Alpha's Legacy (Black Moon Saga Book 3)

23. A Hidden Talent

As I’ve been lying here crying into a pillow that isn’t mine, on a strange bed in a foreign packhouse thinking over everything that just happened with Lee, Margot, and the whole mess in the Alpha’s receiving room, there’s something that’s been troubling me more than the rest.

Lee didn’t know Margot was waiting for us in that room until we went in.

If she was still his mate, he’d have smelled her before then, right? He should have had his first clue out in the hallway, before the door even opened. Especially since he’s an Alpha wolf, and their senses are far keener than other types of wolves. And if she’s his mate, she should have one of those powerful mate scents that he should have picked up long before he did. His wolf should have been agitated and sensed that she was nearby, but he didn’t.

I don’t know what that means. It probably only means that I’m still too naïve and hopeful for my own good, lying here clinging to hope that Lee could still possibly turn out to be mine when I have no business doing so. Even if he is, Alpha Magnus is going to have him mated to Margot before I can prove it, and there will be no going back after that, not unless Lee wants to suffer the humiliation of having to admit the mistake to his people.

It does feel like a mistake, though, and I don’t think it’s just in my head. If Margot was truly meant to be his, then how could he sit there and deny her to her face like that? He was still choosing me, even with all those important, powerful people looking on, and with his supposed fated mate right there to challenge him. But that doesn’t feel as good as it should.

In fact, it feels awful. If it’s true that Lee wanted me but now he’s going to be forced to have her, then I feel terrible because I’m pretty sure it’s my fault. I was the one who clued Margot in on what was going on between us. If I hadn’t, we only would have had my father to contend with, and even if we ultimately ended up deciding to part ways, it wouldn’t have gone down as messy as it just did.

And now my own sister hates me. I’m certain of it, even though I feel like I don’t deserve it. Nobody told me that it was her who was his mate. As much as I feel responsible for the whole mess, I’m also angry about that part. Neither my sister nor my … whatever Lee was before he became nothing to me, courtesy of our fathers … bothered to tell me about their connection, though they both had opportunities when they should have.

There’s a soft knock at the door to my room, and I know just from the familiar, tentative sound of it that it’s my father. Alpha Eramund, the people call him, though he’s no Alpha wolf. Far from it. His title is merely a courtesy born from his connection to my powerful Alpha mother.

Really, people should call him Luna Eramund. Alpha fits for Tian and Adam, but my father’s wolf is a deep bluish gray, with mystical spots and swirls of color through his fur that remind me of the moon and stars in the night sky. He’s small and rather delicate, but beautiful in his own unique way.

But none of that matters right now. Right now, he’s coming in here to talk to me, though probably not to scold me for rudely leaving the room because scolding isn’t really his thing. What is his thing is talking in circles about things that no one but him understands, and I’m not sure that I’m in the mood for it right now. Frankly, I’d rather the scolding.

To my surprise, it’s not only him who joins me. Tian is with him, though my mother is not. According to them, she’s still discussing things with Alpha Magnus. Probably about when and how they plan to mate Margot to my boyfriend.

“We just wanted to see how you were, Anna Jade,” Tian tells me gently, coming to sit beside me on the bed.

I can feel his thigh crowding into the space near my head though I still have my face mostly in the pillow, and a second later, he’s stroking my hair. My father is pacing the room, restless and stuck in his head as usual.

“I’m perfect,” I tell them sarcastically. “Everything is great. I had a wonderful time out with Lee, and I’m just so thrilled to be having this family reunion now.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Tian admonishes me softly, though his tone is warm and sympathetic. “I know you’ve just been through something painful and possibly even traumatic, and I don’t expect you to be feeling any differently than you are. I’m more checking in with you to offer my support than anything. I didn’t see this coming. I promise you that.”

“Someone did,” I remind us both bitterly.

“Not in the way you think,” my father speaks up. “I saw that there was a problem, but I didn’t see the extent of it, and I missed some of the connections.”

“Yeah, no kidding,” I grumble, assuming that he means my sister’s role in it all.

He’s not cruel, and though he prefers not to share his dreams and visions as much as it can be avoided, I’m confident that if he had known that it was Margot that Lee was fated to, he wouldn’t have let her come. Not to that meeting, anyway. He seemed genuinely surprised in the moment once he realized how she was involved.

“I know you’re not ready to hear this, but in time, you will come to appreciate it,” he goes on, acting as though my responses don’t even affect him. “If you had stayed on the path you were on with Lee, the three of you would all have ended up miserable, and none of you would have been where you were meant to be when it mattered. Two sets of siblings would have been needlessly divided, when it is their bonds that will carry us all through the days to come.”

“It sounds like you could have written your own books of prophecies, Eramund,” Tian comments, and I don’t get the sense that he’s trying to be funny about it.

“I truly could have, and perhaps should have,” my father answers him. “Perhaps if I had, then Alpha Magnus would have seen this coming and would have recognized it before it got out of hand.”

“Well, when it comes to people like Magnus, it is often better that he not find his future spelled out in print. His zealousness tends to get the best of him.”

“That is true,” my father acknowledges thoughtfully, regarding me with a serious expression. “And what is also true is that when you do finally discover your mate, your true mate, you’ll be glad for this day and the way things turned out, Anna Jade. If I’d have let you continue the way you were, there would have come a point where undoing certain decisions could have created chaos in places it doesn’t belong. I only wish I could have seen the full picture with more clarity. I saw two separate pieces of it, but didn’t see how it all linked together until today.”

“You didn’t know it was Margot,” Tian surmises with interest, thinking along the same lines as me.

“I knew Margot would eventually be involved. What I didn’t know was that both girls were tied into this at the same point, both bonded to Lee. I thought that … well, actually, I won’t say more than that. It’s not a worthwhile endeavor to sit here pondering could haves, and should haves, and things that might be. I can’t even guarantee that the events of today will have much influence after today, now that the important bits have been resolved. Nothing is certain, and the more that I try to pretend that it is, the less certain it becomes.”

“Yes, well, thank you for clearing that up for us, Eramund,” Tian responds sarcastically, and I can’t help the small half-smile of amusement I can feel creeping across my face, despite the heaviness of my mood.

That’s how I always feel when my father gets going on his rants about the future, or rather the futures, all the while refusing to say anything that means much to our ignorant minds. We can’t see what he sees, and it often feels like it makes more sense before he starts trying to explain it.

Tian begins petting my hair again, and I turn my head slightly so that I can see him, hoping that my tears and puffy face don’t make me look as weak and pathetic as I feel.

“I was thinking that after all that has transpired, you might be feeling an urge to get on with our travels sooner than tomorrow morning,” he tells me.

Maybe so. I had wanted to stay as long as possible and enjoy more time with Lee, but now, I don’t really even want to leave this room. Out there, everything has changed. Once Margot wakes up, it will be her by Lee’s side now, and I don’t think I’ll get much of a chance to talk to him anymore. Not without risking her wolf flipping out on us again.

“I suppose so,” I agree, sighing wistfully. “I just wish I could have a chance to say goodbye, at least. To him, and to Rowan. It feels like I probably won’t be coming back here anytime soon.”

“We can arrange that, with Rowan at least,” Tian offers. “Lee has disappeared again. He has his mind-link blocked off, left his phone behind, and Alpha Magnus’s men lost track of him. Again. They say he has a talent for losing his protective details and sending them on wild goose chases through the city pursuing false leads.”

I wonder if that’s how he ended up slinking around some back alley yesterday. I bet he was hiding. But how do they always lose him, especially when he was literally dripping with blood that time? I suppose it doesn’t matter, though. Especially since I have a feeling that I know where he is.

“But I suspect that someone close to him, someone who spent the better part of yesterday off the radar with him, might be able to find him,” Tian goes on, glancing down at me expectantly.

“I might, though I’ll never rat him out,” I insist stubbornly. “He doesn’t get much privacy around here, and I’m not about to rob him of the small bit he’s found for himself.”

“I didn’t expect anything different,” Tian says. “Which is why I asked your father to come with me to see you.”

“That makes no sense. You’re the one with the mind-reading powers,” I retort, though my curiosity has me rolling over and sitting up to find out what he actually means by that.

“And you’re the one with enough magical capacity and power to learn to teleport, if only you had some other more experienced caster to teach you how,” my father reveals, smiling mysteriously.

Which shocks me. I’ve been told for years that even though I have access to my magic, I’m not going to learn the more powerful spells until I have my wolf and can attend training at The Council. Supposedly, it’s safer for us both, and having a connection to an inner wolf will likely alter the connection that I have to my magic once she awakens. It’s just more efficient to wait to learn spells until I have her so that I won’t have to spend time re-learning magic, the way that my father did once he was turned.

“Look, I know what we’ve told you, and I still stand by it,” he goes on. “In general, it will be best to wait for your wolf. But you have need of your magic today, and I can’t think of a good reason to keep you from it. You deserve a chance at a proper goodbye, assuming that I can trust you not to use what I’m about to teach you to run off with your sister’s mate.”

He gives me a stern, questioning look, and I have to bite back my urge to say something sarcastic again. It’s like rubbing salt in my fresh wounds for him to say that, especially the way that he said that.

“Of course I’m not about to run off with him,” I assure him, feeling simultaneously annoyed and excited. I’ve waited a long time to learn something like teleporting, though it’s frustrating for it to happen like this.

“Good,” he nods, seeming to accept my response and think over how to proceed as he studies me. “Then I have a question for you, and I need an honest answer. Or rather, I should say that you need an honest answer. Your safety depends on it.”

A shiver of trepidation surges through me, though I’m fairly certain that all he’s referring to is the inherent danger of transportation spells. Tian has told me before that teleporting only works when you know an exact location of where you plan to go, and it can be risky if you’re not absolutely certain that where you intend to materialize is clear of all people and obstructions. So, my guess is that will be the question I’m about to be asked, or something along those lines.

“This location that you suspect Lee has gone to, is it a place that you remember vividly? You can conjure up an image of it in your mind, and think of a specific spot on the ground you’d like to go?”

“Yes,” I answer without hesitation, already picturing the hill he took me to yesterday.

I spent so much time staring at the ground around where we were sitting that I can still clearly picture each pebble and blade of grass there. I can’t know for sure where he’ll be, but I suspect that he’ll be standing at the edge, screaming into the wind.

“Good,” he says again, nodding the same way as before. “Now, I suspect just from what I’ve witnessed from you over the years that you share my ability to cast spells intuitively, more from instinct than conscious intent, so I’d like to try building on that first. Teaching you the words and the gestures is the part you’ll have to unlearn and re-learn with your wolf, so if we can just skip that, then it would be better for now. You can learn the more complicated bits like teleporting to specific coordinates of places you’ve never been later.”

“But then how do I –” I start to ask, but my question is interrupted by a message that he sends directly to my mind, telling me what to think while I picture where I intend to go.

Anya has told me before that he manages to cast his spells without speaking or making the gestures that she does because he internalizes that bit, and simply imagines himself saying the words and making the gestures silently. But apparently, she was wrong. And apparently, the times when my magic activates on its own is not a mistake or a clumsy misfire the way I’ve been fearing. It’s an ability I’ve inherited from him, one that the most powerful witch in the world doesn’t even seem to understand.

Because according to my father, all I need to do to get to Lee is picture where I want to go, and then imagine myself going there. Simple as that. Though it’s also as scary as that, considering the potential for accidentally activating my power when I don’t mean to. Assuming this works, anyway.

“I’ll work on packing your things and preparing to leave while you’re away, Anna Jade,” Tian informs me, reaching for my hand. “Please return in about an hour, and I’ll make sure that Rowan comes to see us off, so you’ll get your chance to say goodbye to him as well. I’ll bring your mother too.”

“Oh, and be sure to study the floor here so that you’ll have a place to concentrate on to get back,” my father advises. “Preferably over there,” he points to the more spacious side of the room. “Less furniture, fewer chances for mishaps.”

I do look where he is indicating, taking a moment to study it and note all the details. And though I feel ready, I also feel like I need to say something before I go.

“Thank you for trusting me and for not forcing me to tell anyone about where Lee likes to disappear to,” I tell them both, reaching for a hug from Tian and extending an arm in my father’s direction to invite him to join us.

I’m still annoyed and a bit bitter about him coming and spoiling everything with Lee, but I also still love and appreciate him. Especially since he’s doing something that I know he’s uncomfortable with by teaching me how to use an ability I didn’t even know I had, assuming that he’s right that I do have it.

I suppose it’s about time to find out. After letting go of both of my dads, I stand up and take a deep breath, closing my eyes to picture the vacant hill where I spent yesterday afternoon. I remember the way that the dusty ground felt beneath my feet and focus on that until I feel an electric tingling surging through my entire body. And then it feels a bit like my limbs are waking from a lack of blood flow all at once, along with my face and even my ears.

It’s different from teleporting with Tian, and not nearly as stinky. In fact, it’s not stinky at all. It smells like … fresh air. I can even feel the wind blowing on my face now and hear someone shouting.

Lee. It’s Lee shouting. Not any discernible words, just an open-mouth purge of sound into the open air. I open my eyes, and almost immediately look down at my feet and check my hands, patting my legs and arms to make sure that everything is still where it belongs and working properly. Then I glance up at the tall, broad-shouldered man ahead of me, who is facing the other direction as he vents his frustration to the empty lot below.

I note with a deep, aching sadness the way that his t-shirt hugs his shoulders and biceps, remembering the way that touching those shoulders and muscled arms felt. So solid, so strong and protective. And now … completely forbidden. That’s my sister’s mate that I’m standing here admiring and longing for.

Then he goes quiet and still, and my breath catches as I wait to see what he does next.

“How’d you get up here on your own?” he asks, still facing the other way, his voice a little hoarse from all the shouting.

“I suspected where you might be, but I didn’t want to say anything to anyone and spoil this for you too, so my father finally taught me how to teleport.”

“You say that like this is your fault, but it’s not, Anna Jade. It's mine,” he claims, finally turning to face me. “I shouldn’t have stopped Margot from rejecting me when she first wanted to, and I shouldn’t have begged for her secrecy to buy us more time. It was stupid of me to cling to something that I knew I couldn’t have. This isn’t the life she was meant to live, and I should have let her reject me and be free of it when she had the chance.”

“It’s apparently the life she wants now, though,” I remind him, sounding far more bitter about it than I intended.

“It’s that stupid mate bond. She wasn’t in control when she did what she did. She’ll regret it when she wakes up.”

“And what about your mate bond? Why isn’t it like that for you?”

“I guess because I’ve spent so much time thinking about it all, regretting my selfishly impulsive decision and plotting how to fix it the next time I saw her. I eventually realized that she was right. As much as we care about each other, we shouldn't be together if it means that she has to give up everything and be forced into becoming my Luna instead of your pack's Alpha. She should have rejected me first thing, and no one ever had to know about it. It would have been a clean break that we could have moved on from so that we both could be free to take on the roles we were born for, but now, well … it is what it is, I guess. I figured it out too late, and now there's nothing we can do about it.”

He sounds about as sad and defeated as I feel, and it tugs at my heart to hear how miserable he already seems to be.

“Do you think you’ll be happy with her?” I ask, though it pains me to do so.

I don’t think I can handle hearing his answer, no matter which one he gives. Either he’ll say no, and my heart will ache for him, or he’ll say yes, and my heart will just ache. Because I still want him, and I still feel like we’d both be happiest together, no matter what my father says.

“I don’t think I’ll ever feel good about forcing her into a situation that will make her miserable and destroy literally every plan she had for herself. And think about it, Anna Jade. Who’s next in line to be Alpha of your pack if it’s not Margot?”

My stomach plunges just about all the way to my toes as I shudder with dread, realizing what he means.

“Emerick,” I say breathlessly, fear and anxiety coursing through me and forming a lump in my throat that makes it hard to say more.

“Exactly. What I can’t figure out at all is why your dad is so insistent that you and me being together is so terrible when that’s the alternative. Now that Margot’s stuck with me, that’s the future that your pack has to look forward to. I guess we can only hope that one of your other siblings will challenge his claim and beat his ass because I refuse to ally my pack with someone like him.”

I’m stuck frozen with fear and shock again, and he takes pity on me, making his way over to pull me into what I'm sure he intends to be a soothing embrace. All he succeeds at doing is making the tears just start pouring out of me, though. Somehow, being held by him hurts more than not touching him, I guess because it’s a reminder of what will never be mine now.

“I’m so sorry,” he mumbles into my hair. “I really, really wish that this day never happened. I think we would have been good together.”

“I’m sorry, but I can’t do this,” I tell him apologetically, pushing away from his soul-crushing embrace. The very same embrace that felt so warm and comforting just a couple hours ago. “I have to go. I really hope you can work it out with Margot and find some way to build a happy life together.”

He’s still trying to convince me to come back and talk to him some more, but I do my best to block him out so I can focus on remembering that spot in my guest room that my father pointed out. I’m way ahead of schedule, but it’s time to go. I can’t stand being here any longer. He’s not for me, and I need to just accept that and move on.

It’s incredible to me how attached to him I managed to get in just a couple short days, and I feel rather pathetic being this upset over a boy when that’s never been my way, but here we are. I should be happy not to be stuck living in Luna’s Grace and glad to be leaving here within the hour. I only hope that Tian can come up with somewhere for us to go that will make me forget all about Lee and this ridiculous place that was actually starting to grow on me.