Death & Back

Chapter 3

3

Before she could take a breath, a second large wave dumped Amira and the others into the sea. Under the water, it was a chaotic tumble of arms and legs and terrified faces, kicking and fighting for space, for air, for life. Amira popped out onto the surface. A large, diagonal wave rolled towards her at speed. A deep blue juggernaut that picked her up and carried her backwards. Saltwater stung the inside of her nostrils. She swallowed a mouthful and gasped for air in the freezing Aegean.

Some refugees made for shore—chopping their way through a three-quarter mile swim. Others flailed and thrashed, going nowhere but down.

The life jackets were not up to the task. Amira was sure hers was faulty—only half inflated—and hers wasn't the only one.

Amira's instinct was to kick for dry land, but she couldn't help looking for that little girl and her ageing relative. She didn't see the older woman, but she did see the girl. Twenty metres to her right, caught in a mess of panicking bodies.

The girl screamed for help between gulps of water, unable to stay afloat. A large, frantic man dragged her down with him, her lifejacket ripped from her tiny body.

Amira front-crawled towards the girl, attempting to cut through the crowd. But it was useless. A wall of wheeling limbs slapped into her head and shoulders. She pulled away and hurried to unfasten the string tie around her lifejacket.

Her hands trembling underwater, Amira loosened the tie. She pulled her lifejacket over her head and let it float away. She wrestled herself out of her soaking black coat, seeing the girl forced under as another large wave rolled in.

Amira took a deep breath.

Before the wave could carry her further from the girl, she ducked under the surface, diving a metre down. Moving free from the constraints of her lifejacket, she kicked beneath the swimmers.

Eyes open, Amira saw the girl slip below the surface, her stick thin legs kicking in vain.

She swam hard towards the girl. Caught her as she dropped deeper and made for the surface. They emerged together into a clear stretch of water. The girl cried for her grandmother, coughing up water. Amira held her close and looked around. Saw only people heading towards shore. She turned again. The capsized dinghy rushed towards them. Amira told the girl to take a deep breath. She pushed the child's head under the water and followed her down.

The dinghy drifted overhead like a dead whale. Amira saw lifeless bodies caught beneath the capsized boat. She covered the girl's eyes until the dinghy passed by. She dragged the girl to the surface once more. They took a collective breath.

"We have to swim," Amira said, turning onto her back and holding the girl above the water. "Help me," she said, her teeth chattering.

Together they swam backwards towards the shore, riding the tide. The current was merciful, taking them in to a small beach, rather than the rocks on either side of the cove.

As they reached the shallows, the water grew warmer. The sun rose higher in the sky. Amira felt her shoulder blades drag against the sand below the water. Yet the surf hit the pair hard as waves rushed in, one on top of the other.

Amira fought to her feet, pulling the girl up. The waves smashed into her legs, already shaky from the swim. She fought against the tide, carrying the girl and wading onto the beach.

Every step sapped more of her strength, the wet sand like glue, sucking at her feet. Exhausted and frozen, her sickness had abated the moment the dinghy capsized. Amira dropped to the dry, fine sand further up the beach. She lay next to the girl and looked along the shore. A pile of lifejackets discarded. Some of the surviving passengers already moving on. Others sitting with heads in hands, or screaming out to sea, mourning lost loved ones.

The girl sobbed gentle tears, curled in a shivering ball. "Grandma . . . Where is Grandma?"

Amira sat up. She put an arm around the girl's shoulders, holding her close. "Your grandma is gone," Amira said. "I'm sorry."

The girl cried into the pink shirt stuck to Amira's goose-pimpled skin.

"We have to go," Amira said, hoisting the girl to her feet against her will.

The child wept and wailed, hysterical, fighting to collapse to the floor.

Amira wouldn't let her. She shook her by both arms, raising her voice. "We live with what we have," Amira said, then quieter as the girl calmed down. "Together, agreed?"

The girl looked into Amira's eyes. Hair stuck wet to her head and neck. She shivered as if absorbing electric currents. Yet she nodded in agreement.

"I won't leave you," Amira said, putting a palm to the girl's face. "I promise."

Hand in hand, they staggered in the footsteps of the others, coating their feet in dry, fine sand. The line of survivors snaked upwards, between the rocks of wherever it was they'd landed. The sun shone on their backs. It also twinkled off the frothing shallows of the cove, where dead bodies and dinghy washed ashore.