The change ( his mate)

Chapter 32: Run

Lara

When morning came, Grayson woke looking a little better, he wasn’t so pale anymore although his eyes still burned bright with the fever.

“You up for eating?” I asked.

“Yeah, I’m starving.”

We got up and joined Leo and Amber at the table. Amber spoke to her friend who had said she would send a potion first thing in the morning—it was already evening for her and she had to prepare and make it- that would cure the infection, until then all we could do was keep it clean, not let it get out of control and make sure it didn’t spread too fast, worse case scenario we’d have to cut the infected tissue, but she said she would do a spell to try and slow down the spread of the infection.

Another three days and Ambers witch friend said the blades would be finished and ready to be shipped, so we just needed to hold out another week as it would probably take that long for them to arrive, Leo had made sure to pay for the fastest delivery available, same with the potion.

Grayson started off the morning to a good enough start, lunchtime he was burning up again, so Leo made him take more paracetamol which seemed to help.

By nightfall Leo wanted Grayson to stay and rest, but Grayson found a loophole in his words so he could ignore Leo without his wolf side kicking in and demanding he listen to the alpha.

He was out the door before Leo could reword it better. “Sorry, I’ll keep an eye on him,” I said and rushed after him.

“You should listen to Leo,” I said as I caught up to him.

“He said I should stay and rest not that I had to stay, I can’t relax, I’d rather be doing something.”

“We aren’t fighting them again.”

He ignored me, I looked at him long enough until he looked back at me, his eyes burning bright from the fever. “I’ll do what I have to,” he finally snapped.

He’d never snapped at me before.

“I’m looking out for you.”

“I don’t need you to, I can take care of myself.” His words were so low it was nearly a growl.

My heart sped up, my worst fear was having Grayson talk to me like he hated me, to have him push me away.

I tried to touch him, but he pushed me away.

“Grayson,” I whispered.

He wouldn’t look at me and mumbled, “just go away.”

It must have been the fever talking, he’d never been like this before, not to me, never to me.

I blinked back the tears and tried again, “maybe we should head back?”

He wheeled on me, his eyes blazed with rage, “f.uck off back yourself, I’m staying.”

A tear escaped me that time and I quickly wiped it away. “Why are you being like this?”

“You’re annoying me.”

“You’ve been weird for days, whispering with amber and now talking to me like this.”

His eyes glinted with a predatory look and I took a step back.

“Amber? Ah, you think we’ve been f.ucking? Because you’d be right.”

“What!”

“Yeah, I got a taste of what’s between her legs the other night, so wet for me she was, tasted sweet like cherries.”

“Grayson, stop it, it’s just the fever talking.”

“Is it?”

I turned and ran to the distant sound of him laughing. I knew it wasn’t him, it was just the fever, but I couldn’t get the images of what he’d said out of my mind, it must be true, why else would he have said it? I hadn’t said I thought there was something romantic going on, he’d come up with that on his own, so it must have been the truth.

I ran back to the house and got Leo. He grabbed a syringe from his medical bag, it was one he kept for severe situations like this, or like when I had my first change.

We rushed back to Grayson who’d already collapsed to the floor. Leo and Brett, another pack member who he’d grabbed from next door bent down beside him.

Grayson woke up, eyes blazing and lashed out, knocking the syringe from Leo’s hand and kicking Brett in the face. With a bleeding nose Brett struggled to help Leo pin Grayson down as he fought and thrashed against them violently, it took Amber and me helping to finally keep him down enough that Leo could inject him with the sedative and he slowly became weak and limp and then passed out.

Brett and Leo got him back to the house and Leo decided it would be best for him to spend the night in the cage, both for his safety and ours if he was becoming violent.

It was a bad few days, when Grayson woke up he was furious about being locked in the cage, he kicked at it, tried to pull the bars apart, and at one point, even managed to bend them just a little.

He kicked the tray of food away when Leo tried to make him eat and threw the cup of water against the bars too. At one point he lost so much control he changed to his wolf and didn’t change back for three days, pacing back and forth in the cage and snarling and snapping at anyone who came near.

I tried sliding a bowl of water through for him, but he knocked it with his paw sending it spilling over the floor. “Grayson, please, you need to drink something at least.”

He growled menacingly and carried on pacing.

The potion finally arrived for him the following day, the problem would be getting him to drink it.

He was too dangerous to get close to right now, so we had to use a long vaccination stick to attach the syringe to and jab Grayson while he wasn’t looking.

When he passed out Leo rushed inside and very carefully trickled the potion down his throat, a tiny bit at a time so he didn’t choke. When it was done Leo gave me some alone time with Grayson.

I laid next to him and buried my face in his fur, holding him tight. “I love you so much,” I whispered as the tears fell.

My tears soaked his fur as I whispered how much I loved him, how much he meant to me and how much I would miss him. Slowly sitting up, I wiped my face, stroked his fur one last time and got up.

I went to my room and packed a few of my belongings, I knew as I was packing I was being a coward again, running away before he could throw me away.

It probably wasn’t true what he’d said in the middle of his fever, but still it lingered in my mind and the scared little girl inside of me kept repeating, ‘see, told you he couldn’t love us, no one can.’

It was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do waiting for Grayson to start waking up, all I wanted to do was run in there and hug him, have him hold me, see the love in his eyes again, instead I waited for him to wake knowing Leo and Amber would be distracted by that and I could safely slip out undetected.

I didn’t have my own car yet, so I had to walk the long walk into the town, when I got there I found the nearest housing agency. I still had money in my savings account that I’d saved up for my next months rent at my old place, but then I’d been bitten and everything had changed, it was still there, so I found the cheapest place I could and they found me an available one, problem was it was across the road from the town, still too close to the pack for my liking, but it was that or the streets, so I took it.

It really was just across the road, five minutes later I was inside. It was ready furnished with the basics, a beige carpet, a brown leather sofa with a coffee table in the middle of the small living room and a wall mounted tv.

The kitchen had black and white flooring and dark wood cupboards and counter top. In the corner was the dining table and chairs.

I went up the narrow stairs case and found my bedroom, a double bed with simple white sheets and pillows, a bedside table with a plain lamp and some drawers for my clothes.

The bathroom had a toilet sink and bath, but no shower, that was fine. I ran myself a bath and created some bubbles adding my body wash gel to the running water.

When it was done I climbed in and slid down into the warm bubbly water. It felt good, but not good enough to make me forget what I’d just walked away from, my chance for a family, a real family, one that would love me and want me and me them.

All I’d ever dreamed of growing up was having that one perfect partner for the rest of my life and our children, and I’d just walked away from all that, condemning myself to the hard life of a single mother. I’d be ok, my mother had done it with me before she’d met my step father and she’d been good at it, I didn’t remember much from that age, but I remembered being happy.

Grayson deserved to know about our child and I would tell him, when the time was right.

I was laying there with my eyes closed when my phone pinged with a message. My heart almost leapt up my throat, was it Grayson? Conflicting thoughts raced through my mind desperate for it to be him and desperate for it not to be.

Grayson wasn’t one for gadgets, he’d never had a phone until Leo had given him one when he’d joined the college course where we met, he’d only kept it to keep in touch with me and because he had all our messages saved on there starting right back to when we first started messaging.

Taking a deep breath I picked the phone up from the side and saw Graysons name. My heart raced and I opened it up with shaky hands.

:Lara, where are you? X

I ignored it and barely put it back down when another message came through.

:please darling, I need to see you, I love you x

I almost dropped the phone in the bath when it started ringing. I was too scared to answer, so I didn’t.

The phone pinged and I saw a voicemail. My heart was thudding hard as I clicked on it. It had only been hours since id seen him and already just hearing his voice gave me this deep longing, I loved the sound of his deep voice, that hint of an Irish accent mixed with American.

“Hey darling, I know I probably freaked you out and I’m so sorry, I can’t remember what I said or did, but whatever it was I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I love you so much, you were the first thing I wanted to see when I woke up, please come home or please answer.”

I broke down in tears, I wished so much that I could be normal, that I didn’t have these deep rooted fears of Abandonment and not being able to be loved. I wanted to go to him so much that I almost did, grew excited at the thought, until his words came back to haunt me, had he really slept with Amber?

In the end I did what I did best and didn’t go to him. I went to bed and tormented myself with dreams of us reuniting instead.

It was Monday and although it wasn’t great timing, I went to the interview for the book shop and they were desperate enough for help that they hired me there and then and got me to work.

It was a nice shop, not too big and not too busy, so I got to work filling the shelves with new book titles, it helped keep my mind of Grayson too.

They didn’t make me do too much for my first day, just fill the book shelves. I worked for a few days, filling book shelves and slowly doing more, helping customers find what they were looking for, occasionally working on the till.

I was lucky I had such a nice boss because I was a klutz. Something as simple as filling shelves with books, and nine times out of ten I’d have them falling back off and landing on my head or almost hitting a fellow co worker unconscious if they were standing too close.

I fell off the ladder twice, led a lady who wanted the religious section to the occult section instead and just now I’d knocked over one of the rotating shelves trying to help a customer.

The poor guy tried helping me get it up not realising this five foot nothing lady could lift a small car if she wanted. I let him help me and then insisted I’d be fine cleaning the mess.

When he was gone I was on my hands and knees picking up the items and grumbling why Grayson thought it ever a good idea me becoming a werewolf, I was clumsy, cowardly and sure as heck no bada.ss.

I tried to act tough in front of the pack and Grayson, but honestly I wasn’t, never had been, I’d be an omega in the pack like Kai if I hadn’t fought so damn hard to try and look tough, even then I was still really only a submissive more than I was a dominant wolf, Leo accepted me as a beta wolf, but I suspected that was really only because of my mating to Grayson.

I grabbed the last item off the floor and smacked my head against the shelf as I stood up. Rubbing my head I think my co workers were relieved when it was time for me to go home. They eagerly waved goodbye to me.

I was starving, so I went into the sandwich shop two doors down and grabbed a load of sandwiches, snacks, a cake and a drink. I hadn’t been eating as much as I should for a werewolf and I’d lost some weight, my appetite had gone down since the morning sickness, but just recently it had settled and I’d started feeling hungry again.

When I got in I saw Amber had messaged me, I opened it up and it read, :hey, come back, we all miss you and Grayson has been in a vile temper without you here, he’s struggling with it. How are you? Did you do the test? A

I was missing them all too, I missed Grayson, I missed his touches and he had the best hugs, he could give the most perfect hug that left you feeling absolutely loved. I at least should hear him out now he was better, so I replied to Amber.

:hey Amber, I’m sorry Graysons being so grumpy for you guys, tell him he can call me later around seven and I’ll answer. Ps, yes, I took the test and it was positive. Don’t tell him yet please.

Three dots appeared showing she was typing back already.

:Ahh, I can’t believe it! Are you happy? Of course I won’t say anything that’s for you guys to enjoy alone when he finds out. I’ll let him know he can call later! X

I couldn’t deny I was actually really excited to hear from Grayson, that spark at the start of a relationship that usually fizzled out had never gone away with Grayson and even ten years from now I knew I’d still be in that honeymoon period with him. I still had my fears and I prayed like hell that it wasn’t true about him and Amber.

When it turned six time felt like it dragged on forever, nerves gnawed away at me, would he be mad? I was so nervous I couldn’t even eat my microwave meal.

Finally, finally it turned seven and the phone rang. My hand shook, my heart was pounding and I made myself wait three rings not wanting to look too desperate and then I answered.