Longing For Their Luna

Chapter 2-Not so Bad

(Max Pov)

The sound of the alarm blaring rang through my ears, waking me up with a start. Those dreams I cherish so much were instantly ripped away from me as reality slapped me in the damn face. I saw him again last night..he told me those things I loved to hear, those things that were just for me and that I ached and craved for from the depths of my soul. The pain from realizing it was only just a dream began settling in. It's been two years..two years since that horrible night when I lost my dad and it changed everything.

I turned my body, reaching my arm over my head and fumbling for my phone. I quickly switched off the alarm and noticed I had two notifications.

From Mom: Be home late tonight, go ahead and order something for dinner. Love you.

From Nicole: Did you talk to your mom yet about moving back after graduation?

I shut my phone off, placing my arm over my eyes as I let out a shuddering breath. My mom has been out late all week. This was new for her..even though we might not be as close as before all of this happened..mostly on my part...but she had never been this distant..well not since Dad died..those first few months were brutal. I wasn't sure if she was going to make it, to be honest, I wasn't sure if either of us would.

This is our fourth time moving in two years..first, it was Oregon, then Montana, after that Arizona, and now Colorado. Yeah, it's been horrible..not only did my dad die, but my mom went into a deep depression and decided she needed a change. So she uprooted our lives and moved me from the only steady foundation I had. My friends and family...the people who keep me going, even up to this day.

Every school has been different but always ends up the same. I keep to myself, don't really socialize, and get dubbed the freak who wears only hoodies and long-sleeved shirts. It's more for me than them, really..I don't want to look at myself. I don't want to see the reminders of the day my world ended and how I am just existing..this isn't living..it's surviving.

I rolled out of bed, avoiding the mirror as I slipped on my black hoodie and trudged down the hallway. My mom and I lived in a two-bedroom apartment just in town. I miss the woods so damn much..just the fresh air and green trees..here in Colorado we don't have much of that..it's more prairie lands than mountains. Yeah, there are trees but it's like a two-hour drive and I don't do that..I never learned. I walk to school every day since it's only fifteen minutes away. I am seventeen, almost eighteen in a few months, and a senior now, this is my second week of school.

So far it's been okay, I do what I should and get good grades..stay out of trouble, and keep to myself. The teachers seem to like me but the students, not so much. They might not say it to my face but I hear the whispers and see the judgmental stares.

That doesn't bother me though..just one more year, and then I am free to choose. Free to go where I please and where I want to go is back to Washington..I want to go home. I want to see my friends and family but most importantly I want to live close to Dad. We decided to spread his ashes in the woods where we used to go camping. I miss him so much..it doesn't feel right being this far away..I can't stand it.

I walked into our small kitchen and grabbed a yogurt from the fridge..most mornings I'm not that hungry, especially if I had a nightmare the night before. The ones where I relive that night over and over again..I swear I wake up and my scars are throbbing with pain, like my whole body was reliving that moment as well.

I quickly ate before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. I closed my eyes, scrubbing my body quickly as I tried not to look down. I washed my long wavy strawberry-blonde hair and rinsed it just as fast before stepping out and wrapping a towel around my body.

I refused to look in the mirror..I rarely did..I couldn't bring myself to do it this morning. Some days are harder than others..this was one of those days. I brushed my hair out and walked to my room. I quickly slipped on a sports bra and black panties before wiggling into some black leggings, a long-sleeved oversized t-shirt, and a matching hoodie to go over it. My body had definitely grown into my curves, even with my short 5'3" stature, I just never wanted to show it. That's why I wore clothes that were two sizes too big.

I pulled on my sneakers and slung my backpack over my shoulder before walking out the front door and locking it. It was an hour before school started and I usually took my time on my morning walk and listened to music.

I popped in my headphones before switching on my dad's favorite Playlist. The first song that came up was from the Ramones and I raised the volume as loud as possible, trying to drown out the world around me.

I always did little things like this to feel closer to him, to hold on to those memories that I wanted to keep for the rest of my life.

I took a quick left down the sidewalk and lifted up my hood, hiding myself from the passing strangers. I didn't want to draw any attention..I never did..maybe the old Max used to want to be popular and have lots of friends but this Max just wants to get through the school year and try to find a way just to be okay. I will settle for that, I didn't need to be happy, I just didn't want to be this..whatever "this" was.

Suddenly one of my earbuds was pulled out, making me turn my head and be met with warm brown eyes, causing me to blink in confusion.

"Hey, you're Max right?" A boy who I didn't recognize asked, he had light shaggy brown hair with blue streaks in it and tan skin. His lip was pierced and he wore a Grateful Dead t-shirt. He looked really cool..definitely too cool for me.

"Uhh, yeah that's me." I responded nervously..I don't really talk to people much so I feel socially awkward now.

"I thought so, my name's Mitchell. We live in the same apartments...We also have a few classes together." He informed and I just nodded my head before looking back in front of me, not sure how to respond. Suddenly he reached over, grabbed the headphone he pulled out earlier, and looked at me with a lopsided grin.

"Whatcha listening to?" He asked while placing it into his ear and the song 21 Guns by Green Day came on, making his brown eyes widen. Wow..he was cute when he did that.

"Nice, I knew you had good taste in music..I could just tell." His smile widened, causing me to give him one of my own as I looked down at the sidewalk and tried not to blush.

I have never really been approached by a guy before..not one like this. He seemed so cool and outgoing.

We walked the rest of the way to school listening to my music. He talked a lot and I just mostly nodded and answered things vaguely but he didn't seem to mind.

"We should eat lunch together, me and my friends eat outside by the big tree. I will save you a spot." The boy said as we walked through the big glass doors. I noticed a group of people wave over at him. Yeah, I knew those kids..they were the popular kids. The ones I thought stared the most.

"I..I don't eat lunch." I stumbled out, feeling anxious already. It wasn't necessarily a lie either, I just never felt hungry most days.

"Oh, well you can just hang with us if you like." He offered and I couldn't help but bite my lip anxiously..I tried to avoid this..because I know how it ends.

I have seen it so many times. Maybe if I just don't talk about it or act like my life is perfect and my mom and dad just got divorced. That's normal, right? No..I couldn't do that..I was never good at lying, it ate me up inside whenever I lied.

"Look, I'm just..I don't really hangout with people..in general." I blurted, making me want to face-palm as I could see Mitchell trying to hide his amusement.

"Well, if you decide you want to give it a shot..hanging with people that is..you are more than welcome to hang with us." His words were genuine and I couldn't help but look away shyly..what was wrong with me?

"Thanks.." I trailed off before turning and racing to my locker as I shoved my backpack in there.

"Mitchell, come on dude, you coming?" I heard a guy shout, making me glance over and to my surprise, Mitchell was still standing where I left him just staring at me.

He gave me another lopsided grin before waving at me and walking backwards, keeping me in his sight.

"Yeah, be right there dude." He hollered, his brown eyes locking onto mine as my heart began to race. That look he gave me one I had never seen before..what was this guy's deal?

I swear he stared at me until his friends yanked him around and slapped him on the back, teasing him for his unusual behavior. Well, it seemed unusual to me at least...but maybe that's how Mitchell was.

A small smile crept up on me, something that seemed so damn foreign as I tried to compose myself. I can't even remember the last time I felt like this..like I felt like me.. Well, maybe Colorado wouldn't be so bad after all..the fourth time has gotta be it, right? Let's hope so..