A Hidden Truth

Making Her Listen

[Jaxon]

    I decided to try talking to her. Juniper was smart and reasonable. She’d listened to me instead of being mad about the Shelby thing. I had to try and get her to tell me what bothered her so much. I needed her to understand. I couldn’t lose her.

    “Juniper, it’s Jaxon. Come let me in, sweet. Let’s talk about this.” I called out.

    “Leave me alone, Jaxon Boone! I don’t wanna see you anymore!” She shouted.

    “Come on, sweet. I don’t even know what’s got you upset. Please, open the door.”

    “No! Go away!” Juniper screamed.

    Looking to Teddy and Gary, I hoped for some sort of answer. Teddy had his head buried in Gary’s chest, and Gary was rubbing circles on his back trying to calm him. I pulled out my phone and called Kelly.

    “Hello?”

    “You looked at all the locks in Juniper’s new house, right?” I asked.

    “Yeah.”

    “How do I open the one on her bedroom door?”

    “What happened?”

    “My friend Kenny f****d something up. I need to get to Juniper, but she isn’t opening the door for anyone.” I told her.

    “It’s a simple handle lock. All you need is a plastic card like a credit card, or an ID card. Slide the card in between the doorjamb and the handle, then pull the handle while you push the card in. That should pop the latch and you can push the door open from there.” She explained.

    “Thanks. This might end up ruining your plans for tonight.”

    “Our plan is to be there for Juni. Even if it means we stay in. The club was just to help her feel better. Fix this. She doesn’t need more troubles.” Kelly said as she hung up.

    I put the phone in my pocket and pulled out my wallet. There was a shopper’s card for a store in Boise that fit the bill. I followed Kelly’s instructions and the door opened easily. I slid the card into my pocket and entered, closing the door behind me.

    Juniper was curled up in her bed hanging onto a pillow and crying into it. I sat on the bed next to her and put my hand on her shoulder. She pulled away like I’d hit her.

    “Leave me alone, Jaxon. I’m done with whatever game you’re playin’.” She sobbed.

    “I’m not playing any games, sweet. We need to talk about what upset you. Kenny told me she messed up. I know she pushes things. Tell me what’s got you like this and we can work on fixing it.” I murmured.

    “No. I’m done with this. I shoulda known better. I shoulda remembered what men are like, but I didn’t want you to be like that. You just want me to fall in love with you so you can have s*x with me. So it can be different than when you did it with her. You don’t really love me! You’re just lookin’ for an easy target! Someone who needs to be loved so bad, they won’t see through you!” Juniper cried.

    Kenny’s questioning had destroyed the trust I’d built up. How did she take those questions to mean I didn’t love her? She must have been triggered by one. It had to have opened her up to doubt. Could it really have been about what kind of girls I liked? It was worth a shot.

    “She told you that you weren’t my type. You decided it meant I didn’t love you. I get it.” I said softly. “For most of the time Kenny's known me, I’ve been attracted to girls who look like Amber. Short, big-eyed, blondes. Really girly ones who wore pink a lot and spent a lot of time on hair and makeup. That's what she meant. Not that I wasn’t attracted to your personality or intelligence. Not that I wasn’t attracted to your strength and honesty. You're beautiful, Juniper.

The fact that I never wanted a girl who looked like you before, was my own flaw. Now, I’ve found you, I can’t believe I wouldn’t have looked twice at you before. I was so stupid for focusing on something as basic as physical attributes when you are everything I really wanted. The reason I held off on getting physical was because I want you to get to know me better. I want to get to know you better. Please understand, Juniper. I’ve never felt like this before.”

    She was quiet when I finished. I’d spend forever trying to make her understand if I had to. But if she wanted me to leave badly enough, then I would. She deserved to have what she wanted, even if it wasn’t me. I really hoped she wouldn’t want me to leave.

    “If you didn’t think I was attractive, then why did you say you wanted to date me? We had two meals together and suddenly, you think I’m beautiful. Suddenly, you want me. I think you saw I was beaten down and damaged. You saw someone who seemed normal enough in public, but was easily used.” She sniffled.

    “If I just wanted to use you, Juniper, I could have. You were throwing yourself at me Monday. You already accepted me as your boyfriend. You were already falling in love with me. I could’ve taken you right here in this bed on Monday night and you wouldn’t have thought it wrong! If I’d been screwing you this whole week, then you’d have room to say I was just using you! I love your dumb ass! Stop being stupid about this!” I yelled.

    I hadn’t meant to get upset, but, as I went on, it was harder and harder to keep calm. She was so frustrating. Nothing she said made sense. Her mind had twisted it around so it would work. I wasn’t able to let such flawed thinking be the reason I lost the first girl I’d ever really loved as more than a friend. I hoped I hadn’t scared her with my yelling.

    Suddenly, I felt a hard shove and landed on the floor.

    “You do not speak to me like that, Jaxon Boone!” She screeched.

    I turned to face her. She tried to slap me, but I grabbed her wrist. Juniper landed a slap using the other hand before I had time to react. When I didn’t let go of the wrist I held, she tried to slap me again and I grabbed that wrist as well.

    With one swift motion, I pulled her off the bed and pinned her to the floor, straddling her and holding her legs tightly in-between my own. We were face to face as she struggled to get free.

    “I hate you! Get offa me!” She screamed.

    Teddy and Gary started pounding on the door. They were shouting to be let in. Juniper tried to buck and kick out from under me, but I wasn’t going to let her free.

    “Leave us alone!” I called out.

    “Help! Gary! Teddy! He’s hurtin’ me!” Juniper cried.

    “I’m trying to get her to stop hitting me. Go away!” I barked.

    I held her until her thrashing lessened. She called me every name she could think of and kept trying to get Gary and Teddy to help her. They’d stopped pounding. I hoped they’d gone away like I’d said.

    “You listen to me, Juniper Fordyce. I told you I love you and I don’t f*****g lie about that. I get that you’re messed up, but I want to help you not hurt you. I’m not your stepfather. Don’t make me out to be like him.” I growled in a low voice.

    Juniper struggled weakly in my hold. She was tiring out. Her eyes glittered with a mix of tears and anger. Her cheeks and lips were red from crying and fighting. She was beautiful. I wanted to kiss her, but I was pretty sure she’d bite me.

    “Please. Let me go, Jaxon.” She whimpered.

    “You’re mine, Juniper. Stop trying to push me away or make me leave. Give me until next Sunday to show you that you can trust me. To start showing you, again, how much I love you. If you feel it could possibly be true, then give me another week to show you more. We can play it by ear. Week by week, forever, if that’s what you need.” I asked.

    Juniper bit her lips together in a tight line. I could tell she wanted to say no, but she was holding it back. It wasn’t a totally unreasonable request.

    “I’m not having s*x with you.” Juniper said.

    Her accent was gone again. She seemed to be getting control of her emotions. I didn’t relax my hold. Until her tantrum was entirely over, I wouldn’t let her go.

    “Of course not. But I’m coming back to this house. I’m going to sleep next to you every night starting tomorrow. You’ve been having nightmares. That’s why you’re exhausted. I’m not going to let you fail your exams because you’re stubborn.” I told her.

    She closed her eyes tight and scrunched up her nose. When she opened them again she had a look of determination in her eyes.

    “How do I know this isn’t some trick, though? I’ve been tricked before. I trusted him and he lied. I knew him for seven years before that. I’ve only known you a week.” She murmured.

    “I started falling in love with you the moment you laughed at me for refusing your number. Every time I see you, you do something that makes me fall even harder. You are my heart. It was like I was living with a false heart until I met you, then I started living for real. Don’t take my heart away. Please, sweet girl.” I kissed her cheek and looked into her eyes.

    “I don’t know what to do. I want to trust you, but I realize how stupid I was being by jumping at you. Why couldn’t I have been normal? Why couldn’t this have been normal?” Juniper’s voice quivered.

    “Make rules for me to follow. Let me show you I’m serious. He broke the rules a lot, right? Let’s make some for me to follow and give me a week. I’ll quit if I break more than you do. I’ll stay to help put Hank in jail, then I’ll leave you alone. You can tell everyone I’m just like my father. After I leave for school, I’ll never come back.” I promised.

    She seemed to be thinking it over. I knew her sense of fairness would back me. There was a way to show I could be trusted and it was only fair she give me the chance.

    “Can you let me up? I’d like to write them down.” She whispered.

    “Promise you won’t run away or hit me?” I asked.

    Juniper nodded, solemnly. I released her wrists and climbed off of her. Giving her my hand, I helped pull her up, then sat on the bed while she moved to the desk and opened up her computer.

    Quickly, she typed up the outline of our agreement. She turned to look at me.

    “What are your rules or requirements?” She asked.

    “First, I sleep beside you every night. Second, I get two kisses a day, minimum. Third, you won’t try and push me away. Fourth, you talk to me if you have concerns or doubts. And, fifth, you don’t fight your feelings for me or try and negate mine.” I listed everything I could think of that might cause problems and she typed as I talked. “What are yours?”

    “First, I will decide when and if s*x, making out, or other romantic physical contact happens outside of what you outlined. Second, you may hug me, but not grind or rub on me. Third, you will not try to scare me into staying with you. Fourth, you don’t tell anyone about this agreement. And, fifth, if I find out you’re lying to me, then I can terminate this agreement at any time.” She said.

    “You have to have proof. Not rumors. Not a feeling. Actual proof.” I stipulated.

    “Fine. Then, if you haven’t found a way to make me believe you love me, you will leave me alone.”

    “And if I do, then you’ll live with me in Austin.” I told her.

    She gasped. I could see her cheeks turning red again. It made me smile. I knew I could make her believe in me and my feelings. When her mind started calming down, she’d realize I was serious and she’d overreacted.

    “I… I guess that would be okay.” She murmured.

    “Send me a copy of the agreement. I want to track the rules, too. Make it a Google Doc. We can track it together. Then we can see who made what changes and when.” I told her.

    Juniper typed and I gave her my sss address so she could share it with me. My phone chimed with the invite and I accepted it. I smiled at how nerdy it was that we were doing this, but it was needed so I could keep her.

    I stood up and put my hand out to her. She looked at my hand for a moment and accepted it. Pulling her into a hug, I stroked her hair and back. This time, I wouldn’t mess up and I wouldn’t let anyone else mess us up.

    “I’m gonna hug you for just a little longer, then I’ll go get you a cool cloth for your face and some water. It hurt me when you said you hated me. I just need to hold onto you a little more, sweet girl.” I said softly.

    “Why do you keep trying? I’m messed up. Things like this will keep happening. You should be with someone who isn’t going to hurt you.” She said with a quivering voice.

    “It’s because I love you. I told you, I’ve never felt like this before. I’ll keep reminding you that I love you and want you, forever. You stay here, I’ll be right back.” I squeezed her tight and let her go.

    I opened the door and went to the kitchen to get her water and grabbed a washcloth from the drawer there to dampen. When I returned, she was sitting at her desk again. I set them there and knelt next to her chair.

    “Do you want me to stay through the next tutoring session? I can help a little. There has to be someone who’s doing English or something communications related. I can stay until we leave for the club, did you still want to go dance with your friends?” I asked.

    She nodded. “I still want to go. I want Kenny out of here. She made Teddy mad. Can you take her back to her motel? You all can still come to the club; I just don’t want to deal with her for a bit.”

    “Sure thing, sweet. We’ll meet you there around nine-thirty or ten. You do your best. I want you to come back home if you start to get tired, though. Can you do that for me?” I took her hand and kissed it.

    Juniper giggled in a breathless sort of way. “I’ll try not to push myself if I get tired. Go get her out of here.”

    “You know; you don’t have to worry about Kenny trying for me.” I said as I stood up. “She’s got a crush on Clay. Even said ‘when we get married’ to him.”

    She snickered. “I bet that scared him. He used to ghost Becca for a week after she’d say stuff about their future together.”

    “How do you know that?”

    “It was always a hot topic in school. The golden couple was on the rocks again.” Juniper sighed. She picked up the water and drank deeply. I was betting she was pretty dehydrated.

    “I’ll see you later, sweet. Good luck with your tutoring.” I stood and left the room, closing the door behind me.