UNTAMED HUNGER (The forbidden desire series)

Caution: This is not for the faint hearted! This is a slow burn and hopefully you will understand each hidden meaning, each part of my heart that I lost in this story! Lot's of love! JustLily xxx ######## CHAPTER 1 I want to feel something. Everyone always says they want to feel loved. Well I just want to feel alive. Alive in a way that I can be someone I always wanted to be and many feel like I do, but they are so scared of change. People like comfort and to settle, because they think they don’t need more than this or think they don’t deserve better. Like many bookworms I don’t want more, I need more after what happened to me. You’re lucky if you don’t have a tragic backstory, because it eats you alive. Each f*cking time it swallows you whole when you think about it…. “Alena! Get your ass off of that chair!” Something connects with the side of my head. “Hi!” I grab the sock and throw it back at Dewei. My roommate crosses her arms and gives me a look of pure frustration and irritation. Her Asian features made her death stare so much worse. She lifted her brow and basically said, really? It's not like you’ve been sitting at that desk most of your day. “Do we really need to go?” I groan when I look back at my laptop. Dewei makes a sound of pure disbelief. I shake my head and quickly delete the chapter I just wrote, glaring at each letter as they dissapear, because I knew I wasn’t ready to write about that! “We don’t have a choice and plus you said you needed some inspiration for your book!” Dewei says as she sorts through the pile of clothes on her bed. “How is a club going to help me with a plot?!” “Easy we’re gonna get you a muse with pretty eyes and maybe an accent! Who knows what Harvard boys have to offer?” I roll my eyes and fluff my short hair in the mirror. For a moment I studied it, still shocked that I did actually cut my mane off. My ex hated the idea of me with short hair and when the small town love story of two years quickly turned into a nightmare, it was the first thing that I did. It was a sign that I didn’t care and that I was going to leave everything behind. I scan my features and study my green eyes that will always be a painful reminder, but tonight was about becoming something. Someone. Dewei gave me her devilish smile in the mirror as she grabbed her make up bag. An hour later the juniors of the sorority house came together in one of the seniors rooms. Alena and Dewei shared a look both not remembering what this girls name was that was sitting beside them blubbering on about how her father had just bought a country house in Palm beach. “Ok Juniors! Our bus will be picking us up in five minutes! So the only rule tonight is to stay the hell away from the seniors on the football team. Got that?” Maddie shouts as she puts her phone in her bag. We stay quiet and she raises her eyebrows at us. This senior was terrifying and we all quickly made a sound of agreement. Maddie James was the head girl of the sorority house and everyone heard of her younger brother on the athletics team. Dewei stalked him the moment we heard about him, but I was already going to be stuck at practice with him. I would appreciate his looks for the rest of my three years here! So I didn’t even bother. All the people around me were stinkin rich. The only way I could afford this place is because of my athletics scholarship and I was eternally grateful to be the only one in my entire small town school to be here. A fresh new start. I look at my short emerald green dress and frown at Dewei as we make our way down the stairs. I think my roommate is trying to give me frostbite. New York's snow was something else. She flicks her long black hair over her shoulder as she gives me a look of approval. “Those black leggings and boots make you look taller! Stand up straight!” She flicks me behind the ear and I make a sound of surprise. I’ve only known Dewei for three weeks and I think she’s the most honest friend I’ve ever had. When you come from a small town your options are limited. The two of us stop in front of the sorority house and quickly take a selfie and I laugh at her as she throws her arms in the air and sing, “Welcome to NEWWW YORKKK!” Her red Chanel jumpsuit glittering like a disco ball. “I think we’re over dressed!” I say as I see how casual the other girls are dressed. Some of them actually glare at Dewei and she just throws them a air kiss. “Everyone knows you can’t dress casually for a Harvard party! Maybe we aren’t allowed to mingle with the senior boys, but those juniors won’t know what hit them!” She does a little victory dance as she sits down and I join her, making her laugh even harder as I start to dance with her. The driver tunes a Miley Cyrus song and all the girls start to sing along. “How do we pick apart the seniors from the juniors anyway?” I ask as we come to a halt twenty minutes later. I spot the rest of the senior girls gathered in front of the entrance waiting for our whole house to show up before entering. Every senior girl here was dressed to impress. Dewei was right! “You will know, look at their cockyness! Emphasize on inexperienced c**k!” I roll my eyes as we hop out. Some of the girls squeal as the Harvard bus with the football team stops behind us. There comes a guy out only wearing his briefs with a big H painted on his chest. He looks at Dewei and whistles. “God have mercy!” He hollers and Dewei flips him off, making him grab his heart dramatically. “Guys I think I just found my wife!” he shouts and the boys cheer behind him as they start to get out of the bus. “Let’s go!” Maddie shouts and I quickly note how she was glaring at Dewei. Ok so mister no shirt was definitely a senior. Dewei grabs my hand and we rush towards the entrance of the club. This place was already alive with music, but the experience of going into a club with your dorm house and a football team from Harvard was incredible. Dewei grabs my hand and darts to the bar. The bartender doesn’t even ask for our ID as we drink two shots. I see Dewei throw flirty glances to the guy ogling her from across the bar. He says something to his friend and he looks over his shoulder right at me. I just smile awkwardly and when they come over I try to stay calm. Being in a relationship so long kind of throws you off your game. They buy us some drinks and then we’re on the dance floor. Dewei grabs me and I laugh as we move together. The guys' names are Jared and Hugo and both are IT majors. Suddenly an arm grabs mine and my stomach drops when I see who it is. Nelson Hudgens aka my ex boyfriend's older brother. “Alena what on earth are you doing here? I knew it had to be you! But your hair it’s.. it's so short! You look different!” “Hi Nelson, yeah I’m at NYU now. What are you doing in New York?” “I’m here traveling with some friends. I see you have already met them though!” I go numb at his words as he fists pumps Jared and then Hugo. Well great. My small town is still following me everywhere! “Look I hear you and Brad broke up! What’s up with that? You two are meant to be!” “Really Nelson? He cheated on me!” “You guys are still young! You should be chill! Brad is a total catch. Did you hear he’s playing for the eagles! He's already the first choice quarterback in the region!” I glare at him and start to move away from them. Dewei follows me and glares over her shoulder at them. “Let’s get some new toys shall we?” She says and sees the panic in my eyes. She looks so confused so I just look away. “Grab the first guy you see and ignore him!” Someone recognizes Dewei and starts talking to her. I decided to just keep on moving through the crowd of people to get as far away from Nelson as possible. I look over my shoulder and see Nelson still following me. “Alena, don't be like that, we could facetime him right now and you can stop fussing!” I laughed out loud, shocked that he didn’t understand how messed up this whole situation was! This could not be happening! I look back again and run right into a wall. I curse and look up and realize it’s a guys back. He turns around and before I face him I see Nelson closing in on us. I grab the stranger's shirt. “Dance with me! Please like..like right now!” The most beautiful brown eyes I have ever seen meet mine and I go silent as I get this strange sensation running down my body. His sharp features pull in dismay. He looked like a hot fantasy character ready to swat me away. I don’t have time to gawk at him as Nelson calls my name close by. “Is this some kind of joke?” The stranger says and his dark eyes flicker to Nelson and I watch his sharp jaw tick in irritation as he looks down at my hands gripping his shirt. “Please I just need him to leave me alone,” I say as he looks back at me with a slight glint of interest reflecting in those dark eyes. “What will I get in return?” His voice makes the blood race in my ears, but I don’t think or hesitate as I say, “Anything.”