CHAPTER 18
1763 Words
CHAPTER 18
Kennedy’s head was throbbing by the time her dad sent her a link with information on retrieving lost photos. The procedure required a certain app, so while she waited for it to download, she got herself ready for bed. It wasn’t even nine yet, but her mind was heavy with exhaustion. Sandy’s fatty pork chop sat in her gut like a chunk of cement. It was the most meat she’d eaten since Christmas Eve at the Lindgrens’. Things had felt so normal back then. Reuben came with her, and they had spent the evening laughing over every single mistake they’d made in the chemistry lab during their first semester of school.
Life had been so simple. Tests and homework and lab write-ups. Kennedy could handle that. What she couldn’t handle was the horrid uncertainty, the fear of Reuben’s fate, the sense that God must have abandoned her or else he wouldn’t have thrown her into the midst of such a convoluted mess.
Was God angry about her feelings toward Reuben? She’d heard Carl say from the pulpit that the Lord was a jealous God. Did that mean he was mad not to be in the center of Kennedy’s attention, so he was going to punish the person she cared about most? Was God really that possessive? Would he really act so petty?
After the app downloaded, she followed the directions to retrieve her lost photos. She wasn’t sure what good it would do. The video she needed wasn’t lost. It hadn’t recorded at all. Still, there was always the small shred of hope. Maybe God was looking out for her after all. Maybe this would be his way to prove it.
As soon as the program finished loading, Kennedy scrolled through the recovered files. Most of them were pictures of lab results she hadn’t needed in her write-ups. There were also two photos she and Reuben had taken at the Nutcracker ballet when they went last Christmas. The images were blurry, which was probably why she’d deleted them, but she stared for several minutes at the smiles on her and Reuben’s faces. Had she ever felt that happy before she met him?
She told the app to save the photos back into her regular gallery. She wasn’t ready to get rid of them yet. They might be the last pictures she’d ever have with him. She wished she could have talked to her dad’s attorney friend. She needed to know what would happen to Reuben. Would he be deported if they found him guilty, or would they keep him in prison here? She wasn’t sure which option was worse. What would his family think? What would his parents say?
As expected, the recovered photos didn’t include anything from her traffic stop. She should have known it was foolish to hope. Should have known God wouldn’t come through for her. What did he care? He was probably too concerned with the world’s missionaries and pastors to fret much over a nineteen-year-old college freshman and her best friend.
She blinked her dry eyes. There had been a time when her faith had come so easily. Mom and Dad loved Jesus, so she did too. Mom and Dad said he died on a cross and came back to life, so who was she to argue? She didn’t doubt any of it even now, but what did it matter whether or not Jesus was alive if he just let injustice run rampant? Was the hope of a distant future spent in the heavenly clouds supposed to compensate for a lifetime of sorrow here on earth?
And what about those people who were even more oppressed, the child laborers and s*x slaves suffering throughout the globe? Did God see them? Did he care? And if he did care, why wouldn’t he do something to free them?
It didn’t make sense, and Kennedy was too tired to try to figure it out. This line of reasoning would just make her more depressed anyway. She may as well go to bed. Maybe things would look brighter in the morning.
She doubted it.
She let out a small groan as she laid her head down on her pillow. She hadn’t realized how tight her muscles were. Willow had been trying to talk her into joining some co-ed yoga group all semester. Said it’d be great for Kennedy’s anxiety, but she was too busy. Besides, why would she want to wear spandex and sweat on a germ-infested mat alongside two dozen other strangers?
She glanced at her phone one more time as if the missing recording might magically appear on the photo retrieval app. No such luck.
Of course.
Her phone buzzed in her hand, startling her. She didn’t recognize the number, but whoever it was could wait. She didn’t want to talk to anybody, not unless it was ...
Her hand shook when she answered the call. “Hello?”
“Kennedy? Is that you?”
In an instant, her pituitary gland flooded her entire brain with endorphins. Relief collided with nervous excitement. Joy coursed through every single vein in her body. “Reuben?”
“It’s me.”
“Where are you? Are you ok? Did you get hurt?” She couldn’t decide which question she wanted answered first.
“I’m ok.” She heard the strain in his voice, recognized his attempt to stay positive. “They said I could make a phone call, and I didn’t ... I wasn’t ... Well, I called you.”
“I’m so glad. I’ve been worrying all night about you. What are they saying? What’s going to happen now?”
“I have some court appearance on Monday. That’s about all I know so far.”
She tried to imagine what her dad would say in a similar situation. What advice would he give? What would he tell Reuben to do? “You don’t have to answer any questions, you know. You should demand to have a lawyer present if they need to talk to you.” Wait, was that right? Or was it different for international students? Did he have the same rights as everyone else, or would it work some other way?
“It’s ok. I’ve already talked with someone from the embassy. It looks like if I plead guilty, I’ll most likely just get deported. They probably won’t give me an actual jail sentence.”
He was talking like a crazy man. “You can’t do that. You were acting in self-defense. We both were. You have to let the guy know that ...”
“I already made up my mind. I’m showing up in court Monday, I’m pleading guilty, and I’m hoping they’ll just send me home instead of making me serve time here.”
He wasn’t thinking clearly. He was scared. Confused. Who wouldn’t be at a time like this? “Listen, my dad’s already hired a guy for you. A really good lawyer he knows. He thinks you have a good chance.” She hoped he wouldn’t hear the doubt in her own voice.
“That’s nice of you to say, but I don’t want you worrying about me.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “You can’t just give up. What about your studies? What about all you’ve worked so hard for?”
Betrayal. That’s what it felt like. Betrayal. Did Reuben seriously believe he’d be better off taking the blame for Bow Legs’ crimes? He had worked too hard his first year at Harvard. He and Kennedy both had worked too hard. What about those countless hours studying together? What about their friendship?
She plugged in her phone, determined to keep it from losing charge. “Listen, I’m going to try to figure out how three-way calling works. I want you to talk to my dad. He knows a lot about these things. He’ll tell you himself ...”
“It’s not that simple.” Reuben’s voice was so quiet, Kennedy could hardly make out the words. She bit her lip and forced herself to listen. When inmates get to make one phone call, what does that mean? One phone call a week? A year? Total? Would this be the last time they’d ever talk to each other?
“Listen, the thing I was going to tell you last night, I ...”
No, it couldn’t happen like this. He was acting as if he’d never see her again. He was scared. She couldn’t let him say something they would both regret later.
“Don’t worry about that right now.” She wished her dad were here. He would know what to do. He would have the right words to say. She had to give Reuben some kind of hope. “Listen, I think there’s a way my dad knows to get a recording of the attack off my phone.” The more she talked, the more she forced herself to believe it was true. Any other alternative was too horrific to fathom. “Once we get that video, everyone’s going to see you’re innocent. The court, the police department, everyone. So don’t do anything right now. Wait until my dad’s friend gets in touch with you. He’ll know what to do.”
“You shouldn’t be so worried about me.” Where was this fatalistic attitude coming from? Did he want Kennedy to be the first to say the thing they’d both skirted around?
She clenched her jaw and resolved to be like her dad. Unemotional. Detached. Reuben didn’t need tears or sentimentality. Not right now. He needed the kind of friend who would knock on every judge’s door and pester every single member of the police force until he was free.
“Listen, we’ve been through a lot together.” Now she was the one who sounded like she was saying goodbye. Was she? And if so, would she live the rest of her life in regret if she didn’t tell him everything? Her heart was racing in her chest, pulses of fear paralyzing her vocal chords. She took a deep breath. She could do this. She remembered her dad. Meticulous. Professional.
“Just hang on until Monday. By then, I’m sure your lawyer will have come up with your defense. It’s going to be ok. Don’t think about jail sentences or going back home or any of that. Just think of this as a short break from school. You’ll show up to court Monday, the judge will see there’s absolutely no case against you, and the only thing you have to worry about is whether or not I do a good job on our lab report to get us both a good grade. Ok?”
There was so much more she wanted to say. Like how scared she was at the thought that she might be wrong. She might not get that video. She probably wouldn’t. And even though the lawyer had agreed to represent Reuben, he was far from optimistic. But none of that information would help Reuben right now. All he needed to know was Kennedy was advocating for him. Because she couldn’t stand the thought of a single day in class without him. Because she had already allowed her mind to wonder what might happen if the two of them both found the courage to admit how much they meant to each other. Because they shared something deeper than friendship.
Those were the things she wanted him to know, but she couldn’t find the words to tell him. Not like this. Not with him stuck in some jail.
“Let’s just make it to Monday,” she said as much to herself as to him. “Things are going to work out. I promise.”
- Writer
