The Missing Luna

Chapter 5: Hope’s POV

Trigger warning! This chapter contains explicit torture, gore, murder, and psychological torture. Material that can be sensible for certain readers. Readers' discretion is advised.

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“Hello, Hope,” the familiar voice greeted me. I still had no idea who this woman was, but I was sure I had heard her speak several times.

She told me to stay strong and keep my spirits up, and now she was standing before me.

The question was, who was it?

She looked like me almost entirely, with the same green eyes and curly white hair, but there was a clear difference: the dark aura surrounding her.

“Who the f**k are you?” I asked angrily.

I didn’t mean to be rude, but when you live through abuse, you become wary of everyone. I didn't particularly appreciate that I couldn't but could recognize whoever was before me.

"I am you, the part that you keep hidden because you are scared," she said, smiling widely.

Her smile... rubbed me the wrong way. I didn't like it.

"I am not scared of anything; I don't know what you are talking about," I stated. "And I will kindly ask you to leave me the f**k alone," I growled.

This must be Caelan's plan. He must be finding new ways to f**k up with me and my mind.

“Are you sure? You can lie all you want, but I know the truth; you can’t lie to yourself,” she stated.

I looked around me; we were in complete and utter darkness.

“I would like to be left alone, thank you very much,” I muttered, then I turned around and started walking in the opposite direction.

“You won’t go far,” she said and giggled.

I didn’t care; I wanted to be as far away from her as possible.

I walked until I couldn’t hear her anymore, but then she appeared again.

“See? I told you you wouldn’t get far,” she giggled again.

“Shut up,” I growled. “Leave me the f**k alone.”

“I would love to, but I can’t. I am you, you are me, and you can’t ditch me,” she stated blankly.

“You have never appeared before; why now?”I asked while I looked at her.

She shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal that I had to endure torture for years, all alone.

“I guess your mind finally broke; who knows.” She stated.

“Huh, so no big deal, right?” I replied and rolled my eyes.

“I have been alone since day one; let’s keep it that way, shall we?” I looked at her, but she didn’t seem to care.

What the f**k was wrong with her.

“Sure, you can continue suffering if you want, but we both know you can kill everyone here and escape, but you don’t want to get your little hands dirty,” she said.

Did she really tell me I didn’t want to get my hands dirty? I wanted to snap their necks—that was all I could think about sometimes—and here it was, a version of me, telling me I was suffering basically because I wanted to.

“You don’t know what you are talking about,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Ah, but I do. You are scared of using your true power because you know what it can do, but why are you enduring this pain alone?” She asked.

I drifted my eyes from hers and tried to understand what she was talking about. I was strong, yes, and I could have done more the day I was kidnapped, but I didn’t want to hurt anyone innocent.

Yeah, she must be referring to the day I was kidnapped because since then, all I have done is fight.

“I’m not referring to the day we were kidnapped; I mean, why are you letting them experiment on you?” She asked. Yeah, right. It's like I had a choice.

“I am not letting them,” I huffed. “In case you haven’t noticed, they don’t exactly ask for my permission,”

“True, but we know you can do more, you could kill them, and eat their flesh, you don’t want to try it?” Her voice came from behind.

What the f**k?! How did she move so quickly?

“Are you crazy? I am not going to eat their flesh,” I almost threw up at the thought of taking a bite out of a demon.

They smell awful; how could she think I could eat one of them?

No. That is not happening, not now or ever.

"Why not? It is a great way to gain your strength back. They won't feed you because they want to keep you weak, but if you killed one of them, then they wouldn't stand a chance against you,"

I stared at her, horrified by the suggestion. Eat their flesh? The mere thought made bile rise in my throat, but what scared me more was the way her eyes gleamed as she spoke as if the idea thrilled her—thrilled me? I shook my head, trying to banish the thought, but she just smiled wider, a twisted reflection of my own face.

"You're insane," I hissed. "I'm nothing like you."

She tilted her head, studying me with an unsettling calmness. "Aren't you? You've thought about it, haven't you? The taste of power, the rush of strength. Don't lie to yourself. I know every dark thought you've had, every desire you've buried. I'm the part of you that refuses to be shackled and will do anything to survive."

"No," I whispered, backing away from her. But there was nowhere to go.

She stepped closer, her presence suffocating. "You can't escape me, Hope. I'm what you've kept hidden, the side of you clawing to get out. You've been too weak to let me in, too afraid of what you might become. But deep down, you know I'm right. You need me."

I clenched my fists, nails digging into my palms as I fought against the rising tide of fear and anger. "I won't become a monster like them."

She laughed, a cold, hollow sound that echoed in the void. "You're already a monster, Hope. They made you one. Embrace it, and you can finally be free. Or keep denying it and let them tear you apart piece by piece."

I wanted to scream and deny everything she was saying, but a part of me—one I didn't want to acknowledge—wondered if she was right. How much more could I endure before I broke completely? How long before I became the very thing I despised?

She saw the doubt flicker in my eyes and pressed on. "You can't survive this without me. You need my strength, my ruthlessness. Together, we can make them pay. We can escape this hell only if you stop fighting me."

I hesitated, the darkness closing in around us, her presence oppressive and inescapable. She was offering me a way out, a way to end the torment and reclaim my life. But at what cost?

"Let me in," she whispered, her voice now soft, almost coaxing. "Let me show you what we're truly capable of."

For a moment, I was tempted. The idea of finally being free, of no longer being the victim, was intoxicating. But then I remembered who I was, who I had always been. I wasn't like her. I couldn't be.

"I don't need you," I said, my voice firm despite the tremor in my hands. "I'll find another way."

Her smile faded, replaced by a look of pity. "You're making a mistake, Hope. You can't survive this alone. But fine, keep pretending you're stronger than you are. When you accept the truth, I'll be here, waiting."

The darkness suddenly dissipated as I jolted up.

"Finally, you are awake; let's continue," Came my mate's voice.

He was going to torture me again, and I couldn't help but wonder if I made a mistake by not letting the darkness consume me.

No, I can't. I have to fight but not let myself become what they are. Monsters. If I did, I would let them win, but I couldn't.

Caelan continued torturing me for hours until someone called him. I didn't understand why he looked unfazed by my suffering. Back at home, if your mate is suffering any kind of pain, you can feel it as if it were your own.

Perhaps demons don't work that way, but how could I know? I don't know who to ask; even if I did, it wouldn't matter. If he is feeling pain, he is hiding it perfectly well.

When he left the room, I felt peace once again. I thought any of the demons would come to drag me back to my cell. I was starving and dehydrated. I needed something to drink and eat, but they didn't. They left me there, strapped to the chair as I waited for them to come.

I hate you, Caelan, and I wish you weren't my mate.

Kira whimpered at that thought, but I ignored her. She was supposed to be my wolf, my company when things got rough, and instead, she was hiding. She was left alone to endure everything on my own, and I didn't want her. If I could, I would reject my wolf as well.

I drifted to darkness again, knowing I would find her again.

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I was now in a forest. It seemed she wouldn't bother me again. I had forgotten how nice it felt to smell the scent of the flowers and trees surrounding you. How freedom felt, or how pure the air was on the outside.

Yeah, I had forgotten these small things and was happy to experiment with them here. I knew it was a dream, but it was the most real I have had so far.

"It is nice, isn't it?" I heard her from behind.

I sighed in frustration. I thought she would leave me alone, but it was too good to be true.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I won't leave you alone, Hope. Not until you admit to yourself why are you letting them punish you," she replied.

"I don't have anything to admit; you are crazy. Now, leave me alone," I growled.

She laughed at my face. Her laughter echoed through the forest, bouncing off the trees and filling the air with a haunting melody that seemed to taint the serenity of the dream. I clenched my fists, trying to hold on to the peace I had briefly felt, but her presence twisted it into something suffocating.

"You can lie to yourself all you want, Hope," she said, stepping closer, her dark aura seeming to swallow the light around her. "But we both know the truth. You're punishing yourself because you think you deserve it. You're letting them torture you because, deep down, you believe it's what you deserve."

I recoiled at her words, the accusation cutting deep. "That's not true," I snapped.

She tilted her head, eyes gleaming with a knowing look. "Isn't it? You blame yourself for what happened, for being taken, for being too weak to fight back. And now, you think this suffering is your penance."

"I... I don't..." The words caught in my throat, choking me. Was that true? Did I believe I deserved this? The thought terrified me, but it also resonated with a part of me I had been trying to ignore.

She stepped closer, her voice softening, almost gentle. "It's okay to admit it, Hope. To acknowledge that you're hurting, that you feel guilty. But punishing yourself won't change anything. It won't bring back what you've lost, and it won't make you stronger. You're only giving them more power over you."

I shook my head, tears stinging my eyes. "I don't know how to stop it... I don't know how to fight anymore."

"Then let me help you," she said, her tone coaxing, almost kind. "Let me show you how to channel that pain into something powerful. Use it to break free, to fight back."

"I can't," I whispered, the weight of everything crashing down on me. "I can't become like them."

Before she could say anything else, I awoke again.

No more torture, please, not again.