The Moonstone Wolf

CHAPTER 5- Mourning What Was Lost

WARNING: Possible triggers of trauma and processing s****l abuse and violence. While there is no actual violence that takes place, it does deal with the aftermath of such abuse.

ALORA

   “GET THE HELL OFF MY DAUGHTER!” I heard my mother’s voice scream at him, awakening me from the darkness.  Her voice held such anger and authority that the door to the cabin and the bedroom both blew open with so much force they came off the hinges and flew across the room.

   Then everything stopped except for me. Tristan was frozen in time above me, the fire in the fireplace was no longer moving, everything was at a complete standstill.

   I turn my head just sobbing, never so glad to see her in my life. Her eyes were so bright and clear for the first time that I could remember.

   She had a look of wrath that I had never seen.  She had her hand raised up, making it seem like she was the one in control of whatever was happening. Was she doing this?!

   “ALORA!!!” She screamed when she saw me, choking back her tears. “Oh my gods, my baby! Please tell me I’m not too late!”

   “MOM! MOM!!” I sobbed hysterically. Relief washed over me as I realized that she came to get me.  My mom came to get me!

   “Oh my sweet baby, let’s get you out of here!” She reached up and helped me free myself from him, all the while looking at him with nothing but pure hatred. 

   “NOT. MY. DAUGHTER!”, she screamed at him, her energy blowing him back through the wall of his cabin in one huge blow.

   “I’m so sorry! I tried to keep him from bringing me in here, I tried to get away but I couldn’t!  I’m so weak- I couldn’t shift, I couldn’t fight back, nothing! I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” I cried between sobs.

   “Shhhhh, honey, it’s okay. I’ll explain everything later. Right now, we need to go. I can’t keep him frozen much longer,” she warned.

   We started making our way to the door when we heard a low, terrifying growl behind us come to life and we froze in our tracks.

   “Wrong Esmane! Your daughter belongs to me now- just like you do! You both. Are. MINE!”, Tristan growled.

   The power emanating from him was ridiculous- where was this coming from?  He’s not a true blood alpha. He’s a self-appointed one, and that does not bring any extra power to him than any other rogue.

I started shaking uncontrollably, terror gripping my heart as his lustful gaze swallowed me whole.

   I looked at my mom’s face as the color drained from it. She recognized Tristan’s wolf, his source of power. But how?

   He seemed to recognized her too. Smiling coyly, he responded with some interesting news.

   “Oh, back then you knew of our family by a different name. Kane ring any bells?”

   No. Friggin. Way.   A descendant of my father’s wolf?!  In Tristan?!  How the hell?!  And he assaulted me?!

   “I don’t care what lineage you’re from! You will NEVER have us for your own, you sick, sadistic bastard!  You will never touch her again!”, my mother said icily.

   She raised her hand as he shifted in mid-leap, and just like that we disappeared without a trace.

   I never would have thought in a million years that my mom would be the very one to rescue me.

   My mom is a bad**s.

*ALORA- SECONDS LATER*

   “Ali! ALI! Open your eyes honey. Oh gods, what did he do to you?! You’re okay now- we’re okay!” I heard my mom say to me over and over again, hugging me so close.

   My eyes flew open and I pushed her away, suddenly angry.

   I scream at her “NO! M-m-mom!  I am NOT okay! Do you know what he did to me?!  What the hell happened?  Why are you like, well, you right now?  What the hell happened back at Tristan’s?!”

And most importantly, “WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?! Why couldn’t I shift or defend myself?! I couldn’t fight him off!! And where the hell are we?!”

   Could ANY of their answers help me feel any better after what I just went through? I just broke down sobbing with my knees to my chest on the floor, feeling the soreness between my thighs and smelling the metallic odor of blood.

   I can’t even look at anyone. All I can feel are his hands, his mouth, his breath all over my body, his bites... I hurt everywhere, I feel so used and disgusting.  Oh gods, what happened to me...

   “Alora? Honey? Here’s a blanket and some hot t… Oh gods…” Morgana’s voice trails off as she sees the condition of my body. Her jaw dropped and regret formed in her eyes, continuing in a wavering voice as tears finally fell on her cheeks.

   “We’re at my house. Here, come over by the fire and sit down with me. Let your mom re-group and then we’ll both answer all your questions.” I realize what she said and I shake my head violently.

   “No, no! I can smell him on me. I-I  n-need to b-b-bathe. Where can I g-go?!” I frantically ask.

   Morgana points the way with widened eyes and turns on the water for me. When she leaves I move it to the hottest setting and jump in- I don’t care how warm it is. I just want it to burn away the disgust, the memories, his scent, everything.

   I don’t want to feel of his hands on me, his eyes roaming over me, I want to burn any feeling of him off of my skin. If I could sit myself in a boiling kettle, I would.

   Oh gods, I can smell him!  I throw up it’s so revolting to me, losing everything I have inside of me and still it’s not enough.

   I looked around and saw a sponge and a bar of soap. I grabbed both and lather myself up, scrubbing every available surface of my skin until I feel like it’s clean. The bite marks all over my body just keep bleeding, making the water run red down the drain. I think I’m actually rubbing skin off on some areas and it’s still not enough.

   After I can’t scrub anymore and the water runs cooler, I just collapse in the tub, letting the water wash over me as I sob uncontrollably.

   I hear the door open and I feel my mom behind me open the curtain, climbing in behind me fully clothed. She doesn’t say anything but I can feel her sadness, her guilt- she knows exactly what I’m going through.

She gathered me in her arms and just held me, stroking my head feeling her shake as well. She’s crying with me, crying for me, and I cling to her like my life depends on her because right now?  It does.

   I feel like my heart is tearing in two and my wolf is just curled into a part of my mind, way out of reach. She’s just a small black ball of fur on the ground.

   But I can feel my mom’s wolf trying so hard to connect with her, her empathy and comfort going out in waves.

   Anything at this point will help.

   And time.

   Lots and lots of time.

   We just all four sit there together, mourning what was lost and thankful for what wasn’t, trying to let the cool water wash our brokenness away...

   After a while I hear her humming a random tune, and it feels so good, making a warmth spread to the inner, darkest parts of my heart and soul.

   I suddenly remember that this is one of her gifts, and I wonder why the Moon Goddess gave us these. Did she know what was going to happen and she gave us the very things that we’d need to go on and live?

   Regardless, I am thankful for this small gift in my life at the moment.

   After what seemed like forever, mom turned off the cool water. We turned to face each other and she tries to move the hair out of my face, cupping my jaw as she looked me over frantically, tears falling rapidly.

   “Oh sweetheart, I am so, so sorry. I tried to get to you as fast I could, I tried to make it to you. I am so sorry my baby, I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please, please, please forgive me,” she cried as she looked in my eyes and over my body, drawing her fingertips lightly across the marks.

   “Mom, you need to stop. I have nothing to left to cry out,” I chuckled and smiled very, very small.  I looked around and saw some clothes in a pile and a towel, so I dried off and wrapped my hair up in the same towel.

   “Morgana, do you have anything for my bite marks?” I asked. She smiles at me and came over and spoke some words I didn’t understand, waving her hand in front of me. I looked down and I saw them disappearing before my eyes.

   All I can muster is a small ‘thank you’ and she smiles sweetly. I hate it when people pity me.  And even though the marks my be gone physically, they’ll forever be in my soul.