QUORA DIARIES

THREE

@ANONYMOUS

Nandini's POV.

I got married to my ex via arranged marriage.

We were in relationship for 3 years. Things turned ugly. I would have gladly shot him if I was given the chance.

Two years after the break up and me turning 25, my parents were asking me constantly if I had someone. My reply was I am too scared for a relationship. Yes, I was traumatized by my relationship with him.

One day, I return home and to find drop dead silence in the guest room with plates filled with samosas, and mithais in front of them. My ex grinned at me with a sheepish smile and his fingers moved like he was saying ‘Hi there'. My throat turned dry. I went to my room and locked myself while my parents made an excuse, ‘she is kind of shy'.

I didn't have tears but rage. HOW DARE HE!!!

He was sent to my room to have a conversation. I didn't open the door. He tapped and said he wants to have a civil conversation.

I am in no way a civil person. I let him in locked the door and threw whatever I could. Lucky bastard, I didn't throw anything except clothes or my fluffy teddy bears. (My room is filled with those, I still love them.)

My answer would have never been yes if he hadn't apologized to me. He went on his knees, his hands catching his ears and a heartfelt speech.

I didn't melt there. At least, I pretended,I didn't.

He picked up everything I threw at him, books, teddies, pillows, put it on a proper place. (Anywhere other than floor.)

I didn't melt there. At least, I pretended, I didn't.

For two bloddy years I had gone over and over the insulting messages he had sent to me. So much so, I remembered every single lines to them, the time, date, everything. He was mean to me, disrespectful. I felt used. I felt like a trash. I wanted to exact the revenge. I wanted to make him feel what I felt. I hated myself for loving him.

He wanted to court me again. So, there, I behaved like a rude ass b***h. Never picked up the phone without at least 10 missed calls. Never complimented him. Never spoke more than, ‘oh’ ‘ok’.Never appreciated him. I never paid the bills. I shopped expensive shits. I wanted him to break. I wanted his mask to fall.

But,everytime I did this, I felt like I was killing myself. I felt awful. He was being nice to me, nicer than he was for 2 years of our relationship. It was in the 3rd year that something in him had switched.

I wanted to hold him and tell him I'm sorry for being so. I wanted to tell him, I was falling all over again. I wanted to make it upto him for those 2 years. I realized I too had too much of ego in me to admit that.

But, I was getting married anyway. So, I made it up to him. I am in love with him, a lot more than I ever had been. He is so sweet I might just get diabetes.

I hope you all are loving this initiative?