Forever Nine

Chapter 1-2

I heard the beeping and felt the cannula in my nose before I really woke completely. It took me a few minutes to remember where I was and why. Cracking open my eyes, I saw the recovery ward, and the nurse next to my bed leaned over to check on me. He had a warm smile.

“How you doing? What’s your pain at?”

I assessed my body, then croaked out, “Four.”

He nodded and made a note.

I closed my eyes again. I felt so sleepy. Except it was fading, slowly and surely.

“Everything…okay?” I mumbled.

He chuckled. “Yes, everything went well.”

“Good.” My brain was getting a bit clearer and I opened my eyes again. “Holden?”

“Who’s that?”

“My, um, friend. He was coming.”

The nurse patted my arm. “I’ll check. We’ll get you a bit more awake, and then he can come back, okay?”

I nodded, which made my head swim a bit and I did a few slow blinks. It wasn’t easy to lift my lids. But the thought of seeing Holden made me try. I breathed deep and slow, and felt a twinge in my abdomen. I thought it was weird how this pain was a relief from the other pain I’d been feeling. That was strange, wasn’t it?

“Not really,” the nurse said in a kind voice, letting me know I’d spoken out loud. “I’ve heard it before. Where’re you at now on the pain scale?”

“Um, maybe five. Creeping on six.”

“Good enough.”

I watched him inject something into my IV. Within a few minutes, the pain eased down to a manageable level.

Time passed in a weird blink, and before I knew it, I was definitely more with it. I sat up a little straighter, being careful not to put too much strain on my stomach. The surgery had been laparoscopic, so I knew I’d find only a few small incisions on my abdomen. When they’d gone over the surgery beforehand, they assured me I’d heal quickly, and within two weeks, I’d be back to my old self. As long as I didn’t overdo it in the first few days, that is.

They let me up to use the bathroom—which was the best piss I’d ever had in my life—and when I shuffled back to my bed, Holden was waiting in the visitor’s chair. He looked rumpled, like he’d just thrown on clothes, and what little hair he had was standing on end as though he’d been running his hands through it. He had scruff on his cheeks and worry in his eyes.

He looked breathtaking. Which is why I gasped.

He was on his feet in a split second, and at my side a blink after that. He carefully took hold of my arm and helped me back to bed.

“Should you be walking?” he growled, but I could tell it wasn’t at me. Holden shot a glare at the empty doorway and I chuckled, even though it hurt a little.

“Yeah, I swear. I’m good. It barely hurts. Part of that is the minimally invasive surgery. The other part is the happy juice they shot in my veins. They’re gonna give me a pill and then a script for them. I think Percocet.”

Holden nodded and eased me onto the bed. He pushed my floppy brown hair off my forehead, then pulled back as though he hadn’t meant to do it. I could only grin stupidly at him. Holden rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Are they giving you written discharge instructions? Because I can’t trust anything you say when you’re high like this.”

“Hey!” The indignance made my voice loud, but a quelling look from Holden had me lowering the volume. “I’m not high. A little spacey, maybe. But really. It’s not that strong.”

“All right,” Holden said, but not like he believed me. He looked around again. “Aren’t nurses supposed to be checking on you or something?”

“Are you worried about me?”

The look he shot me made my d**k hard. Or would have if I didn’t have painkillers in my system. I felt a twinge of something, like my d**k was trying, but it stayed soft against my thigh.

“Crap, I’m not wearing underwear,” I muttered.

Holden made that choking noise again and I shot my gaze sideways, which made my head spin. A few deep breaths later, and I was fine again. And so, apparently, was Holden. Because when I looked at him, his expression was blank. I smiled, and after a second, he smiled back.

Holden cleared his throat. “Did they say when you could get out of here?”

“Yeah, um…” I scrunched up my nose, trying to think. “Oh, yeah. I have to be awake for at least twice as long as I was under. Which I have been. And I have to tolerate fluids without throwing up. I’ve done that, too. I think they went to get the discharge stuff together after they dropped me off at the bathroom.”

As if my statement conjured her, a smiling nurse walked into the tiny room with papers in her hand. Her name tag read Tiffany, and she was blonde and perky. I didn’t like her at all. And it wasn’t because she was eye-f*****g Holden. Nope. Not at all.

I opened my mouth to tell her she was barking up the wrong tree, but Holden must have sensed I was going to say something, because he put his hand on my arm and gave Tiffany his attention.

“Tell me what I need to know, please. I’ll be taking care of him.”

The words shorted out my brain. I couldn’t focus on what she said at all, but she was pointing at the papers as she spoke. Which was good because I was a very comprehensive reader and I’d be able to figure everything out once I was home and in bed. After a nap, that is. Because hell if I didn’t need to sleep. Despite having just had a spectacular nap.

“Jesse.” Dom voice again. God, the things that voice did to me, even if physically I couldn’t get hard.

I shivered and looked at Holden.

He waited until I focused on his eyes, then asked quietly, “Do you need help getting dressed?”

It took me a second to realize he was holding the plastic bag that contained all my clothes and belongings. It had been under the bed. I remembered the nurses putting it there. Had Holden gotten it out? Or had the nurse? Where had I been when it happened?

“Jesse.” The voice, like a whip crack, startled me and made me focus.

“Yes, sir.” Crap, I’d vowed to myself I’d never say those words to him, despite how much I wanted to. “I mean, yes. Please. Just to get on the briefs and jeans.”

And crap again. There went the blush. I didn’t usually do that. I was too old for such nonsense. But I hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, and the thought of him seeing my junk was arousing but also embarrassing. I’d fantasized about being naked with him a million times. And in those fantasies, it had never been after I’d been operated on and couldn’t even get hard.

Holden didn’t seem to mind. He just nodded once, helped me slip out of the gown, and slid the briefs up my legs. I couldn’t look at him as he helped me stand and pulled them into place. And I had to look at the ceiling when he repeated the process with the jeans. He zipped them, but didn’t button the top.

“Best leave that open for now. I should have thought to grab you something easier to wear.”

“It’s okay,” I mumbled.

“Arms up.”

I obeyed without thinking, and he slid my T-shirt over my head. His touch was gentle when he smoothed my hair back into place, and he gave me a fond smile I rarely saw from him.

“Okay, I’m going to get the truck. They’ll wheel you out front. Don’t give the nurse a hard time.”

The order was firm, and I nodded immediately. His smile grew and I saw the pleasure in his eyes. That made something inside me warm. I’d pleased him. I’d made him happy. But before I could comment or speak, he was out the door.

I watched him go, immediately feeling his loss.