Undetectables

5. Sorry

The next week went by in a blur. After hundreds of coffees, I was officially getting tired of the smell. My clothes smelled like coffee, my hair.... Hell, my blood probably smelled of coffee.

Bailey and I did our daily routine; staying alive and hidden. After two years of this, I was exhausted.

I didn’t want to hide any more. I didn’t want to fight any more. I just wanted to get out.

There was no time for self-pity. I needed to formulate a plan.

I’d heard rumors that there are people who help wolves get across the border, but they only make trips a few times a year. If I couldn’t find them in time, Bailey and I would be stuck here for even longer.

Today was my day off and it was time to make a trip to the store. Checking the weather on my phone, it looked like another blistery day. Though the cold typically didn’t bother me, the wind was annoying and my skin had grown sensitive to the pollution that blew around here. There were a few major, busier cities not far from Mount Vernon.

I had to pass by the coffee shop on my way to the store, and by the time I’d made it about five minutes, I couldn’t feel my nose. I decided to pop in for a hot chocolate and to warm up before heading to the store.

I walked up in line behind a tall man. He smelled familiar but I couldn’t recognize him from behind.

He walked up the counter and Gabriella peered around is large frame, “Brielle, couldn’t get enough of my beautiful face,” she winked.

“Brielle, that’s a beautiful name,” the tall man, who turned out to be Samuel, the hunter, turned around, giving me a lopsided grin.

A man like him would have made me swoon years ago. He was tall and muscular. Built like the warriors in my old pack. His hair was dirty blonde, cut short on the sides and a little longer on the top. He had bright green eyes with flecks of gold.

“Thanks,” was all I could say. I didn’t want to have a conversation with this man. He was dangerous. He’d kill me in a heartbeat if he knew.

“What are you ordering, sweetheart?” he asked with intent. I knew where this was going.

“A hot chocolate to go,” I squeaked, looking past him and directly at Gabriella. We may not be “friends” yet, but girl code, right?

“Ouch, you may as well switch my drink to iced. I’m going to need it after that,” Samuel chuckled.

“Handsome and funny. Brielle unfortunately doesn’t date, but if you’re ever bored, you know where to find me,” Gabriella flirted.

He grabbed his drink, turning towards me, “That’s a shame. If you ever change your mind, you have my number,” he winked, ignoring Gabriella, before leaving the coffee shop.

“I thought you weren’t going there again?”

She shrugged, “Like I said, you can bang them, no strings attached.”

“Well, thanks for that.”

Gabriella reached out, handing me my hot chocolate, “Us girls have to stick together.”

I smiled, appreciating the moment of kindness. I still haven’t figured out if she’s trustworthy, but I may as well try to make a friend while we’re stuck here.

The hot chocolate was just what I needed to keep myself warm throughout the remainder of my walk.

I hated grocery shopping. It gave me anxiety. I’d seen too many news stories unfold. The bombings. It made me sick walking through the aisles. This store was exceptionally small, the aisles were all too close for comfort, and it was almost like finding your way through a maze that gave you claustrophobia.

Moving as quickly as I could, I bumped into a hard wall. Rubbing my forehead, I moved back, realizing that it wasn’t a hard wall that I’d bumped into.

“Are you following me?” Samuel questioned jokingly.

“No. Just keep running into each other I guess,” I answered, groaning internally.

“Literally, might I add,” he chuckled.

“Sorry about that. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was walking.”

“No worries. You can bump into me any time,” Samuel smiled. He had a kindness in his eyes, but I knew the truth behind them. He had a killer instinct. That’s why he was in the field that he is. You don’t join the Eradication unless you have the stomach for it. At least that was how I perceived the situation.

War was one thing. Countries went to war for centuries, but this, this was something entirely different. Fear crept into the minds of people with too much power and, in the end, we paid for it.

The longer I stood in the store, the more the uneasy feeling in my stomach grew. I was always looking over my shoulder everywhere I went, but spending unnecessary time anywhere was a big no.

“I better get going. My sister will be home soon.”

Samuel looked as if I’d punched him in the gut, though I had a feeling I’d be seeing him again in the near future.

“Oh, okay. Well, I will see you around. I’m stationed here for the next six months,” he added.

I only nodded, basically running towards the checkout lane.

“Wait, Brielle,” he started, sounding out of breath as he jogged after me, “Not that it matters to you, but in case it does, Janelle is....was... my internet girlfriend. The boys like to poke fun at me because she ended up being a sixty-year-old man and I’d fallen for the scheme,” Samuel explained, scratching the back of his head and looking embarrassed.

That’s....unfortunate,” I nodded, unsure what else to say. He embarrassingly nodded, avoiding eye contact before muttering okay and doing the walk of shame back to his cart.

Sometimes I longed to be a human. Life would be so much easier. Simple things like going to the grocery store or accepting a handsome stranger's number were such an attractive idea. But I’d grown so paranoid that I went to work and stayed in the apartment. Though even if I were human, I wouldn’t be interested in a hunter. The idea of killing someone simply because of who they are just doesn’t sit right with me.

After carrying my bags of groceries home and putting them away, I felt fatigued. It was only three pm, so I decided to grab my laptop and devise a plan. I’d managed to hack to where it was virtually undetectable and once I was sure my searches were hidden; I began going down the rabbit hole.

The border was 55 miles from here. On foot, that would take us approximately 19 hours. The borders were heavily controlled near major cities, so we couldn’t take a direct route. Detouring to the west a bit would add a few hours, but Bailey and I could hide under the veil of the forest. Grabbing a notebook, I scribbled out a small map, making note of places to avoid and my guess on places that would be best to stick to.

The front door opened and slammed. In came a very angry Bailey. She stomped passed me on the couch, saying nothing.

The door to her room, once again, slammed with force. I hung my head, frustrated with our lack of relationship.

Once upon a time, we were close. She and I spent time together doing all kinds of things. She loved Colson like a brother. So, when he betrayed us, it wasn’t just my heart that was left broken, it was hers too. Not only did she blame me for my mother’s death, but she blames me for introducing him into our lives at all.

Closing my laptop and sitting it to the side, I decided to go check on her. Before my hand could make contact with the door, it swung open. My eyes met the steel gray of hers and that fire was back. Raging beneath the surface. If she had her wolf, I'm sure her eyes would be angrily swirling with her color too.

“Do you want to talk?”

Her eyes widened and she started laughing. Not the it’s funny type of laugh, the type of laugh where you are just genuinely shocked.

“You think that I want to talk to you about my problems?” she sneered. Her tone was icy and normally I wouldn’t push, but I knew firsthand how holding in your feelings can affect you. Depression creeps in like an invisible force. The tiny voice in your head tells you things that you know aren’t true, and you fight it at first, but eventually, you believe the tiny voice. Agree with it.

“Who else are you going to talk to, B? We only have each other.”

Her features morphed into anger, “AND THAT’S ALL YOUR FAULT. ISN’T IT?”

Her words fell over me like a ton of bricks. She’d never said it out loud before now.

“I’m sorry. For everything.”

“Sorry,” she muttered, huffing in disbelief, “Sorry doesn’t bring mom back.”

I could see her anger change to hurt. Bailey hasn’t cried in my presence since that day. I’ve heard her a few times in her room. Crying, smashing things, but she always managed to put on her best face before greeting me.

“You don’t think I know that? You aren’t the only one who lost something that day.” It was a low blow; I knew that, but I was so tired of biting my tongue. I've had to stay strong for her. The guilt ate away at me every single day, but I got up, and did what I had to do. There wasn’t time to feel sorry for myself. Never time to truly grieve. I knew if I stopped to think for too long, I would let the tiny voice win, and take me out of this cruel world.

She slammed the door in my face and I heard crashing on the other side. I’d struck a nerve. But I’m tired of holding all of this inside of me. This is the reality of our lives and we were going to have to figure our s**t out prior to trying to escape.

“Don’t forget it’s Wednesday,” I whispered quietly, but I knew she’d heard me. I heard her fist hit the wall, shaking the whole apartment.