ALORA
I was snapped back to reality with a violent shove from my mother’s dream, feeling like I’ve failed her yet again. Every time I dream walked in her dreams, it’s always the same one and she always pushes me out at the same scene. The one where I see my father- the only time I’ve ever seen him- and my mother facing him defiantly, then nothing more. I’m not sure that I want to see it beyond that point, to be honest. It’s like she has hidden that part of her away and acts as if it never happened.
I know it affects her because on the really bad nights I see her trembling afterwards, and sometimes she’ll retreat into herself and withdraw into her own little world for days at a time. It’s at those times I feel so helpless.
“Stupid Goddess,” I mumbled under my breath. “What good are these powers if I can’t help the one person I love who needs it?” I stood up and ran away with tears streaming down my face, going to a nearby field to scream out my frustration.
“How could you do this to her?? Why did you pair her with him? Of all wolves, knowing what he was? Why?!”, I yelled and flailed my arms at the dark sky until all my emotions were spent.
I collapsed into a sitting position, feeling helpless. I just want to help my mom, to help take her pain away- that’s all! I have to believe that everything will be made right in it’s time, but how? How do you make up for something like this?
“At least I can help take some of her shame away,” I mumble again, which makes her days a little easier. So I dry my tears and got up from my tantrum, walking back to the house to get some much-needed sleep.
When I got close to our place and smelled his scent, Tristan stepped out of the shadows of the forest. He must have heard me so I just stopped and stared at him, afraid that he might approach me. ‘And, here he comes. Fantastic.’ I sighed inwardly. What does a she-wolf have to do to get some sleep here!
“Damn it,” I whined out loud to myself, knowing perfectly well he could hear me. “Oh, hey Tristan,” I begrudgingly greeted. “Sorry if I woke you up or bothered you.”
“You didn’t,” he replied, giving me a puzzled look as he checked over me to see if I was okay. “I was already on my way over to see you. Are you okay Ali?”, he asked, drawing closer to me until he’s less than a foot away and definitely closer than what I’m comfortable with.
“It’s Alora to you, thank you very much. And I’m just peachy, thanks!” I replied with as much sarcasm as I can force into my response, and rolled my eyes. Why was he already on his way over to see me?
At this moment I want nothing to do with any male wolf, regardless of how “nice” they were. I’ve seen enough of how the opposite s*x treats their mates and girlfriends, and I want no part in that. I mean Tristan has never done anything to hurt me or make me not trust him, but I don’t want to give him an opportunity to do just that.
And the whole mate thing? Ha! The Moon Goddess can shove that idea straight up her, well, you know where. No thank you! Tristan must’ve sensed the hostility coming from me because his hands shot up in a defensive position while he smirked.
“If you’re so ‘peachy’, then why were you yelling and cursing at the sky? And why did you growl just then? Is it your mom again?”, he asked, although I couldn’t tell if he’s being genuinely concerned or making small talk because I know he likes me.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” I said as my body tensed and raised one eyebrow while I crossed my arms. This guy is hard to figure out- and I’m usually really good at reading people. Call it survival skills or whatever, but to make it in a lone wolf community it’s a must-have if you want to survive. But he always seems to close part of himself off from me like he has something to hide, and I don’t like it. I don’t trust him, or any male wolf for that matter, but especially him. And my wolf doesn’t trust him either which just proves my point.
He stopped suddenly and reached to grab my hand- which is bold for him, not to mention stupid. A low growl rumbled in my chest and my hair stood on end while my wolf went into defensive mode, ready to shift and pounce. I wasn’t the best warrior but I knew the basics, and I was as scrappy as they came. I had a reputation for fighting dirty, but when you’re a female and men try to mess with you all the time, you learn ways to give yourself the advantage over their big, bulky muscles and dimwitted brains.
I was smaller than most werewolf men, but I am not that easy to take down. At 5’8” and about 140lbs of mostly lean muscle in my human form, I can pack a punch but it’s my wolf that is most impressive. She’s the size of an alpha, since my dad is one and my mother comes from an alpha line as well, but no one but my mother and Morgana have ever seen her and for good reason- to stay hidden. We’ve been surviving in this gods-forsaken group of wolves for almost 18 years and have had to fight and claw for every scrap of food and place in this group for both me and my mom, but if either of us shift and he finds us... I must have outwardly shuttered at the thought crossing my mind.
“Are you cold?”, he asked as he started to unbutton his shirt until I put my hand up to stop him, shaking my head no.
“I just had a very unpleasant thought, is all.” I whispered and put a little more distance between us as we stood on the path.
My mom always says I’m too defensive, always wondering what the angles are, what they want from us, and constantly looking over my shoulder, but someone has to be. Usually the rest of the men aren’t too bad since I’m pretty much off limits because Justin says so, but these single, unmated girls can get nasty. They view everyone as an enemy, a potential threat to them finding a mate within our group. I’m not anything spectacular if you ask me, but I look a lot like my mom and everyone thinks she’s beautiful.
Immediately Tristan backed away and aborted his attempt at hand holding and shirt removing, anger flashing for a moment in his eyes. He exhaled an annoying sigh, hanging his head in exasperation. Probably because of my stubbornness.
“Oh for the love of gods Alora- I wasn’t trying anything on you! You just looked like you could use a friend and I want to be yours! Is that so hard to imagine?”, he asked with exasperation. “I want to help!”
“You? You want to help? Ha!” I laughed, truly entertained by his delusions. “How can you help us, Tristan? We aren’t a pack! No one cares about each other, we’re all runaways and misfits! We are not family, friends, or anything resembling that! We only stay together because we need to survive. So excuse me if I don’t believe a damn word that comes out of your mouth,” walking away from him angrily. Seriously? Friends? I just shake my head, calling bullshit on everything he just said. The look of longing in his eyes after he finished speaking said we were anything but friends.
Oh, no doubt Tristan is handsome, even outside of lone wolf standards- which is, let’s face it, not impressive to begin with. He’s got dark brown hair, grey-blue eyes and chiseled features covered by golden skin. His body isn’t too bad, but he does have a lot of scars from hunting prey and fighting rogues. Because of his size and the fact that he can seriously fight, he’d be considered a Beta in a real pack, but here he’s pretty much just Justin’s right-hand-man, doing most of the hunting and seeing to the everyday running of our little “group”. He lives for the fighting, and I have a sneaking suspicion that he hates that Justin is our “leader”. I just hope that he never takes over- it would mean disaster for me and my mom.
Stomping my way to my home and wanting to push the boy out of my mind, I surveyed our “camp”, which is nothing more than a cluster of small cabins and and single-room buildings that look like they were built by some humans a long time ago and were abandoned. Some still had running water and some electricity most of the time. There was a big fire pit off to the side of the cabins next to a different field where we would roast meats for the group and hold our meetings. It served as our unofficial gathering spot for Justin, our leader, to deal with issues. Another small hut was just beyond that where a former nurse lived and has a treatment room with a recovery area. She serves as our “doctor”, but if it’s anything serious we usually call on Morgana or get them to the nearby human village doctor. Justin had set up a deal with him where he knows about our kind but will keep quiet for the occasional problem that we need to handle for him.
Justin had found this place after he was stripped of his alpha title from his former pack, and then he found my mom on death's door several years later when they had already established themselves here. He took pity on her and protected her from all the other wolves and then I was born, and he made it his personal mission to make sure we were safe. We took one of the cabins and we sorta just joined all the other misfits. But, it’s a roof over our heads and a place to eat and sleep, and for now it’s safe.
Speaking of said house- I need sleep. Badly.
“What can I do to prove it to you?”, I heard him yell back at me, and I stopped to turn around. “Not a damn thing!” I yelled back, turning back around and flipping my middle finger up to him as I entered my house. I just want sleep!
I peeked inside to see mom sleeping on her cot. I went over and pulled the blanket up over her shoulders, kissing her goodnight. I notice her eyelids fluttering fast, and I knew she was dreaming again. But this time I just can’t dream walk- not twice in one night. It took too much out of me and besides. I know it’s the same thing and I just can’t take anymore.
“Please Goddess, help her have some peace,” I asked half-heartedly, knowing that no one hears and there will be no answer. Then I go to my cot to lie down with the ragged blanket, and try to get some sleep myself. Tomorrow is a big hunt day for the pack and it always riles everyone up. At least I’m still not of age and no one can do anything to me, but that time is quickly passing I feared. It’s like I can sense that something is just on the horizon and whatever it is, it’s not going to help me or my mom in any way. “Please just take us away,” I plead with her as I finally relax enough to get some sleep.