A Hidden Truth

A Break-up, A Brat, and a Book Club

[Juniper]

    I stood in front of the entry to my school. In seventh period, I’d gotten a note from my crush asking me to meet him there after school. It seemed like it was some sort of set up. Not the kind people were always trying to get me in. I kept thinking, he was going to do something to hurt or embarrass me. At least, that’s what my brain kept telling me.

    We belonged to very different social circles. If my friends found out about it, they would tease me endlessly. So, I was hoping he was looking for a tutor in Civics or Comp. Sci. The classes we had together. Though, I remembered him being bad at math in the past...

    The school had been deserted fairly quickly once the bell rang. It was only the kids waiting on the late busses left. I looked through my planner to see what I had scheduled. If he needed tutoring, then I wanted to be able to quickly find a slot for him in one of the finals study groups I’d be working with next week.

    “Juni. Thanks for meeting me. Sorry, it took a bit.” Clayton smiled as I looked up.

    His dark brown hair was cropped short to keep it from his eyes. His smile was bright and amazing with a dimple on his left cheek and a sparkle in his brilliant blue eyes. Clayton was about 5’11” and had delicious muscles from his work on his parent’s ranch. He was one of the rodeo guys, we were on opposite ends of the school social spectrum ever since I quit riding three years ago.

    “No problem. How can I help you, Clayton?” I asked.

    He looked nervous. “Well… I… I need you to stop starin’ at me all the time.”

    “I’m sorry? I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I scoffed.

    I really didn’t. No matter how much I wanted to look at him, I didn’t. I made a point of looking anywhere else. Except in fourth period, Civics. He sat right in front of the lectern that Mrs. Davis used.

    “I have no clue, either. Becca said you stare at me all day and it’s makin’ her mad. She’s got a big barrel race coming up and needs to focus, so I told her I’d talk to you.” He said with a slight blush.

    “Right, rodeo queen needs to blame someone because she hasn’t been practicing. Go ahead and tell her I was embarrassed and apologized. Or whatever. Anything else? I have to get going soon, my book club meets at five.” I rolled my eyes.

    I was a pretty big geek. Much to the chagrin of my mother, who wanted me to do pageants like she did. Not a lot of options in town if you weren’t into FFA (Future Farmers of America), football, rodeo, or pageants. 

    I’d quit riding when I was fifteen, so I was extra disliked by the junior women’s rodeo group at school. That was why I’d started my book club, but most of the members were women who were older than me by as much as fifty years in some cases.

    “I’m really sorry. You know how she gets, you used to be friends, right? I think she’s afraid you’re gunnin’ for me.” Clayton chuckled.

    “No such luck, big boy. Too bad for you. Have a good day.” I waved as I walked off laughing.

    When I got to the parking lot, I crossed to my little Geo Metro and put the key in the lock. I’d bought it myself with some of the money from my grandfather. He left quite a lot to each of us. I was just frugal and chose a small car with decent gas mileage. I added the rest to the college fund my father left behind for me.

    Everything I got from my part time job and from tutoring was split so half went to my college fund and the other half went to put gas in my car or buy other things. A few years ago, Teddy, my oldest brother, had taken some of my money and invested it. I wouldn’t have to get loans at all, or even a job as long as I wasn’t stupid.   

    I felt someone tap my shoulder as I put my bag in the front seat. When I turned I saw bleach blonde Becca smirking. This was not a great start to the weekend.

    “What do you want, Becca? I have things to do and you’ve already wasted enough of my time.” I groaned.

    “You better stay away from Clay, Juniper Fordyce. He’s mine.” She drawled.

    “Not interested, but thanks for thinking of me.” I snickered.

    The thing was, I had a crush but he wasn’t for me and I knew it. Realistically, I knew he’d probably end up with Becca or some pageant queen and I would leave town for college and never return. It was just the way of our small world.

    Guarding my little indulgence in attraction to the homecoming king and most popular boy in school, was important for the safety of my spirit. Of course, I was mentally breaking up with him today, anyway. I had a new crush and he met all of my requirements. Tonight, I’d see if he worked out better than Clay had.

    “Yeah, right. I know you like him. Stay away.” She warned.

    Her little nose wrinkling with anger as her eyes flashed full of hate. Our moms had been friends on the pageant circuit, but we had a falling out a few years ago when I elected to go to a book reading rather than one of her exhibitions. I had more fun at the reading than I would’ve in the dusty fairgrounds. It was the beginning of the end of my life as a popular girl in school and as a regular in the local rodeo events.

    “Consider me away, sugar. I don’t need that drama in my life. Good luck on your barrel race. Don’t choke.” I smirked as I got into my car and drove away. 

 ***

    When I arrived at the library, it was pretty quiet. Most of the children’s programs took place in the morning and afterschool stuff was geared to the academic side, tutoring and homework help. Some kids came to the library to study after school, but never on a Friday. Whereas, I was there every Friday with a group of middle aged women, discussing classic literature.

    We focused on classics, but I would’ve been happy reading and discussing anything. I selected this week’s book because of the theme of suffocating parental love as replacement for marital contentment. There are a lot of women in my town who reminded me of the main character’s mother. I was wondering what they thought.

    I made my way to the meeting room in the back of the library. It was a pretty standard conference room with a long counter, coffee pot, conference table, and about ten chairs of varying comfort. The ladies would spend most of the day baking and trying to finish the book so we had some tasty treats which we’d share with the library staff.

    Missy Clarke was standing by the door waiting for me. Her platinum blonde hair was huge. It must be a special day if she spent that much time on it. I smiled as I took in the sight of her in her denim dress with brown leather belt and boots. The dress was a size too small overall and at least two sizes too small in the rear. Not that anyone was brave enough to point it out to Missy.

    “Afternoon, Mrs. Clarke. You’re looking very... awesome today.” I smiled.

    “Thank you ever so, Juni.” She beamed. “Mr. Clarke is takin’ me out to our favorite place. I figured I’d dress up early. Didn’t wanna miss the meetin’. I actually finished the book this time!”

    “Congrats, Mrs. Clarke. I hope you liked it. Let’s get in before everyone starts to worry.” I guided her to the door.

    Most of the group was there. Charlene Buxton and Millie Carlson sat in the corner spot they’d claimed ages ago and gossiped. There was a rule against it once we started our meeting, so they made sure to get there early. Kimmy Garrison smiled brightly. She used to do the pageants with my mom, she wasn’t very successful and it made her bitter. I knew what was coming.

    “Juni! Look at you, so cute with your hair in a braid and all relaxed in your lil’ dress. Like you just came from layin’ around at home without even thinkin’ about makeup. It must be so nice to be that comfortable in your skin.” She put her hand to the side of her mouth and stage whispered, “Not like your poor mama.”

    Their rivalry was fairly well known. Mostly because of how one-sided it was. I was pretty sure the only reason Kimmy joined was to mess with my mom. She probably thought mama would be here, but if there is one thing Marie-Rose Clements Fordyce-Merritt does not do, it’s read anything which could cause frown lines.

    I was the youngest of three children, and the only girl, from her first marriage. Her second husband, Hank, gave her another son. I was a disappointment for my lack of interest in beauty products and baton twirling. No matter how much she tried, I would never be the daughter she wanted. If only Teddy had been a girl, he was more stylish and artful than me.

    “Miss Kimmy, I told you backhanded compliments will get you banned from the book club. You can quit bein’ ugly or this can be your last meetin’.” I told her sternly. My accent slipped. Damn.

    Everyone in town knew I was stone-cold serious about not caring for the backbiting that went on. No one was safe from my utter disdain for it. This was my domain. I ran this club and they all knew I ruled with an iron fist.

    She blanched and stood there bug-eyed for a while. The gossips in the corner were silent as they took in the scene of Miss Kimmy being scolded by ‘little Juni Fordyce’. It would make all of the craft clubs by Saturday afternoon.

    “Sorry, Juni. I forgot myself.” She purred in her sweet southern kitten voice.

    “I understand, Miss Kimmy. Please see it doesn’t happen again.” I nodded slightly and walked to the head of the table.

    Once I’d arranged my spot with the book, my own analysis, and a few things I found online, I went to get some lemonade and cookies. I was happy Miss Letty made it out. I worked for her a little on Sundays, mostly taking her to and from church then light cleaning, and ran errands for her on Tuesdays. The ladies all contributed something to our snack table. Letty Kent was the resident lemonade expert.

     In our first few meetings, we’d had everyone bring in their own version of the snacks and had voted. They weren’t allowed to vote for their own. Each of the ladies participated in all of the treat competitions. I hoped they would keep the club alive after I left for college in a few months. Aside from church, it was the only thing getting Miss Letty out of the house since her husband died.

    Bringing my plate back to my seat, I looked over the room and did a quick head count. Just missing Bobbi. It was expected that she’d be late, though. She was always a little flighty. I hoped she’d bring Jaxon with her. I wanted to talk to him more. I wanted my memory of him to be solid before I had to go home and deal with Hank. Having him solidly in my mind would help. My new imaginary boyfriend.

    The clock was nearing five and I knew we couldn’t wait much longer. All of the ladies were settling in and pulling out their books and notes. I was really glad they were taking this one seriously. It was worth the annoyance and embarrassment I’d had to go through at school earlier.

    “Sorry! I made it just in time!” Bobbi squealed as she ran in the door like the devil was chasing her.

    “Go ahead and get settled Miss Bobbi.” I smiled.

    “I brought my brother! He’s parkin’ the car.” She grinned as she set an empty chair next to me and made Miss Letty scoot down.

    My heart fluttered. It was like God himself was smiling on me. My Jaxon would be in soon. I tried not to grin, but nodded politely.

    “We’d been talking about the book a little last night. I was hoping he could make it out. Go ahead and grab some snacks. We’ll start once everyone is here.” I told her.

    “I’m so glad. Beau was gonna kill him if I left them alone again.” She laughed.

    “Then he’s more than welcome to join every week until he heads to school. Can’t have your husband killing your only brother now.” I winked.

    A couple minutes later, the door opened again and I glanced up to see Miss Bobbi’s brother. Oh, holy heavens, he was finer than a frog’s hair split four ways. I’d almost forgotten how pretty he was. I nodded to him and turned back to what I was doing. Couldn’t give away my interest. Not if I wanted to spend more time with him.

    “Everyone, I wanna introduce you to my brother. This is Jax Boone. My youngest sibling and only brother. He’s gonna be headin’ to the university in the fall to start his master’s degree. Isn’t he handsome?” Bobbi smiled broadly.

    “Bobbi, I told you I prefer being called Jaxon. Please, stop calling me Jax.” He said in a gentle but serious voice.

    I looked up again, it was so hard to keep my eyes off him. He was 6’ tall with a lithe build. Not soft, but not overly muscled. His skin was a golden brown and he had the most beautiful long lashes around his slate gray eyes. With shoulder length black hair, a square jaw, and velvety looking slightly bowed lips, he was absolutely gorgeous.

    “Thank you for coming to our book club, Jaxon. I look forward to hearing some insight from a male perspective on the material.” I smiled.

    “Thanks for having me, Juniper. I brought along that paper I wrote too, if you wanted to look at it. Mind you, it’s not my best work, but it’s pretty decent.” He smiled back.

    I melted. Inside at least. He went around and introduced himself to the ladies. I knew he’d already met Letty on Tuesday. I couldn’t believe I’d managed to ignore the presence of a man like that.

    “If you all are ready… I’d like to begin. We only have the room until six.” I reminded the fawning women.

    “Ready!” They chimed and we dug into the story of Paul Morel and his mother’s love.

    Jaxon contributed quite a lot to the discussion. We talked about the unhappy marriage of the main character’s parents and things that weakened and strengthened the relationship. I hadn’t noticed until much later, most of the talking in the group, outside of superficial observations, was done by Jaxon and myself. We were in the middle of a discussion about the roles of women in early 20th century Britain and Lawrence’s portrayals of them, when I saw a movement from the corner of my eye.