Torn pages

Tarnished Reflections: A Journey Through Heartache

Cheating isn't about physicality.

Cheating in this generation doesn’t start with physicality.

It starts with a conversation, a friend request, a like, someone asking for their snapchat username or a heart reaction to someone's story.

I've always had my eyes on Lucy, right from the time we met in school. She was a fair queen, plump and beautiful. She had the most seductive eyes one can get lost it at first glance. She was somewhat smart, though I wasn't smart either. She had a good dress sense and smelt like lavender every morning.

My friends teased me and called me ‘love boy’ whenever they see me drooling at Lucy's appearance. I was determined to make Lucy my girlfriend at all cost. I was ready to do anything for her - give her money, buy her flowers, take her to the beach, go for shopping, attend dance classes, buy or make her her favourite meal. All I could think, breathe and say was LUCY. I was drowned by love.

The very day I summoned courage, and also due to peer pressure, to ask her out, was the biggest and most uncertain step I had ever taken in my 20 years of existence. To my greatest surprise, she said ‘yes’. I had thrown a big party to celebrate with my homies that evening. My guys were really happy for me. Lucy was also present and she came along with her friends. All night, I couldn't take my eyes off her.

She was beautiful and I was drown in it.Like every normal dating couple, I wished we had the best relationship ever. And if life willed,we would probably get married. I gave her every inch and bit of love my heart could produce. I was there for her through her good moments, her bad moments and her confused moments. Sometimes, after school, I'll walk her home, buying her ice cream to lick as we locked hands in warm desire.

Anyone who met me could smell the scent of a ‘finished man' around me. I introduced her to my siblings and they all took likeness of her. My parents welcomed her like a family member, and above all, gave her her due respect as my girlfriend. I treated her like a queen, even though to me, she was a goddess.School session was over and we all began making plans for the university. Lucy and I decided to take exams for the same university so we could stay together, forever. We took the exams, went for the interviews and we both made the merit list,though I was a little lower. I was most elated we were finally continuing our love journey in the same environment.

At university, I was so protective of her. Need I mention, I'm a very jealous guy. I don't joke with my girl. I ensured any guy who tried to make advances at her was so aware she had a man. I displayed all forms of PDA to send clear messages to whoever was watching.

At first she didn't want it, but with time, she enjoyed it.We spent quality time together in private as well, wallowing in the scent and sweat of our bodies, exchanging passionate heat and body fluids with reckless abandon. She was indeed a tigress in bed. I wasn't bad either. Atleast the junior me can give full evidence of that. I gave perfect strokes when sliding in, making her release the joyful moans from her lungs.

We made several trips to cloud 9 at different times and places you can ever imagine. I gave in to all her desires and made sure I satisfied her fully. The queen must never go hungry!.Some people say, nothing too good lasts for long. Indeed, nothing too good lasts for long because some weeks after we started university, Lucy's attitude began to look suspicious.She kept acting like she had a secret she was hiding and afraid to let me know about. My friends, experts at smelling something fishy, told me to watch my girl closely as something was amiss.I began to keep tabs on Lucy, just like most guys would do to ensure no one snatches their girl from them. I also began to pump in more efforts into the relationship.

But that wasn't enough. Lucy began feeling uninterested in our conversations and love making. She sometimes becomes absent minded while we're discussing trivial issues. She ignores my calls and pretend she never saw them. She began to skip my messages and give excuses her phone was bad. Most times, I would call and her number would ring as unreachable. I began to grow in my suspicions. Was Lucy seeing another guy? Getting closer to her house, I could hear voices of people having a hearty conversation. A male and female. I didn't want my mind to decide for me, so I went ahead to knock. And immediately the voices went quiet. I asked Lucy to open the door. She reluctantly did and immediately started explaining that the guy was her church member. I never asked for an explanation.

Only the guilty tends to defend themselves.Looking at the guy, I grabbed Lucy and planted a kiss on her lips, not taking my eyes off the guy. I wanted him to read it clearly that this girl was off his limit. With that, I took her by the hand and left. Lucy started getting closer to me after that day.

I thought she had finally come to her senses that she was in a relationship and should not be entertaining the opposite gender in her private space. Little did I know that the snake was quietly brewing it's poison, waiting for the right time to strike.I caught them red handed.

They were so deep in their love making session. His hands were on her bare breast as he stroke her from the back, making her eyes turn and her moans fill the room.

They were sweating frantically. I stood, watching. Within minutes, they were giving each other blow jobs, ignorant of the fact that I was right there watching them. I cried. Never have I ever done that, but standing there with a bouquet of flowers in my hands, I cried.

I turned back and walked home, totally shattered as to what my girlfriend was doing with my lecturer. My lecturer! I never knew it was heading in that direction. I had always done the best I could for her and all she could do in return was have s*x with my lecturer. Was it for grades? Money? Or the fun of it?I had never suspected a thing to ever happen between them.I decided to keep my distance so I don't run mad.Lucy came days later to complain as to why I haven't checked on her for the past few days, saying I was a terrible boyfriend. It took the whole of me to restrain me from expressing my anger. (I had a very terrible anger level). She kept gaslighting me and making me feel I was bad. She kept raising her voice to all who cared to listen to make them see what a terrible guy I have been. I was shocked. Lucy! How dare she! My homies, seeing I was getting to the last point of patience, gently took her away. One offered to drive me home, of which I agreed. Getting home, I cried again.

I loved Lucy. I was madly in love with Lucy but she's making me go crazy. Should I confront her? Should I break up with her? I was very stupid when it comes to love. Very stupid.I decided to let things go by. Kept on loving her and trying to see ways I could please her. I had to go watch pornography to learn how to better satisfy her in bed, as I thought I wasn't giving her well that's why she slept with another. I did extra jobs to gather more money to spoil her. But then again, she seemed uninterested.

Little did I know, she was sleeping with many other guys and I became the talk of the school. Ladies looked at me with disdain and even guys were making jest of me. What happened?Lucy kept spreading lies about how I was having erectile dysfunction.

What?My whole reputation was tainted and there was absolutely nothing I could do to redeem it. My love story turned out to be a nightmare that I can't comprehend!