Memoirs of a Dragon

Homesick

There was an overall murmur of agreement with this suggestion from all except for the Basilisks, who said that they wanted to get this whole ordeal over and done with and would gladly give their vote now, so that they could get along with their very important lives. So with much grumbling from the Basilisks the Council was adjourned to the next day. 

Once outside, as Topaziah watched the different groups settle down for the night, she felt alone and homesick. She looked up at the stars and longed for a familiar face; a tear slid unnoticed from the corner of her eye. She lay down away from all the other groups and thought of home. From a tunnel to her left, dwarf voices rose in song about the long road home and Topaziah wondered if she would ever call Kangchenjunga home again. She wondered if she was ready to forgive the Snow Ikean for the lies they had told her; wondered if they would be welcomed back into the Council, or for that matter, if she would be allowed on the Council. As Topaziah lay awake in silent contemplation, listening to the dwarves’ songs, she didn’t notice Onyx approach.

“Topaziah,” Onyx said, breaking Topaziah’s silent reverie. “Would you like to join us for the evening?” he asked, and Topaziah saw the Emerald Dragons circling in the forest, not too far from her and the other dragon colonies. Topaziah walked with Onyx over to join the other Dragons. As she lay down with Onyx and completed the circle she felt again that this was where she belonged. She smiled as she realized that it was not the land that made her feel at home but being in the presence of other Dragons; she belonged with them, she could feel it.

Shortly after Topaziah lay down, the red Dragon that had asked for justice for the Snow Cap Dragons came over and bowed to her. “Topaziah, I am Garnon, I knew your mother; she was an amazing soul. It is a shame that you never got to know her. I pray that the Snow Ikean get what they deserve.”

“Garnon, yes I wish that I could have known my relatives, especially my mother, but the Snow Ikean were deeply sorry for their actions. For many years they were the only family I knew, I hold no hate in my heart for them, disappointment and sadness yes, but no hatred.”

“Well, if you choose not to return to the Snow Ikean and wish to stay among Dragons, the Fire Dragons would gladly welcome you among us.”

Topaziah smiled at the red Dragon and said, “Thank You, Garnon, but I have not decided what I will do yet.”

“Well, you will be welcome among us anytime you wish,” Garnon bowed again to Topaziah and joined the other Fire Dragons and settled down for the night.

As Garnon bowed and turned away, Topaziah noticed something she previously had not. Some of the dragons had facial wind guards that curved forward up and under their chin like Garnon, Apatina the emerald matriarch, and herself; yet others like Onyx and Sardon’s curved backward and away from their face. Topaziah glanced around at each of her companions trying to see if she noticed anything else that might be different about them. She noted how their faces grew elongated with age, and that males had slightly thicker horns than females, but she could find nothing to account for the difference in the wind guards. She must have had a perplexed look on her face, for the ever watchful Apatina asked, “Is there something vexing you, dear?”

“It is just that I have noticed something and I don’t quite understand it. Maybe there is no known reason for it,” answered Topaziah wondering how to phrase her question without seeming rude or ignorant.

After a lengthy pause Apatina urged, “Go on dear, what have you noticed?”

After Topaziah voiced her observation, Apatina nodded and reflected on how best to answer. “The forward curved wind guards,” Apatina explained, “have always been seen as a sign of one who will become a celebrated sovereign, who will be fair and just towards all who come before him or her. It is not necessarily the offspring of a ruler that will bear the forward facing wind guards; my parents for example, are not in positions of any importance in the colony, but I, their sixth hatchling, bore the sign of a leader and became apprentice to King Emron, and when he became too large to fly and became one of the elders, I became matriarch.

“It can be many generations in-between the emergence of a new ruler, and in the past if an adequate ruler is not born in a colony the ruler’s oldest child became the next ruler, but more often than not, the child would not be up to handling the pressures of ruling. At that point the elders would interview all the members of a colony and appoint an intermediate monarch to govern until one is born.

Having a sudden revelation Apatina asked, “Sardon, have the Onyx Dragons found a new ruler yet?”

“No. Chalcedony has reassumed the role, but the younger dragons are getting restless because she is over 12,500 years old, and though she is able to rule, she can no longer fly.”

Turning back to Topaziah, Apatina explained, “The Onyx Dragons are in a bit of a dilemma living 12,500 years without a single qualifying hatchling in the colony. They have had three appointed matriarchs, but all of them have been mediocre in one way or another. I strongly suspect that they will ask you to join them as apprentice, to Chalcedony.” reflected Apatina

“Who?” asked Topaziah thinking she must be talking to Sardon.

“You, dear,” said Apatina smiling.

“What? Why would they want me? They don‘t even know me.”

“You have been blessed with the forward facing wind guards, with no colony to rule over, and they are a colony in dire need.”

“But I know next to nothing of the ways and rules of other Dragons, how would I govern over others fairly? No, it would be much more reasonable to find someone who…” Topaziah’s words died away as she thought that ruling a colony would not be so bad. On the other hand, she felt that she would much rather find somewhere to settle down in peace and create a family to fill the void she felt in her heart. Yet again, she thought, as Matriarch, the whole colony would become like a large family. Come on Topaziah, she thought again, what do you know about ruling others, yes it would be much wiser to settle down in some quite valley and find a male to have an egg or two with.

As if she could read Topaziah’s mind Apatina said, “The very fact that you are fighting the idea of becoming a ruler is the very reason why you would make a good one. Don’t worry, Topaziah, you will quickly learn our ways and laws, it is in your blood! You are a dragon after all, and from the time your egg entered this world our ancestry and laws were imbedded in you. Think back, can you remember visions when you were asleep, of other dragons’ deeds, even before you met us this morning?”

In fact, Topaziah could remember things that she had dreamed long ago. As a hatchling, the dreams seemed to come from somewhere other than herself, someplace beyond time. She remembered how strong and happy those dreams had made her feel and she smiled. Then the smile faded as she remembered another dream she had as a hatchling, a vision that had caused tears to pour from her eyes; a vision that she had been told was a nightmare and nothing more. She could see it then as clearly as she had seen it years previous, when Coramandela had wiped the tears from her eyes, and she was small enough to curl up in Coramandela’s lap and rest her head on the Ikean queen’s shoulder and feel the warm arms surround her melting her fear away. Now she knew the truth, that it was not a nightmare, the bloody deaths of countless dragons she had witnessed in her dream, the look of fear she had seen on that majestic face, her mother’s face, all of it was real. Topaziah could feel the sting of tears again. She hadn’t thought about the vision since she first dreamt it.

Again, as if she could read Topaziah’s mind, Apatina said with a touch of sadness in her voice, “and the sadness in your past will be imbedded in your offspring, but so will your moments of happiness and great deeds.” Apatina’s words did much to sooth Topaziah’s emotions, as she watched one by one her companions drop off to sleep.

Even if she hadn’t slept before they had left, Topaziah couldn’t have fallen asleep; she had too much on her mind. Though the idea of becoming a ruler no longer seemed preposterous, the thought that she still might not be permitted to be a Council member scared Topaziah. She looked up at the stars and yearned for a familiar face and the crisp air of her home; she felt sick with longing. It had been such a long time since she had seen Coramandela and the others, and it surprised Topaziah to realize how much she missed them. Topaziah especially missed Coramandela’s daughter Aurora. Topaziah and Aurora were born under the same moon and were as close as sisters could be. Unnoticed to Topaziah, a tear silently slid down her cheek and the pain in her heart grew and over powered her. The stars blurred and were obscured as her eyes flooded with tears.

“Oh please, please don’t cry Topaziah. Please let me comfort you. What is the matter?” Onyx rose and lay down at her side and gently touched her cheek. And begged again, “Please tell me what’s bothering you?”

Topaziah was shocked to feel Onyx touch her cheek and she quickly wiped her tears away with the back of her paw. Her heart still pained her and she blinked until her eyes were free from tears as she whispered, “I am sorry Onyx, I thought everyone was asleep.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Tell me, what made you so sad? Are you worried about tomorrow?” asked Onyx, pleading to be trusted enough to be confided in. When he saw Topaziah’s tears Onyx felt her emotion as his own.

“I don’t understand, all through my lonely flight, searching for other Dragons, I never missed the Snow Ikean and the mountain as much as I do now; surrounded by Dragons and other Immortals. I miss my home; I miss Coramandela and the others. I will never forgive myself if by coming here I caused a war between the Immortals. So here in the dark, I turned to the stars, as the only familiar face close by, for comfort and answers, but even they seem distant and strange.”

Onyx tried to imagine how he would feel if he suddenly found himself alone in a strange place, among strangers who would soon decide his fate. A shudder ran up his spine as he was sure, he would be afraid, afraid not only for himself, but for his family. He wanted to let Topaziah cry on his shoulder to comfort her, but instead asked, “What is your mountain like?”

Topaziah’s eyes became alight with joy as she enthusiastically described her home: each item she described sprang to the forefront of her mind as clear and detailed as if they were there before her. “It is the third tallest mountain in the world, but its summit is actually the roof of the Snow Ikean’s palace home. There are four identical gates leading into the city; each gate is ornately intertwined with vines forged out of unbreakable Ikean Steel the same color as the ice that surrounds them. It is an invisible barrier to those who don’t know the way, a marvel to behold for those who have seen its gleam, intricate beyond measure. In all my travels, I have seen nothing to equal its beauty. When the gates are shut, at its pinnacle the interlinking swirls come together to form the face of an ever watchful Dragon, and arched over each gate a pair of slender Ikean hands stand ready to bar the way of those who intend them harm, but open wide to welcome friends.

“The city itself is built to look like the top of the mountain, but inside it is constructed of wood and stone, white as snow with no visible seams. The solid stone and wood appear to be one, melded together and polished as smooth as icicles. At the center of the city is the garden, where tightly twisted trees grow bearing silver leaves and tear shaped silver fruit throughout the year. Through a hole in the roof melted snow pours down into a silver basin as large as a small lake. Sparkling around the water’s edge, jewels are sparsely inlaid along the stone path that surrounds it. The melted snow provides the entire city with all the water it needs to drink, bathe, and cook with, and water their plants.

“Around the Garden’s edge, are the sleeping quarters for all the Ikean with ten tiers rising towards the ceiling. The topmost tiers are the royal bedchambers and these dome out into the room. I also had chambers on the top tier; mine were by far the largest. I would awake and look out over the garden, and take in the aroma of the silver fruit. I would often fly through the hole in the ceiling and circle the mountain, glide down to the valley, and catch an updraft back up the mountain to perch on the topmost peak and look out over the valley. I used to help teach the Ikean younglings to fly; it was so exhilarating to me to be part their lives, watching them take their first unsteady flight and see them build up their confidence and strength until they could race the wind with me; I found it exhilarating.”

“What was your education like among the Ikean? It seems to me that because they are so different from us, it would be difficult for the Ikean to know how to raise a Dragon.”

“I am certain that it was a challenge for them to raise a Dragon, but I survived and when I was a hatchling I always felt that I was one of the Ikean. To tell the truth, it never occurred to me that I was different from the other Ikean younglings, until my 500th year. It was Aurora’s and my 500th year Celestial Celebration. Together we had played and laughed so much that night, that as we waited for the full moon to set we fell asleep. It may have been the fact that the moon was so close, or it could have been that I acquired my magic that night, but I had a dream that was so intensely realistic that I could feel the wind on my scales and smell the blood in the air. I know now that what I saw that night was the death of my family, but as a hatchling seeing creatures like me mercilessly killed by the Ikeans that I loved… I did not understand, and I was so afraid. I thought that the Ikeans, were just biding their time and that I was destined to suffer the same fate as the Dragons of my dream. I woke up terrified, surrounded by all the Ikeans from my dream standing around me bathed in the blood red glow of the rising sun, and I screamed. I scrambled away as fast as I could, afraid for my life, and then Coramandela came to me. I could feel the love that she projected to me and I rushed into her arms burying my face in her shoulder. I do not know how long I stayed like that crying into her long dark hair. It was then that the first lie was told to me. She told me it was just a dream, and told me about the day my egg was found shimmering in a snow drift.” Topaziah looked down at the ground as she once again felt the now familiar conflict tearing at her soul, the one that tore her daily between the love she felt towards her foster family and the fact that they had been the reason she never knew her real mother.

“Would you want to go back and live among the Snow Ikean even though they killed your family and lied to you?” asked Onyx, unable to contain the anxiety he felt at the thought of being separated from Topaziah.

“I am not sure if I want to return to the isolation of living once again with the Snow Ikean, now that I have met not only other Dragons, but other Immortals as well. I will however, visit them often, no matter what I decide. For the entire of my existence the Snow Ikean have been my family, and Coramandela, I came to know and love as my mother, her daughter Aurora and I grew up as sisters, playing and sharing experiences together. I will never forgive myself if they come to harm because of me coming here and sharing my story.”

Onyx felt uneasy, not knowing what the future held in store for Topaziah, and for himself. He wished that he could convince Topaziah to stay with him in the forest, or that he had the nerve to ask if he could go with her. He just wanted to be close to Topaziah, but more importantly, he wanted her to want him to be with her. “What about what my great-grandmother suggested; what do you think about becoming the next ruler over the Onyx Dragons? Do you think you would, if they asked you?”

“I can’t think about that right now; first let me get through tomorrow and the Council’s decision. I only just found other Dragons; I do not feel that I am ready to start ruling over them. Why do you ask? Do you think I should?”

“No, I just… Well I was wondering if… whatever you decide, if you would allow me to come with you?”

“What? I don’t even know where I am going and you want to come? I don’t understand. You have a home and a family, why would you want to leave all of that behind? I won’t let you throw away what I never had.”

“It does not matter to me where I end up, as long as it is with you. From the moment I saw you, this morning, I was drawn to you and I don’t want to be far from you,” the words had spilled from Onyx’s mouth before he realized what he was saying, and the look that Topaziah gave him, a mixture of shock, anger, confusion and fear, made Onyx wish he could unsay what he had said.

The last fleeting bit of happiness that Topaziah had felt at talking about her home was replaced by confusion and doubt. She had just a short time ago, thought that it was her place at Onyx’s side with other dragons, but now she just wanted to fly away and clear her head. “Why?” she asked, tears returning to her eyes. “Why do you make me so confused?” Then she stretched her wings and took to the air. Behind her she could hear Onyx do the same. He was saying something to her, but she couldn’t hear him. She turned her head back to face Onyx and begged, “Please… please Onyx, stay and do not follow me! I need some time to clear my head. Don’t follow me.” Without another word Topaziah shot up through some low-lying clouds and sped away trying to outrun her feelings, her fear of the unknown, her confusion and her loneliness. Topaziah didn’t know where she was going and she didn’t even care, she just flew higher and higher and faster and faster.