The Complete Works of William Shakespeare

Chapter 33

SCENE V. Alexandria. CLEOPATRA'S palaceEnter CLEOPATRA, CHARMIAN, IRAS, and ALEXAS

CLEOPATRA. Give me some music- music, moody food

Of us that trade in love.

ALL. The music, ho!

Enter MARDIAN the eunuch

CLEOPATRA. Let it alone! Let's to billiards. Come, Charmian.

CHARMIAN. My arm is sore; best play with Mardian.

CLEOPATRA. As well a woman with an eunuch play'd

As with a woman. Come, you'll play with me, sir?

MARDIAN. As well as I can, madam.

CLEOPATRA. And when good will is show'd, though't come too short,

The actor may plead pardon. I'll none now.

Give me mine angle- we'll to th' river. There,

My music playing far off, I will betray

Tawny-finn'd fishes; my bended hook shall pierce

Their slimy jaws; and as I draw them up

I'll think them every one an Antony,

And say 'Ah ha! Y'are caught.'

CHARMIAN. 'Twas merry when

You wager'd on your angling; when your diver

Did hang a salt fish on his hook, which he

With fervency drew up.

CLEOPATRA. That time? O times

I laughed him out of patience; and that night

I laugh'd him into patience; and next morn,

Ere the ninth hour, I drunk him to his bed,

Then put my tires and mantles on him, whilst

I wore his sword Philippan.

Enter a MESSENGER

O! from Italy?

Ram thou thy fruitful tidings in mine ears,

That long time have been barren.

MESSENGER. Madam, madam-

CLEOPATRA. Antony's dead! If thou say so, villain,

Thou kill'st thy mistress; but well and free,

If thou so yield him, there is gold, and here

My bluest veins to kiss- a hand that kings

Have lipp'd, and trembled kissing.

MESSENGER. First, madam, he is well.

CLEOPATRA. Why, there's more gold.

But, sirrah, mark, we use

To say the dead are well. Bring it to that,

The gold I give thee will I melt and pour

Down thy ill-uttering throat.

MESSENGER. Good madam, hear me.

CLEOPATRA. Well, go to, I will.

But there's no goodness in thy face. If Antony

Be free and healthful- why so tart a favour

To trumpet such good tidings? If not well,

Thou shouldst come like a Fury crown'd with snakes,

Not like a formal man.

MESSENGER. Will't please you hear me?

CLEOPATRA. I have a mind to strike thee ere thou speak'st.

Yet, if thou say Antony lives, is well,

Or friends with Caesar, or not captive to him,

I'll set thee in a shower of gold, and hail

Rich pearls upon thee.

MESSENGER. Madam, he's well.

CLEOPATRA. Well said.

MESSENGER. And friends with Caesar.

CLEOPATRA. Th'art an honest man.

MESSENGER. Caesar and he are greater friends than ever.

CLEOPATRA. Make thee a fortune from me.

MESSENGER. But yet, madam-

CLEOPATRA. I do not like 'but yet.' It does allay

The good precedence; fie upon 'but yet'!

'But yet' is as a gaoler to bring forth

Some monstrous malefactor. Prithee, friend,

Pour out the pack of matter to mine ear,

The good and bad together. He's friends with Caesar;

In state of health, thou say'st; and, thou say'st, free.

MESSENGER. Free, madam! No; I made no such report.

He's bound unto Octavia.

CLEOPATRA. For what good turn?

MESSENGER. For the best turn i' th' bed.

CLEOPATRA. I am pale, Charmian.

MESSENGER. Madam, he's married to Octavia.

CLEOPATRA. The most infectious pestilence upon thee!

[Strikes him down]

MESSENGER. Good madam, patience.

CLEOPATRA. What say you? Hence, [Strikes him]

Horrible villain! or I'll spurn thine eyes

Like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head;

[She hales him up and down]

Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire and stew'd in brine,

Smarting in ling'ring pickle.

MESSENGER. Gracious madam,

I that do bring the news made not the match.

CLEOPATRA. Say 'tis not so, a province I will give thee,

And make thy fortunes proud. The blow thou hadst

Shall make thy peace for moving me to rage;

And I will boot thee with what gift beside

Thy modesty can beg.

MESSENGER. He's married, madam.

CLEOPATRA. Rogue, thou hast liv'd too long. [Draws a knife]

MESSENGER. Nay, then I'll run.

What mean you, madam? I have made no fault. Exit

CHARMIAN. Good madam, keep yourself within yourself:

The man is innocent.

CLEOPATRA. Some innocents scape not the thunderbolt.

Melt Egypt into Nile! and kindly creatures

Turn all to serpents! Call the slave again.

Though I am mad, I will not bite him. Call!

CHARMIAN. He is afear'd to come.

CLEOPATRA. I will not hurt him.

These hands do lack nobility, that they strike

A meaner than myself; since I myself

Have given myself the cause.

Enter the MESSENGER again

Come hither, sir.

Though it be honest, it is never good

To bring bad news. Give to a gracious message

An host of tongues; but let ill tidings tell

Themselves when they be felt.

MESSENGER. I have done my duty.

CLEOPATRA. Is he married?

I cannot hate thee worser than I do

If thou again say 'Yes.'

MESSENGER. He's married, madam.

CLEOPATRA. The gods confound thee! Dost thou hold there still?

MESSENGER. Should I lie, madam?

CLEOPATRA. O, I would thou didst,

So half my Egypt were submerg'd and made

A cistern for scal'd snakes! Go, get thee hence.

Hadst thou Narcissus in thy face, to me

Thou wouldst appear most ugly. He is married?

MESSENGER. I crave your Highness' pardon.

CLEOPATRA. He is married?

MESSENGER. Take no offence that I would not offend you;

To punish me for what you make me do

Seems much unequal. He's married to Octavia.

CLEOPATRA. O, that his fault should make a knave of thee

That art not what th'art sure of! Get thee hence.

The merchandise which thou hast brought from Rome

Are all too dear for me. Lie they upon thy hand,

And be undone by 'em! Exit MESSENGER

CHARMIAN. Good your Highness, patience.

CLEOPATRA. In praising Antony I have disprais'd Caesar.

CHARMIAN. Many times, madam.

CLEOPATRA. I am paid for't now. Lead me from hence,

I faint. O Iras, Charmian! 'Tis no matter.

Go to the fellow, good Alexas; bid him

Report the feature of Octavia, her years,

Her inclination; let him not leave out

The colour of her hair. Bring me word quickly.

Exit ALEXAS

Let him for ever go- let him not, Charmian-

Though he be painted one way like a Gorgon,

The other way's a Mars. [To MARDIAN]

Bid you Alexas

Bring me word how tall she is.- Pity me, Charmian,

But do not speak to me. Lead me to my chamber. Exeunt

SCENE VI. Near MisenumFlourish. Enter POMPEY and MENAS at one door, with drum and trumpet; at another, CAESAR, ANTONY, LEPIDUS, ENOBARBUS, MAECENAS, AGRIPPA, with soldiers marching

POMPEY. Your hostages I have, so have you mine;

And we shall talk before we fight.

CAESAR. Most meet

That first we come to words; and therefore have we

Our written purposes before us sent;

Which if thou hast considered, let us know

If 'twill tie up thy discontented sword

And carry back to Sicily much tall youth

That else must perish here.

POMPEY. To you all three,

The senators alone of this great world,

Chief factors for the gods: I do not know

Wherefore my father should revengers want,

Having a son and friends, since Julius Caesar,

Who at Philippi the good Brutus ghosted,

There saw you labouring for him. What was't

That mov'd pale Cassius to conspire? and what

Made the all-honour'd honest Roman, Brutus,

With the arm'd rest, courtiers of beauteous freedom,

To drench the Capitol, but that they would

Have one man but a man? And that is it

Hath made me rig my navy, at whose burden

The anger'd ocean foams; with which I meant

To scourge th' ingratitude that despiteful Rome

Cast on my noble father.

CAESAR. Take your time.

ANTONY. Thou canst not fear us, Pompey, with thy sails;

We'll speak with thee at sea; at land thou know'st

How much we do o'er-count thee.

POMPEY. At land, indeed,

Thou dost o'er-count me of my father's house.

But since the cuckoo builds not for himself,

Remain in't as thou mayst.

LEPIDUS. Be pleas'd to tell us-

For this is from the present- how you take

The offers we have sent you.

CAESAR. There's the point.

ANTONY. Which do not be entreated to, but weigh

What it is worth embrac'd.

CAESAR. And what may follow,

To try a larger fortune.

POMPEY. You have made me offer

Of Sicily, Sardinia; and I must

Rid all the sea of pirates; then to send

Measures of wheat to Rome; this 'greed upon,

To part with unhack'd edges and bear back

Our targes undinted.

ALL. That's our offer.

POMPEY. Know, then,

I came before you here a man prepar'd

To take this offer; but Mark Antony

Put me to some impatience. Though I lose

The praise of it by telling, you must know,

When Caesar and your brother were at blows,

Your mother came to Sicily and did find

Her welcome friendly.

ANTONY. I have heard it, Pompey,

And am well studied for a liberal thanks

Which I do owe you.

POMPEY. Let me have your hand.

I did not think, sir, to have met you here.

ANTONY. The beds i' th' East are soft; and thanks to you,

That call'd me timelier than my purpose hither;

For I have gained by't.

CAESAR. Since I saw you last

There is a change upon you.

POMPEY. Well, I know not

What counts harsh fortune casts upon my face;

But in my bosom shall she never come

To make my heart her vassal.

LEPIDUS. Well met here.

POMPEY. I hope so, Lepidus. Thus we are agreed.

I crave our composition may be written,

And seal'd between us.

CAESAR. That's the next to do.

POMPEY. We'll feast each other ere we part, and let's

Draw lots who shall begin.

ANTONY. That will I, Pompey.

POMPEY. No, Antony, take the lot;

But, first or last, your fine Egyptian cookery

Shall have the fame. I have heard that Julius Caesar

Grew fat with feasting there.

ANTONY. You have heard much.

POMPEY. I have fair meanings, sir.

ANTONY. And fair words to them.

POMPEY. Then so much have I heard;

And I have heard Apollodorus carried-

ENOBARBUS. No more of that! He did so.

POMPEY. What, I pray you?

ENOBARBUS. A certain queen to Caesar in a mattress.

POMPEY. I know thee now. How far'st thou, soldier?

ENOBARBUS. Well;

And well am like to do, for I perceive

Four feasts are toward.

POMPEY. Let me shake thy hand.

I never hated thee; I have seen thee fight,

When I have envied thy behaviour.

ENOBARBUS. Sir,

I never lov'd you much; but I ha' prais'd ye

When you have well deserv'd ten times as much

As I have said you did.

POMPEY. Enjoy thy plainness;

It nothing ill becomes thee.

Aboard my galley I invite you all.

Will you lead, lords?

ALL. Show's the way, sir.

POMPEY. Come. Exeunt all but ENOBARBUS and MENAS

MENAS. [Aside] Thy father, Pompey, would ne'er have made this

treaty.- You and I have known, sir.

ENOBARBUS. At sea, I think.

MENAS. We have, sir.

ENOBARBUS. You have done well by water.

MENAS. And you by land.

ENOBARBUS. I Will praise any man that will praise me; though it

cannot be denied what I have done by land.

MENAS. Nor what I have done by water.

ENOBARBUS. Yes, something you can deny for your own safety: you

have been a great thief by sea.

MENAS. And you by land.

ENOBARBUS. There I deny my land service. But give me your hand,

Menas; if our eyes had authority, here they might take two

thieves kissing.

MENAS. All men's faces are true, whatsome'er their hands are.

ENOBARBUS. But there is never a fair woman has a true face.

MENAS. No slander: they steal hearts.

ENOBARBUS. We came hither to fight with you.

MENAS. For my part, I am sorry it is turn'd to a drinking.

Pompey doth this day laugh away his fortune.

ENOBARBUS. If he do, sure he cannot weep't back again.

MENAS. Y'have said, sir. We look'd not for Mark Antony here. Pray

you, is he married to Cleopatra?

ENOBARBUS. Caesar' sister is call'd Octavia.

MENAS. True, sir; she was the wife of Caius Marcellus.

ENOBARBUS. But she is now the wife of Marcus Antonius.

MENAS. Pray ye, sir?

ENOBARBUS. 'Tis true.

MENAS. Then is Caesar and he for ever knit together.

ENOBARBUS. If I were bound to divine of this unity, I would not

prophesy so.

MENAS. I think the policy of that purpose made more in the marriage

than the love of the parties.

ENOBARBUS. I think so too. But you shall find the band that seems

to tie their friendship together will be the very strangler of

their amity: Octavia is of a holy, cold, and still conversation.

MENAS. Who would not have his wife so?

ENOBARBUS. Not he that himself is not so; which is Mark Antony. He

will to his Egyptian dish again; then shall the sighs of Octavia

blow the fire up in Caesar, and, as I said before, that which is

the strength of their amity shall prove the immediate author of

their variance. Antony will use his affection where it is; he

married but his occasion here.

MENAS. And thus it may be. Come, sir, will you aboard? I have a

health for you.

ENOBARBUS. I shall take it, sir. We have us'd our throats in Egypt.

MENAS. Come, let's away. Exeunt