stuffing themselves on the couch. I didn’t even say goodbye. And i was so excited to go back home after months of ground classes for my pilot training.

Oh it was some good sleep that the cabin crew woke me up from. As i gave a lil yawn, the pilot announce for landing. The excitement and the feeling of being home. Bet i could jump off that plane.

As someone who’s into planes despite how excited i was to be back on my soil,i was the last one to board off and every time i take the opportunity to get a good view of the cockpit and the pilots. I smiled at them as i board off and after waiting for half an hour for my stuffs i finally got to see my parents, raising their hands as i walked out of the terminal.

I was craving for those home cook meals. The first thing i did as i enter my room dropping everything off was run into the dinning area and start stuffing in all that’s laid out like I haven’t eat for days

The next day i did as i landed in my hometown and knowing that i got some good few months to spend in my hometown, i called my best friend and start doing everything I’ve missed for months.

And I won’t be gay if i don’t open Grindr every time i land in a new city. Yeah sure,i did the right thing by opening Grindr. For days it goes on with these weird texts and traps

That noon as i planned to head out with my best friend for a swim. A notification dropped in my Grindr. Was it fate? Why did it even caught my attention?

I don’t even know why i feel like checking his profile. It was all blank. Nothing’s there and the first thing he texted me was “ Is that you in the profile picture”. May be that was what intrigues me. A question I can’t respond!! Even though he has anything to do with me. I swear i won’t want anybody thinking i was catfishing. So i texted back “ yeah so” such a wanna be badass i was.

He said he doesn’t believe it. And that kinda pinch my ego a lil more. Wait sir!!! Someone who has blank for everything on a dating app dares question my authenticity. He was even asking for my pic which was already there in the profile. And I wasn’t someone who’ll initiate things that easily after being asked.

I guess he knew what he had to do, after some minute of utter silence, he sent an image which i was so curious to see but i let my ego won over me and waited for some minute before opening it and it was a time limited image. It’ll destroy after some seconds of me opening it. How boring!!! As if I’m gonna sell him online.

I wonder what will happen between us if I didn’t open his image and ignored him back then. Will he keep on trying?

I wanted to keep him waiting for as long as i can but I’m more curious than a cat. So i opened it and at first I wasn’t so ready to see it, as it could be anything. And then there was this charming guy, it was a selfie. It looks like he’s a pretty bad at taking selfie. But that face, I couldn’t take my eyes off. And then the time limit. Yeah the pic got deleted by itself, I couldn’t even take a screenshot

And now he’s asking mine, after seeing his pic, there’s this flame inside me ready to create a wildfire. It was not some easy thing to control that much of a flame that starts abruptly all of a sudden.

Without even thinking i find myself sending him a picture of me that I didn’t post in my profile. His reply was quick. And to my disappointment he was asking me to film myself telling his name. Before i even know i was already tamed and my badass thing wasn’t there to be found.

In a fluke i found myself filming saying his name and that day i just wanna be at my best in that video. I almost took an hour grooming myself and then finally i sent him. Then there was no reply.

I was on the brink of loosing my sense that i even called off the thing i planned with my best friend. And then there came the notification i have been waiting for hours.

He explained he’s a medical student in my hometown and he’s not native here. Well he had a class in the noon and, as i was taking nearly an hour while sending him the video. He thought i ghosted him. So he went to the class.

That look he got there and on top of that he’s a medical student. It’s not like I’m fantasising it but it’s just type. I’ve always dreamed of someone who knows what they are doing and not someone who’s very much doing whatever in the name of living life.

As i was surfing through my fantasy, he interrupted saying he’s sorry for making me wait long for his reply. What more can i asked! I was so ready to fall for this man before i even knew who he was. The next thing i find myself in was him asking for my number!!! Am i dreaming? Really??

And the next thing i do was waiting for his text from his number. Not long it took for him to get back to me after i just shared my number. Then start the initial phase where everything starts.

From texting, the phone calls , the video calls and it happened for more than a week and i was the one who proposed a meet up plan. He was very hesitant. Ohh i missed this in the intro, he’s very discreet and so am i but not as much as he was. Everything will be his first time.

Sometimes i feel like I’m a rat in his experiment lab. He said he’s not sure and he wanted to see if what he’s feeling is him really feeling it. He’s also very conscious of his friend circles as they are a bunch of straight dudes who won’t really welcome the real him. And he’s very aware of that.

He turned down on meeting up with me thrice. He always has a reason to turned down and finally he set a date for our meet up. Finally hopes shining down on me. But it was after weeks, he’s expecting some results for his exam. He said he doesn’t wanna go out feeling tense about the result. That’s why he set the date after the exam results. Quite reasonable i thought and yeah what else have i got to complain about? I just waited for that day to come.

If i knew what life has laid out for us on our way, i wouldn’t have gone out with him that day.