Last of the Living

4

4STUART

WEDNESDAY 27 MAY – 8:35am

Today ’ s the day it changed. Today it stopped being something on TV I can just switch on and off when I feel like it. What ’ s happening out there is serious, the implications vast. I ’ ve tried to keep it from Gabby and the kids because there ’ s nothing they can do. I ’ ll try to preserve their normality for as long as I can but, if I ’ m right, in the next few days their world will inevitably begin to fall apart. Everything will start falling apart.

I ’ ve been scouring the dark recesses of the Internet again, looking for information. Gabby thinks I ’ m looking at porn, because every time she gets close I shut the laptop case fast. I wish that was all I was doing.

I ’ ve found a link to a load of footage from South Sudan and other countries nearby. I ’ ve seen whole swathes of land left desolate with just the infected left there to roam. In one clip, it was taken live on a phone and streamed elsewhere, some guy stumbled into a village where there were twenty or thirty of them just drifting, looking like they were in some kind of trance, a weird malaise. But then, when they saw the guy who was filming, they stampeded after him, racing with each other like they all wanted to be the one to infect him. I was shaking when I stopped watching, because I know that ’ s coming over here.

It ’ s not just Africa now. Parts of Russia are the same, and India and Pakistan too. Now it ’ s spreading across Europe, though you wouldn ’ t think so if all you watched was the mainstream media. The rise in case numbers in those regions has been exponential, and I can ’ t see how anyone thinks they ’ ll get this situation back under control. It ’ s just a question of time.

Gabby thinks I ’ ve got an off-site meeting this morning. There is one, but I ’ m not going. I ’ ve got more important things to do. I know she ’ ll be out all morning. I wait until she ’ s taken Nathan to school, then head out myself. Just have to hope that the schools are open and that they ’ ll be okay. I ’ d rather we were all at home together, but I need the space. I need to do this.

I ’ m a few steps ahead of the game. I ’ m still questioning myself constantly, wondering if I ’ m overreacting, but I know in my heart I ’ m not. See, I ’ ve always known this part would be key to surviving the s**t that ’ s about to hit the fan. Most people are still going about their day-to-day business like nothing ’ s changed, and I almost envy their ignorance. There ’ s no avoiding it, though. Something terrible is coming.

I drive to the wholesalers we use at work and start doing the thing I ’ ve always dreaded. I ’ m stocking up for the apocalypse. Part of me feels like an i***t, like I ’ m the one who ’ s got this wrong. I can see people looking at me, thinking I ’ ve lost my f*****g mind, but all I have to do is picture the faces of my wife and kids to keep me focused and on task. They ’ re all that matters. The lad on the till looks at me as if I ’ ve gone crazy. Who knows... maybe I have?

I load everything into the back of the car, then go straight back in again for more. This time even more of the staff have clocked what I ’ m doing. None of them are completely stupid, they ’ re just not ready to accept that their old lives are coming to an end and that a much more uncertain future now lies ahead, if any future at all. This time as I work my way around the warehouse, I know they ’ re all watching me. Half the staff are thinking look at that f*****g i***t . The other half are thinking, should I be doing that?

I have to move fast. The development is at its quietest at this time of the morning and I reverse onto the drive of our house and unload everything into the garage, satisfied there are no prying eyes watching. It ’ s almost too quiet. There ’ s a guy in one of the small terraced houses across the way who says goodbye to his girlfriend then acknowledges me, but other than him I don ’ t see anyone else. The development ’ s only two-thirds built, but it doesn ’ t look like many of the builders turned up to work today.

Now I head straight back out again, this time to the DIY store. It ’ s no good getting in all those supplies and not taking steps to make sure the house is secure. I buy sheets of plywood, fencing, padlocks and chains, industrial-size containers of bleach and other cleaning agents. The teller puts everything through. She ’ s polite enough, but I can tell from the look in her eyes that she ’ s uneasy. Does she know what I ’ m doing? The combination and quantities of stuff I ’ m buying is a dead giveaway. She knows the axes aren ’ t for cutting down trees, and this black rubber sheeting ’ s not for lining a fish pond.

I get everything unloaded with just a couple of minutes to spare before Gabby gets home. It ’ s only taken just over an hour. I ’ m still putting the last of it away when she pulls up on the drive with the kids. She doesn ’ t have a clue why I ’ m here. ‘ What ’ s wrong, love? ’ she asks me. ‘ Aren ’ t you well? ’

‘ I ’ m fine. How come you ’ re all back? ’

‘ Not enough teachers at Nathan ’ s school so they closed it. Never mind that, Stu, why are you home? Don ’ t tell me they ’ ve made you redundant? You said there was a chance... ’

I shut the front door. Nathan goes up to his room. The baby ’ s asleep and Sally ’ s immediately occupied by the TV, so I sit Gabby down in the kitchen and try to tell her things how I see them. ‘ I think this is bad, Gab, really bad. ’

‘ What? ’

‘ The sickness. I think it ’ s a lot worse than people are letting on. ’

‘ Come on, Stu... are you for real? Something like this happens every few years. A couple of weeks ’ time and it ’ ll all be forgotten and they ’ ll be onto the next health scare. Honestly, love... this isn ’ t like you. You ’ ve been working too hard. Do you need to take some time off? Maybe we should —’

‘ There ’ s nothing wrong with me, Gab. For the record, I hope you ’ re right. I hope I have got this wrong, but I don ’ t think I have. Watch the news, read between the lines... they know what ’ s coming, they ’ re just not saying. They don ’ t want people panicking. ’

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. What ’ s she thinking? Does she believe me, or does she think I ’ ve lost it? Is it easier to believe that than accept the truth? ‘ You ’ re wrong. ’

‘ I ’ m not. ’ I slide my laptop across the table towards her. ‘ Here, have a look. You have a look at what ’ s happening in Russia, then go back a couple of weeks and see how it started there. Look at South Sudan and South Africa. Look at Chad and Nigeria. It ’ s the same bloody pattern. A few isolated cases – like that woman in the supermarket, remember? – then more and more. Then it all changes in a couple of days. It spirals out of control. ’

‘ But it ’ s not out of control in Russia. ’

‘ Just look at the news, Gab. ’

She does what I tell her and her eyes widen when she sees the reports I was looking at earlier. Hundreds of cases have become thousands overnight. Maybe it ’ ll be hundreds of thousands by this time tomorrow. Maybe it ’ ll be more.

She shakes her head, shuts the laptop, and slides it back my way. ‘ This doesn ’ t prove anything. It ’ s just scaremongering. I ’ m more worried about you than anyone in Russia, love. I think you ’ re putting yourself under too much stress. You ’ re starting to sound paranoid. ’

‘ I ’ m not paranoid. This is real, I know it is. ’

She gets up and walks over to the kitchen window. She sees the pile of papers I ’ ve left on the counter; the receipts from this morning. She starts leafing through them, and I know exactly what ’ s coming next. ‘ Stu... what the hell have you done? ’

‘ What do you think? ’

‘ I think you ’ ve blown our food budget for the next three months. Christ, love, we ’ re struggling enough as it is. You ’ re the one who ’ s always lecturing me about the cost of living, and you go and do this? ’

She ’ s doing this on purpose, because fighting with me is easier than facing what ’ s coming next.

‘ We need to talk about this, Gab. ’

‘ Damn right we need to talk. Bloody hell, when I think of all the grief you ’ ve given me since we moved... all that bullshit about tightening our belts and cutting costs... then you go and do this? I give up. And you still haven ’ t answered my question, why aren ’ t you at work? ’

‘ That ’ s not important. What ’ s important is trying to —’

‘ Not important! What if Ray finds out and you lose your job? What happens then? What happens if we can ’ t pay the mortgage and feed the kids and... and why are you looking at me like that? ’

‘ Sit down again, love, please. ’

She refuses. I make her a coffee. Her face is streaked with tears. She dabs at her mascara with a tissue. ‘ I think you ’ ve gone crazy. Absolutely bloody crazy. It ’ s just a flu virus. ’

‘ It ’ s more than that and you know it. The flu virus is a red herring, I told you that the day before yesterday. It ’ s because of the flu virus that so many people ’ s immunities are low, and that ’ s why it ’ s spreading so quickly. The hospitals are overcrowded... the whole health system is stretched to breaking point. Take Sally ’ s booster jab, for example. When was the last time a routine appointment like that was cancelled? ’

‘ Never, ’ she admits, thinking it over. Then she turns again. ‘ You ’ re making huge assumptions, though. Just because it ’ s happening in other countries, doesn ’ t mean it ’ s necessarily going to happen here... ’

‘ It already is happening, love. Have you seen the news this morning? It ’ s the exact same thing. Same as India. Same as China and Russia. And there are reports from the US and Canada too... They said it would never happen there, remember? As recently as last week they were saying they had it all under control... now look. There ’ s no reason to think it won ’ t happen here. ’

‘ But they said we were safe. They said it wouldn ’ t happen here. They said they ’ d be able to contain it and because we ’ re an island they said there ’ s no way it could —’

‘ We talked about this. It ’ s always the same. What were the people on TV supposed to say before today? The truth ’ s unpalatable sometimes, but we have to stay positive and look on the bright side here, love, because —’

‘ There ’ s a bright side? ’

‘ Yes, there ’ s a bright side. We ’ re ready for this and we ’ re together. I ’ m going to do everything I have to do to keep this family safe. I won ’ t let anything happen to any of us. ’

I wait for her to say something, but she doesn ’ t. She knows I ’ m right. She starts crying. I take her hand and hold her tight, then show her the garage. It ’ s piled high with stuff, and for a second the sheer amount takes even me by surprise.

‘ Jesus... ’ she says under her breath, and I explain.

‘ Enough food to keep us going for a couple of months if needs be. Medical supplies for every eventuality. Water purification tablets, cleaning products, disinfectants, detergents... everything we ’ re likely to need and a lot more besides. ’

‘ What ’ s... ’ she starts to say. She stops and composes herself. ‘ What ’ s all the wood for? What are you making? ’

‘ Not making anything. It ’ s to help secure the house if we need to. Strengthen the windows and doors, that kind of thing. We might need to keep people out as well as keeping us in. I told you, I ’ m not taking any chances, Gab. You four are all that matters to me. ’

Back to the kitchen. Sally appears from out of nowhere, face full of snot. I grab a tissue and wipe her clean. ‘ Hungry, ’ she says.

‘ I ’ ll get you something, ’ Gab tells her. Sally watches as she makes her a Marmite sandwich.

‘ Mummy sad? ’

Gabby wipes her eyes. ‘ Mummy ’ s okay, ’ she says.

‘ Mummy sick? ’

‘ No, Mummy ’ s fine. ’