Reina of Hanneau (English)

UNCERTAINTY

Reina is startled awake by the incessant thud outside her bedroom door. It isn't too loud for her to be startled. It's only that her hearing has become more sensitive nowadays.

She the pregnancy, she has grown accustomed to things she wasn’t before. She felt like she became a whole different person.

For instance, she likes to sleep in a wide bed with only two pillows. But now, she wants to crowd herself with several pillows. Another thing is, she hates sleeping on her back as it makes her feel like drowning. Yet now, she has no other choice but to do so and it feels comfortable in a way. 

Aside from those few things, the huge leap for her involves her husband. She wants him to be near her all the time before she even realizes it. She used to avoid him whenever she had the chance, and she never left her room if there was nothing vital to talk about. Yet now, she wants to feel him beside her always.

And it seems like the feeling is mutual. He hardly keeps a distance. Even when working in the lodge, he visits her back home whenever he is on break. 

She stretches lightly before leaving her bed. The breeze is already warm, so it must have been hours after sunrise.

Slowly, she opens her door, trying to peek at what is going on outside. Kayomi must have left for school since the house seems silent aside from the noise by the garden.

Feeling hungry, she walks towards the kitchen to check for food.

Surprisingly though, her share of food is already placed on the table. All she has to do is sit, take off the lid, and start eating. Very convenient.

However, eating alone makes her feel lonely. So, she decided to take it to the garden to eat. But before that, she needs to brew some tea she can share with Mitsuei. 

She prepares some snacks for him while she waits. Once done brewing, Reina places two cups in her tray. It appears to be a bit packed, considering there are lots of dishes on the tray. But as long as it fits, then it's fine.

With light steps, she walks to the hallway while trying to keep the balance of her tray. She didn’t want to spill the tea. With the kettle in there, it makes it a little heavy. But it is not a difficult feat. The only challenge is opening the sliding door. 

‘Oh, I know!’

She places the tray just right above her bump while one hand keeps the balance. Then, one hand slides the door open. And voila! She gets to the garden without trouble. 

Or so she thought. 

As soon as she opens the door, Mitsuei turns his head to her. The smile that crossed his lips immediately turned sour when he saw her carrying an overcrowded tray. He even catches her using her bump as support for the tray.

“Did you just place the heavy tray on your pregnant stomach?” Mitsuei scowls at her as he drops the hammer on his hand to rush towards her.

“It isn’t that heavy,” Reina insists as Mitsuei takes the tray off her grasps. 

Mitsuei groans angrily and reminds her of her predicament once more. He repeats the same thing as Yuuma does whenever he visits for her regular check-up.

He looks completely stressed too out in contrast to his smile from earlier. 

“Yes, yes. I know that. Carrying that much wasn’t a big deal anyway. I can at least do that on my own.”

“Hah! Stubborn as ever,” Mitsuei grunts as he places the tray on the wooden floor. 

Mitsuei insists on holding Reina for support as she takes her seat close to the tray. She declines, claiming that it is neither unpleasant nor harmful.

Mitsuei could not say anything more due to her persistence. He only sighs in defeat before sitting on the other side of the tray. 

They have set aside their differences and sat in silence while they both enjoyed their meals. Somehow the atmosphere around them is as warm as the breeze. A serenity that nourishes one's soul.

Mitsuei grabbed the tray as soon as they were both done eating, forcing Reina to remain still.

Mitsuei barely lets her do any chores since everyone started to notice the growing bump on her stomach. No chores, no carrying stuff, no bending down, and no going anywhere without a company. Much like her first few days in the Sou residence. 

However, the feeling is different. She kind of enjoys this now actually. Well, not if Mitsuei decides to exaggerate things. 

That aside, she enjoys watching Mitsuei working so hard on the furniture he is making. The thought behind it is enough to lift her heart in delight. Touching, indeed. 

After eating, she remains sitting on the same spot. Mitsuei briefly left to take care of their dishes while she basks in the warm sun. 

Shortly after, Mitsuei returns to his work. He seems to be too absorbed in his work that he keeps ignoring the sweat rolling down on his face. He only wipes them off if they drop on his eyes. 

In between jobs, he would ask her questions. Like if she was comfortable with having a crib in her room. Or if she has specific design or shape preferences.

“Well, I think I like a larger one. I do not mind it crowding my room, but as long as it fits, then it is alright with me,” Reina answers in honesty.

“That is true. I need to check the room for proper placement.” Mitsuei mumbles, thinking deeply as he looks at her. “Would it be alright if I enter your room?”

“Of course!” Reina exclaims, pulling herself up to guide him to her room.

“No, please. I can check by myself. That is if it’s okay with you.”

Reina nods in agreement. She does not see anything wrong with it. After all, it is still his house. Moreover, she has nothing to hide in there. 

It did not take long for Mitsuei to examine her room. Since she has barely any furniture in the room, there should be enough space for the crib.

Mitsuei grabs his tools and gets to work as soon as he returns. He spent days studying how to build the crib. Then he imagined how the furniture might look and drew some sketches on paper. If the lodge wasn't too busy, he'd spend the rest of the time prepping for his assignment.

Looking at him now, she can tell that he enjoys himself to the fullest. It makes something inside her warm and happy. She didn’t imagine him to be this true to his role. It is like he completely embraced the role of being the father.

But is this just him doing his part? Or are they truly becoming a real family now?

Whatever it is, she loves this side of him. She no longer felt the loneliness when she first arrived here. Until now, she had been concerned about whether she would be accepted as a member of the Sou family.

Despite having the same name, she felt like a far relative who had just come to meet and live with them for the first time. But now, she can declare with certainty that she has been warmly welcomed by everyone. Including the staff in Hanneau.

Aside from that, she is concerned about something. She's not sure if she's doing a good job as his wife and mother to Kayomi.

And since she is untrained for the role of a mother, she is not even sure if it will work out well for her when the baby comes out. Will she ever become the parent that a child needs? Kayomi was already an adolescent when she transferred here, so there is nothing much she can do for her. 

Out of worry, she gently caresses the bump on her abdomen. With time, this bulge will grow bigger along with the life inside of her. And once the baby comes out, what will become of her?

She gets antsier as time passes by. So many things also come to mind. It keeps piling up in her head. Yet, no answers. 

Fear and anxiety creep inside her.

Whenever she sees her bump, she gets scared of the day of her delivery. She tends to hear stories from the workers that giving birth is unbearably painful. It is like your body is going to split in half. It can also take a toll on the mother, resulting in her being ill or, worse, losing the child even before childbirth.

And if the delivery is successful, will she be able to carry out her duties properly? She has asked around about childbirth and parenting, but it was always different for everyone. She does not know what to do when people's advice is different from one another.

Even visitors in Hanneau would give her some recommendations after noticing her tummy. But being bombarded by all of that opposite advice only confused her as her fear worsened.

She is not too carefree to just wait and stay still. She wants to be prepared and perhaps master a few things before the baby arrives. 

“What’s that awful look on your face?” Mitsuei questions, interrupting her train of thought.

“Oh, nothing. I was only thinking of the day when the baby arrives.”

Surprisingly, Mitsuei lets go of the hammer on his hand. He makes his way towards her, falling on one knee. He then looks at her with earnest eyes.

“Marriage is made up of two people. If you have worries, you should share them with me. Taking care of the child is not your problem only. You and I will make it work. Am I right?”

Reina smiles, Mitsuei’s words comfort her in ways she cannot explain. They were simple, yet she feels the honesty behind them. While it may not abolish all her worries, but at least she feels like she can achieve it. 

“Yes, of course.”