Alpha's Legacy (Black Moon Saga Book 3)

5. A Simple Request

After moving out of the packhouse, and with no clinic hours to keep me distracted, I find myself with an overabundance of time to think. Things were happening and changing so quickly before that I never really gave myself the chance to do that and to come to terms with everything, so this peace and quiet that leaves me with nothing but my thoughts and worries to keep me company is both strange and cathartic.

Something that keeps popping up is the fact that I’ll be 18 soon, in less than three months now. Coming of age for a werewolf is a huge milestone, and it means a lot of things will change for me. I’ll finally be able to meet my inner wolf, whoever and whatever she may turn out to be, which will also open up the possibility of identifying my fated mate. It could even be someone I already know from my own pack, and that worries me.

People around here love my mother, the Alpha. They treat her with reverence and respect, some even going so far as to regard her as some sort of divine being, but not all her children have been well-received merely by virtue of their connection to her. Margot is beloved, which bodes well for her as the future Alpha, and Adam’s other biological children don’t seem to have any issues fitting in with the rest of the pack. But they’re pureblood Alpha werewolves, and their father is the Alpha's true mate and not a hybrid caster.

As for me, despite my best efforts to always be a good, kind, friendly person, it’s in a werewolf’s nature to find magic aversive and be suspicious of anyone who uses it. It doesn’t seem to matter whether a caster is part-werewolf, and it doesn’t help that Emerick certainly made a name for himself around here, and not one to be proud of. The people who bother to take the time to get to know me seem to like me well enough, but most others make a point of keeping their distance. I’m not particularly outgoing, so I suppose I haven’t made many efforts to change their minds either.

Since I always felt a bit like an outsider, and my closest friends were already in different classes than me anyway, I put everything I had into my academics in school so that I wouldn’t have to stay there any longer than necessary. I was allowed to skip a grade twice, and ended up graduating high school two years earlier than most. I’ve never regretted that choice as it allowed me to distance myself from the ridicule and bullying that followed me through school after my power first manifested almost eight years ago.

But now that I’ll soon be of age, I’m almost dreading the part where I’ll find out who my fated mate is. It could be one of those people who used to torment me, or maybe even someone with only a passive disinterest in me, which would almost be worse. Being rejected by a jerk is one thing, but not being accepted by someone who otherwise seems like a nice person would be devastating.

And I won’t be the only one turning 18 soon. Every milestone I’ve ever reached, my twin has always been right there with me. He’s not even here at the pack anymore and might not be back before our birthday comes around, but I still find myself feeling a lot of anxiety about who his fated mate might turn out to be. It almost seems inevitable that once he discovers her, he’ll waste no time rejecting the poor girl. Goddess knows he won’t give a second thought to her feelings or well-being, and I worry that his recklessness will become my burden to carry. I am going to be the pack healer, after all. Mending a broken heart is just one of the many ways I can help people.

And then my mind drifts to the very different lives Emerick and I have led up to this point. While I’ve been busy loading on the responsibilities, he has mostly been skipping school and sleeping around. He seems to have zero cares in the whole world other than doing whatever and whomever makes him feel good at that moment, and he has always loved to mock me for how seriously I take everything.

And maybe he’s right about that. Maybe I have taken my life too seriously too soon. I’ve never enjoyed any of the carefree freedom that seems to be typical for most teenagers around here. No partying, no s*x, no random shopping sprees with friends. I’ve never snuck out of the house or stayed out past curfew, not that I’d have any place to go even if I had wanted to. In fact, I’ve never really been anywhere outside my hometown, other than to run errands with Tian or my father.

There’s a whole world out there, and I’ve never seen even a fraction of it. I couldn’t imagine it if I tried. But I’m starting to feel like maybe I should start trying. It might finally be my turn for a break and a taste of that carefree teenage freedom, and what better time for it than now when I have nothing better to do for a couple months. I don’t plan to break any hearts, but I’d love to get a chance to have even a fraction of the fun Emerick always seemed to be having before he left.

Finally, the restlessness and angst get to be too much for me, and my thoughts shift to coming up with a solution that starts to feel better and better the more I think of it. I feel like I need to leave, giving myself the chance to have a bit of space and make my own way for a little while. I want to take a trip and finally explore a bit. I don’t know exactly where I want to go, but I do know I need to get away from this pack for a little while, and it needs to happen now. That restlessness inside me needs to be sated, and I know I need to do it before it’s too late.

The women in my family don’t tend to be destined for small things. My mother is the Alpha, and my aunt is her Beta female. Their sister is mated to the Beta of the second largest pack in North America, and even my grandmother was originally meant to be an Alpha’s mate. And then there’s Margot, who is of course preparing to take over the pack once she meets her fated mate.

I may not be an Alpha like all of them, but I just have this inkling of a suspicion that once I turn 18, I’m going to end up locked into responsibilities and obligations beyond measure. It won’t even matter if I do turn out to be an omega wolf, I’ll still be the first designated Black Moon healer, as our pack has never before had a witch among its ranks. Not officially, anyway. I’ll have to be trained by The Council, not to mention the training to complete here at the pack. Medical school for a werewolf doctor is no joke.

I’ll happily accept my fate once the time comes, but I feel like first, I need to seize this one last chance to have some fun.

So, after spending my morning taking extra time and care with my hygiene and appearance, telling myself it’s to make a good impression but knowing that it’s more about the anxiety I feel about the conversation I’m about to have, I finally make my way back up the path to the packhouse and to my mother’s office. Any wolf who wishes to leave the pack for any reason must have approval from the Alpha, so even though I’ve been avoiding talking to my parents for days, I know it’s finally time to face my mother and hope she’ll see things my way for once.

Taking a moment to pause just outside the door to her office and inhale a calming breath, I knock twice and wait for a response.

“Come in, Anna Jade,” I hear her beckon me.

I stopped wondering long ago how it is that she always seems to know which one of her brood of children wants her attention. Despite there being seven of us, she has never mistaken my presence or confused me for anyone else for as far back as I can remember. It could be that her senses work far better than mine, but more than likely, it’s because of the senses she has that other werewolves don’t.

I cautiously open the door, and curiously glance around to take in the scene before me. I knew there was a good chance that I’d find at least one of my dads with her, and I’m relieved to find that it’s only Tian. My father would have been acceptable as well, though he can be overbearingly overprotective at times, and I was dreading facing Adam again, so I’m glad it’s Tian. Besides, I’ve missed him. I don’t think I’ve ever gone this long without seeing him before.

It makes me smile to see the way he so casually and comfortably leans on the corner of my mother’s desk and rests his thigh against her arm, and I can’t help grinning back at his expression that conveys every bit of how happy he is to see me as well. I have an urge to run over and hug him, but I’m trying to appear composed and professional.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” my mother greets me. “I’m glad you’ve come. We’ve missed you, but I know that’s not why you’re here. You have something to ask me?”

That shouldn’t surprise me either, considering how she can read people, but it usually takes her at least a few minutes to do it. So, I am a bit taken aback that she seems to already have me all figured out, and I worry that it might also mean her mind is already made up, probably not in favor of what I want.

“Uh, yes actually,” I confirm, taking the cue to step further into the room and take a seat in front of her desk, still struggling to keep my composure.

“Whenever you’re ready,” she prompts me, giving me an encouraging smile.

I can’t help feeling a bit like a child playing at being a grown-up, which would make her the real grown-up playing along because she knows it makes me feel important. I try not to let that get in my head, though. It doesn’t matter if she thinks I’m being silly and childish. All that matters is convincing her to say yes.

After a deep breath, I tell her, “I’ve been thinking a lot about my eighteenth birthday that’s coming up in just over a couple months, and I realized that since I don’t have school, clinic hours, or any official pack duties currently, now would be a good time for me to go out and explore a bit. I’ve never really been anywhere, and there are a lot of things I’ll never get to experience if I always stay around home, so I was thinking I’d like to leave and spend some time just traveling and seeing what else is out there.”

I nervously play with my fingers as I wait for her reaction to that. To my surprise, her smile widens, and her eyes shine with approval and maybe even pride. I’m used to her not being caught off-guard by the things on my mind, but I had still expected her to be upset about this. Her baby is asking to leave. Parents hate that, right?

She gets a faraway, nostalgic look about her and reaches out for Tian’s hand, still smiling softly. Wistfully, maybe. Right about now I wish I had her ability to tune into people’s minds and get a sense of what they’re thinking and how they’re feeling, because I would love to know what’s going through her mind.

“I was just a bit younger than you are when I went to my parents and made a similar request,” she reminisces.

Well, that seems promising. I think she’s saying she gets where I’m coming from, which is a phenomenal development. Now I’m wondering how that turned out for her, though.

“You know, I graduated high school early, just like you,” she begins to tell me, “and just like you, I found myself feeling out of place and needing to get out and see what the rest of the world had to offer. I was blessed with compassionate and understanding parents who recognized my maturity and trustworthiness, and who supported my urge to travel and experience things, and I want that for you too. I want to be that unerring support for you and help you through this difficult time.”

Wow, okay. Unexpected, but I can get behind that. I also didn’t know any of that about her, so it feels good to learn that we do have some things in common. I know my dads have always said I get my smarts and my heart from her, but I’ve always felt like I have difficulty connecting with her. She’s rare and special, and I’m not. I have magic, and she doesn’t. She’s an Alpha, and I’m not.

But then it occurs to me that she said she wants to be that for me, not that she is going to be that sort of parent for me. Is there a catch she hasn’t mentioned yet?

“But?” I question, probing for whatever she isn’t saying.

“But your father and I have been discussing it, and he isn’t comfortable with sending you out on your own like that,” she tells me apologetically.

I can sense that she is disappointed to have to deny me, but it doesn’t lessen my own disappointment to know she shares in it.

“How did you even know I was going to ask?” I can’t help wondering.

She’s good at predicting what’s on my mind based on my mood and what she can sense from me, but this is an oddly specific detail for her to have known so far in advance that she and my father have already discussed it.

“Your father,” she answers elusively, and I know it’s rather pointless to continue to question her. My father doesn’t like sharing details about what he learns from his precognitive abilities.

Besides, I kind of already know what she’s alluding to. The conversation I had with him when he was staying with me at Uncle Pete’s comes to mind. He made vague mention of my path soon leading elsewhere, and talked about the things he’s seen about me in his dreams, so I guess he saw this coming. He tends to be so secretive about his dreams that it surprises me that he told my mother so much, but I suppose he felt it was important to prepare her for this moment and what to say to me.

“But fortunately, you are not limited to only the one father,” Tian chimes in, smirking at my mother and turning his warm gaze on me. “And I can be rather convincing when I want to be.”

I knew there was a reason why he’s my favorite. He always comes through for me. I feel my smile widen, though I’m trying to keep my cool about it.

“So, does that mean …?” I start to ask, still trying to hold my excitement at bay, but Mom cuts me off.

“You can go,” she confirms with a nod, giving me a smile that tells me there’s still more to it, though.

“But?” I ask again.

“But there will be conditions,” she continues, glancing at Tian as if to invite him to explain the conditions she speaks of.

“Namely, this will be neither the solo trip you hoped for nor the spontaneous wandering you were seeking,” Tian explains. “I will be going with you, and many of our stops will be planned ahead of time. But that’s not to say that you can’t be involved with deciding where we go. I have some ideas in mind of some places and people I think you should visit, but I am also interested to know more about where you would like to go.”

“Wait, what?” I wonder stupidly, unable to make sense of what he just told me.

First off, why do they make it seem like I should be upset that he wants to come with me? Honestly, I like that idea even better than going alone, but I never would have asked it of him. And secondly, I can’t imagine him even wanting to leave my mother for that long, or for any amount of time really. She and her three mates are quite attached, and I know it’s a challenge for them to be separated. Growing up in a pack of werewolves and being one myself, I’m well aware of the benefits and drawbacks of a mate bond.

“Tian, I would love for you to come with me, but how is that going to work? How will you handle being separated from your mate?” I voice my concerns.

“We’ll make it work,” he explains vaguely. “That’s partly why I want to plan much of your travels in advance. It will give me a chance to make various arrangements for places we can stay, and on occasion, places where I can leave you in the care of trusted friends for a day or two so I can return home to see your mother.”

“Okay,” I shrug, not wanting to argue it further and make it seem like I don’t want to accept their terms.

I’m fine with it. My only concern is whether he is as fine with it as he pretends to be, but I suppose that isn’t for me to worry about.

“And one more thing,” Mom adds, and I can’t help but groan. Here it comes, whatever condition they have concocted that I am not going to like.

“No motorcycle,” she demands with an amused grin. “You may travel by car, truck, plane, vampiric teleport, or whatever other means of travel Tian deems to be appropriate, but your father absolutely loathes the idea of you on the back of a motorcycle. So, no motorcycle.”

“Okay?” I agree, scrunching my face in confusion. I don’t even own a motorcycle, and I wasn’t asking to drive one, so this condition makes very little sense to me. That also makes it easy to agree to, though.

“I’m saying that more to you than to her,” she admonishes Tian, to which he gives her an amused smirk.

I’m definitely missing something. I’ve never known Tian to drive a motorcycle either. Occasionally he’ll ride in a car, but mostly he teleports anywhere he needs to go.

“I’m assuming that this idea comes from Eramund’s, ah, special abilities?” Tian questions, still smirking.

“It does,” my mother confirms. “And once the image got into his head, he couldn't get it out. He wouldn't tell me many details, but this he wanted to be sure I made a point of forbidding. I know how much you love to rile him up, but please, when the time comes, say no to the motorcycle. For me?”

She gives him that special pouting face that makes him useless putty in her hands because he can’t deny her anything when she does that. As predicted, he easily agrees, and the productive conversation we were having quickly digresses into them groping and making out.

Not going to lie, there’s a big part of me that hopes to have someone someday who cares that much about me and what I want, and who loves me and finds me desirable enough that he can barely stand to keep his hands off me. But the rest of me gets impatient when I have to wait while they sit there and do their mushy couply stuff, especially when such a major life decision waits in the balance.

“Ahem,” I dramatically clear my throat after a few moments, hoping to draw their attention back to me and the fact that I still don’t have the definitive details about my trip.

“Yes, Anna Jade. As long as you’re in agreement about the conditions, your request is approved and you have leave to go traveling,” my mother finally speaks the words I’ve been waiting for. “But I want you back for your birthday. Those plans haven’t changed.”

She’s referring to my coming-of-age ceremony, where the pack will gather to witness the awakening of my wolf, and if it ends up going anything like Margot’s ceremony did, the party afterward could last all night. My mother is apparently not interested in having to postpone the festivities, which is fine with me. I was planning to be back for that anyway.

“We’ll leave first thing in the morning,” Tian adds, and then picks up a document from the desk.

He comes around and hands it to me, explaining, “This should guide you with what to pack and what you need to do to prepare. Do be sure to say your goodbyes before bedtime tonight because we likely won’t get much of a chance in the morning.”

“Oh my gosh, seriously? So soon?” I wonder, a mixture of excitement and panic coursing through me all at once. “I have to say, I hadn’t expected an answer this soon, or for plans to be made already.”

“Well, if you’d prefer to wait,” Tian begins to say, reaching to take back the paper he gave me.

“No!” I cut him off. “I didn’t expect it, but that doesn’t mean I’ve changed my mind. I want to go, and now is as good of a time as any.”

“Very well, then. We set out at dawn,” he informs me, his gray eyes twinkling with fondness and excitement of his own.

I’m guessing he volunteered partly because of his protective nature and our close bond, but also because it’s been quite some years since he has done any traveling. To my understanding, traveling is how he has spent the majority of his unnaturally long life, so he is probably eager to get back to it.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I squeal as I charge over to my mother to pull her into a bear hug. “And thank you most of all,” I add for Tian, who has come to join our group hug.

“Just one more thing, though, Miss Anna Jade,” he adds, pulling away just enough so he can look me in the eyes.

That’s a very serious look he’s giving me. I knew this was all too good to be true.

“Attendance at dinner tonight is mandatory, as it will be the last chance for the whole family to gather for a while. And you will speak with Adam before you leave. Do not run from him before hearing what he has to say, understood?”

I have the urge to groan in response to that, but I know better. Tian is my favorite, but he is also the strictest. I’ve never had the nerve to go against anything he has ever demanded of me, but I’ve always suspected that if I had, I wouldn’t have enjoyed the result. So, my protests are kept silent.

“Understood. I’ll be there,” I agree compliantly, following it up with another kiss for his cheek and some more grateful hugging for them both.