My Perfect Mate

I Never Meant To Hurt You

Gavin led me inside once most of the pack retreated to their homes. Unlike most pack houses, ours was pretty private. Only immediate family shared this large, impressive home in exception of the giant rec room and Olympic sized swimming pool. It was four floors and was over 6,000 sq ft. Each part of the family had their own wing. In the basement was the rec area where most of the pack came to blow off steam. There was a full movie theater, several pool tables, a bowling alley with 4 lanes, and a professional sized poker table. The first floor had an amazing 5 star kitchen with all top of the line appliances, we would use this for day to day. We had 5 Omegas on staff that rotated shifts so there was always someone around to prepare food. For larger gatherings like ceremonies, weddings, or birthdays, there was a larger, restaurant sized kitchen in back. There was a large dining hall on the far side of the house with floor to ceiling windows that let in lots of natural light. It had an amazing view of the lake with the surrounding forest. I couldn’t believe that was the view I got to enjoy while eating breakfast. Gavin led me up to the 2nd floor, there were two wings on this floor, the East wing and the West wing. Each wing had four bedrooms, two of the bedrooms had on suite bathrooms and the other two shared a bathroom, “Perfect for growing pups.” he winked at me as he led me to the other side of the 2nd floor.

“The West wing is for guests and family members that come to visit. If there is a visiting Alpha they will stay in this designated wing. I think your brothers have already claimed their rooms.” Gavin said with a chuckle. We walked through a common living space that separated each side of the floor.

“The East wing has been kept empty for overflow space, just in case my brother wanted to get off of my parents floor.” Gavin and I continued to climb the stairs.

“The third floor is for immediate family, my parents have the West side and Kevin has the East side. Mom and dad have only two bedrooms, while Kevin’s wing has four bedroom for those hypothetical pups that mom thinks he’s going to have.” Gavin almost seemed annoyed, I wonder what the deal was. I decided I would let it go for now, it was a conversation for another day.

As we hit the last flight of stairs I was a little winded, “I know my love, you’ll get used to it, I will show you where the private lift is when we get upstairs. Are you kidding me? There’s an elevator in this place and he waits till now to tell me about it? I nodded my head as we reached the final landing. “And this my love, is our floor.” I was shocked, this whole floor is for just us? It seems like a little much. There was a set of glass panned french doors that stood in front of us. Once inside, the first thing that you see is a small kitchenette with gorgeous marble counter tops and sleek white shaker cabinets. All of the appliances were top of the line. This was perfect for all of my midnight snacking needs. There was a small 3 seater breakfast bar that separate the kitchen from the modest sitting room, complete with a 70’ flat screen TV. Just on the other side of the overstuffed leather couches was an adorable little terrace that faced the East, perfect for watching the sun rise while drinking my morning coffee.

On the right of the kitchen were 3 additional bedrooms. Like the other wings, one of the bedrooms had its own on-suite, while the other two shared a Jack and Jill bath. If you walked all the way through the sitting room, separated by another set of double doors was a gorgeous master suite. It had those floor to ceiling windows that I love so much. We had a fantastic view of the mountains that spread across the whole West side of our territory. There was a large king sized bed on the far side of the room facing the impressive view. Gah, how romantic. We could lay in bed and watch the sunset. 

Gavin’s phone started to ring, “Go ahead and explore my love, I have to take this. I’ll be right back.” I started to wander throughout the room as Gavin stepped out into the living room. I went to the far corner and flipped on the light, the master bathroom was bigger than my old apartment in Portland. To the left of the door there was a large double vanity with plenty of storage for all my crap. Behind the vanity and on the right side of the door was an enormous soaker tub, I swear you could fit 5 people in that thing. It looked more like a small life boat instead of a tub. The whole back side of the bathroom was a glass surround shower with floor to ceiling marble tiles, again it was huge. I decided I had had enough of the bathroom so I walked back out into the bedroom. I noticed that there was another set of double doors to the right of me. Curiosity got the better of me so I turned and pulled on the handles. I stepped into a small room with automatic lights. It was a double walk in closet, right side for me and left side for Gavin. It had a huge island in the middle of the room with extra storage. I pulled on the top drawer and found stacks and stacks of brand new underwear, there was every kind imaginable, from slinky lace thongs to soft pastel cotton comfort panties. That’s when I realized what it was, it was one of the pantie tables that you would find in the middle of a Victoria Secret store. I continued to open every drawer, there were brand new bras with the tags still on, they were all in my size so Gavin must have sent people out to buy these for me. Hell, it looked like he just bought the whole damn table. I stepped back from the island and continued to look around the room. It was filled to the brim with new clothes. I ran my fingers across the hangers and realized that all of this was mostly from Torrid. There were several other high end designers among the mix. There was a whole wall of brand new shoes as well, most of them were running shoes and combat boots. He knew me so well. There were a few pairs of sandals and couple pairs of heels no doubt for special occasions only.

I was feeling overwhelmed, no one had ever done anything like this for me before. I couldn’t believe that Gavin thought I needed all of this. I was a very simple person and all of this just seemed like it was too much, I felt like I was being swallowed by this house. I suddenly needed air, I had to get outside some how. I ran out of the bedroom and through the living room to the terrace. I flew the doors open and stepped outside to took a deep breath.

After a few more minutes, Gavin still wasn’t back. I decided to wander to the kitchen and see if by chance the fridge was stocked the way my closet was. To my delight, when I opened the door, it was filled to the brim. I reached for a bottle of water and went in search for a snack. I saw a bag of Doritos and snatched them from the cabinet. I retreated back out to the terrace and sat at the little bistro table that was already set up for us. I leaned back in the chair and set my feet up on the railing, I ripped open the bag and dug in.

About 10 minutes later, Gavin came in and he was fuming. I swung my feet down and ran into the living room. His eyes were completely blacked out, I grabbed his face in my hands and started frantically looking for a sign. “Baby, baby listen to me. Come back to me, what ever it is, we can figure it out. Baby, baby, come on. I’m here, talk to me.” He was still spaced out, it’s like he couldn’t hear me. With his face still resting in my hands I pressed my lips against his. I felt his muscles relax and his arms wrapped around my waist. I pulled away slightly, his eyes were turning back to their golden brown. “Stella?” he was blinking rapidly, almost like I was a figment of his imagination. I kissed him once more, “Yes baby it’s me. You’re safe, come here sit down.” I led him over to the sofa and he plopped down. I sat down next to him and placed my hand on his thigh, “Tell me what’s going on.” He shook his head rapidly as if it was too horrible to even say out loud. “Gavin please tell me, maybe I can help.” He turned towards me with extreme sadness in his eyes. A single tear strolled down his cheek, I was quick to wipe it away. “Gavin, tell me what happened.” He took a long deep breath, “They found a body near the edge of our territory,” I closed my eyes and prepared for the rest, “It was a 12 year old boy Stell, he was murdered.” my hand flew to my mouth as I gasped, I was not expecting that.

”He’s not from our pack, he’s from Opal, where we are going to train tomorrow morning. The Rogues placed his body there on purpose. They’re taunting us, they know that we’re coming, and It looks like they’re ready for a fight.”

We sat there in silence, I honestly wanted to puke. How could someone do that to a 12 year old boy, he was just a kid. My heart broke for his family, I can’t imagine how they are feeling right now. Gavin reached over and grabbed my hand. “If only I could have gotten there sooner-” I knew what he was doing to himself.

 “No! Don’t you dare, this is not your fault. You had no control over this, do you hear me? We couldn’t have done anything different.” Gavin buried his face in his hands and started to cry. I scooted closer to him and rubbed his back. “Shh, baby it’s alright, I know that you’re upset, it’ll be okay.” He shot up from the couch and had fury in his eyes once again. “How do you know that it’s going to be alright? Huh? An innocent boy’s life was taken, what if that had been our son Stella, how you would feel then?” He was almost screaming at me, I don’t do well with that. I slowly stood off the couch as he continued, “maybe that boy would still be alive if I had been paying more attention to the outside world, if I wasn’t so swept up with… with-” I was in disbelief, was he really about to blame this on me? I cut him off, “I’m sorry, were you about to say me?” I suddenly became defensive, “Were you really going to some how blame this on me. You would put the blood of the young boy on my hands?” Gavin realized what he was insinuating and started to pace with his hands behind his hand. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Stella I didn’t mean to put this on you.” I knew he felt remorseful but I wasn’t feeling very forgiving at the moment. I pushed past him, “whatever, I’m going for a run. I’ll be back later.” As I walked by Gavin, he grabbed my upper arm and tried to pull me back to him. “Don’t you dare!” I yelled, “I can take care of myself.”

He gripped my arm harder, making Scarlet awaken in fury. ,My skin was burning as Scarlet prepared to take over, “You need to stay here, you hear me? It's not safe out there!” he yelled back, I let out a warning growl, “You don’t know what I need, what I NEED is to go for a run and get the f**k away from you!” I yanked my arm from his grasp and sprinted down the stairs, two at a time.

I burst through the front doors to an empty clearing, it was just after 10. Most of the pack were too terrified of the rogues to stay out past dark. The torches around the ring were my only source of light, I didn’t see anyone I recognized so I headed towards the treeline. A big tree of a man stepped in front of me blocking me from the woods. “Excuse me Luna, but Alpha has commanded me to keep you out of the woods. He asked that I escort you back upstairs to your apartment." I turned around to see Gavin standing in the bedroom window.

You motherfucker.

Stella, I just told you that a young boy was just found in the woods and your first idea is to go for a run in the woods, at night, by yourself? Not a chance.

You can’t keep me from doing what I want, who the f**k do you think you are?

I am your Alpha! Now listen to Cade and get your ass inside. NOW!

I was beyond livid, no one could control me. This was the main reason why I didn’t want a mate, I could take care of myself. I took a step back and smiled at Cade and let Scarlet out. Cade was forced to shift as well. He was easily 8’ tall, but that didn’t worry me. I was fast and limber, I got low to the ground and quickly slipped through his legs and took off into the woods. Cade was quick on my heels so I pushed Scarlet to pick up the pace. As I was trying to put distance between the two of us I saw a log in the corner of my eye, if I could slide under the log and change course, I might be able to lose him for good. I turned on a dime and slide under the log. I pushed Scarlet to her breaking point but we finally lost Cade. When I knew that we were well concealed, I shifted back and found a fallen tree to sit on. I buried my head in my hands and cried. I have never cried that hard in my life, my heart literally felt like it was shattered into a million pieces.

How can he blame this on me? I didn’t want this, I didn’t want any of this! This is exactly why I didn’t want a mate, this whole thing is bullshit. I should have never come back to the pack, I should have just stayed in Portland and lived my life as a human.

Stella, calm down sweetie, everything will be fine. He didn’t mean anything he said, he loves us. We are his whole world, if he doesn’t have us, he has nothing.

Then why the f**k did he say those awful things?

He blames himself for that boys death, he knows that he couldn’t do anything to change things so he tried to deflect it onto someone else, he didn’t mean to put this all on you.

How do you know all of this?

I’m linked with Peter. Gavin is a wreck, he thinks that you’re gone for good.

I should, I should just run away. I don’t belong here. I didn’t think that something like this could break me. I should have just kept true to myself, I wish I never met him!

No girl, don’t you dare say that. We are destined to be with him, the Moon Goddess paired us for a reason. Just take some time to calm down, everything will be fine. I’ll be here if you need me.

And just like that Scarlet was gone, she left me alone with my thoughts. I poured all of my emotions out, I had a burning in my chest that I wish would go away. My mouth was extremely dry and I was desperately trying to catch my breath. Suddenly, I heard twig snap behind me and I shot off of the log.

Scarlet come back, I need you.

I’m here girl!

I shifted once more and lowered myself to the ground so I could have the element of surprise.  

My attacker drew closer, I turned my muzzle to the sky and took a deep breath. I realized that I recognized the scent but I couldn’t quite place it. I knew that they were right on top of me now, I need to make the first move.

Ready Scarlet?

Oh I’m ready!

I pushed off my hind legs and flew through the air, knocking my attacker to the ground. I dug my paws into his shoulders? Wait human shoulders? I was so full of adrenaline that I hadn’t noticed Conner’s face.

Scarlet started to whimper and hopped off of him, I bowed down to the ground. “Damn Stella, I wasn’t expecting that!” He stood up and brushed himself off, “Here I brought you something,” He produced a navy blue, fleece blanket. He walked over and laid it over Scarlet’s back so I would have something on me when I shifted back. I pushed myself up and shook. I wrapped the blanket tight around my shoulders and went over sit next to Conner on the log. He pulled me into his arms and I let my tears flow once more. I couldn’t stop crying, I was so happy to see Conner.  I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have my big brother.

At first he let me cry, I can’t tell you how long it was but eventually he stopped rubbing my back, “Stella, please stop crying. You know I can’t handle that shit.” I wiped my nose on the blanket and swiped the tears from my face. I knew that I looked puffy and gross.

“How did you know where I was?” He looked just as surprised as I was.

“I didn’t know. Gavin linked the three of us and told us that you took off into the woods after you guys had a fight. He was desperate to find you. He’s a f*****g mess right now Stells, he said that you blocked him and then took off past one of his guards?”

“Poor Cade, never saw it coming." After a long pause I realized I needed to know, "Let me ask you, are you made at me for running?” He shook his head, “You know I love you Stella, I could never be mad at you. I think you’re incredibly stupid and reckless, but I’m not mad.” I laughed at him, “I’m sorry for freaking you guys out, I just had to get out of there. It’s my first night in a new pack, in a role that I haven’t even really accepted yet. I have a huge fight with my mate and take off into the woods by myself… I’m such a mess.” I groaned and buried my face in my blanket. Conner started rubbing my back again, “Yes you are a mess, but you are Gavin’s mess. He’s really f****d up right Stells, he won’t stop talking to me right now. I just don’t want to tell him that I found you, unless you want to be found.” I threw my head back, “argh, why does this have to be so f*****g complicated!” I was almost screaming, “I just don’t know if I can face him right now. He said some really f****d up s**t and I am not ready for things to go back to normal right now. I just kinda want more space to think through some things.” Conner let out an exasperated sigh. “Fine, here’s what we’ll do. Your bags are still in the Jeep, wait here and I’ll go grab you some clothes, shift back while I’m gone. When I come back I’ll link Gavin and tell him that I found you but you’ve made it clear that you need some space. You can crash with the three of us tonight.” I nudged him softly with my shoulder, “Thank you.” Conner gave me that big brother smile. "Anytime kid."