Why Don't You Want Me?

Chapter 3: The Need to Break Her

Angel's POV

I leaned against the wall, my back pressed against the cool surface, as the sea of students surged past me. It felt like I was standing still in the midst of their relentless forward motion, trapped in a storm of thoughts and doubts.

Riaya.

Her name lingered in my mind, a haunting reminder of feelings I thought I’d buried long ago. When the rumors first surfaced about her still being into me, I laughed it off as just another cruel joke. How could Riaya, after everything, still have feelings for me? I was the one who had pushed her away, who decided we were too different.

But then Kaya confirmed it. Her knowing glance, her subtle hints, shifted something inside me. It made me start caring again, a feeling I couldn’t quite understand but couldn’t ignore. I had convinced myself years ago that cutting Riaya out of my life was the right choice. We were different people—she had this seemingly perfect family, while I was drowning in the wreckage of my parents' divorce. What would she know about my struggles? I thought it was easier to cut her out, to pretend she didn’t matter.

Back then, I told myself I wasn’t interested in someone like Riaya. I had convinced myself that she wasn’t my type, that I didn’t need the complications of her life mixing with my own. I had to shut her out. And yet, deep down, I was lying to myself. I had always been drawn to her. Her laughter, her warmth—it stirred something in me that I was too stubborn to admit.

Now, standing here, those feelings have resurfaced with a vengeance. I’m with Kaya now, and while I enjoy her company, it’s a different kind of enjoyment. Kaya is fun, spontaneous, and fits into the kind of life I thought I wanted. She’s the kind of girl who goes along with whatever’s easy and enjoyable. It’s simple, uncomplicated. With her, there’s no need for deep introspection or emotional baggage.

But with Riaya, everything is tangled and confusing. The way she looked at me yesterday, her eyes filled with a mixture of vulnerability and anger, made me second-guess everything I had told myself. It felt like seeing her for the first time again, and I couldn’t shake the thought of her from my mind.

I find myself resenting the fact that I care. We haven’t spoken in years, and here I am, still tangled in old emotions. I’m with Kaya, and she’s everything I thought I needed—safe, uncomplicated. But Riaya’s reappearance has complicated things, and it makes me question my decisions.

I’m torn. Part of me wants to push Riaya away even further. I can’t deny the satisfaction I feel in knowing that I’m dating her best friend. There’s a twisted sense of revenge in it, a way to hurt Riaya and make her feel the sting of my choices. Maybe if I can break her, if I can make her realize that I’m truly out of reach, it will free her from whatever feelings she still harbors for me.

I’m not convinced that she’s completely over me, not after the way she reacted yesterday. Her confusion, her apparent discomfort—it all points to unresolved feelings. I can’t let her cling to those feelings, not when I’m with Kaya. I need to make it clear that I’m not available, that I’m no longer the person she once knew. I want to break through whatever idealized version of me she’s holding onto and force her to face reality.

So here I am, struggling with the knowledge that pushing Riaya away might be the only way to free both of us. Maybe if I break her enough, it will force her to let go of the past and move on. Maybe then, I can finally get rid of these lingering doubts and feelings, and fully embrace the life I’ve chosen with Kaya.

But as I stand here, watching the students bustle around me, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m on the brink of making a mistake. The doubts gnaw at me, but I push them aside. I’ve made my choices. Now, I have to see them through, no matter how painful it might be for everyone involved.

"Yaya, just stop. We need to talk."

"I said, Don't call me that, and why? So you can tell me, you’re dating my so-called best friend? I hear the rumors too," she shot back, making air quotes, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

I had just gotten home that day and spotted Riaya and her mom unloading groceries from their car. My gaze lingered on her—damn, she was beautiful. I studied her lips, and before I knew it, images flashed through my mind. *Don't go there,* I told myself, shaking the thoughts away.

Grabbing my phone, I texted her, grateful Kaya had given me her new number.

"Who is this?"

"It's me, Angel. Meet me in the backyard in five."

I waited, staring at the screen. After what felt like forever, her reply finally came: *K.*

I bolted through my driveway and down to the backyard, my pulse quickening. When she showed up, I blinked, surprised by her outfit—nothing extravagant, but somehow, it made her look effortlessly stunning.

"Why are you dressed like that?" I blurted, trying not to let my thoughts wander.

She tilted her head slightly, a teasing smile tugging at her lips as she licked them slowly. "If that’s all, I’ll take my leave."

"Wait," I said louder than I intended. "Yaya, just stop. We need to talk."

She turned on her heel, arms crossed. "Why? So you can tell me you're dating my best friend? I’ve heard it all already," she snapped, the bitterness in her voice cutting through the air.

"Yes, it's true. I’ve been seeing Kaya," I admitted, the words coming out harsher than I intended. "And I need to make something clear, Riaya. I will never want you. I will never be with you in a romantic way. You’re *not* my type. I would never date or be into a girl like you."

The silence between us was deafening. Her back was turned, her shoulders tense. For a moment, I wondered if I had gone too far.

"Really?" she whispered, her voice so low I almost didn’t hear her.

Suddenly, she turned around and stepped toward me, slowly closing the gap between us. My heart pounded in my chest as she came closer, her eyes locked onto mine. I felt my back press against the old oak tree behind me, and before I could react, her body was inches from mine. Too close. My pulse spiked as I felt every inch of her against me, blood rushing to places it shouldn’t.

She placed her hands on my shoulders, her breath warm as she whispered, "What’s the big deal with being with you, huh?"

Her lips hovered dangerously close to mine, and I couldn’t stop myself. She was like a magnet, pulling me in. I leaned in, just an inch closer—just enough to—

And then she laughed.

A soft giggle escaped her lips as she stepped back, leaving me standing there, stunned and frozen.

Before I could say anything, she walked away, sauntering back toward her house with that same teasing smile.

"Riaya!" I shouted, my voice laced with frustration. "We’re not done talking!"

But all I got in return was her back and a raised middle finger as she disappeared from view.

"f**k you, Angel!"

I stood there, breathless and angry, wondering if I had done it. Had I broken her?

With a heavy sigh, I turned and headed back inside.