THE MURDER WEAPON

THE MURDER WEAPON EPISODE SIX

I lifted her chin and checked if she was breathing but she was not so I started CPR on her as I confirmed how she was responding. I pumped her chest a little longer then turned her over and the water she had swallowed come out through her mouth accompanied with a cough. Waridi had freaked me out fir a minute because never had i had such an experience before. what would have happened had she died right there?..

I got her up and had her sit on one of the chairs, I covered her with a towel as I cleared the pool off everyone because everyone had now crowded us checking out me going about bringing her back from her near death experience. It wasn't hard convincing people after what had happened and so after everyone had left for the changing room I got back to where waridi was and sat next to her looking deep in her eyes as tears ran down her cheeks. why had she tried to kill herself?...

I didn't need to ask if she was okay because clearly she was not. I took her hands in mine and gently rubbed them not saying a word to her because i wanted her to calm down before we could have that conversation.

The manager of the hotel came around to see if waridi was okay and after a chat with him he allowed me to leave early so that I could take care of her before I got to class which I wasn't even sure if I was going to attend.

Me: do you need to see a doctor for check up?

i asked not quite sure of whether or not she needed to see a doctor because she looked like she was much better.

She shook her head then wiped the tears in her eyes and looked away from my guess. i could tell she was in pain but i could not tell what was really going on with her.

Waridi: am sorry for putting you through all that but you should have let me die..

she had tears in her eyes again.

Me: you want to talk about it?

i asked still having her hands in mine.

Waridi: I don't know,. But I feel so tired.

Me: please talk to me waridi, I know this was not a case of normal drowning but an attempted suicide. What is bothering you.

Waridi: I will tell you about it but not here.

Me: okay, Come with me. I will get changed then we can leave.

We both went to the changing room, got dressed and a few minutes later we were walking to waridi's car with me holding her arm as she seemed a bit weak.

We got to the car, I took the driver's seat and we drove off.

The drive was very silent and I couldn't take it anymore so i pulled over by the roadside and switched off the car. Why was I doing that, I knew if I let waridi go without talking to her she would try to take her life again so I wanted to listen to her without being judgmental then see how I could help after that.

Me: I will not be attending class today so we have the entire evening to catch up and talk..

Waridi: thanks.

Me: what's going on?

Waridi: I have been fighting depression for the longest time possible. I have gone through one hell of a life and today, I felt like I couldn't take it anymore. i have had enough..

WARIDI'S NARRATION

Three years ago I finished my O levels but I was not in a good state. I got pregnant before i could join college and that made things pretty difficult for me as it is not something i had asked for.

I went home for the last mid term just before we sat for exams and I was so excited about finishing school so that i could finally get a taste of what it felt like to be out there as a citizen. school felt like prison most of the time, My dad wasn't around alot of the time as he travelled alot for business. Mum had a stall in the market and she wouldn't be home the entire day so being the only child, I was home alone most of the time.

In our flat there was this guy who lived on our floor, his name was Kim. He was good looking and friendly though I never got too comfortable around him since he smoked weed and had several girls visit him so I knew he was a womanizer.

One afternoon I had come from the salon and I was climbing the steps in a hurry to catch some program on TV. I never noticed him standing at the end of the stairs so when I got up I bumped right into him and he held me by the waist. He surprised me so I tried to pull off from his hold but he didn't let go.

Kim: its okay, I won't hurt you. I just want us to talk.

he said pulling me even closer to him.

Me: there's nothing to talk about please let go.

I pushed him away but he didn't let go, he instead pulled me to his house and locked the door. I screamed but no one could come to my rescue because most of the people in the flat had gone to work.

Kim: if you dare scream again you will live to regret it.

He said taking off his clothes as I watched and standing in front of me naked. He walked to the tv stand picked some syringe with a needle on it and walked up to me.

Kim: I've been eyeing you for sometime now but every attempt to get to you failed. Remember when I moved to this place, you are the first person I met and you were kind enough to tell me where the caretaker lived and that very day, I fell in love with that smile.

Me: I did what any other person could have done.

Kim: and right now you will do what am asking you to do. Undress!

Me: what?

Kim: I said take off your clothes.

Me: I will not, so now what you want to r**e me?

Kim: that depends with how cooperative you are. See this syringe carries blood that has the HIV virus. If you don't do what I want I will inject it into you and watch you live your life in regret.

I was speachless as my mouth went dry. I looked at him and saw a monster behind a good looking face.

Me: please, let me go. Am still a student. I promised I will not tell anyone what happened here but just let me go please.

I was scared. I couldn't bare the thought of him having s*x with me and I couldn't bare the thought of being HIV positive either.

He got angry when I didn't do what he wanted so he forcefully tore my clothes off me and pushed me to the bed.

Kim: you have been playing hard to get huh, I will give you a feel of what you have been missing.

He pressed me on the bed and held the syringe on the other hand. I felt helpless, I tried to fight him off but he grabbed my neck and pressed me down pointing the needle to a vein on my arm.

Kim: the thing is I might inject this blood into your system and still have s*x with you so if I were you, I would act smart.

I let him have his way with me though it was still a risk. I didn't know his HIV status given the fact that he had slept with many women and I didn't Know if the blood was really his or someone else's. I thought I would better be pregnant than be HIV positive.

After he was finished with me he let me go with a warning not to tell anyone what had happened. He pulled a drawer and showed me a gun. " If you don't want to end up dead, you will keep your mouth shut" he said as he opened the door to confirm that no one was there and he ask me to go.

I got to the house, took a shower and changed into different clothes and trashing the ones he had torn and as painful as my body was, I had to act okay when my mum came. I couldn't talk to her about what had happened because we were not even that close.

During that time, I didn't know there were emergency pills as I wasn't sexually active. My dad was a very strict man and my mum never wanted to see me talking to any guys. My life was a boring one, it was school and when I was back it was church and home, nothing else.

That night as i was lying on my bed I heard mum argue with someone over the phone and when I tried to listen in carefully I realized they were fighting over a daughter. Mum was telling her that he lost the child when he chose to pursue a different life and abandon her pregnant. I don't think she knew I was still awake because she would have been a bit discreet.

The following day I was going back to school so having cried myself to sleep the previous night, I woke up at around 6am to catch mum before she left because I wanted to know what she was talking about last night besides asking for money for my shopping. I prepared breakfast as she took a shower.

Minutes later she was at the living room and having set the tea on the table I sat opposite her.

Mum: I thought you were leaving for school at 10. You have woken up so early.

Me: that's because I wanted us to talk.

Mum: is there a problem at school?

Me: no. I heard you last night.

Mum: what did you hear?

Me: the argument between you and that man.

Mum: it's nothing that concerns you

Me: tell me the truth mum. Is he my real father?

Mum: waridi!

Me: you better tell me the truth right now when am asking because if I find out from someone else, I will never forgive you for it.

She was quiet for a moment then looked up at me.

Mum: waridi, your real father abandoned me when I was two months pregnant with you. He didn't care about you or your welfare. I had to find a different life for you.

Me: you should have told me mum, you should have told me.

An hour later my mum left and I prepared myself then left very upset and bitter. How could she keep such an important thing from me, nowonder everytime we went to the family gatherings everyone thought I looked nothing like them since I was light skinned and everyone else was dark. I got to town, did a small shopping and took a matatu that was two and a half hours drive to my school.

The remaining months before I sat for my exams ware so hard for me. I kept thinking about the coward that never gave a damn and abandoned me. I also couldn't get what had happened and how the guy forced himself on me off my mind. all I did was find a place to cry my heart out. What if I was pregnant, what if he was the one who was HIV positive, what was I going to do with my life?

I didn't talk to anyone about my encounter not even my best friend. She saw me moodless and on edge most of the time but I couldn't tell her.

I finally sat for my exams and when the results were out I sank big time. By then I was four months pregnant and I couldn't hide it anymore especially from my mum. She asked me if I was pregnant and I told her I was though I couldn't tell her who the father was since the Kim guy and shifted by the time I came back from school.

I had tested for HIV in one of the clinic visits and I was negative so even though I never forgot what happened I was glad that it was just pregnancy and nothing else because i don't know what I would have done with myself..

Me: wow, that was quit alot to handle. Iam so sorry about that, what happened after you told your mum?

Waridi: she kept pressuring me to tell her the truth because my dad was to come home anytime and she needed to know how to handle the situation.

Me: did you?

Waridi: I eventually did narrate to her everything that had happened and I didn't even know whether or not she believed me because the guy was nolonger there.

Me: so what happened when your dad came back?

Waridi: Dad had been away for the whole year and when he came back, I knew there was going to be a problem. Mum must have told him the biggest secret I needed her to keep but did she have a choice? One evening I sat on my bed inside my room making phone calls to do follow ups on some jobs I had applied for earlier knowing so well I would need one right now more than ever. From my room, I could hear my parents argue in their room and having been curious to know if the fight was about me, I tip toed and went eavesdropping and after listening for a while I decided to go back to my room but before I could get any further, I heard my father shout "she is not staying here" followed by the door being opened but before I could get to my room I was already in sight.

Dad: stop right there, where do you think you are going?

I turned to look at him but didn't say a word.

My father was a very harsh man, he was very strict and that is something that made me and him not a have a relationship at all. My father was the type of man I couldn't sit down at a table with and talk to leave alone answering a question he asked. He is the type of a man who would slap you for a response and slap you for not responding. He simply didn't believe in reasoning out with a "child" and with him, his word was final.

Dad: am talking to you waridi

Me: I was going to my room.

Dad: what room, the last time I checked you didn't own anything in this house. I have fed you, clothed you, paid your school fees then this is the way you repay me?

I was still silent not knowing how to respond to those claims even though I knew they were true.

Dad: Answer my question waridi!

Me: you didn't ask a question dad,

Mum: honey please let's talk about this in a more Calm way.

Dad: shut up Helena, this girl has shamed me and turnished my image. How am I supposed to face my friends after this, the church leaders and all those people who are important in my life?

Mum: Joel, it has happened it has happened, she is our daughter and there is a better way to address this issues.

Dad: what daughter, she is your daughter, I raised my child to be an important person so that she could make me proud someday but look at this, waridi came home pregnant after sitting for her final exams. How am I supposed to deal with that?

Me: dad am sorry, it wasn't my wish to disappoint you like this.

Dad: whose wish was it, who is responsible for that thing, did you drink it in tea?

Mum: Joel!

Dad: why are you on her side, do you know something I don't, why were you telling me if you didn't want me to ask?

He then shifted his gaze to me and pointed to my room.

Dad: I want you to go to that room, get all your clothes and get out of my house and let me not see you here again because if I do, I will kill you.

I actually thought it was a joke but I knew he meant every word when he asked my mother to help me pack. She tried to intervene but the slap she was given made her shut up and watch from a far. As I was still taking my time to collect my clothes and pack them up before leaving, my father went out to the balcony and came back with a piece of wood that he used to hit my back and the next thing I know is that I was lying on the floor rolling in pain as my mother tried to fight him off with all the strength she had begging him not to kill me.

Mum: it's enough Joel you will kill the baby inside her.

He threw the wood down, dragged me out and locked the door. I could hear my mother shouting from inside but she was forbidden to come out of the house.

As pregnant as I was, I gathered strength and slowly walked down the stairs supporting myself with the rails and on getting down I crawled on my side calling for help and when someone who was outside the gate heard me, he came rushing in.

Him: What is wrong?

I was so tired I couldn't respond and by then there were traces of blood on my trouser.

Me: get me to a hospital please.

I managed to say and he immediately carried me to the taxi he worked in.

Him: Is there someone I can call

Me: just take me to the hospital.

I got to the hospital and was rushed to the ER. The doctor couldn't save my baby as It had died in my womb and the only option was to get rid on the baby.

Rahim, I left that hospital a bitter woman with no baby and the sight of my unborn child tormenting me for days. I couldn't get over it. i cried my eyes dry and I was so mad at my father that I swore that as long as he was alive, I was never going to have anything to do with him. I cut communication with everyone I knew even mum. After throwing me out, they never got to see or hear from me again.

That period of my life I went through hell. I was hungry with nothing to eat, all the money I had saved from the promotion jobs I had been doing, I used it to clear myself from the hospital. I was in the street sleeping in the cold and stinking for not having taken a bath since I left the hospital.

As I was walking around looking for a job I saw a house girl bureau and decided to ask for help to find a job and the lady I found there was so kind. I explained my situation to her and having been touched she took me to her house, had me take a shower, she gave me some food and clean set of clothes then called a lady who was looking for a house help and the lady asked me to go that very day for she was desperate for a house help.

I went for that job but that was the beginning of my nightmare...