Hating My Baby's Father

Damien

This is the second book in Carter Brother series, if you haven't read  Saved By The Devil-Maddox and Brenna's story then it's okay, you can still enjoy Dominic and Kiara's story as each book in the series will be Standalone....

This chapter had been published in Saved By The Devil so you all my loyal readers can skip this and enjoy the next chapter... And, for the new readers go for it and Happy Reading!!!

Kiara

Since the last week I was feeling eyes on me, like someone was watching my every move. Wherever I go they seem to follow me and every time goose bumps rise on my skin. The only solace was that it doesn’t seem like a threat, instead it feels like a presence of someone there to protect me.

“Hello, Sky…” I turn to look at the old lady that was exiting the apartment building in which I had been living since last fifteen months.

“Hello, Mrs. Baker.” I replied. “How’s your knee?”

“Fine. Thanks for the good massage you gave me.” She smiled and slowly made her way down the lane.

Mrs. Baker lived just below my apartment and despite her knee bothering her she had come to help me many times during my last months. I’d always be grateful for her, she had become my crutch and not only her, in fact, all the people in the apartment building had helped me in one or another way in these fifteen months since I had come to live here. 

When I had left Willow Creek, I hadn’t had any idea of how I’d do anything, and it wasn’t just me. The first two months were hard as I had wandered from place to place because I knew even though he had pushed me away from him, he wouldn’t let me go. At every turn I was aware of Alex following me. And, I hadn’t been able to settle down at one place because of him.

But then a time came when I knew that Alex had stopped chasing me. It had filled me with a sense of freedom and with little bit of disappointment. That’s when I decided to stop running and came to live in a neglected part of the city that was the reason of my nightmares. Knoxville.

I knew that Alex wouldn’t look for me here. Because, what woman would come to a place where she was attacked and got the monsters that now resides in every memory and dream when I close my eyes. 

But as luck would have it, since the last fifteen months, I had made a home here for myself and Damien, in the very city where I had learned that monsters were real. 

“Hey, Clarke,” I said to the front desk operator as I made my way towards the stairs.

“Hey, Sky, all good?” I replied him by making a thumbs up sign.

I hope that Damien hadn’t made any problems with Joe this time, my thirty years old neighbour. She was really kind and sweet, even though she goes through boyfriends like one would change sleepers. She was looking for her soulmate and apparently she hadn’t found him in all the boyfriends she had discarded till now.

The apartment building wasn’t like the posh part of the town I used to live in, but still it was the best place for me. I felt like I belong here. And, it was mine. Doing morning shift in a nearby restaurant and evening shift in a massage parlor, I had made a home for me. We had everything we needed, one bedroom that I share with the love of my life and an open living room that had a part of it turned into a kitchen. What else could I need? A voice whispered the name I used to love, but I squashed that voice like I would do with a bug under my shoes.

I knocked on my door. “Joe, it’s Sky.”

“Coming…” I heard Joe yelling from the opposite side before the door was jerked open. 

“How’s it going?” I asked as I stepped inside and went straight to the little corner that I had turned into a play house for my little guy.

“Everything was good, I think he even tried to call me a loser.” Joe said from behind me.

“Oh come’on, he wouldn’t do that.” I picked up my very own little bundle of joy. “Would you, baby?” I nuzzled his nose with my own. “My baby boy doesn’t say bad things to other people, he is my gentleman.” I said, and laughed when his tiny hands grabbed for my face.

“Did you miss your Mama, my sweet boy?” I asked as he giggled when I made a face at him.

Damien Carter. My world. My love. My son. 

I would give up anything for him. And, I did. I left the only place, I knew as a home. I left behind the people that were my family. And, I left behind the man that was my everything until…. He wasn’t.

“Hey, are you okay?” Joe asked.

“Yeah, just a little bit tired.” I walked to the couch where I had just thrown my purse and extracted a twenty from it. “Here… I am sorry, I am late.”

Joe pushed my hand back as she said, “I am not going anywhere and neither are you. You can pay me later, I know you are stretching…” 

I smiled. “You have a kind heart, Joe.”

“So…” She said from behind me, as I walked to my bedroom with Damien in my arms. I knew what was coming even before she said it. “Did you think about it?”

“There is nothing to think about, Joe.” I replied as I put Damien on the bed and adjusted the pillows around him. “It’s not going to happen.”

“Why not? You clearly miss him and if he’s anything like this small handsome buddy then I want to see him.”

Oh, he is. If only she knew that Damien was a picture of his father. Same blue eyes, with same arch of his upper lip and the same smile, with a dimple in his chin when he laughs. It was really a kind of torture to see his father in him, and still loving him with all my heart. Because, I couldn’t stop loving my own flesh and blood as I couldn’t stop the sun from coming up in the sky tomorrow. It was instinct, just the way it was to run away when I had seen his father betraying me in the worst way possible.

“I don’t miss him “ I said, and felt my alternate self shaking her head at me for lying. Oh, shut up. What do you know? Remember, you believed in him? That shut my alternate self’s mouth.

“I was just saying. You are obviously struggling and even if you don’t love him now, which I know is a lie, you loved him once. So, he couldn’t be that bad.”

My throat aches from hiding my emotions, from not being able to say the words that were clawing inside me. Yes, I do miss him with every breath I take. Yes, I did love him, but he broke me more than the monsters that visit me in the night could. Yes, after all that I still love him. 

But, I didn’t say all those things. Because, there was a time when I had loved him more than life itself, but he twisted and broke that love into something ugly. Dominic Carter didn’t deserve my love and he didn’t deserve for me to cry for him now. The only thing I allowed myself to feel for him was anger and hatred. And, some amount of gratitude because he gave me Damien.

“I hate him.” I said quietly, not only to Joe but to myself too. “And, I wouldn’t invite him back into my life to break me apart ones again.”

“Whatever were your issues, but, I think… Damien deserves to know his father and his father too deserves to know that he has a son somewhere in the world.” Joe said, calmly. Sometimes I hated her for talking things that made sense and were morally right.

But, there was no place of morals in my heart where Dominic Carter was concerned. “Damien has me. I’ll be his mother and father. He doesn’t need anyone else.”

“Sky… and, seriously, it’s been so long, can’t you tell me your real name?” She sounded frustrated.

“It’s my real name.” I said, pulling out my night shirt.

“Yeah, and I believe Santa Claus is real.” She gestured to the shirt in my hand. “As much as I believe that you don’t love the father of your child.” She huffed.

“Joe, please.” I made a pout that I knew would get to her.

With a resigned sigh, she said, “I’ll let this one go, as you clearly need to rest. But, we’ll talk about it later.” Then, “And, right now, I have to go and get ready for my mysterious man.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” I yelled as she backed off from my bedroom. “And, seriously, do get this mysterious guy’s real name. What if he is a serial killer?

“Later!!” She called out. “And, he mostly definitely is not. He kisses too well for being a serial killer.”

I laughed at her logic. And, went to the living room to close the doors, she was already gone. Sighing that I dodged it again for the day, I locked the three locks on my door. But, I knew she’d most definitely revisit that same topic of Damien’s father when we meet next time. It was like her favourite topic since last week.

Since she had met her new mysterious man. I wonder if meeting him had turned her toward the thoughts related to family or something. 

When I came back, my sweet boy was dozing off. Going to him, I pressed a kiss on his forehead. “I love you, so much, my baby.” I murmured, tears stinging my eyes. He was so beautiful and the ultimate source of my only happiness. Just like his father used to be at one time.

Pulling the blanket over him, I decided to take a quick shower before going to bed. My whole body was aching as I had covered the night shift too, last night, when one of the masseuse had taken a day off.

As I made my way toward the bathroom, I ones again felt that familiar tingling as if someone was watching me. Turning around I surveyed my room, not a thing was out of place, still I went out to look around my apartment and everything was as it should be. The door was locked, the one window in my bedroom was locked, well it was locked since the day I and come to live here- it was stuck and wouldn’t budge the first few times I had tried, so it was out of the option. 

Shaking my head at my stupidity, I made my way into the bathroom. As I took a shower I thought about what could’ve been if Damien’s father was with me through all this… I surely wouldn’t be running for two jobs and wouldn’t have been so worried about my baby… I was sure that my baby boy’s uncles would’ve pampered him and his grandparents would have made his every wish come true. And, that was the guilt I suffered from, that besides his father, I had taken away all those people who could’ve loved him more than it was possible from my son.

I didn’t even realise when I finished my shower, my hands worked on autopilot, soaping up my body and washing my hair. Wrapping a towel around myself, I stepped out of the shower. And, opened the door to the bedroom only to come to a standstill…

Because, I wasn't imagining things… It was real, the feeling of someone watching me.

Green eyes stared back at me. Fierce with emotions. His hands cradled my baby with the tenderness and softness that wasn't to be found in his eyes as he looked back at me. His scar turned white as the nerve in jaw throbbed. “Hello, kitten. You are a hard woman to find.” Alex replied. And then, he held up the shirt I had left on the bed. “I’m sure Dominic would love to get his hands back on his missing shirt.”

We both knew he wasn’t talking about the shirt.

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