Fire and Sweets (Book 3 of Wolves of Milano)

16. Sweet kisses

Kara packs up the paintings Mattias sold the previous day and she decides to go with them to the Gallery. Personal delivery is a fine excuse to see him. If she wants to explore what this thing is between them, she needs to see him more often. Hiding won’t solve anything. Getting answers from him might be difficult, but she’s not the one to complain about it. She never told him anything either. Maybe she could start with a few things that are going on here and that can lead to questions about him? If she doesn’t open up, how can she expect him to do so? Give some, gain some is her motto for today.

‘I hope it works. You opening up and volunteering information? I’ll believe it when I see it.’ Her wolf chuckles.

‘Stop making those noises. It’s unnerving to hear laughter from a wolf.’ Kara tells her wolf. She hates it when the animal does it, so of course the wolf will do it with glee.

‘Deflecting? Nice. Go get him. I want to see the tasty morsel you were so adamant to avoid.’ The wolf is at it again. She likes Mattias, she wants to know what the feelings are. Is it just an attraction or something more?

‘I’m taking the paintings. You’ll have your chance to drool over him.’ Kara smirks at the wolf.

‘You’ll let me out?’ The wolf sounds hopeful.

‘No! I didn’t say that. You have to listen between the lines. It was a metaphor for you to be able to see him, smell him and drool in the private space of my mind. I’m not shifting at the Gallery.’ Kara explains to the animal.

‘Oh…’ The wolf sighs and curls up to nap. She’s got nothing else to do since Kara refuses to shift.

An hour later, she knocks on the door of the small office Mattias has at the Galleria d’Arte Moderna. The surprise on his face makes her smile. He wasn’t expecting to see her. She must admit that he’s great looking, especially with that radiant smile that just lit up his face. She can’t remember the last time someone was so genuinely happy to see her. It’s new, it’s flattering, it feels great. She has her senses opened to allow her wolf to feel him out. To see if his claim is real or not. She will risk her mental health and hope not to meet too many people while she is this vulnerable. She can get overwhelmed fast and that is dangerous, because she can lose control of her wolf. There is no telling what people would do if they see a white wolf in the most unusual place for a wolf to be in. Not to mention she could out the whole shifter community with this.

“Come on in. I’m so glad to see you here.” Mattias beckons to her.

“Yeah.” She sighs and smiles right after. “We need to talk.”

“We do.” Mattias nods. He sets the paintings she brought against the wall and turns back to her with a smile.

“How safe is this office? I haven’t seen many people out in the Gallery at this time.” Kara inquires.

“Not the place to talk. The walls are paper thin.” He answers. “Come on. I know a place.”

He takes her a few flights of stairs up and she wonders where they are going. She knows the building from her study times, but she was never this high up. The surprise of a terrace on the roof is evident on her face. How come she never knew this existed up here? It’s used, she can tell from the ashtray on a small stand. Maybe that is why she doesn’t know about it? She never smoked, she never even tried it.

“I come up here for the view and the peace.” Mattias smiles at her.

“It is stunning.” She responds. “I’ve got so much to tell you, I can’t decide where to start. I gave this whole thing a thought, I asked my mother what to do, my wolf is on board, so…I’ll give us a chance.”

“You just gave me hope.” Mattias smiles brightly. “What does your wolf say? What does she think?”

“She likes you, you are pleasing to the eye.” Kara answers.

“A politically correct answer that tells me nothing. You’re still evading.” He laughs.

“I know.” She chuckles. “Let me tell you a few things about me first, so that you can understand why I act this way.”

“Enlighten me, my good lady.” Mattias bows to her and makes her laugh for real.

“I’m a white wolf. My curse is empathy and telepathy. I can influence minds, if I set myself to do it.” Kara tells him. She sighs and continues: “But it comes with a great cost to me. Other people’s emotions overwhelm me to the point I can’t control my wolf. I learned to close myself off from everything. My nickname in high school was ice princess, because everyone thought I didn't care for anyone or anything while I was just trying to keep my sanity.”

“So that’s why you avoid crowds and people in general! You’re not antisocial, you’re just trying to survive.” Mattias looks at her with sparkles in his eyes.

“Yes. Right now I’m open to you, your emotions are coursing through me at high speeds. You’re happy, excited and high on serotonin. If we could turn that into energy, you could power the city for a day.”

“Oh my God!” Mattias exclaims. “I am happy.”

He grabs her hand and spins her around in a circle. She lands in his embrace and he kisses her senseless. Her emotions are on an absolute high right now and she freezes in his embrace. Giving in was the best thing she could have done. His kiss is demanding and slightly rough, but it’s great. The undertone of pain keeps her grounded. She can feel his emotions mixing with hers and keep control of herself, of her wolf. The brush of fur is tickling her and her wolf is howling with pleasure. The animal is so close to the surface she knows her eyes are glowing blue right now. But she doesn’t need to worry about that. They are alone and he is a wolf, too.

Kara lifts her hands up to his neck and hugs him even closer to her. Any more and she would crawl into his shirt. He was right! They are mates. She can see it now. The golden thread is there to connect them if they let it. To her wolf's great disappointment, she shuts her feelings off. She shuts the connection off and his hands start to feel heavy on her body. His lips are still soft, but she can’t feel it. There is just so much he doesn’t know. It’s not fair to trap him in eternity with her without him knowing what kind of mess her life really is.

“Where did you go?” Mattias whispers into her hair.

“I can’t do this for too long. I might lose control. We have to be careful with that.” Kara answers. “And you still don’t know enough about me.”

“Devana told me a few things.” He tells her. She can hear a crack in his voice, he is sad and disappointed.

“Did she tell you that my Uncle and Alpha is crazy? That he wants to marry me off for a political alliance with a pack nobody needs or wants? Marry me to a guy I have never seen and I don’t really care to see? Ever!” Kara whispers. She is afraid to say all that too loudly. 

“Yes.” He nods. “Please don’t be angry at her. She wanted the best for me. She even told me there is a way to break the mate bond, but I turned her down. I don’t want to be alone, I want you.”

Kara looks at him in wonder. She never even heard of the possibility of breaking a mate bond. Who would even want something like that? She can’t think of a situation for a wolf to willingly give up their mate. It’s just not done. It’s why Vittorio fought the enforcers, why Alessio agreed to a challenge fight even when he’s not a fighter. Why her Aunt Ellena endures Vito, no matter how crazy he is, he is her mate. The misery of losing a mate is too great to do it willingly. She knows Ellena will suffer if someone finds the balls to fight and overthrow Vito.

“Why?” Kara whispers. “Why would someone do that?”

“To get out of a tough situation. To save a life. To free the other from a bond they find impossible.” Mattias answers her.

“I don’t know. I never heard of it being done. Who could do such a thing?” She wonders.

“Veles. That’s what Devana told me. She said it’s painful, but if the bond is not fully formed, it hurts less.” He explains to her. “Not that I would want to do it, but if you find it impossible to be with me, I’ll set you free.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “Don’t think like that. Mate bonds are sacred. Even my Uncle has to see that.”

“What if he doesn’t care? What if he insists that you marry that other guy? Could you be miserable for the rest of our lives? Or would you take the out she offers?” Mattias inquiers of her.

“I don’t know. I’m not a fighter. I can't win a challenge. Even if he would allow one to happen, I am bound to lose. It's physical, no weapons or powers allowed.” Kara sighs. “But I will fight this arranged marriage. My mother is doing her best to delay everything. She vanished. She convinced a few other elders to go into hiding as well. He can’t make any decision this big without all of the elders present.”

“How long can she do that? Can he just decide to lead the pack in absolute Alpha power? No elders needed? Do you know your pack laws well enough? Is that an option he can exercise?” Mattias asks her.

“Oh my God!” She exclaims. “I have to call my mother. I never gave much thought to pack laws, but she is the Beta and she knows everything.”

“A Beta’s daughter?” Mattias chuckles. “And powerful in your own right. I’m glad. This makes things a bit less complicated.”

“Oh? In what way?” She wonders, since he has yet to tell her anything personal.

“With everything I can’t tell you about myself.” He smiles. “Do you know the laws of an Alpha command?”

“Yes, I do.” Kara laughs. “If I ask the right questions, you can bypass the command and tell me things. Yes or no answers are best, because you don’t actually have to say anything.”

“Good.” Mattias smiles at her. “Because I’m not allowed to tell you anything about me, but you can ask. Just do it the right way.” 

“I will hold you to that.” Kara chuckles. “But I have to go now. With my mother in hiding, I have to run the restaurant.”

“Mhm, complications.” He winks at her. At least he is not mad at her for leaving him here. He even waves after her and sends her air kisses. What did she ever do to deserve this man? is he really so understanding? He didn’t throw a fit, he didn’t shout at her revelations. He just listened and accepted things as they are. He is not afraid of her. She never once caught the stench of fear. He adores her, he likes her, he desires her. Maybe it’s love, but she thinks it’s just too soon to tell. The bond is there like he said, but it still needs work. It needs acceptance from both of them. She wishes it would be that easy, but nothing is in her life. She has to get out of the arrangement her Uncle made, to be able to accept the bond with Mattias.

She will have to fight, even if she doesn’t want to. But maybe he is a fighter? She could select him as her champion. Her whole pack knows about her curse, that alone is reason enough to have a champion fighter and not do it herself. There are so many things she still doesn’t know about him. She needs to come up with good questions till the next time they meet, if she wants answers at all. Fated mates is just not enough, she needs more. She knows he’s not a lone wolf, he just confirmed it when he told her about the Alpha command he is under.