A Hidden Truth

The Nightmares

[Jaxon]

    When I got to the guest house, Teddy was just behind me. He asked me to grab the bags in the back of his car, one of Red’s that he’d given Teddy until he could buy his own, while he unlocked the door and carried in the pizzas. We got everything settled quickly and I told him about Juniper and I being a couple.  

    “Did you hear what happened?” Teddy asked a little nervously.

    I scowled. “Trace called me. You weren’t reachable so she had to go. What the hell, Teddy?”

    “I turned off the ringer. Tomorrow, I’ll call the school and give them my office number. That was my bad. I get sucked into my phone when the notifications go off. It won’t happen again.” He promised.

    “Is she in her room?” I asked.

    “Yeah. She went to lie down before I left. Seeing him really shook her. You wanna go get her up?” He suggested.

    “Sure. Hopefully, tonight will be less active than last night.” I chuckled as I made my way to Juniper’s door.

    I took a deep breath before opening it. If she was dreaming, I didn’t want to go in unprepared. I opened the door and the sounds coming out of her room were horrible.

    “No! No! No! Please stop! It hurts! I’m sorry! No, no! I won’t do it again! Please, please!” She was screaming and crying.

    I rushed in and tried shaking her to wake her up, but she fought me and screamed more. I didn’t know what to do. Teddy pushed me away and got on the bed, holding her arms at her sides as she thrashed and begged.

    “Hush, Juni-bug. Teddy’s here, now. You’re safe, honey. He can’t get you. Teddy’s here. Teddy’s here. Hush, hush.” He repeated as he held her tightly.

    Her movements died down and she woke up. He released her and rolled to the side. Juniper clung to him and cried.

    “The ropes, Teddy. He had me again. He was punishin’ me. He’s gonna kill me, Teddy.” She whimpered.

    There was a lot I didn’t know about her time with Hank Merritt. This made me realize just how much was still left to learn. I wanted to be the one to soothe her, but I had no idea exactly how. He’d hurt her so much, my poor sweet girl. I leaned against the wall and slid down. More than ever before, I wanted to kill him.

    “Do you want Jaxon to come give you cuddles for a while, Juni-bug? Then you can get somethin’ to eat. I got your favorite pizza, honey.” He crooned to her.

    I felt my heart in my throat. What if she didn’t want me? I steeled myself for her refusal. I’d understand. She barely knows me. I knew I was enough, I was strong enough, protective enough, caring enough. I just had to hope she knew, too.

    “Is my Jaxon here?” She asked in a quivering voice. “Does he even want me when I’m a mess like this? When I’m weak and afraid. He deserves better than me, Teddy. I’m too broken for anyone.”

    “He’s here, little one. Just waitin’ for you to say you want him. He came runnin’ as soon as he heard you cryin’.” Teddy told her gently.

    “Please. I want him. I need him.” Juniper whispered in a small voice that made my heart hurt even as her request made it soar.

    Teddy pulled her arms from him and got off the bed. He reached out a hand to me and helped me stand. She was curled up in a small ball, half under the blankets. It was like she’d shrunk without him.

    “Go on, Jax. I’ll heat up the oven and put the pizza there to keep it warm. We got time.” He said quietly and left the room, closing the door behind him.

    I slipped off my shoes and crawled into the bed. I didn’t know what to do. Startling her seemed like a bad idea, so I laid back with my hands behind my head like I was just relaxing near her. Juniper would be the one to decide how much contact she wanted with me. If she were in control, it would make her feel better.

    “I’m right here, sweet. If you need some cuddle time.” I murmured.

    She was quick, sliding over in the bed and pressing her face into my chest as she wrapped her arms around me. I rested my hand at the top of her hip, feeling soft warm skin under my fingers. The blanket had slipped down and I could see she wasn’t wearing pants. I could feel her fingers working at the buttons on my shirt.

    “What are you doing, Juniper?” I asked.

    “I need to touch you. Please, Jaxon.” She pled softly. “Let me touch your skin.”

    It took a moment, but I managed to pull my shirt off. Juniper pressed her cheek against my chest and laid her hand on my stomach. I closed my eyes and put my hand on her lower back, holding her close and tracing the gap of bare skin there. We lay like that for a while. I could feel her calming as her breath steadied and she relaxed into the curve of my side.

    She moved slightly and started kissing my chest while rubbing lower on my stomach. I tensed a little and stopped moving my hand. When her hand met my belt I opened my eyes. At the moment her fingers started working at my buckle, her lips came in contact with my n****e and she began licking and nibbling as she pulled the leather free of the metal clasp and began working to unbutton my pants. I gasped at the feeling.

    “Juniper. This isn’t the time, sweet. As nice as it feels, you have to stop.” I hissed, trying to control the part of me that wanted to explore her body as much as she wanted to explore mine.

    “You don’t want me, Jaxon? Is it because I’m not as strong as you thought? Or because I made you mad? Let me make you feel good. Then you can be happy again.” She whispered against my skin.

    Her hand reached into my pants and I felt her grasp me through my boxer briefs. My breath quickened as she started stroking me. Her grip was firm, but gentle and her mouth teased at my n****e again.

    “I… Juniper… I can’t think when you’re doing that. Stop. You make me feel good without that.” I reached down and stopped her hand. “I’m not Hank. I feel good just by being around you. Just by holding you and knowing you’re safely in my arms. Don’t make this something you’ll regret. Don’t make it something that’ll make you hate me, sweet.” I groaned.

    “I could never hate you, Jaxon. Even when you leave me, I’ll still love you.” She said with a firm lick.

    I pulled her off of me and out of my pants. Shifting myself, I turned to hold her tightly against me. Why did she think I’d leave her? I realized I knew the answer. She didn’t see how much I loved her or how perfect I thought she was.

    The way Hank had trained her, was selfish. I could see it in her. He taught her to give him everything, to be weak, to be defeated. Before I could really help undo his training, I needed to understand more. I hoped to get that information sooner rather than later. It wouldn’t be prudent to try and push too much right now. I decided I would ease her into life with me and what this relationship was supposed to be.

    “Juniper. Sweet girl. I’m not leaving you. I’m not letting you act like this either. I know it was your old normal. I love you. I’m not mad. I’m not disappointed. You did what you had to today. You are so strong and so brave. I’m proud of how you managed everything. Trace told me you were fierce and imperious. Like a queen. Just hearing the way he described it, I wouldn’t have even guessed you were scared.” I whispered in her ear.

    She shivered. “I thought he was going to try and hurt me. I could barely walk because of how much my legs were shaking, Jaxon. It was like he couldn’t understand why I didn’t want him and it was making him so angry. If he ever gets me again… The sooner I can leave this town, the better. I shouldn’t stay for the summer. I should just head to Austin.”

    “No, sweet. You can be protected here better than there. We’re going to make sure he can’t hurt you again. Let’s get you something to eat. We have a meeting tonight where they’re going to go over what we got from Hank’s office, set about a plan to keep you safe, and keep an eye on your little brother. No one else knows what he was doing, we’re telling them he might blame you for the information coming out. I promise, we’re keeping your secret.” I kissed the top of her head.

    “You go first. I have to put my jeans back on. Are you sure you don’t want to fool around? I’m feeling more myself, I could be feeling more yourself, too.” She giggled.

    I chuckled. “No, sweet. You get dressed and come out for supper. When it’s time, we’ll spend a whole weekend learning how we can feel each other.”

    “Mmm. That sounds lovely. Go on, honey. I’m starved.” She pushed me away and I let her. It was good to see her acting normally.

    I pulled on my shirt, then buttoned and zipped my pants. Juniper lay on her side and watched me.

    “You’re gonna make me nervous if you keep staring.” I chided.

    “I think you’re probably the only man who could be sexy while putting clothes on, Jaxon. Don’t forget your belt, honey. Leaving it open like that’s gonna get you in trouble.” She purred.

      The glimmer of humor in her eyes made me smile. She was a switch. Able to be dominant or submissive. Hank had pushed her into a fully submissive role. This made her much more interesting. I wanted to teach her how to use it. Help her realize her strength. Juniper would be amazing. 

    I buckled my belt and headed out of the room, closing the door behind me.