My Only Luna

Chapter 7: Trust

Owen's POV

Clenching my hands into fists, I stand up and think about whether maybe I should go after Hailey, but part of me feels like I've pushed her too hard already, and I know she's far away. I wish things were different between us, or more accurately, I wish I could turn back time to that instant when everything broke, but I know it's impossible.

The truth is that for now, Hailey supposes the worst of me, perhaps not knowing that I have always loved her. It's not from now this feeling; it didn't start when I knew she was my Luna, but it was formed many years ago, when I met her.

Back then, she was just a little girl full of courage who defended her best friend to the hilt, and I secretly admired her courage, because I myself did not always feel like such a courageous person. I had to live up to the high expectations of my father, who always looked at me as if he expected from me what I could be, and not what I already was.

Being an only child, my father always put too much pressure on me. He expected me to be everything I was supposed to be as a leader, so there wasn't a lot of down time in my childhood. As I got older, that pressure increased on my shoulders, but of course, everything always centered on my Luna.

“No wolf is complete without his Luna." My father would say, looking wistful. I always believed that when my mother died, a part of him did too. “A part of you is manifested in her, and a part of her is manifested in you. Only when you meet her will you feel the fullness."

I didn't understand it then. I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to feel complete for someone else, when the truth is that I had never felt incomplete.

But my father tried hard to make me understand that without her, I would be nothing. At least not the leader he expected me to be.

“You must wait for her," he would tell me then, "because the force that unites an Alpha and his Luna is radical, and nothing can oppose it. Just as nothing can oppose the designs of the Goddess. Before your mother, I had a girlfriend whom I thought I loved, but when I turned twenty-one and saw your mother for the first time... Everything else was erased. The girl in question couldn't take it, and committed suicide soon after. I don't want you to live through that pain, son, and so I ask you, wait for your Luna and don't hurt anyone along the way."

That thought terrified me, but in time, it made me strong, or so I thought. I met Hailey and fell in love with her, but secretly, I was afraid of hurting her. I didn't know what would become of my future, or which of those girls would be the one for me. So, I decided to wait and be distant from all of them, until the moment when my Luna would reveal herself would come.

All in all, Hailey always knew how to make a place in my heart, and only now do I understand why. She was unlike anything I knew. Smart, sweet, witty and funny. She asked me out when she was seventeen, and she did it with a bravery that even today, I envy in her.

For two years we tried, and even the way I felt about her made me believe that I should reject the whole "wait for the Luna" concept that had been instilled in me all my life. Yet, the night Hailey asked me to be formal, everything changed for me.

“I've seen you get very attached to this girl... Hailey," my father said that night, as he summoned me to his studio. To this studio. The breeze blew silently through the open windows, bringing with it the scent of night and sea.

“I think I love her," I confessed.

My father sighed and without saying anything, came and sat down next to me. He was silent for a while, until finally, he looked at me, and in his deep gray eyes I noticed the concern that my words brought him.

“I wonder what you will do, son, if in a few years, when your wolf wakes up, you find out that she is not the one. What will you do then, when you have to break her heart to tell her that maybe, her best friend, or some other girl is the one chosen to be the Luna for you?"

I couldn't imagine dating Sabrina, or for that matter, any other girl in the pack, but the thought, all in all, made me think.

“I'll find a way to tell her. She'll understand."

“Will she?" My father raised an eyebrow. “Or is it perhaps what you tell yourself, because you want to be with her?"

And in truth, he was right. I wanted to be with her. I wanted to be by her side above all things, but at the same time, I was afraid to think about the possibility of hurting her.

“Whether it's for you or not, son, only time will tell. But think that in the meantime, it's her heart that's at stake. Maybe the best thing to do is to let her go... Sometimes, the purest form of love is that which frees, and not that which binds."

And after he said that, he walked away, and left me thinking for long hours about his words, until very slowly, they sunk into me and I understood that if I loved Hailey, I had to let her go.

Now I wondered, however, if it wouldn't have been better to tie her to me. Maybe we wouldn't have had to face this heartbreaking distance.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts then, and as I turned I saw Sebastian and Patrick.

“How did it go?" Sebastian asked hopefully. “Did you confess to Hailey?" I shook my head, and the dissatisfaction on his face was evident.

“Confess what to Hailey?" Patrick then asked, as he lay down on the couch.

“Hailey is Owen's Luna," Sebastian then confessed.

“What are you...? You what?" He immediately sat down on the couch and looked at both of us with indignation. “Why am I always the last to know everything?"

“Relax," said Sebastian as he sat down on one of the chairs in front of the desk. “Owen only found out last night. He's been trying to tell her ever since."

“And what stopped you?" asked Patrick, confused, and I pursed my lips.

“Angus, for starters." His name sounded like blasphemy on my lips. They both knew all the mishaps the leader of the enemy pack had caused me. “But Hailey is more of a hinderer than anything else. She doesn't want anything to do with me."

“How could she not want to hear from you?" Patrick said indignantly. “We all know she's had a crush on you since she learned to talk."

“Yeah, but things can get really messed up when you send the girl you like to f*ck off," Sebastian answered honestly, uncensored in his thoughts, and immediately changed his ways when he noticed the seriousness in my gaze. “What I mean is... well... I mean..."

“Right. I screwed up. There's no other way to say it," I affirm while sighing. “The truth is, yes, I blew it with Hailey and now, there's no way to make her understand how I feel about her."

“Well, you have to tell her," Patrick said, very upset. “As bad as things have been in the past... You have to try to make things right with her!"

“It's not that simple, believe me," I answer bitterly.

“What you have in your favor," Sebastian then says, “is that Hailey still loves you."

“And what good does that do me if I can't even get close to her without her running away in terror?" I say, desperate.

“Well, man, it helps because at least you've got half the game won. Now, what you have to do is to go for the jackpot."

Patrick nods then and says with emphasis, “Sebastian is right, Owen. You have to win Hailey's heart back. Make her fall in love again."

“Is that even possible?" I say, sarcastically.

“Of course it is," replies Sebastian, determined. “And now more than ever you have to decide to put everything on the line for her."

Breathing in slowly, I stare at the ceiling, knowing that I really have no other choice. I can't be without her, after all, because only now I understand that for me, that would be impossible.

“I guess you're right," I affirm, and smile as if to myself. “It'll be just like old times... only in reverse. Get Hailey's heart, or die trying."

“Fine, but don't die trying," Sebastian jokes. “We have enough problems as it is without our Alpha dying from a broken heart."