The Wolf Within

Chapter 5

Alandra

   I was in the kitchen, swaying to the music blaring from my phone, cooking the special dinner. I wanted to convey to my mother how sorry I was. I never go against and yell at my mother, it was so unlike me. And I knew her favorite meal, made by her favorite person, would do just that.

    When I think about the reason why I blew up, I can't help but chew the inside of my cheek. Yes, I blew up at her, but she was the one trying to uproot our entire life out of nowhere. With no explanation. How else was I supposed to react?

    Although, today, I wouldn't bring it up. I didn't want to ruin the special moment by arguing what she felt was 'best' for me with this move. I have zero clues about what would make her want to do this, but I will get to the bottom of it. Another day.

    For now, my biggest concern was if I should tell her about my date tomorrow. I'm old enough to make my own choices, and to do date whoever I want. I am practically an adult anyways. 

    Ok, so I had a month to go before my eighteenth birthday, but it was still close enough.

    So, therefore, I decided I wasn't going to ask for her permission to go on this date. I was just going to tell her. In passing. Quietly.

    I was plating the dinner when I heard the front door open and my mom huff dropping all her stuff. 

    "In here mom!" I took off the cooking apron and grabbed the plates heading to the table. 

    She smiled at me and sat down as I placed the food in front of her. I sat down beside her with my own plate smiling at her. She c****d an eyebrow at me in suspicion. 

    "What is this for?" She asked as she slowly placed a napkin in her lap. 

    "I just wanted to apologize for the way I acted yesterday. Your my mom, and no matter what, I shouldn't have had yelled at you." 

    A smile spread across her lips and she took a bite of her steak nodding in approval.  I perked up at that, ecstatic I did a good job. 

    We sat in silence for a bit, enjoying each other's company while we ate. I suppose now is a good time as any.

    "I'm going out tomorrow. Like... on a date." 

    "Oh? With who?" She said and looked up at me from her plate. A smirk threatening to spill over.

    I blushed profusely. "It's a guy I just met. I think he's new in town." 

    She froze suddenly, putting her utensils down. She dabbed at the corners of her mouth before placing the napkin on the table. "New? What's his name?"

    I had to rack my brain for a moment, her coldness shocking me. "Jonathan Warrant I think? He seems really nice and he invited me out to dinner and..." I trailed off as I saw my moms' eyes narrow at me. 

    She was clenching and unclenching her jaw. Something she only does when she's really furious. 

    Uh oh

    I sighed and placed my own utensils down, ready for whatever she was going to yell at me for now. To my surprise, she didn't yell. She just took a deep breath and calmly said no. 

    Of course, I was taken aback, because the choice wasn't hers, I am just surprised she didn't start with yelling. But it's still early on in the conversation.

    "I appreciate your input mom, but it's not really up to you." I try to say as calmly as possible. If 

I wanted her to treat me like an adult, I had to act like one. 

    My mom chuckled and took a sip of her drink and folded her hands in her lap. "The answer is still no Alandra."

    "And I'm still telling you, it's not up to you mother." I cross my arms over my chest. I was not going to budge on this. 

    She pinched the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath, "Aside from the fact that you do not know who this man is, did you forget that we are moving in a day, therefore you won't have time for a date?"

    Was she insane? She still thought I was going to move after yesterday?! I scoffed at the notion and shook my head. "I already told you, I'm not moving."

    "Alandra..." 

    "No! DO NOT Alandra me! You're still trying to control my life!" I was shouting again. So much for makeup dinner. 

    She stood up and slammed her hands down onto the table. "DO NOT raise your voice at me! I am your mother! I'm only trying to do what's best for you!"

    It was my turn to stand up. "What's best for me?! You mean what's best for you! YOU made the choice to leave! not me! You didn't consider what I wanted for one second!" I felt my body heat up, like someone had lit a fire inside my chest. My mom saw me start to tremble in anger and she tried to reach out for me but I took a step back.

    "Alandra, you don't see it now, but someday, you will. I promise." She said still trying to place a hand on me. I kept sidestepping her till I had enough and started walking away. I needed air. 

    "Alandra! Don't you dare ignore me!"

    "Just leave me alone. I need space!" I say as I'm trying to make my way to the front door. I was burning now and I needed cool air. My head was starting to throb. 

    "What has gotten into you?" She grabs ahold of my arm and spins me around. I grimace at her, not wanting to deal with her at this moment. 

    When my mother saw my face she gasped and covered her mouth. I was puzzled at what would make her react that way. I tried to look in the mirror hanging on the living room wall, but she stepped in front of me. Blocking my vision. 

    I was about to ask her what was her problem. but then I saw it. Or, at least I think I saw it. Right where my eyes should've been, instead of my usual hazel, they were an ice blue. I yelped and jumped back, starting to have a full panic attack. 

    My mom rushed to me and caressed my face, ensuring me that everything is going to be just fine. She mumbled something about my pills, and I just pointed to my bag. Had I taken them today? 

    She ran over and dumped all my stuff out and grabbed my pills shaking out two. I shook my head not wanting the burning sensation to be added to my already on fire body. I just needed to cool off. 

    Before I could do anything, my mom was trying to force the pills into my hands for me to take. She was looking more frantic than usual. Everything seemed to be in a blur and her voice sounded muffled. All I could hear was my ragged breathing and my heart racing. 

    I shook my head again but she forced them into my hand. Once I had them in hand, she ran to the kitchen to get me something to drink it down with. And I ran outside.

    I could hear her calling after me in a frantic panic, but I didn't look back. I silently said sorry and ran as fast as I could down the street. 

    Running felt great. Not just because the cool air felt great on my burning skin, but I could feel this primal need being fulfilled. I ran out of my house in my haze with no shoes, no socks, just my bare feet. And every time my foot came down and touched the earth, it was like a buzzing sensation.

    Like alerts were going off all over my body. I felt giddy from the run. I'm not much of an athletic person, in fact, I'm the worst kind. I hate getting sweaty and working out. But this felt like living. I could feel my muscles bunch and release with every stride.

    I could feel my lungs expand and fill with the crisp cool air. The wind whipping my hair all around. The joy I felt within me, was unrecognizable. I couldn't recall the last time I felt this free and happy.  

    I let my body guide me and just went where ever my heart wanted to go. I turned off the streets at one point and went into the forest. The wet cold grass tickling my feet. Branches barely grazing my skin as I ran. 

    After a while, I came to a stop in front of this giant willow tree. I loved willow trees. The way they dropped down and flowed. I pressed my back to the trunk of the tree and slid down it trying to catch my breath.

    I brought my knees to my chest and took slow breaths, taking in the scents around me. My heart felt full. 

    Everything seemed at peace. It was late in the evening at this point, so I didn't expect there to be much life in the forest. From my understanding, forest life ended when the sun starts to set. 

    This was my first time in the forest though. My mother never let me enter it. She said it was dangerous, and that there were wild animals that could kill people. I'm not sure how much of that was true seeing as I've never heard about or seen anyone in town talk about wild animals killing people.

    My mom... My heartache. I looked down at my palm where the pills still were.

    She was really trying to make me leave. I only had a few months of school. Why did she have to do this? Why did she feel she could control my life? Yes, my mother can be a tad bit controlling, but nothing like this. 

    My mother was kind and caring. Not argumentive and controlling. Well, I suppose she would say the same about me. I was the one going against her. Something I would never do.

    But was it fair to say that about myself? This wasn't just a small matter. This was my entire life she was trying to mess with. But did that make my reactions ok?

    I couldn't decide. 

    A part of me felt like I was doing the right thing. That my mother's controlling ways was making me feel caged. And I didn't like that.     

    The other part of me, felt like I was wrong. My mom has never pushed for anything this much. She has never tried to force an issue on me. So she had to have a good reason. Maybe she did know what was best for me? I just wish I knew why she was doing this.

    I sighed heavily and shoved the pills in my mouth, taking them dry. The burning that accompanied the pills was a little more unbearable than usual. I had to clench my jaw to stop myself from crying out. My fingers digging into the dirt as I waited for the pain to subside. 

    There had to be another way to fix my anemia problem. These pills were becoming harder and harder to take. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. 

    Once the burning pain went away, I felt my body go back to normal. All that I felt now, was stupidity and fear.

    I ran off into a direction I'm not sure of, and ended up in the forest, that I've never been in before! What was I going to do now?!

    The only thing I knew for sure was this willow tree. But, I'm not entirely sure from which direction I came from. I didn't even grab my phone when I left so I was really out of luck. 

    That freeing feeling didn't feel so free anymore. I was trying to keep it together. I was on the verge of panic mode. I would get angry and run senselessly into the forest like some damn cartoon princess whose parents told her she couldn't marry a guy she just met. 

    Looking around me, I noticed how quiet it was. Night had fallen and all you could hear was the occasional cricket.

    What did I get myself into now?

    Deciding that now was not a time for a pity party, I got up, dusted off my skirt, and picked a direction to walk in. 

    I figured since my heart led me here, maybe it will lead me out. 

    So I started walking aimlessly, hoping I would stumble upon some trail, or maybe a camper. Anything that would lead me back to town. 

    Instead, there was an owl, and, what I hope, was a cat that hissed at me. The temperature was really starting to drop, and I was paying for not putting on shoes before I left. Every step felt like I was stepping on ice. How did this feel so good earlier? I just had to be insane.

    After walking around for thirty minutes and still not finding anything helpful, I paused to look around me. Maybe if I focused, my vision would clear up some and I could see a light or something? It really didn't help that the forest was now pitch black. 

    While I was scanning my surroundings for hope, I heard a twig snap. I froze and my heart started to race. There was a crunching sound of leaves being stepped on. Could someone be out here? Could I be saved? Or was I in danger?

    The crunching sound got closer and I turned around slowly to see a dark figure approach me.