Alpha's Legacy (Black Moon Saga Book 3)

21. The Problem With Lee

“Fix what?” I ask once my head stops spinning with worry and uncertainty. “I wasn’t aware that anything was broken.”

“This thing with Lee,” Tian tells me, deciding to actually sit in the chair he’s been holding onto. “I promise you that this isn’t just me being overbearing or trying to thwart your relationship or anything even remotely like that. After the conversation I had with your mother last night, which was primarily her scolding me for the way I handled things with you then, I had actually resolved to try and give you some space and freedom to make your own choices. I may not like the choices you make, but it’s time that I start letting you do that. I can’t always be trying to nudge or force you in the direction I prefer you to be going. That’s what she told me.”

“Yeah, Lee told me that you agreed to let us go through with mating, even if we turn out to be wrong in our assumption of being fated to each other.”

“Yes, well, you can thank your mother for that. She reminded me that it’s your right to choose who you mate with, even if it means rejecting the choice that the Moon Goddess has made for you,” he says, his voice tinged with what might be sadness. “But apparently, everything changed after she looped your father in. He doesn’t like the idea of you with Lee one bit, and he assures me as well as your mother that it isn’t just his overprotective parental instincts to blame. From how he was talking, I suspect that we might be skirting uncomfortably close to something he’s seen in his dreams.”

He sighs, bringing his hands together as he leans forward, bracing himself with his arms.

“And Anna Jade,” he continues, seeming to choose his words more carefully for this part, “I know how you felt about that last night, but allow me to remind you again that his ability to view glimpses of the future is not to be taken lightly. He stays quiet about most of what he sees, but in those rare instances where he feels it’s necessary to speak up, it’s for good reason. And we can’t expect him to tell us the reasons. It becomes too tempting to try to use that knowledge to play with fate.”

“Isn’t that exactly what he’s doing now, though?” I challenge, crossing my arms over myself as if it can somehow protect me from the sense of vulnerability that washes over me, a feeling that I haven’t quite identified the cause of. “He’s seen something, and he expects me to respond to it a certain way. Is he not trying to influence fate by doing that?”

“You also have to understand that his visions can sometimes serve as warnings. He often sees many possible futures at once, and usually, he treats his dreams as though they are meant to be used only to allow him to brace himself for what could come to pass. But sometimes, they’re more vivid and detailed. And sometimes, one of those potential futures is so undesirable that he can’t just sit idly by and let it happen. It takes wisdom and patience to be able to tell the difference, and as much as no one would expect me to be the one to say this, your father has enough of both that I trust his judgement.”

He pauses for only a split-second, but I still manage to notice the slight grimace that passes over his features. He really hates having to say that out loud, which almost makes me smile. I know he’s fond of my father, even if he’s not one for verbalizing it, but I’ve always been amused by how they bicker like teenage boys sometimes.

But then he goes on to say, “If, when he and your mother arrive, it is because he feels a need to guide you away from one path and toward another, you need to listen and accept his wisdom. Take advantage of his foresight. These abilities are boons and blessings in the right hands, and he only wants to ensure that you will live a long and happy life. Even if Lee seems like the person that you want right now, you also have to keep in mind that he’s the first man you’ve ever been interested in. There are factors beyond just mate bonds and fated pairings that can cause two people to experience a pull and intense feelings toward each other.”

He sighs, and I have an urge to say something to defend myself but manage to hold it back. I know he’s not speaking about this because he wants to lecture me, not like how he did last night anyway. Right now, he’s trying to help and advise me, and I know that it’s already hard enough for him to have to say all this to me. I can sense it. What he doesn’t need right now is me arguing with him and proving that I’m just an immature teenager with not enough sense to recognize the wisdom that comes from a millennium of experience.

“You are both witch and werewolf,” he goes on, “but remember that witches and werewolves are but a few bits of DNA different from humans, biologically speaking. Much of your body and mind is quite human, and it is possible for you to be drawn to another person for no other reason than simple attraction. The connection you feel, it could be the result of the bursts of happy chemicals exploding all throughout your brain and body because it is so rewarding to meet another person who you can relate to and connect with.”

He pauses again, and I realize when I have to turn my head to look at him that it’s because I’ve let my attention start to wander. This has been a dreadfully long speech, and though I’m interested in what he’s saying, now he’s getting to a part that I don’t think I want to hear. But with my eyes locked on him once again, he nods and continues what he was saying.

“What you have with Lee, it could be very real, but also quite fleeting. And you have to ask yourself, is that really worth derailing your entire future for? Is it worth giving up your fated mate to be with this man who excites you now, but might grow to bore you in a few years? Is it worth leaving your pack behind to join this one, which is quite a stark contrast to everything you’re accustomed to? And if you think that I’m controlling and overbearing, just wait until you c***k one of their law books or read their code of conduct, and don’t even get me started on their religious texts.”

“Okay, you’ve made your point,” I concede, a little annoyed by how he seems to be making light of my feelings for Lee, and maybe even a little bit trying to discredit them, and I don’t think I can bear to listen to any more of this.

Yet I still recognize that his motive is to be my advisor, and nothing more. He already made that apparent with what he said to Lee earlier. And I’m not so blind and stubborn that I can’t see that he’s also made some very good points that are well worth considering. I like the last bit of what he said the least, but that might also mean that I need to consider that part with the most scrutiny. It’s all true, even if I don’t want to think about it, and he’s also right that even taking Lee as my chosen mate could turn out to be a permanent decision because of how things work at Luna’s Grace.

“And when my parents get here, I’ll be sure and hear them out,” I promise, recognizing that as the ultimate goal of this long-winded speech he’s been giving me.

Though the part that I’m not saying is how it will have to wait until after my plans with Lee. I have a feeling that after my parents get here, they’ll want me to leave even sooner than tomorrow morning, and I refuse to squander my last hours with Lee waiting around for them. Even if my relationship with him is doomed and “fleeting,” as Tian alluded to, it still feels right. I can think it all over once I’ve left here, but right now, I’m going to soak in all the time with him that I can.

Tian seems satisfied with that response, agreeing to leave and let me finish getting ready so I can still go with Lee as planned. Before he goes, he informs me that my parents intend to arrive in just a few hours, and advises me to keep my phone on me with the sound on so that he can call me once they get here. Thankfully, I thought to put it on the charger before breakfast, so the battery is full up and ready to go.

“And Anna Jade, just one more thing,” Tian adds, pausing just before the door on his way out, turning to face me again.

I get up from my seat at the end of my bed and go to him, curious about what more he could possibly feel a need to add to all that he has already said.

“It wasn’t just speaking with your mother that got me thinking about how poorly I handled myself last night,” he tells me regretfully. “I knew it even then. Inside my mind, I was wincing every time that I opened my mouth. I wasn’t blind to the effect that I was having on you, but I was also successful in convincing myself that it was justified. You broke the rules and some important promises, and most unforgivably to me in that moment, you violated my trust.”

“I know,” I assure him, glancing down at the floor from the weight of the shame I still feel about it. “And you were right to scold and punish me for it.”

“No, I wasn’t,” he shocks me by disagreeing. “A light scolding and redirection, that’s all that a first offense should call for. I still believe that your biggest mistake was deliberately violating the promise that you made your mother especially considering that you knew the reason for the restriction, but after hearing the explanation that you gave for it, I don’t even disagree with you doing it. Maggie should not have left you alone in an unfamiliar city with no way to get back, and on further reflection, I’m glad that you came across Lee and that he delivered you home safely, regardless of his chosen means of transportation.”

“Really?”

It’s almost embarrassing how excited and hopeful I manage to make that one simple word sound, but I can’t suppress how light his words are making me feel.

“Yes,” he chuckles, smiling at me warmly as he reaches out to stroke my cheek affectionately. “And I do hope you understand that the most dangerous of your transgressions yesterday was your decision to use your healing magic while alone in a back alley you couldn’t even have pointed out on a map without first alerting me of your intent and your location. I do hope that after your conversation with Anya, you’ve come to appreciate the inherent danger of your abilities, especially without yet possessing the proper tools to help protect you.”

“I do,” I assure him. “I absolutely do, and I do regret not even thinking to call you or anything. But I also assure you that the first thing I did when I laid hands on him was gauge how much of my power and energy it would take. I knew I could handle it.”

“Yes, well, it was still a risk, though I suppose the fault is as much on us as your parents for not ensuring that you had sufficient practice and experience to allow me to have more confidence in your ability to determine that.”

“Anya said that a healer should be able to tell that even the first time that she heals,” I remind him. “And I did know that something was wrong the first time, for the record. I just wasn't expecting to have my magic so soon and didn't even know what was happening at first, plus I was convinced that Pete was dying, so it wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”

“I know,” he acknowledges, reaching out and pulling me into his embrace. With his face tucked against my hair, he adds, “And I suppose it isn’t fair of us, me especially, to keep putting the weight of how terrifying it was to realize how close we came to losing you then on your shoulders even now. Anya would be the first to scold me for holding you back like that.”

After some whispered assurances that I understand and don’t hold it against him or any of my parents that they feel that way, he finally releases me and leaves the room so I can finish getting ready.

All that we’ve discussed is fresh on my mind and I can’t help turning it all over and thinking on it more as I finish with my hair and apply a light layer of makeup to my eyes and lips. But even so, I manage to leave myself with fifteen minutes to spare, though I haven’t reached any conclusions or decisions regarding everything that Tian was saying about Lee. Even if we’re not mates, I can’t see what about him would bother my father so much that he feels it necessary to intervene in person.

Feeling more conflicted about Lee than ever, I decide to use my extra time to call someone who might know him even better than I do. I remember him saying that he and Margot used to hang out a lot, so I wonder if she has any insight or words of wisdom that might be helpful with sorting it all out in my head.

After we get all the usual small talk out of the way, I give her a minute to tell me about what’s been going on back home. It doesn’t sound like there’s much of interest, just mostly her making a point of rubbing it in my face that she gets looped in about the ongoing investigation into Emerick’s secret club since she’s the future Alpha. Though she’s trying to make it seem like she intends to discuss it with me in earnest, she also keeps stopping herself mid-sentence.

“I suppose I can’t say more than that, though, because it’s all confidential and need-to-know,” she tells me at least twice, if not three times.

But knowing that time is ticking away, and Lee will be here to get me soon, I eventually manage to guide our conversation in the direction of what I want to talk about. I start by telling her a little bit about my time at Luna’s Grace, starting with Rowan and his mate and then telling her about my field trip with Maggie.

“Ugh, Maggie. What a pretentious b***h,” she comments, shocking me since I’ve never heard language like that out of her.

But I can’t say that I disagree, and I tell her as much. She seems to like Maggie’s twin brother, Benny, though the fact that she even has a twin is news to me. I pretend like I already knew that and even know which one Benny is, though I don’t. I only know Lee and Max because they’re the most vocal.

“What do you think of Lee?” I finally ask, holding my breath a little and dreading her response.

I just really hope that whatever she is about to tell me doesn’t lend support to Tian’s original impression of him, that he’s not a very nice person and might not have a genuine interest in me.

“He’s sweet and funny, and so handsome,” she says, giggling a little, which is not something I’m used to from her. “He can be intense, though. When he gets an idea in his head, he really goes for it.”

“Wait, go back to the part about him being handsome,” I cut in, my jealousy flaring. “Do you have a thing for him? It’s pointless, you know. He has a mate out there somewhere.”

“I know that, Anna Jade. Can’t I just admire him without it having to mean anything?”

“And it’s not you,” I continue saying what I was saying before she cut in.

“Yeah, I mean,” she pauses, sighing, “No, of course it isn’t me. It was just a silly comment.”

“Well, that’s good. You’ll have a mate of your own, and then the two of you will take over our pack. You can’t do that with someone like Lee. Any mate of his will be forced to join his pack.”

“Unless he leaves before then,” she points out, making me wonder if she even knows Lee as well as she claims.

“Which won’t be happening,” I tell her insistently. “The ceremony for him to take over as Alpha is in less than a month. He’s the future Alpha, Margot. Any mate of his will have to be his Luna.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” she argues, all hints of playfulness gone from her voice. “He told me that he wanted Max to take over so that he could leave.”

“Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” I argue back. “Max is the younger brother. It’s Lee that’s next in line. The law here demands that it be Lee who succeeds his father.”

And I know that I’m right about that because Max was literally just spouting off about it at breakfast, and Alpha Magnus confirmed his claims.

“But Lee doesn’t even like it there,” she protests in disbelief. “He wants to leave, and he was going to try to work it out with his dad so that he could.”

“His dad won’t even relent in calling him Leopold. What made you think that Lee saying that was anything more than a frustrated guy venting and wishing for impossible things?”

“Because he –” she pauses again, and then grunts in frustration before continuing. “Never mind. Why are we even fighting about this? And why did you even want to know about him anyway?”

“Because I … I think he might be my mate,” I admit to her, a heated blush rising to my cheeks even though there’s no one in the room with me to see it.

“That’s impossible,” she growls in irritation far more forcefully than I would have expected, even knowing that most people are likely to react with disbelief since I don’t even have my wolf yet.

“I know I’m not of age yet to be able to know for sure, but I feel that connection that people talk about there being before both mates are of age. And he feels it too, so –”

“Impossible,” she growls again, cutting me off.

I don’t really know what to say, but after a few moments of tense silence pass between us, she adds, “I know that Mom’s heading down there to see Tian soon, and I’ve just decided that I’m coming with. We’ll talk more about this then. Don’t tell anybody what you just told me.”

And before I get a chance to respond and tell her that it’s too late and pretty much his entire family and some of ours already know, she’s hung up on me, and I’m left sitting there staring dumbly at my phone.

What just happened?