A Hidden Truth

Weakness Permitted

    It took less time to unload than to load the trucks. Soon, all of the boxes and cases were in. Amber, Kelly, and Tammy headed out so they could finish their weekend homework before supper. I was glad I’d completed mine. Teddy and I were discussing what our plans were for the rest of the day, how much we should unpack before bed, and what we would do about supper, when there was a knock at the door. Red answered.

    “Hey, there. I brought some kitchen stuff Bobbi says is just clutterin’ up the house.” Beau announced. “Thought y’all could use it.”

    “Thanks, Beau. Come on in. The kitchen’s in the back.” Teddy called out.

    “Are Bobbi and them at the house?” Red asked.

    “They’re with Tamsin and Blaine workin’ on preppin’ the barbeque. Did you let the kids know they’re havin’ supper at the big house tonight?” Beau asked.

    “Not yet, but it looks like you have it covered.” Red laughed.

    There was another knock and Red opened the door. My attention had been on unpacking the box of kitchen things Beau brought in. There were a lot of useful items. Things I definitely didn’t have in my little trunk. The room had gone quiet.

    “Juniper?” I heard a familiar voice breathe my name.

    Swallowing, I looked up. It was Jaxon. Everyone had moved to the sides of the living room and were watching as he and I stared at each other. I didn’t know what to do. I was angry, but also relieved. He was the one person I definitely wanted to see.

    What was I supposed to do here? I knew Teddy and Trace had seen us yesterday. Odds were good that Karen and Gary knew. That meant the only ones who potentially didn’t know were Carson, Camille, Beau, and Red.

    I opted for not being a jerk. He got carried away. So did I. My resolve to be a better person called for a certain level of behavior.

    I smiled at him. “Sorry about your face.”

    After a few moments, Teddy couldn’t hold in his laughter. He leaned heavily on Gary and gasped for breath as he laughed. I could see Trace, Beau, Karen, and Red also snickering from behind their hands. Gary held my brother and tightened his lips into a thin line, but his eyes were sparkling with laughter as well. Guess it was more well known than I’d thought.

    “I don’t care about my face.” He said crossing the room and setting the box on the kitchen table. “Why are you here? What’s going on? Are you alright?”

    This was not a conversation I wanted to have in front of everyone. I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to the porch in the back, closing the door behind us. Letting go of him, I moved toward the screens and looked out over the yard.

    “Juniper. What happened? Please.” Jaxon said, his voice filled with concern.

    “She knew, Jaxon. She blamed me and kicked me out. The deal was made in bad faith. He knew that she knew. He played me.” I laughed with tears in my eyes. “Teddy left with me. Mr. Reed says we can stay here as long as we need.”

    “I… I can’t believe it.” He murmured.

    I felt him drawing close. The urge to throw myself into his arms and let him comfort me was strong. I didn’t know what to do. I realized my anger was caused by my embarrassment, but I couldn’t let it go. His hand came down on my shoulder and he pulled me back against his body.

    He was warm and solid behind me. Jaxon slid his arm across my chest and held my shoulders against him. He slipped the other around my waist. Jaxon rested his chin on top of my head and I closed my eyes. It felt safe and secure.

    I’d put so much work into maintaining an air of calm and control. There was nothing left to hold on to. My whole life, my whole plan, was dependent on freeing myself and my family. What did I have anymore?

    “Hush, sweet. I have you now. You’re safe. Don’t cry anymore, my sweet girl.” He whispered as he held me tightly.

    I held his arms on me. Some part of me wanted to pull away and tell him I didn’t want him. It was the remnants of the training Hank had instilled in me. Refuse care, refuse love, only accept him. Never have anything but his desires. I wasn’t going to let him keep living in my head. I resolved to be free in every way possible.

    “Let’s go to the main house, Juniper, and have some food. You don’t have to smile or lead. You can hold on to me or your brothers. When you want to leave, I’ll bring you back home. I’m not going to expect anything. We’ll go at your pace.” Jaxon murmured.

    I nodded. He’d given me permission to give into my weakness, my emotions. He was giving me permission to not be strong. I wanted that.

    Jaxon turned me to him and wiped the tears from my eyes. He slipped my hand into his and laced our fingers together. We went back into the house and he led me through without speaking to anyone.

    Instead of driving, we walked to the main house. I held onto him like he’d disappear if I let go. A couple trucks passed us and I saw my brothers wave at me from the back of one of them. I tried to let go of Jaxon, but he gripped my hand more firmly. He turned to me.

    “It’s not shameful to depend on others. You aren’t degraded for holding my hand. They’re happy, not disapproving. Stay with me, Juniper.” He said.

    “You never call me Juni. Why?” I asked searching his face.

    “For the same reason you never call me Jax, I suspect. It doesn’t feel like you. In all of the times I’ve seen you, you were strong and beautiful, resilient and brilliant. The name Juniper feels like those things. Juni is a child, a baby sister, a pet. That’s how they all know you. I don’t know that girl.” Jaxon pulled me close again and gazed down into my eyes.

    I wanted to kiss him. He didn’t see helpless little Juni. Sweet, pliable Juni. Innocent, darling Juni. Stupid, gullible Juni.

    He seemed to know what I was thinking and bent down, gently brushing his soft, full lips along mine. It was the most delicate, tender kiss I’d ever had. I closed my eyes and focused on the light, fluttering kisses he was laying on my jaw, cheeks, eyelids, and forehead. Every touch of his mouth made me want to cry and dive into him.

    Jaxon pulled back and caressed my face. “Let’s go, Juniper. We’re nearly there.”

    “Okay, Jaxon. I won’t let go.” I murmured softly.

    “That’s the thing I want most in the world right now, sweet. Don’t let me go, Juniper.” He moved to head down the road again.