My Only Luna

Chapter 3: Don’t Let Yourself Subdue

Hailey's POV

Owen has his hand placed delicately on my arm, at my elbow. He doesn't hold me with possession but he does use this brief contact to guide me through the crowd, and a part of me wonders as I follow him, if he is aware of how his touch can alter everything about me. It makes me dizzy, his presence, his scent of cologne and soap, mixed with something else, something I can't decipher that is his alone... He turns his face and looks at me for just a moment.

Owen is much taller than me, being the case that he is over six feet tall. His black, unruly hair falls over his face, as it always has, and his blue eyes, so bright that they are impossible, are still full of secrets.

We were together for two years, in which I poured myself into him body and soul. I always loved him, but only when I was 17 I was able to confess it to him, but at that time, Owen didn't want to have anything serious with anyone, because he said he wanted to wait for his Luna.

Sabrina, however, convinced me that I deserved more, so I talked to Owen and asked him to make us formal. He seemed to want to accept, but then one afternoon he came back, and something had changed in him. He told me that what was between us couldn't go on, that I had to forget about it, find my own way and try to be happy. That's when we broke up, when I decided to leave the pack, while promising myself that I would never fall into his ways again.

And yet, here we are, with his hand on my skin as he guides us, far away from everyone else. Sabrina was stunned to see him heading our way, and I think she wanted to say a few things to him when he asked me to chat alone, but she held back. She knows I'm a big girl and that I can figure this out. I need to figure it out if I'm going to have any peace while I'm with the pack.

Owen then leads us to the beach, and we descend the stairs down from the property to the white sand. The lullaby of the sea greets me, and the walk fills me with memories of the past. We grew up here, playing in the middle of the sand, dreaming of the day when we would have our own wolves.

This beach saw the first touch of our lips, and also, the last hurt look, when we parted.

“Wait," I ask him, and I separate from him, as I stop on the last step. I take off my shoes and leave them resting on the wood, and then, my feet bury themselves with pleasure in the white and smooth sand, while I let out a sigh of satisfaction.

“I don't understand how you could leave the sea behind. You're more mermaid than wolf," he jokes, as I walk along the beach.

“I had to do it," I clarify, and avoid his gaze. I always said I had left to find my own way in my studies, but we both know my words are just lies.

“I never wanted you to leave, Hals," he admits. His hand reaches out to me, seeking to brush my skin... and I avoid it, while hugging myself.

“Yes, well. Like I said, it was necessary. We both needed to broaden our horizons. To free ourselves a little from each other's presence."

“No. That's where you're wrong. I never wanted you to be far from me."

I stop. We both do and I feel the caress of the water on my feet. It's warm and makes me long for a dip. He's right, I'm more mermaid than wolf.

Owen looks at me, and the weight of his gaze manages to bend me. I lift my face and meet his eyes, and I hate myself knowing that I want him. I want to cut the distance and stand on tiptoe, sink my fingers into his silky hair and feel his hands wrap around my waist. I want to lose myself in him, today more than ever, but I know I cannot. I will never be his again.

“Yeah, well... You had a strange way of showing you wanted me around," I tell him with a slightly acid tone in my voice.

“Hailey..." he pronounces my name carefully, and I know he has the strength to make me fall again. His hands get me, places one on my arm, the other on my face, as he turns me toward him. I look at him, dumbfounded and not understanding why he is doing this, but his gaze captivates me, and even though I try, I feel unable to move. “I never meant to hurt you," he says. “And I hate that it had to be that way. All I wanted was to protect you. I hated the idea of being with you, and that someday a stranger might come along and just... sneak into my heart." His hand caresses my cheek, but a bitter laugh leaves my lips, as my eyebrows arch.

“So, we're back to square one. Do you want me to think that you never fought for us, for the possibility that your Luna might separate us in the future?"

“I was afraid of hurting you," he admits.

“No. What you were afraid of was seeing yourself confronted with a situation that exceeded your expectations," I call out to him, and try to move away from him. When I take a step backwards, however, he comes with me, and advances towards me, making it look like we are dancing.

“You don't want to see it, I know, but you have to understand me. All my life the importance of an Alpha and his Luna, and what was I going to do if that happened? If I was with you, if I promised you that I would love you forever, and then, someone else would come along and steal your place."

“Well, you don't have to worry about that now. I remind you, Owen, we're not together anymore. You and I are past history."

My voice is firm then, and I remember why I decided to see him. It wasn't to melt for him, or to yearn for another chance, but because I was looking to prove to myself that I could handle this. I was able to pull away from him and again, I can do it.

My skin separates from his, but Owen doesn't allow it, he takes another step towards me and holds me back. His hand is placed on my waist, and the other, he lifts my chin, as his fingers hold me firmly, but gently. My hands clench into fists and press against his chest, but the closeness is so close that I almost feel I can taste his breath.

“You know you're lying," he challenges me.

“Don't you dare contradict me on this," I tackle him, and he holds me a little tighter around the waist, not forcing me, but preventing me from pulling away.

“Hailey, I know you feel it too."

“You know I feel something?" I rebut, with my heart racing, and he smiles.

“I can hear your heart. Don't forget it," he reminds me, and I curse his wolf.

“Well, what about that?"

“That I know you still feel the same way about me. And that you sense how I feel about you."

“Does it matter? The stupid situation with your Luna hasn't changed."

“Yes, it has," he clarifies. “Because I finally got her. It's you, Hailey. You're—"

“Am I interrupting something?" says a voice behind us, and we both jump. Owen lets go of me, and I pull away from him, noticing a stranger, who looks slightly familiar. A tall man, with a neat beard and curly hair that falls over his shoulders...

“Angus," says Owen, and I feel the bite in his words.

“You're not interrupting anything. Just my departure," I affirm, pulling away from Owen, before he can take my hand again, or before he can even touch me.

“Hailey," he calls my name, but I ignore him.

“No. We're done here," I tell him in a hurry, and without giving me time to think, I start running, rushing across the sand and trying to find shelter in the distance.

Seeing each other again was a mistake. I should have known from the beginning. I shouldn't have come back.