Trapped (Alpha Sigma Omicron #1)

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER TWO

Inhale. Exhale.

Kinalma ko ang sarili ko. I even fanned myself using my palm. Kailangan ko nang maraming hangin para maging rasyunal ang pag-iisip. I never experienced it firsthand, but I knew those sounds. They were moans of two people doing the nasty. Makamundong ungol iyon nang nasasarapan at naliligayahan sa piling ng isa’t isa. How am I hearing that in Dylan’s private room? Nanonood ba siya ng porn ng ganitong oras?

Wala akong ideya sa mararamdaman ko. I was having mixed emotions. Natatakot ako. Kinakabahan. May confusion at pagtataka. My emotions were all over the place.

Nang maging kalmado ako, I raised my fist to knock on the door. Kitang-kita ang pag-alon ng kaba sa aking kamay. Hindi nito magawang lumapat sa pinto. Nagha-hyperventilate ang buong katawan ko.

I needed to see it myself whatever was happening inside that private room.

Sana mali ang marumi kong isipan. It was not my boyfriend. Baka si Kim? Kim and Dylan? Oh, no. I shook my head.

My hand was trembling as I held the door knob. The moans became clearer, meaner and louder.

“Ahhh... s**t, faster baby, oh… please, t-take me deepeeer…” the girl’s voice was seemingly familiar. I knew that voice, but my mind was too clouded to recognize it.

What am I supposed to feel? What am I supposed to believe? Right now, I was so numb and just wanted whatever s**t I was in to be over. My sweet boyfriend was not capable of cheating on me. Ni minsan hindi niya ako pinaiyak. Why would I doubt now?

Limang taon.

Dylan would not waste five years for nothing. Pinangakuan niya ako ng kasal. Malapit na kaming ikasal. We had plans already. May napili na kaming venue at simbahan.

Hindi… hindi niya magagawa.

I wanted to wake up from this terrible nightmare. Pakiramdam ko bangungot lang ito. Gusto kong pigilan ang mga luhang pumapatak sa mga mata ko. Gusto kong maging matatag sa harapan nila. Gusto kong maging matapang habang kinokompronta sila. But I was not that strong enough to make the tears and the pain stop. It was not even bearable.

 Namamanhid ang buong katawan ko pero hindi magawang mamanhid ng puso kong nasaktan. I can’t even think straight.

Halatang nagulat si Dylan sa paglingon sa gawi ng pinto. He froze on the spot as he saw me outside the door. Just the look on his face, he was guilty. Sobrang sakit noon para sa akin. How could he do this to me?

Binalot naman ng kanyang katalik ang kanyang katawan ng kumot. She smirked. “Surprise!”

Mas lalo akong napaiyak. Why? My mind was asking several whys.

“Ara…”

His voice was supposed to be soft and music to my ear. It wasn’t. It didn’t sound like the Dylan I used to know. He seemed possessed by another persona I didn’t even know existed.

Si Dylan na malambing. Si Dylan na mahal ako. Si Dylan na hindi ako sasaktan magunaw man ang mundo. Asan ang Dylan na iyon? Because this Dylan was not my Dylan. Hindi ko siya magawang tingnan sa kanyang mga mata. All I wanted to do was get out of that hell-hole place I didn’t belong.

“Of all people, I didn’t think you could betray me…” Huminga ako nang malalim. Thankfully, my voice didn’t crack. “Dylan and Xiana… I trusted the both of you.”

Yes, it was my boyfriend and my cousin whom betrayed me. The people I least expected to do something as terrible as cheating.

Pain. Betrayal. Anger. I can’t endure any of that.

Nanghihina man ang mga tuhod ko, tumakbo ako paalis sa lugar na iyon. Pero mas mabilis si Dylan, he grabbed my wrist and he made me look at him.

“Aramis…” Mukha siyang tuliro. Ginulo niya ang kanyang buhok gamit ang kamay na hindi nakahawak sa braso ko. “It’s not what you think it is. It’s nothing, ikaw pa rin ang pakakasalan ko,” there was an unexplainable emotion in his eyes.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Lalo pa’t sa kanya nanggaling ang mga katagang iyon. How could he assure me that after seeing him having s*x with my cousin? He was not drunk. Ni hindi iyon excuse para pagtaksilan ako.

“Kailan pa? May balak ka bang sabihin sa akin?” My lips were trembling asking the questions bugging my mind. Hindi siya nakasagot sa tanong ko. It was breaking me into pieces. More than anger, I felt deeply sorry for myself.

Nanginginig ang buo kong katawan at pagkatao, hinubad ko ang singsing at binigay iyon sa kanya. “Let’s call off the engagement. ‘Wag na tayong maglokohan pa rito. Bistado ka na,” wika ko at tuluyang bumitiw sa kanya.

“What?” He looked incredulously. “You’re being irrational. Pag-usapan natin ito.”

Hindi ko ito pinansin. Sunod-sunod ang mabilis kong yabag paalis ng opisinang pinagmulan nang pagkadurog ng puso ko. He called my name but I didn’t look back. Patuloy pa rin sa pag-agos ang mga luha ko. Ako pa iyong irasyunal.

“Come on, hun. Let us have more fun, I’m still wet and so bitin!” Xiana squealed from the office room.

If only I could shut my ear from hearing her, I would have done it. I was a mess inside. My eyes were puffy. I took a deep breath. Nanginginig ang tuhod ko, minabuti ko munang humawak ng suporta sa table na nadaanan ko. It was Kim’s table – Dylan’s secretary. I clutched my chest for a second. It was pumping hard and fast.

Sobrang sakit.

“Ma’am Ara  ” hindi ko pinanin si Kim, wala akong ideya sa ibang sinabi niya.

When I felt like I could continue walking away from my nightmare, dumiretso ako sa elevator. I closed my eyes as the doors shut.

Some of the employees were looking at me weirdly – alam kong mukha akong tanga. I didn’t care. It was the least of my concerns. I just got my heart shattered.

When was the first time they cheated? Why was I so oblivious? Why didn’t I suspect of anything? Oh, gosh. I hated myself for being stupid, for not seeing the signs. But clearly, there were no signs, no suspicious acts, nothing. He was too good to be true. He was a good guy, I would never ever be suspicious of him doing something behind my back.

My relationship with Dylan was too perfect. Too perfect, maybe, it wasn’t really existing at all. Stupid, Aramis.

Moments ago, I was living my own fairytale. I was engaged and soon to be married. I had a very loving boyfriend. May perfect relationship ako. Now, I was slapped by the harsh reality. Those things were lies. No matter how steady or perfect the relationship was, if he wanted to cheat, he would. Si Dylan ang depinisyon.

Tulala akong naglakad sa walang paroroonan. I was overwhelmed with how fast things happened in Dylan’s office. In a blink of an eye, there were many changes in my life. The most drastic one  from being happily engaged to being a brokenhearted single real quick. I sighed and stopped myself from walking farther.

Horns, they were too loud. My eyes were blinding by the rays. Nagsimula akong magtaka ng lalong lumakas ang paparating na tunog, nilingon ko ang aking paligid.

Gasping for air, I found myself in the middle of the highway with a sports car fast approaching in my direction. Nanlaki ang mata ko nang mapagtanto ko it. I was frozen on the spot, hindi ko magawang ihakbang ang mga paa ko pabalik ng sidewalk. Even if I did, it was too late.

Everything went blank.

***

Nagising akong masakit ang ulo. No, my whole body was aching. Hindi naman sobrang sakit, but I wanted to lie in bed all day. Gusto ko ng pahinga sa bigat ng pakiramdam ko.

I opened my eyes quickly to see the room’s unfamiliar interior design. Hindi pamilyar sa akin ang kwartong kinalalagakan ko. Mainly because, it was not my room. It wasn’t my room in Uncle Lucas’s mansion. Hindi rin ito ang kwarto ng apartment ni Rainbow. Nagsimula akong mag-panic nang ma-realize ko iyon.

It was a black and white theme, iyong couch lang ata ang naiiba ang kulay dahil medyo light brown ito. There was nothing special in the room. Wala itong kabuhay-buhay o kahit anong dekorasyon. Panlalaking kwarto base sa hinuha ko. Teka  what the hell happened? Pinilit kong alalahanin ang nangyari bago ako mapunta sa kwartong panlalaki ang design. Tuluyan na akong napabalikwas ng bangon.

Shit! Nasaan ako?

There, it hit me. Nanghihina akong napaupo sa gilid ng kama. Everything flashed back in my mind  lalo na ang cheating scheme ni Dylan at Xiana. Their moans were traumatic for me. Those were my agony. The memory felt like a nightmare. I wanted to cry again. But I was caught up with another situation. I was hit by a car and supposedly, I should be in a hospital room. I held back my tears, at least not yet. Kailangan ko ng presence of mind. This wasn’t the time to break down.

Muling bumilis ang pagtibok ng puso ko sa kaba. Ilang beses akong huminga nang malalim. Sinapo ko ang aking dibdib para pakalmahin ang aking sarili.

Mas lalong napaawang ang labi ko nang maramdaman ko ang manipis na tela. I was not wearing my formal attire anymore. Tanging shirt lang na may kanipisan ang suot ko. Maluwang iyon sa akin. Tanging undergarments lang ang pang-ibaba ko. Hindi ko suot ang kahit anong short o iyong pencil skirt ko.

Oh my God! Was I molested? I didn’t want to conclude things. Pero bakit ganito ang suot ko? I was almost not wearing anything! I checked myself, pinakairamdaman ko kung masakit ang pagitan ng aking mga hita. Wala akong naramdamang kakaiba. Maybe, it was too small to even deflower me?

Tuliro ako. Then, I laughed. Mababaliw na yata ako. I just felt the ridiculousness of the whole situation. Ganito ba kapag broken-hearted? Kung ano-anong naiisip ng aking utak. Seriously, but thinking the guy who tried to deflower me has small c**k amused the hell out of me. Muli akong natawa.

May pasa at galos ang tuhod at braso ko. Malamang nakuha ko iyon sa pagkabangga ko sa sasakyan. I was expecting of the worst thing. Akala ko ilang araw akong mamalagi sa hospital na may nakakabit na iba’t ibang aparato. The situation was bad enough, ni wala akong ideya kung saan ako dinala nang nakabangga sa akin.

Muli akong tumayo para pakiramdaman ang sarili. Wala namang kakaiba akong naramdaman maliban sa mabigat kong puso at ilang galos. Dumiretso ako sa floor-length curtains at hinawi iyon para makita ko ang kabuuan ng siyudad. I knew, I was still in the city based on the atmosphere and the traffic. Napakataas ng kinatatayuan ng silid. Pansamantalang naaliw ako sa tanawin sa ibaba.

I sighed again.

I was never clueless in my life until this whole charade. Ni hindi ako sigurado kung anong dapat kong maramdaman. Namanhid yata ang buong katawan ko para hindi makaramdam ng kahit ano.

Afraid and lost. Para akong naghahanap ng bagay na hindi ko alam at hindi ko rin alam kung saan sisimulang hanapin. Bago pa tumulo ang luha ko, pinahid ko na iyon. Para rin akong zombie, hindi alam ang katuturan ng buhay, Nabubuhay sa wala at hindi alam ang dahilan. It felt like my whole world crashed.

I wandered around the room. Wala pa ring senyales ng taong nagdala sa akin sa kwartong ito. May isang pintuan doon na sa tingin ko tanging pinto upang makalabas. Kung tama ako, isang condo unit ito or hotel room. It wasn’t cheap. I searched for my things. Luckily, I found them in the bathroom. Sadyang malaki ang kwarto at may sariling banyo. The bathroom was insanely huge as well and it screamed money. Malulula ako kung sakaling maging akin ang gusali.

Dali-dali akong nagbihis. Kompleto ang mga gamit kong nadatnan sa sink. Mukhang mayaman naman ang nakapulot sa akin. Wala nga lang taste pagdating sa dekorasyon.

Inilabas ko ang lipstick kong dark red and wrote something on the mirror. Kitang-kita ako ang asul kong mga matang nakatingin pabalik sa sarili kong repleksiyon habang nagsusulat sa salamin. Nang matapos ako, mabilis pa sa alas kwatrong lumabas ako ng kwarto. Ayokong maabutan doon ng kung sino man. I was too afraid to face the culprit.

Walang tao sa sala. Hindi ako sigurado kung sala ang nilabasan kong pinto I sighed in relief. Nang makalma ko na ang aking sarili, hinawakan ko ang doorknob ng pinto pero natigilan ako ng may tumikhim sa likuran ko.

“Where are you going, lady?” his baritone voice said huskily. Pakiramdam ko’y sensuwal ang dating ng pagkakasabi niya. Mga tipo ng lalaki na makalaglag ng panty. Hindi dapat ako maapektuhan. I can’t deny, his voice was so manly, resonating arrogance and aristocratic dominance. Something stirred inside me. Yum!

Kinurot ko ang braso ko para tigilan ang mahalay na pag-iisip. I was in a stranger’s turf. It meant danger for me.

Ipinikit ko ang aking mata. Humigpit ang hawak ko sa doorknob. “Uuwi na ‘ko,” kalmado kong sagot kahit kabang-kaba ako. Ang bilis ng pintig ng puso ko!

Hindi ko siya hinarap. Natatakot akong harapin ang lalaki. Mahigpit kong kinapitan ang doorknob ng pinto at pinihit ito pabukas. Mabuti na lang at hindi ito naka-lock. Agad akong tumakbo palabas niyon. It felt like I tasted freedom.

Doon lang ako nakahinga. That was close. Mabilis pa rin ang t***k ng puso ko hanggang makarating ako sa malaput na elevator. Oh gosh! I remembered everything that happened back there even my writings on the mirror.

To the man who stole my virginity with his small p***s,

I was not sure how am I supposed to address you properly. Thank you for taking care of me??? Yes, with question marks. Do me a favor, do not find me nor ever talk to me nor show yourself. But thank you, I guess…

Suspect pa rin s’ya kung sakaling may mabuong bata sa sinapupunan ko. Well, what the hell I am thinking?!

Baka nga maliit ‘yong kanya. And somehow, that calmed my nerves.

To be continued...