Hidden Lover

Betrayal is never a heartache

“Of course not!” I replied quickly.

“You're not sure about him too, huh?” she smirked and raised her left brow at me.

Scott and I were in a relationship for almost two months. He was popular way back in our university days. We're the same age but he’s a month older than me. We studied business but with different majors. I chose Marketing and he picked Operations because he needed to manage their shipping company. 

He was my long-time crush 6 feet tall with broad shoulders and strong character. We were able to know each other because we had a few same classes and we had been together in our group projects. A lot of women from the campus really wanted to get his attention and he could easily get whoever he wanted to sleep with. Who would not if he has those fascinating characters, right?

A month before our graduation, he asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. I was surprised at first but eventually accepted him. Of course,  I was crushing him and I was flattered that he likes me to be his girl.

Maybe Audrey was right, he sees me as a challenge. For few times, he initiated that we should do the thing but I resisted him. I felt like I’m not 100% certain about him when it comes to us. I’m not sure of how serious he was about our relationship because I noticed some of his behavior doesn’t suit me well. Sometimes I was just adjusting by the way he is when we are together. He was kind of impulsive and when it comes to my anxieties, I couldn’t feel the contentment of being at ease.

It was my promise that I will be careful when it comes to trusting myself to whoever I might be in a relationship with. I don’t want to make a mistake because I assured my parents that I will take good care of myself. I pointed it to myself that if one day I'll get married, I don't want to get divorced in the entire relationship because I don't want my children to feel the same way I did. I have a lot of dreams to reach for and I’m just starting. At my age of 22, I know a lot of beautiful opportunities are coming my way.

A month after our graduation, I gathered all my credentials from the university to apply for a job. Audrey helped me by sending my application to different companies and she also asked some of her friends for assistance. She started working two years ago as a financial analyst in one of the prominent companies in Boston. That was why she was able to establish some connections. I was just crossing my fingers every time she informed me about my application. I hope I could land a good job in a company that will help me boost my capabilities in the future. 

“I know you are hurting, but he doesn’t deserve you, Lauren,” she consoled. I kept on sobbing because I couldn’t accept that I was cheated. I haven’t done anything bad to him but he chose to break my heart.

She patted my back, “When it comes to love, you should follow the traffic lights in order to protect yourself,” I furrowed at her because I have no idea why traffic signs were involved in loving someone.

“First, the red. You have to stop. You have to stop thinking that you’re less or not enough that was why he cheated. You need to stop thinking that you don’t deserve someone better than him,” I stilled because she was right.

“Second, the yellow. You need to be ready. Ready in opening your life to somebody else. Ready to continue your life without him anymore. Ready with the reality that you may end up meeting the wrong person again. So, you need to be ready with a strong heart if you’re going to try again,” I looked at her with parted lips because that was informative.

“Lastly, the Green. You need to move forward. Because no matter how fast you run, if you’re running backward you will never reach the destination that you want. You will never reach the finish line. Move forward for you to be able to meet new people. You need to move forward to be able to discover life beyond that life you have with that person you risked to fall in love with,” I shook my head in disbelief because she was fantastic at everything that she had imparted to me.

“Audrey, are you for real?” my only response as I kept on wiping my tears with the handkerchief that was handed to me by the stranger. In all fairness, it was clean and smells good.

“I’ve been there, Lauren. I had experience heartaches and you know that. But I chose to be strong and you should too,” she counseled and I don’t know what to do without her. She really is one of my inspirations in life because she motivates me to be better.

“Lauren, remember this. Betrayal is not heartache, it is definitely a chance. A chance to find someone who will never cheat on you. A chance to know those who aren't worthy of your time and effort. It is never a heartache or disappointment, it's a chance to move forward and to find someone you deserve,” I couldn’t utter a word because she really was extraordinarily good on her views.

“You are a smart and amazing person. Our world has a lot of s**t, you should know how to deal with it,” I saw a hint of a smile from her. I shook my head because surely she has a plan in mind.

“Cheer up! Stop crying and get ready because we are going to have fun!” she announced snappily. Damn Audrey!

"Lauren, promise me that when you see each other again - break off your relationship with him," I nodded because I know that it would be the right thing to do. Sooner, he will end our relationship, why not make the move first for me to have the pride whenever our path crossed around the city in the future. I don't want to be known as his ex-girlfriend who he cheated on just for him to be with that famous model. I don't want people we know to pity me!

"Audrey, I will not wait for us to see each other again," she looked at me confused about what I had said. I reached for my phone, composed a message, and pushed the send button.

"What did you do?" her brows furrowed. I showed her my phone and there she read the content,

"Scott, let's break up,"